Gifts

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

What constitutes a gift? I guess I have never really thought about it.  I love giving people items I think they would enjoy. I enjoy doing things for others. Some would say my gifting is my Love Language. Lately, I have begun to rethink gifting.

My grands, nieces, and nephews, are all adults now in their twenties and thirties and some even older. Most of them have good jobs and are independent. They can purchase the things they want or need.  I find it challenging to select something they will want, appreciate, and use.  Anymore, when I ask them they reply “you don’t need to get me anything.”  While that is very sweet, they fail to understand that it makes me happy to give them something on their birthdays or other special occasions.

My granddaughter will turn 25 this month. I appreciate that she tells me what she would like – much of the time.  This year she told me – “money.”  She has recently moved out of her parents’ home, so money is tighter than before. She is learning that adulting is hard.  My sweet little girl no longer wants pink and frilly things. She wants to build up her savings account, so she won’t worry about having enough to pay her bills.  I appreciate her resolve.

Gucci credit cards, $100 bill stacks, gold coins, and Tiffany & Co. checks on white satin.

I have resorted to gift cards for non-gift-giving holidays. Target gift cards for St. Patrick’s Day, grocery store gift cards for Easter, gasoline gift cards for Independence Day, etc.  Basically, things that help with day-to-day expenses.

Money just doesn’t seem like a very good gift. I need to rethink my position on gift giving. As I recall, my maternal grandmother always sent me a check for $5 with a greeting card signed Maureen. In fact, it wasn’t until later years that she started signing cards Grandmother Maureen. I loved her dearly and held her in the highest regard, even though it was hard for her to be a grandmother. She was more of a mentor to me. We got along wonderfully (opposed to most of my cousins!). Thinking about the cards and the checks, I suppose I enjoyed getting money from my grandmother. Mostly I appreciated that she thought about me on my birthday.

I sent checks to my nieces for a while, but it seems they would not cash the checks. I found that odd since it is easy to deposit a check with one’s smart phone – I’ve done it for years, so I imagined the younger people have done it longer. Each year I would ask them if they got the check because I noted it had not cleared my account.  Now, they get Amazon e-gift cards. Interestingly, they apparently appreciate those more than cash. (We truly are becoming a cashless society, are we not?).

All-in-all, I suppose giving a give rests more in intent than in substance. So I will go to the ATM, or write checks, or send e-gift cards. Easy for me; beneficial for the recipients.  After all, it is the thought that counts!

Down 7, Up 8

by sssmahh303, posted in Wellness

Mary Ann

A few months ago, I found this Japanese proverb – Down 7, Up 8, and I thought it summed up what life is all about.  My mother always said, “Life is Hard, “and indeed she was right.  Life in one way or another is always knocking you down, and you learn early on that you must get yourself back up.  Look at a toddler.  They fall down all the time, and they for the most part (even after tears) bounce back up.  

We must be resilient to survive.  Ask any cave man!  Our downs in life are not saber tooth tigers, but they can be just as dangerous.  There are many losses in life.  Divorce or any breakup with a friend or lover can be overwhelming.  Chronic illnesses or a death of a love one can tragically break your heart.  Watching your children suffer in any way is like having the same suffering yourself.  The loss of a job or a financial crisis can be devastating. There are always challenges in life, and we must accept and adapt to them.  We must be resilience.

Resilience is defined as the ability to mentally or emotionally cope with a crisis or return to pre-crisis status quickly.  I have been down and out many times in my life for one reason or another, and I am sure you have been there as well.  Sometimes it was very hard to get back up, but really there was no other choice but just do it!   You must adapt to handle the situation, and hopefully, the challenges will help you grow stronger, so you are ready for whatever is next. 

I strongly believe that most problems have a solution if we put the time and energy into solving them. That is resilience in action.  Look how resilience the natural world is.  Nature is always teaching us lessons to live by.  After devastating wildfires, tiny green shoots fight their way through the ashes to survive. We need to fight our way upwards again as well.

For thousands of years, humans have been falling down and getting back up.  I guess it is part of the human condition, and we humans have documented it with the written word in proverbs, sayings, and quotes.  The ancient Japanese culture captured the essence of resilience in just a few words. – down and up.  In ending, there is another quote that I also thinks captures the meaning of resilience – If you are going through hell, keep going.  I can identify with that.  I am sure you can too. 

A Taxing Time

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business, Uncategorized

I never worried much about paying taxes when I was working – the payroll department took care of the deductions from my salary before I saw the net. Now that I am retired, I find that my social security income puts me into a “next” tax bracket, thus requiring me to pay quarterly taxes. Still, the time has come to “pony up” as they say, and I still have to write a check to Uncle Sam. Even with the working senior tax break, it seems I don’t qualify.  Interestingly, I make less than when I was working, but seem to pay higher taxes. It’s frustrating.

Contributing to a tax system is often viewed as a burden, but it can be reframed as a profound expression of social membership and a “subscription fee” for a functional civilization. When we pay taxes, we are essentially investing in the collective stability and infrastructure that allow individual success to flourish in the first place. From the roads that connect our commerce to the legal systems that protect our property and rights, taxes represent our shared stake in a society that is larger and more resilient than any one person could maintain alone.

Stressed person reviewing tax forms and receipts using a calculator at a kitchen table.

Furthermore, the ability to pay taxes is often a direct reflection of personal economic agency and the privilege of opportunity. In a well-structured society, the obligation to contribute typically rises with one’s level of financial security, meaning that a tax bill is frequently a byproduct of having accessed a thriving market, a quality education, or a safe environment. Recognizing this link transforms the act of filing from a chore into an acknowledgment of the structural advantages—such as public safety, research and development, and stable governance—that provided the ladder for one’s own achievements.

Ultimately, taxes serve as the primary mechanism for fostering the “common good” and ensuring a baseline of dignity for all citizens. They fund the schools that educate the next generation, the parks that provide communal beauty, and the social safety nets that catch the vulnerable during times of crisis. To pay into this system is to participate in a silent, cross-generational pact: we benefit from the investments made by those who came before us, and in turn, our contributions build the foundation for those who will follow. In this light, paying taxes is less about what is being taken away and more about what we are choosing to build together.

We all like to grumble periodically about the voluntary taxes we pay. (Voluntary has always seemed a misnomer to me – but that is for another time). Admittedly, when I drive from state-to-state, or see our military men and women, or visit a National Park, my heart swells with pride.  I am proud to be an American – a Native American, at that. So I am grateful for the opportunity to pay my fair share to support the greater good.

Aging

by sssmahh303, posted in Reviews

Mary Ann

When I was in 9th grade, we read Shakespeare’s As You Like It.  We had to recite the famous speech, All the World’s A Stage, in front of the class.  It was a piece that took an individual through the various stages of life comparing it to a play.  For the most part, I didn’t get it.  If you hadn’t lived a particular stage, you couldn’t identify with it.  And what in the world did sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything mean? 

Well, as one ages, the various stages begin to make sense, and now, that I am in the final stage of the speech, I know what sans, French for without, means and indeed it is true. I always thought that there should be a T-shirt that says, “Aging is Not for Sissies.”  You must be tough to grow old.  There is a challenge around every corner, a surprise just awaiting you.

Aging is full of aches and pains.  You discover body parts you didn’t know existed.  You develop health conditions like hypertension, cholesterol, or diabetes. Your body does not want to do what your head tells it to do.  You can’t open the peanut butter jar.  It is hard to go up the steps or getting out of a chair.  You can’t see as well as when you were young.  You can’t hear either, so you say what a lot. You forget names, and words just sit on the tip of your tongue. There are lots of thingmajigs or whatchacallits in your vocabulary now.  You have many senior moments.  The list could go on and on, and it keeps growing with the passing years.  Mark Nepo has said, “The terrain of aging is steeper the longer we go.”  Amen!  

As challenging as aging is, there are many good things that can only be acquired with growing older.  There are lessons to be learned with the passage of time.  With aging you gain wisdom and experience.  Life is always teaching you a lesson.  You gain understanding and patience from those lessons.  You grow to appreciate stillness and the peace that it brings.  You begin to understand that taking the time to smell the roses is what life is all about.  You embrace the life you have and live acceptance.  You discover your inner light and let it shine.

We know that change is inevitable.  It is one thing that you can count on.  Yet, it is still hard to embrace as you grow older. The changing is getting us ready for the final journey whatever it will be.  Again, I quote poet Mark Nepo whose beautiful words explains the coming adventure.  “It’s as if my body is a nest and my soul is a bird who has waited a lifetime for the moment it can fly away.”  Aging prepares us for that final flight.

I wrote this essay for the journaling group that I recently joined.  The topic was aging, and I based some of it on the work of Mark Nepo.  He is a poet and spiritual writer who I just discovered.  His prose is lyrical and so deep that you pause after many of his sentences to ponder the wisdom that Nepo imparts.  His most recent work is The Fifth Season, Creativity in the Second Half of Life.  Nepo is now in his seventies, and this book echoes his many years of a reflective life.  My friend Lisa and I read the book as part of our nonfiction book club.  After the first section, we decided to do a slow read of this book.  Each section has four or five chapters that each end with a journal prompt and a discussion question about the reading.  This was a great jumping off point for Lisa and me to discuss the reading. We decided to read one section a week and then take a second week to reflect on what we read.  That is how rich the readings were.  I took notes throughout the various sections, and we reviewed our thoughts when we finished the book.  I don’t believe I have ever put that much energy into reading a book.  However, it was worth every minute.  Since both Nepo and I are in our fifth season, I could recognize myself throughout the book.  We are all traveling on the same path but in our own unique way.  I am thankful I got to join him on his. 

Lisa and I would highly recommend this book, but it is not a quick read even though the book is only 200 pages.   You need to take your time and digest Nepo’s beautiful words.  It is nourishment for the soul. It is a book to return to again and again gaining insights into one’s inner life.  I am also reading Nepo’s bestselling book, The Book of Awakening, that is a year’s worth of daily readings.  He wrote it 20 years ago, and it is still very relevant.  Many people read it year after year.  I think I will too.  Each day is ended with mediations to reflect upon the wise words Nepo shares.  If you would like to hear more about Mark Nepo and his books listen to Mel Robbins’ Podcast from November 16, 2025 – The Exact Words You Need to Hear Today If It Feels like Nothing’s Working.  Mel is a big fan of Mark.  I hope that you will join his fan club along with me!  

Happy Easter

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

Growing up, my family attended a Disciples of Christ, First Christian Church. As with many Christian churches, the Holy Week was a time of deep reflection and spiritual renewal – fitting as the religious holiday falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal (Spring) equinox, i.e. first day of Spring. This determination was established by the Council of Nicaea in 325 AD. The date of Easter fluctuates but will fall on a Sunday between March 22 and April 25.

The formula was designed so that Easter usually falls after the holiday of Passover.  The Lenten season begins with Ash Wednesday which is calculated by counting back 46 days from Easter, allowing for the traditional 40 days of fasting and six Sundays. Interestingly, the word Easter appears only in one verse in Acts in the King James version of the New Testament and is considered by Biblical scholars as a mistranslation of the Hebrew word for Passover. Early Christians celebrated Jewish holidays, albeit with a new determination.

Still, Easter has come to be a remembrance of the birth and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Some argue that the name Easter is derived from the pagan celebration of the goddess of rebirth, Eostre, around the spring equinox. Our use of eggs and bunnies reflect this theme of spring and birth. Regardless of its origins, Christians have for centuries adopted Easter as a significant milestone in their spiritual calendar.

Although my religious upbringing did not emphasize Lent as do other traditions, we did spend a lot of time at church during Holy Week, beginning with Palm Sunday. I recall the children marching down the aisles waving palm branches and singing hosanna. Even today, the memory stirs something deep in my soul. It brings to life the difference a week can make – from the throngs following Jesus and cheering to the brutal assassination five days later.

I recall how various church members faithfully prayed around the clock, each person taking their turn to keep prayer going from the Maundy Thursday service through Good Friday, sunrise services, and the “official” Easter morning service.  It was a time of “coming together” for the greater good.

These memories seem to be flooding my mind this year.  Maybe because of one of my 2026 goals – to read the entire Bible in a year. Yes, I have read the Bible before, but I’ve never made a concerted effort to read it within a year’s timeframe. Maybe it is because as I grow older and my family is off living their own lives, I am calling upon other forms of solace. Maybe I am looking for a level of calm and integrity. Maybe it is simply a full circle moment.  Regardless, I wish for you a lovely spring, peace, and deviled eggs and chocolate bunnies.

Author’s Note: While I share my religious memories here, please know that this reflection is just that – thoughts of my study and my upbringing. I have studied several other religions and respect both the teachings of each and the individual’s choice to follow another … or none at all.

Saying Goodbye to The Greatest Generation

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

I have been extremely fortunate to enjoy a close-knit family. Special relationships with aunts and uncles and cousins have enhanced the quality of my life. As I age, so do they, until unfortunately, their lives on this earth come to an end. Maybe it is the longevity in my family that makes it all the more difficult. I have come to expect they will be there when I call – that the card I sent will be read.

This month would have marked the 100th birthday of my Uncle Bob. He served in the Navy during World War II. He was on the SS Yorktown. After the war he owned a flower shop and a department store in a small town in mid-America. Then he and his wife, my mother’s twin sister, moved to the city where my parents lived. When I visited my parents, I would also visit my aunt and uncle.  Upon retirement, my cousin moved from California to North Carolina – and took her parents with her.

My sister and I visited last September and were overjoyed to be able to spend time with them. Uncle Bob was especially thrilled to see us. We laughed and talked and met his new friends in the retirement village where they lived. When we left, Uncle Bob followed us all the way around the building on his scooter, just so he could say goodbye one more time. The reunion was delightful and filled our souls.

On the occasion of his birthday, there was no question that we would attend a celebration of his 100 years. However, he passed away peacefully just two weeks short of that birthday. The party we attended turned out to be a Celebration of Life after a funeral service that rightly honored a remarkable man.

He found joy in so many areas of his life.  Steve Hartman of CBS Sunday Morning even did an expose’ on him and two young boys who learned of his time on the Yorktown. They began corresponding with Mr. Harding and eventually the three of them were able to meet in person. That began a friendship that lasted twelve years. The young people last visited him soon after my sister and I left North Carolina. Another blessing for his long and prosperous life.

No, he was not wealthy – at least not in the way we often define wealth. But his life was rich with experiences and full of love. He loved God, his country, and his family and friends. He smiled easily, laughed heartily, and spread happiness everywhere he went.

At 96, my aunt mourns his passing. Yet she is doing well, knowing he is in “a better place” and no longer struggling as he did the final two months.  She knows when the time comes, she will rejoin her husband of 77 years.

While I am quite sad at the loss of my loved-ones’ lives, I am grateful for the tremendous love I have enjoyed over the years.

Merit Badges

by sssmahh303, posted in Wellness

Mary Ann

I imagine when you were young that you were a member of the Cub Scouts or the Brownies.  As you grew, you then became a Boy or Girl Scout.   During those years, you earned Merit Badges in areas that you wanted to learn new skills or to develop a new interests.  I often wondered what would happen if we could still earn merit badges into adulthood.  What would that look like?

There would probably be badges for good parenting or kindness.  You might earn one for excelling with finances or cooking. The possibilities are endless.   I wonder if we would wear them with coordinating sashes to match our outfits or attach them to our computer cases.  People would be bragging about their earned badges on social media.  There might be reality shows with competitions to win them.  Maybe earning badges would change the world for the better because you must be a good person to receive one.

So, what does it mean to be a good person?  I think a good person is a kind person and a kind person is a good person.  Kindness is the quality of a person who is friendly, generous, considerate, caring for others and oneself, empathetic, courageous, uplifting, and a strong desire to make things better without reward. If you live those qualities – walk your talk – you are a good person.

Now, if we had grown-up merit badges, there would have to be a list of requirements to earn it, just like scouts do.   Let’s look at some possible badges to see what we would have to do to achieve it. 

Good People for People Badge –

SMILE

Donate to Charities

Volunteer

Do Small Kindnesses for Others (like holding a door for someone)

Feed People

Help Children and the Elderly

Good People for the Earth – 

Support Clean Air for all

Support Clean Water for all

Protect Endangered Animals

Drive Electric Cars

Use Alternative Energy – Wind, Water, and Solar

Recycle Everything 

Eliminate Land Fill and Floating Ocean Trash

Love Your Country by caring for it

Good People for Yourself – 

Exercise

Eat a Balanced Diet

Hydrate – 8 Classes a Day

Practice Meditation and Mindfulness

Socialize 

Be a Life-Long Learner

All the requirements are good things for all people. It is being kind to everyone, the Earth, and yourself.   I think this could incent individuals to be better people for the best possible world.  We really don’t need merit badges, but if that would help to encourage people, let’s go for it now!

Note – There is an actual company that makes merit badges for adults. Winks for Days (winksfordays.com) has an array of badges for every big girl and big boy to show-off their accomplishments.  The badges are $10, and they created pins as well.  Do you need a badge for flossing or taking your vitamins or watering  your plants?  Winks has them and many more.  Check it out.   

Keeping Track

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

Do you have multiple health care professionals with whom you work? While I am healthy overall, I find that I am juggling physical therapy, nutrition, and various medical appointments. Of course I have a calendar, but it seems pertinent to keep track of who I have seen, when, and the resulting action.

For example, I have been experiencing increasing lower back pain. So much so that my doctor ordered an x-ray and then an MRI.  Looking back at my records, I was reminded that I had an x-ray and MRI on my back two years ago.  I was thinking it would make sense to get a comparative analysis of the two, to see if my situation has worsened or remained the same. My doctor had not recognized the history.

I have always said that you need to take control of your own health. We live in a world where we expect doctors to know our issues and take care of us. We sometimes fail to remember they have other patients – many other patients. And doctors are human. They can miss findings or simply are too busy to scan past entries in our charts.  To be honest, I don’t even remember everything I have had tested, poked, or prodded.

I started keeping a file for each “issue”.  I list the date, the attending physician or medical professional, the purpose, and the result. I have found this history helpful when reviewing treatment.

Many years ago, 1996 to be precise, congress passed the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). The primary purpose was to give patients access to their health records and allow patients to have control of who sees their health information. Standards were set for security and privacy. One provision, which has yet to be implemented by all facilities, was to develop a standard for reporting to offer better care for the patient. That is, each provider would use a system that could be available to other providers.  Some of the bigger health care systems have enabled that feature, usually through a patient portal. Yet we still have a long way to go.

Such a system would be a challenge to implement, but in my humble opinion it could advance health care significantly. Health care providers could have the “whole picture” of a patient’s health. I am hopeful that such a system will be devised in my grandchildren’s lifetime.

Meanwhile, I will keep my lists and drag them to the doctor’s office in the off-chance that I get more than ten minutes with her. 

Joyspan

by sssmahh303, posted in Reviews

Mary Ann

As you know, the Silver Sage Sisters have written frequently about life in retirement and growing older.  We have tried to share with you good books and ideas to help you ease into this chapter of your lives. I have recently come across a book that I think you would like.  It is Joyspan – The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half and is written by Dr. Kerry Burnight who is known as America’s Gerontologist.  She believes in optimizing dignity, health, and joy with aging.  

Burnight defines joyspan as the experience of well-being and satisfaction in longevity.  She states further that joyspan requires knowledge, intention, and effort and is achievable regardless of where you are starting out today.  Thriving in old age means to live a fulfilling, purposeful, and satisfying life despite the challenges that accompany aging. You must maximize physical health, cognitive function, emotional well-being, social connections, and sense of meaning.  

In Joyspan Burnight determined four essential elements about aging that include the following:

  1. Grow: Continue to explore and expand
  2. Connect:  Put time into new and existing relationships
  3. Adapt: Adjust to changing and challenging situation
  4. Give: Share themselves

As you grow through the second half of your life, focusing on these four tenants will help you find meaning.  The book goes into great detail about all of them.  There are excellent surveys to help you determine where you are with them and great examples of each in action.  

Joyspan is written by a gerontologist who understands aging, not just the medical aspect.  Dr. Burnight does not dismiss you because you are older.  She respects you and that is often rare in the medical field.  It is a special doctor who takes time to listen to you and is willing to work with you.  Aging is a partnership between the doctors and the patients.

As you know, my friend Lisa and I have had a non-fiction book club for the last six years, and Joyspan has been one of our favorite books.  I have given it to several friends to help them figure out their journey with aging.  Lisa and I have read numerous books on every aspect of aging, and Joyspan tells the good, the bad, and ugly of it all.  It is full of relatable information that everyone in their golden years can use.  Joyspan is a book that I will return to again and again.  I hope that you will find it a treasure as well and will help you age with grace.  

Museums

by sssmahh303, posted in Lifestyle

Mary Ann

From the beginning of civilizations, humans have been hoarders or to say in a kinder way, packrats.  Luckily, it has been a blessing, and we have museums all over the world to prove it.  The Pharaohs took everything with them for the afterlife.  Instead, it has given us today a view of what life was like for the select few in ancient times.  Thank you, King Tut!

We all know the big museums like the Smithsonian museums, The Metropolitan or Nature History Museum in NYC, The British Museum in London, or the Louvre in Paris.  We all want to see the Mona Lisa at the Louvre – surprise, it was kind of small.  I walked by the Rosetta Stone at the British Museum several times until I asked a guard where it was.  It was also small.  How could several languages be on such a small slab of stone?  I thought it should be the size of a wall with such information.  Wrong again.  Then there are the dinosaur exhibits which are so prevalent at the world’s museums.  I have always loved seeing dinosaurs.  I think that most people do.  The dinosaur halls are always jammed and not only with children. 

One of the gifts of travel is the chance to see museums that are around the world, and those museums connect us to each other and our common humanity.  I remember years ago going to the Hellenic National Archaeological Museum in Athens, Greece.  They had a newly opened Children’s Museum. It was about children rather than for children.  It was fascinating to see how much in common today’s children had with children from 4000 years ago.  They had potty chairs and sippy cups.  The children played with small animals and balls that were captured in sculptures of the time.  Children remain the same.  A good lesson for us all – basically, we haven’t changed much.  

Museums can move you emotionally in both sad and joyous ways.  Anne Frank’s House in Amsterdam is an example.  I was surprised to find how big the attic space was.  As I read Anne’s diary, I had pictured the families in just a couple tiny rooms.  They were more spacious than imagined, but it was still confining to live silently for years.  You can only feel that by standing in the exact rooms.  Visiting Auschwitz in Poland, there is a solemn atmosphere surrounding the camp.  Walking into the showers and seeing the ovens stays with you.  How could humans treat other humans in such brutal ways?  Museums help us to remember.

As sad as some of the museums are, there are many more that brings great joy!  What could be better than looking at Monet waterlilies in the L’Orangeries in Tuileries Gardens in Paris.  Giant waterlilies!  It is breathtaking!  The Musee Marmottan Monet is on a quiet street in Paris, and it houses the largest collection of Monets in the world.  It is not a busy museum so you can take your time sitting and soaking in the masterpieces. By now you know that I love Monet.  Throughout the world, there are many museums that focus on the work of one artist.  You learn so much visiting each one, and you will be ready for the next game of Jeopardy!

Then there are outdoor museums like the ones in Scandinavia where you can see anything from a baby moose to handicrafts and replicas of ancient dwellings.  You get to walk around outside learning about the various cultures. There are sculpture gardens, and as you walk on winding paths through the woods, you see great works of art nestled into the landscape.  I have been to Millesgarden in Sweden and Grounds for Sculpture in New Jersey.  All fun!

However, my favorite museums are the quirky ones throughout the world. I am always looking for them when traveling.  In England there was a dog collar museum in Leeds, England – the kind that a big Mastiff might wear with pointed metal “teeth”.   A favorite was the Mummified Crocodile Museum in Egypt (featured below).  The Egyptians mummified crocodiles to honor the god Sobek.  The pharaohs took everything with them and maybe even the kitchen sink.  I guess they thought they would need crocodiles in the afterlife??  Drum roll!!! The most unique museum I ever found was The Icelandic Phallological Museum in Reykjavik.  Yes, a penis museum! It is like you have finally seen everything.  So, I am wishing you some great discoveries as you visit museums around the world. You never know what you might find along the way.  Maybe even a Pharaoh’s kitchen sink?