Wild Dark Shores

by sssmahh303, posted in Reviews

Mary Ann

I just finished Charlotte McConaghy’s new book, Wild Dark Shores.  I couldn’t put it down.  In fact, I finished the book in two days.  You could read it all in one day.  McConaghy is an extraordinary writer giving the reader rich storylines with complex characters, settings that are in remote places, and lots of twists. She combines all of this with strong themes about nature and environmental issues – often a wake-up call about our planet. 

Shearwater, a remote island near Antarctica, is home to widower, Dominic Salt, and his three children, Raff, Fen, and Orley.  Dominic is the caregiver to the world’s seed bank. His job is to protect the seeds that may be needed in the future to feed the world. The island and the seed bank are under pressure with rising sea waters.  The island also is home to a research center for scientist to study plants, animal, weather, climate change, and the like.  Scientist come and go a few times a year. 

The family lives in an old light house atop of the island.  Have you ever noticed how people who live in light houses are a little off?  There are many books and movies that depict this.  The Shearwater lighthouse is no exception.  It seems to be haunted.  Is it real or imagined?

The weather is unpredictable, the seas are rough and rising, and the island is constantly under attack from the elements.  During one storm – yes, a dark and stormy night, a woman  washes ashore.  The family saves Rowan, the mysterious woman, and while she heals, Rowan bonds with the island and the Salts.  They are all awaiting the Navy ship to take them away from their home of eight years, for Rowan to return to her life, and rescue the seeds. The story unfolds during the days of preparations.

Charlotte McConaghy moves the story forward through the perspective of the various characters. They all have backstories that you will discover, and as in all McConaghy’s books, there will be many plot twists and surprises.  That is why it is hard to put her books down.  By the end of the story, you know all the characters well and will miss them.  I have loved all McConaghy’s writing and particularity her use of nature themes.  Her books are food for thought on many levels.  Wild Dark Shores is a worthwhile read that will haunt you long after you finish reading. 

New York, New York – Part 1

by sssmahh303, posted in Lifestyle

Mary Ann

I had the privilege of working in New York City for the last 11 years of my career.   It was an unexpected gift in this twilight time of life.   However, coming from Columbia, SC to the Big Apple was a 180-degree change and the learning curve was straight up.   I would like to share some of my adventures working in fascinating New York City.  Maybe I should have called this blog – Sixty in the City.  It was definitely not Sex in the City.

Besides the high energy of the Big Apple, there are funny little things that seem to only happen there.  I came to work one day and noticed a big, inflated mouse in front of a neighboring building. I went into school and asked why the big mouse was outside.  I wondered if an exterminator was advertising their company.  At that moment, everyone broke out laughing.  The mouse was really a rat, and it was to let everyone know that the landlord of a particular building was a bad guy, a rat!  Well, I must say that is a clever way to let the world know.  Often you will find a rat in a pickup truck parked in front of the offending property for a quick getaway.  That way a rat can show up at any time anywhere.  There are a lot of rats in NYC both fugitively and literally!   

When someone climbs a mountain, a flag is often left to say that the person was there.  In New York City, a flag is raised on the top of a building when the construction crew has reached the summit of the structure.  It proclaims they have reached the top and are not going any further with construction.  The skyscrapers are the city’s mountains.  The construction crews are the mountain climbers. The flag says it all.

I lived in Jersey City and came to work on the PATH each day.  The PATH is a subway train that goes under the Hudson River delivering people at various stops as it goes north in Manhattan.  At times riding the PATH can be like riding a Disney World ride as it flew under the river.  You had to hang on.  Most of the time, we were packed in the cars, so you swayed as a group.  I did notice that each Christmas there was a little lighted Christmas tree about halfway between Jersey City and New York City.  People are so into their own worlds scrolling on their phones or reading or listening to music that I wondered if anyone even noticed.  I imagined some big, burly PATH worker putting up the little tree with twinkling white lights trying to spread a little Christmas cheer.  Maybe no one else noticed it, but I did.  For the month of December, it brought a little joy on my way to work and home again.  Thank you, Mr. Burly PATH Guy! 

New York is a city full of scaffolding.  Building were always getting repairs or whatever. I wished I owned the scaffolding company – big bucks!   There are cranes everywhere.  The skyline looks like a zoo of bobbing birds perched atop of the skyscrapers.  Things going up and down constantly on the cranes.  There are roads that seem to be never done.  I guess you notice it more because everything is concentrated in a small area.  

Yet all this concrete and steel is balanced out with flower stalls on most corners, fruit stands in the warmer months, and little patches of green tucked away throughout the city. There is a surprise around every corner.  You must seek and find the beauty.  I hope to share more of NYC with you in future blogs.

Reach Out and Touch Someone

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

One of my favorite people is a vivacious friend who is always upbeat. She sets the bar for checking in with her friends. She is one of the few people who continued to foster our friendship during the six years I was sequestered, taking care of my mother. Karen called at least once every week.  The call may not have been more than a few minutes. Still, it was enough to let me know she was thinking of me and wishing me well.

Admittedly, I was not as good in the past. While friends and family were always in my heart and thoughts, I did not take the time to let them know. Several years ago, however, I resolved to do so. Even as a professional, I took time to write short notes to people. Handwritten notes are so rare these days that upon receiving one a person knows s/he is important. My staff appreciated the time I took, but more importantly that I noticed something they did.

Another friend sends greeting cards through the US Postal Service.  I would receive a card for every occasion, with a simple signature, “Love, Shelley.” My mother also liked to send greeting cards to family and friends. While the effort became too much for her, I would address the envelopes, write a sentiment if she wanted, and let her sign. This small act gave her joy and let her friends know she still thought fondly of them.

Written notes, while appreciated, are not required. Social media has given us the opportunity to reach out to friends and family in multiple ways. Posting on Facebook, Instagram, or X (formerly known as Twitter) is a quick and easy way to let others know what you have been doing. An email or text message is more personal as it is directed at specific people, so you can interact with others.

The importance of contact, no matter how short, cannot be denied. One never knows what kind of day your friend or family member is having. At times a brief hello can become the most valued event of a person’s day.

Of course, staying in touch takes time. Try scheduling fifteen or twenty minutes a day specifically for contacting someone you care about. A quick text message saying “how are you today?” or just a GIF or emoji could mean the world to someone.  A “hello – thinking of you” with a heart icon tells someone you care.

More mature (translate, older) people enjoy a good old-fashioned telephone call. And while cellular service end-to-end is not as clear as traditional telephone lines, a quick call can still lift spirits and put a smile on the recipient’s face – and yours.

Think about someone you care for and then reach out to them, today. The time it takes is nothing compared to the breath of fresh air you will feel.

Pinball Wizard

by sssmahh303, posted in Wellness

Mary Ann

Have you ever walked into a room to do something and when you begin working on whatever it is, you see something else that needs to be done?  You stop what you are doing and begin working on that. You again see something else that needs fixing, and you stop that and go to the new project.  I do this all the time and started to call it binging.  I am kind of a pinball bouncing from task to task.  I find it relaxing, and at the end of the morning everything is all done. 

I guess it is a type of ADHD or maybe I am just a super multi-tasker.  I have asked other friends if they do this – binging!  Some do and some do not.  It may have to do with our thinking styles.  People are either global thinkers who see the big picture and the interconnectedness, or they are analytical thinker who break down information to smaller bits for understanding. Global thinkers see everything from many directions. Where analytical thinkers are sequential.  There is no right or wrong.  It is your style.  Guess what?  I am a global thinker.  I see the whole shebang, and I want to get it all done at once.  

For me, this is not just an indoor exercise.  When I am gardening, I am all over the yard, binging my heart out. I am planting flowers then I am trimming bushes.  I am watering and digging holes then it is back to planting the flowers and watering.  However, by the end of the day, I have accomplished all my garden chores. In the end, the journey may not be as important as the destination – a clean house, a tidy garden.  

I didn’t seem to do this at work or at least I didn’t think I did.  I had to be discipline and get things done in an orderly fashion.  This took more energy to accomplish.  Where binging gave me energy, again I found it relaxing.

When discussing this with a friend, she called me a Pinball Wizard.  I guess that is what I am.  My style is my superpower even if it only for me.  If you identify with me, maybe you are also a Pinball Wizard.  We may have to create an association or at least a support group!  I bet we would discuss a variety of subjects from all over the place but in the end, we would have it all done, tied up with a bow!  Pinball Wizards Unite!!

New Year’s Resolutions. What?!

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

Here we are. Half-way through the “new” year, already! It seems like quite some time ago we were ringing in 2025 and resolving to reach goals. How are your goals coming along?

I know. Life gets in the way of achieving our goals, objectives, and ToDo Lists. At times, we even forget we defined goals six months ago. Consider this is a gentle reminder to check in. What did you resolve in January to accomplish this year?  Did you set timelines or were your items open ended?

For me, goal setting is as much about planning as it is achieving something dramatic.  I even attended a planning workshop in January to learn more about setting and achieving my objectives. Yet it seems the more time I have on my hands, the less I am able to accomplish. Isn’t it easy to say, “I have plenty of time. I can do that tomorrow.”?

My system is simple. At the front of my paper planner (to which I refer daily), are two pages dedicated to listing goals. I have labeled each section by month, allowing me to “chunk” my huge list. Chunking simply is the act of separating tasks into doable and achievable portions. Looking at each month’s smaller list is not so overwhelming as looking at a long list for the year.  In my mind, that doesn’t mean I necessarily have to complete those items in the month in which it is written, but it is easier to take on a project when it looks smaller.

Upon completion of an item on my list, I place a checkmark to it’s left. When the entire chunk (in this case a month’s worth) is complete, a “good-for-me” sticker is added. A quick glance at the spread points me to the next task to accomplish.

Another tool that helps is telling someone what I intend to attain. Both acts of writing down the goals and of telling another person provide a small level of accountability.

If you made New Year’s Resolutions, half-way through the year is a great time to revisit them. Adjust if necessary. Sometimes, what we thought was important in January is no longer relevant. By the same token, new needs may have arisen. Now is the perfect time to pat yourself on the back for what you have completed. And, rather than beating yourself up for not working towards the other items on your list, start anew towards those things that you still want to realize.

The Briar Club

by Cynthia, posted in Reviews

Historical fiction has always fascinated me. So much of it is set in the World War II era, but I recently ran across this delightful book by Kate Quinn, a best-selling American author. Previously I had read The Alice Network and The Diamond Eye, so I knew her book would be well written.

The Briar Club is a delightful story of the Briarwood boarding house full of women, each one different from the others; each with her own story or secret. The book is set in early 1950s America encompassing the McCarthy era and the Cold War.

Quinn introduces many characters, yet the stories center on the occupants of the house. The landlady, Mrs. Nilsson, is a crotchety women who seems to be mad at the world. She borders abusive to her children Pete and Lina.

Borders include Grace March, a lovely, energetic, fun-loving woman who engages the other ladies and begins to build a community within the house. Other boards you will be delighted to meet are Arlene, Claire, Felicity and her daughter Angela, Reka, and Nora. Each lady’s life will fill your emotional well – some with laughter, some with angst.

While to stories of these women’s lives are intriguing the reader also gets a glimpse into life for single women in the 1950s. Quinn weaves history delicately throughout the pages pulling the reader into the boarding house as more than an observer.

This book had multiple themes, the most obvious being female friendship. Yet in reflection it included missives on finding your voice and coming of age. Quinn addresses post-partum depression, domestic abuse and dysfunctional families. Economics and politics found their way into the story line. This book is jammed full of issues that culminate finally into the one most important lesson of life. Accept others as they are and where they are. You may not know their back story.

I recommend The Briar Club to anyone who enjoys reading fiction and wants a realistic picture of Washington D.C. in mid-20th century America.

Selecting a Travel Partner

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

Have you ever heard someone say, “if you can travel with a person, you can live with them”? I suppose the adage comes from experience.  My cousin and I have traveled together for twenty years. And both of us would admit that we would not want to live with each other. We are as different as night and day.  That said, we have found traveling together mostly delightful – and when it is not, we have found ways to cope.

In thinking about our trips, both domestic and international, I wondered whether I should begin looking for someone who is more compatible.  A review of suggestions for a good travel companion yielded qualities that both of us display, for the most part. Let me share what I have learned.

Shared Interests and Open-Mindedness. When planning a trip, someone with interests similar to yours gives you peace of mind. While there may be some compromise in activities, the experience will be richer if you are able to see the sites you want to see.  You may want to be willing to try something new or a little different than you usually try, making your trip more fulfilling.

Expectations and Communication. One of the best ways to ensure you will both have a great time is to see expectations in advance. On a road trip, for example, how long will you drive each day? Do you like to get to your destination quickly or find your way organically? What criteria do you have for lodging? Are you a Motel 6 traveler or do you prefer a Hilton property? Are you a fast-food junkie or do you prefer a sit-down meal at a nicer restaurant? Have you defined a budget set for entertainment and amusement? These and other visions of the ideal trip should be discussed during planning to avoid conflict as the trip progresses. And during the trip if concerns arise, discuss them right away.

Adaptability. Even with the best laid plans, things happen. You and your companion will want to be able to adjust to unexpected changes. Be positive and select a travel partner who can roll with the punches.  A good sense of humor goes a long way to lighten the mood in difficult situations.

Avoid People Who Go To Extremes. This should be common sense.  On flitterfever.com I read an interesting and relevant suggestion. Ask your potential travel buddy their opinion on controversial issues such as the President, vaccinations, conspiracy theories, etc. If you cannot agree to disagree or avoid touchy subjects such as these, you might want to select someone else with whom to travel.

The whole point, obviously, is you want to relax and enjoy your adventure. Choosing a compatible travel companion is Step 1 in making happily memorable experiences. Enjoy!

When the Caregiver Takes a Break

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

During my caregiving years, people consistently reminded me to take care of myself – to give myself a break. While I knew my friends and family meant well by nudging me, I felt relatively certain they had no idea what my “taking a break” entailed. Much preparation goes into leaving for a few days. You are not just packing for yourself.

I created a “Caring for Mom” notebook with tabs for each category of information one would need to stay with my mother in my home. Once the notebook was complete, I could update it easily when something changed. Using a three-ring binder and creating the documents in Microsoft Word and Excel made updating information easy.

Sections included the “legal” documents which included her DNR, Advanced Directive, Power of Attorney, and Last Will and Testament; General Notes; Exercises; Daily/Weekly Checklists; and Medical. The tabbed sections were behind the page full of emergency and non-emergency phone numbers.

Another tool I used to help others help me was my trusty little label maker.  I labeled pantry shelves, kitchen drawers, tableware, and mom’s supplies. I even put labels on the knife blocks to remind helpers to hand wash the knives! I have to chuckle. My kitchen, bathrooms, laundry room, and mom’s bedroom and sitting room all reminded me of a church kitchen where everything is neatly identified.

Several meals and meal kits were prepared; the freezer and pantry stocked with carefully packed and labeled foods. Instructions for using the Keurig were taped to the beverage bar. Although mom was not a huge fan of “take out” there were a few restaurants she enjoyed. My computer browser stored the passwords and credit card for those, along with Shipt and Instacart access, so the helper could easily place an order for delivery.

I worked with health care providers to ensure there were enough medications to last through a few days after my return. Pill planners were filled for the entire time I was away. Extra supplies of disposable underwear, toilet paper, paper towels, disinfectant wipes, etc. were stocked.

Mom’s clothes were washed, ironed (where necessary), and hung by “outfits” in her closet. Instructions for washing sheets and clothes were taped to the inside cabinet door above the washer. How to set the dryer was also posted.

Much as packing diapers and formula and several changes of clothes are packed for a small child, every detail had to be covered. Even though I believed I had left nothing wanting, I would still receive daily calls – sometimes multiple calls in a day – asking where something was or what to do about “x”.  Getting away was physical but not disconnected. (What did we do before mobile phones?!)

Prepping for a “vacation” when caregiving reminded me of preparing to be away from my full-time job. It took a week or two to prepare to be gone. Upon return, it took a week or two to catch up. Sometimes I wondered if the time off was worth the effort. Of course, having a break is necessary for rejuvenation and mental health.

Should you find yourself in a caregiving mode I hope my experience will help guide you in preparing to give yourself a break. Even if you do not have the responsibility of another person, some of these tips may be helpful to others who at some point may come take care of you.

Make Every Bite Count

by Cynthia, posted in Wellness

Several months ago I began working with a dietitian. My goal was not to lose weight, as it is for most people.  I feel pretty good about my weight, although I wouldn’t mind losing some “rolls” around the middle!  One would think as a vegetarian I have a healthy diet.  Yet, being diagnosed with high cholesterol (for the past 30 years!) and high triglycerides, and not feeling good about the pharmaceuticals to “control” those numbers, I began to look more closely at what I eat. I have always believed the old saying “you are what you eat.”

My dietician prepared a plan for me that, had I known, I could have done on my own. Granted, she has a lot of great tips, which I appreciate.  She gives me a lot to think about.  Being highly motivated, I don’t need her as a crutch or coach, but it is nice to check in once a month and ask questions.

It turns out, the plan she put together is free online from the Food and Nutrition Service of the U.S. Department of Agriculture.  Click the link https://www.myplate.gov/myplate-plan to get started. Answering just a few questions will yield a MyPlate Plan for your needs.

The MyPlate Plan makes it easy to follow a healthy diet for yourself by giving easy-to-follow guidelines for “measuring” food and intake.  Unlike dieting plans that expect you to weigh and measure food, this plan gives you equivalents.  For example, my plan includes five-ounce equivalents of protein each day.  One ounce of protein could be seafood, lean meats, poultry; or one egg; or one tablespoon of peanut butter; or ¼ cup cooked beans, peas, or lentils; or ½ ounce unsalted nuts or seeds.

The other categories are equally easy to follow: fruits, vegetables, grains, and dairy. The website includes information about each food group, and it provides recipes for various cuisines. As for the dairy, while I enjoy cheese, it is high in cholesterol, and I have never been a milk drinker.  My dairy can be fortified soy milk, non-fat Greek yogurt, and some hard cheese (usually white, as the white cheeses generally use vegetable enzymes rather than rennet).

The plan also helps me limit my sugar, saturated fat, and sodium by listing how much is allowed each day. I print out the colorful charts, one for each day, and post them on the side of my refrigerator which reminds me to record what I put into my mouth.

Reading this, you may say, “Wow. That is a lot of work!” It’s not as bad as you would think. My experience is that this method makes following a healthy diet extra easy.  I don’t have to count calories. I don’t have to measure food (you can estimate what constitutes a ½ cup or a ¼ cup). And when I jot down what I have eaten and have met the recommended amount of a category for the day, I get to check off “Yes. I reached my target.”

The best part for me, though, is when I think about a snack, I can check my plan and see what is missing for the day. Instead of sugary candy and cookies, I might reach for the peanut butter and a chopped apple on a rice cake. It’s filling, satisfying, tasty, and healthy. Then I can pat myself on the back. I’ve made every bite count!

Bullet Journals

by sssmahh303, posted in Taking Care of Business

Mary Ann

I was given a Bullet Journal by a friend, and if you haven’t heard about them, the Bujos are an interesting way to organize your life or at least part of your life.  I don’t know about you, but I am forever collecting pieces of papers with information that I might need.  It can be a tear sheet, a Post-it note, a flier, or a booklet about a kitchen gadget. My phone photos are full of screen shots, my electronic version of my ever-increasing stash of info.   A Bullet Journal seemed to be the answer to get a handle on the paper. 

Bullet Journals are quite simple to do.  You can buy beautiful Bujos online, several with starter kits.  However, all you really need is a notebook and pen. There are instructional video if you need more help.  Just Google it.  After you get the notebook, you will make an index of the topics you wish to include with page numbers where the information is found in the journal, and the rest of the journal are the numbered pages of information.  I started with a pile of paper and began organizing them into topics.  I listed the subjects and began a section in the book about that topic.  I numbered the pages leaving a few extra pages for future entries.  The page numbers are then listed by the topic in the index.  

There are advanced uses of Bulletin Journals.  I have not graduated to them yet.  Bujos can be logs for future planning and goals or a reflection log of past work, brain dumps capturing your ideas, habit tracking, and pretty much whatever you want it to be. I looked at several posts online about Bujos, and they pretty much said the same thing.  (Pinterest has many examples.)  They all use signifiers which are symbols to categorize the info.  It is as simple as a bullet point or a dash. You can make the signifiers whatever you want. 

Get creative and use stickers to highlight different sections or colored pencils to differentiate the topics.  Cynthia is the queen of stickers and colored pencils, pens, and markers.  She has organized all her stickers and highlights her planners and calendars with them. They are works of art.  Sometimes, I glue a clipping or clothing tag in the Bojo.  However, I try not to make the book bulky.  

At first, I was pretty good at putting materials in the Bullet Journal. Then, I became lazy resulting in a paper log jam.  I did put all the papers in a small box, so it is ready to go.  I just need to add the new info while I am watching TV or whatever.  This is not hard.  Then I can make confetti gleefully tearing up all the odds and ends of paper.  Of course, I will recycle.  I will then have a go-to place when I am trying to find the name of that wonderful plumber everyone raving about.  

I would suggest keeping on top of all the paper, so it doesn’t become a landslide.  Bulletin Journals are an excellent answer to organizing information.  You can use Bujos for several purposes, so the sky is the limit for your ideas. You just need to begin!