Women Helping Others

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

Often you hear how women are our own worst enemies. Instead of supporting each other, we stab each other in the back. While that may have been true in the past and in many cases, I have found many examples of the opposite. Having made a commitment to myself years ago, that I would serve as an example of how to help and support other women, I am consistently delighted to witness how strong, confident women help build others. Following the old adage, “a rising tide lifts all boats” I find it satisfying when one lifts up another.

I’ve been watching The Murdoch Mysteries. Main characters in the saga include female doctors and the dilemma and challenges facing them as they attempt to navigate careers in male-dominated fields. One doctor mentored the younger doctor, always providing expert advice and support. At the same time, other women turned their backs on both doctors as they were not living “traditional lives” as wives and mothers.  Although this is not the theme of the series, as a [former] professional woman I find the stories all too familiar.

I recall a time when as a new Ph.D. in technology I encountered almost no women in my field. At conferences I would be one of three women among hundreds of men. Some men would scoff at us; others would condescendingly “help” us find our way through the jungle of men and topics.

Time passed. More women joined the professions.  Careers progressed. Or did they? Interestingly, throughout my career I found I was paid less than men, even as I progressed up the proverbial ladder. Some women accused me of “sleeping my way to the top” while others called me dragon lady and names not fit for print.  A few, however, took me under their wings and led me through meetings, supporting me along the way.  Those women, I will never forget.

One such woman is now in assisted living. She is 89 and struggling with degenerative spine issues. I visit her regularly and consistently remind her that she made a positive impact on my life. For that I am forever grateful. She was a pillar of our community, always helping, supporting, and lifting other women. She told me recently that many of her friends were dead and the ones still living do not visit her. Even the woman she practically gave her business to and who lives ten minutes from her has not visited. I find this not only sad, but disrespectful.

“Mankind should be our business” Lew Hayward (John Forsythe) tells Frank Cross (Bill Murray) in Scrooged.  I love that movie! The message, again, isn’t about women, but it *is* about the importance of helping one another. So I ask you, dear reader, to take a moment and think about those who have lifted you up over the years. A friend. A colleague. A family member. Take time to call and thank them for helping you. Let them know how they made a difference in your life.

For now, I gratefully am off to have coffee with a former co-worker who after nine years of retirement has contacted me to ask for a reference, because she said I made an impact in her life. I am shedding tears of joy.  What goes around, comes around, I suppose.

Laughter – A Best Medicine

by Cynthia, posted in Reviews

In the past I was always trying new things.  I took classes, seminars, and lots of certifications, many of which were not at all closely related to my profession.  One such certification was Laughter Yoga.  I had so much fun learning about the value of laughing.

Your body does not know the difference between contrived laughs and laughs generated from humor. The physiological mechanisms such as inhaling, exhaling, and muscle movement are the same. So creating laughter is easy and anyone can do it.  Laughter yoga is particularly effective for people who might not feel like laughing. People who struggle with depression, cancer patients, etc. can be taught to simulate laughter.

Dr. Michael Miller, a cardiologist and medical professor at the University of Pennsylvania posits a hearty laugh is good for your heart, immune system, and additional health benefits. Even from the time of ancient Greeks to the present people have studied the use of laughter. Gelotology, the modern study of laughter, began emerging in the 1960s when many of us were mere children, who laughed spontaneously. Why as adults did we lose the ability to laugh easily? Jenny Rosendhal, a senior researcher of medical psychology at Jena University in Germany found that laughter-inducing therapies decreased glucose levels, as well as cortisol and chronic pain. Now that’s something for us to consider as we begin experiencing the aches and pains of aging!

While it feels a bit awkward at first, you will find that when you start with saying “hee hee ho ho ha ha ha” repeatedly your mouth begins to turn up and before you know it you are in a full belly laugh. (I know you are trying it right now as you read this post!).

One way to laugh more is to get with another person. Look into each other’s eyes and repeatedly say “ha ha” for at least a minute. Before you know it, you will laugh aloud. Of course there are additional techniques that stem from laughter yoga classes. Yet the decision to laugh is contagious, even if it is just for yourself. Look into a mirror and make faces while making laughing sounds.  If those don’t work, try calling a friend.  Tell “dad” jokes. Agree to laugh.

Make laughter a part of your daily routine. The more you laugh, the lighter you will feel. And with that big smile across your face, people will wonder what you are up to!

Address Books

by sssmahh303, posted in Lifestyle

Mary Ann 

Every few years I redo my address books after the Christmas holidays.  I usually have updated addresses that come with the Christmas cards.  Christmas cards are my way of touching base with all the people who have been dear to me through the years. I may not see many of my friends, but they are still important to me.  Because I have lived all over the country, my friends are from all over.  I view my address updating as a milestone in my life noting all the changes that happened over the years. 

 So, I ordered new address pages and began the update and transfer of addresses.  As I compared old addresses to the pile of new envelopes, you begin to see your sphere of friends unfold to the next stages of their lives – that life is unfolding for each of them in their own unique way.  I witness their lives through their Christmas notes and holiday letters. 

Most younger people, children of my friends, always have new addresses.  They are at an age when you move a lot so of course they change.  They often have married or had children.  However, my retired friends have downsized so they too often have new address.

One of the saddest changes at my age and what I find scary is the loss of friends.  Good friends have passed.  It is hard to x them out of the address book.  I pause at each one and say a little prayer telling them that I miss them.  Everything has changed for their family, and my life has tilted as well.

As I go through the address book, I notice that I didn’t hear from certain people.  This is my cue to text them to check to see if they are okay.  Many have given up sending Christmas cards; some are busy with their lives and don’t have time for correspondence.  Sometimes friends have become sick, or there are divorces. There is no Christmas cheer to share.  When a person is going through a rough time, they often are not ready to share their challenges or sadnesses with others.  When I check-in I say that I hope all is well, and I am here for you if you need anything.

This year as I did this housekeeping exercise, I found a file of all my old address books.  I decided it about time that I throw them out, but first, I need to go through them to determine if there was anything I need to keep.  As I was perusing the ABC of my friends, I found a few people who I could not identify.  I find that rather funny.  The person must have been a friend, or they would not be in the book.  As life moves along, people do come in and out of your life and change like the seasons.  It may not be a forever friend, but they were once upon a time important to me. 

So now I am set for a few years, and I do not know what life will bring until the next time.  Babies will come, people will marry, they will move, and some will die.  I will continue to send Christmas cards and many birthday cards to the people who are dear to me. It is my way of celebrating each of them for being part of my life.

Reflection

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

Several years ago I vowed to keep in touch with friends. When I thought of someone I would reach out within 24 hours. Technology makes it easier than ever before. We can make phone calls, send an email, craft a text message, or even use direct messaging on social media platforms. There is no excuse for not staying in touch with people.

Sometimes, though, people whom you respect are not close friends.  Mary Ann told me she read that most people have five truly close friends and about 150 acquaintances. At the time I thought, “I don’t have that many.” I resolved this year to add one friend to my repertoire of five.  In our senior years, developing friendships is even more difficult than when we were younger – and it was hard enough “back then.”

All that to say, sometimes there are people in your life that slip through your fingers. One of my acquaintances with whom I sometimes have lunch has been on my mind a lot of late. Each day I thought I would reach out to her by some means other than email as she had not responded to my messages for some time.  Still, I didn’t stop and take the time.  Then a few days ago, another friend sent me a text message with a link to an obituary.  Her husband had passed away unexpectedly a week before.

Immediately I picked up the phone and called.  She answered by saying, “Hello, Cynthia.” I expressed my condolences and offered to call the next week to schedule a time we could get together. I attended her husband’s (Don’s) funeral two days later.

Funerals are designed to be times to remember and honor the person who passed. They are for meeting with the family for a short moment in time, lending support and caring. Don’s funeral was well attended. Many of the people there were men and women with whom I had worked for years, all coming together in a common thread.  The service was full of remembrances and somewhat traditional.

Honestly, I cannot remember attending a traditional funeral for quite some time. Most of the services I have attended were more in the category of “Celebration of Life” opposed to a funeral with scripture and hymns. Yet, Don and his wife, my friend, are devout Christians, thus a fitting tribute to his life.

We are now at the age that we have begun to lose family members and friends. Life on earth is not eternal. These occurrences remind us to live each day fully, to love deeply, to be peaceful, and to shine light on whatever we are doing.

As I reflect on my life and those of my family, friends and acquaintances, I am reminded of the importance of connection …. Before it is too late. I hope to be remembered as a person who cared about others, who lifted them up, who spread happiness as often as possible.  How would you like to be remembered?

I wish for you, dear readers, Peace, Love, and Light.

Monikers

by sssmahh303, posted in Wellness

Mary Ann

How can I help you, Young Lady?  How many times have your heard this?  Does it make you angry or insult you?  Among my friends, there is mixed reactions to being referred to as a young girl with gray hair.  

It only seems to happen to women.  I don’t recall my father being called young man.  I am not sure you know a husband or father being called that.  I don’t think older men would put up with it.  As older women, we tend to do so.  I guess we don’t want to make a scene, no matter how angry it makes us or how insulted we are.  It is not worth the effort!

However, a moniker is an informal term for a name, nickname, alias, or handle and is often used to describe someone or something with a characteristic label.  The Big Apple is a moniker for New York City.  So that kind of moniker is a positive use of a name.  It is debatable if young lady is a positive moniker.

When we are called young lady, maybe we should try to see it in a more positive light.  At least, you are being recognized when you are addressed.  Maybe the person is really giving you a compliment trying to make you feel special.  Most of the time, it is a young person greeting you.  They are not saying, “Hello, Old Lady.”  I think that often Miss is a better way to acknowledge you.  Since we are women of a certain age, we often are taken good care of by the waiter or clerk afterwards. 

I think as women of certain age, we should smile rather than grumbling about the moniker.  We can give grace.  We can show the young person we are classy ladies.  If you feel that you need to say something – that “young lady” makes you uncomfortable, say it.  The person probably didn’t give it a second thought but will think about it in the future. 

As I was writing this blog, the phone rang, and an appointment clerk had called to verify a doctor’s appointment.  When the person was hanging up, she said, “Goodbye, Hon.” I know her so it was an endearment and not an insult.  Life is too short to dwell on such a small slight.  So next time you are addressed as young lady or sweetheart, be a sweetheart and give the person a smile.  Take it as a compliment.  It will make the world a little brighter, and we need more of that!

Revive (Create?) Your Love for Reading

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

Throughout my career I read constantly. I read professional and industry journals and publications. I read books about leadership, business, and education. I reviewed websites and online articles. You get the picture.  My guess is you also read information necessary to keep you informed and successful.  Once I retired, I believed I would read all those books in my wall of bookshelves that I never had time to sit with.

My excitement for reading waned as I faced the reality of retirement. After a few months, however, I realized that I missed not only reading but people to “unpack” what I had just read.  So, I attempted to start of book club. After a few false starts, I ended up with some fellow readers. Some really just wanted the comradery; others wanted an intellectual outlet. Over time, I settled into a group who decided to meet for coffee and discussion.

Often, I am asked: “how does your book club select the books to read?”  This is one of my favorite features of the book club I am in.  Every six months, we bring potential titles to a discussion. Rather than limiting ourselves to a particular genre, anything is an option. We discuss the books based on their authors, reviews, and lists on which they appear. As such, we have read historical fiction, memoirs, non-fiction, and even a “beach read” here and there. We have enjoyed Pulitzer Prize and other winning titles and self-published tomes. Many of the books I would otherwise not have read if not for sharing the love of reading and discussion with others.

Reading can open your eyes and heart to ideas and worlds you have never visited. Unfortunately, the percent of people who read for pleasure during an average day has dropped 12% since 2004. That figures reflects not only books but also audiobooks, e-books, and magazines. Those interviewed find they spend time scrolling social media or watching television.  If you find yourself among those who would like to read more but struggle to get started, here are a few tips.

Start with the Right Book. Don’t start with War and Peace or some other doorstop. Rather select something that may bring your joy. Look for a variety of places to find titles that may be of interest. I subscribe to several book list recommendations or follow the link when someone points me to another list. You can get recommendations from friends, your local librarian, and online communities (there are a lot!). One free list I receive regularly is “Readworthy by BookBub.”

Set a reading routine. Schedule a certain time of day that you believe you would enjoy “taking a break.” Plan to read a set number of pages, a chapter, or a specified amount of time. Start small. Determine a particular place that you will also read. This special location signals that it is time to read. Leave the phone in another room or put it on silent for your reading period.

Experiment with formats. E-books or audio books offer an alternative to traditional paper books. Many libraries offer electronic versions at no charge.  Audio books allow you to listen to a book while doing household chores or taking a walk (although for safety purposes I would avoid having earbuds in while walking.)

Set a reading goal. If you are a goal-oriented person, attempting to reach a certain number of books may be just the motivation you need! However, you may want to use social media or a reading tracker to encourage you to keep at it. This year one of my reading goals is to read the entire Bible in a year. I found a tracker (The Bible Recap) that suggests what to read each day and includes a short video reviewing what I read. Additionally, I set a goal to read 24 books.

Give yourself permission to skip a read. This one is the hardest for me! But reading should not feel like a burden.  If you find you are not enjoying a book, you are not obligated to finish it. A male friend of mine once told me he thought women seemed to feel they owe the author to finish a book.  Maybe he is right. I’m working on that!

All-in-all, reading offers me a chance to expand my creative thinking, introduces me to perspectives I may not have considered, and allows me to slow down and relax for a few minutes. Maybe it will do the same for you. Grab a cup of tea, a lightweight throw, and a book.  You may find you are a reader after all.

The View from Lake Como 

by sssmahh303, posted in Reviews

Mary Ann

Have you discovered the Adrianna Trigiani universe of books?  If you have, you know her wonderful stories and are probably like me waiting for her next book.  If you do not know this author, you are about to make a new friend with Adrianna.   I envy you a bit to have the opportunity to discover this masterful storyteller’s tales. 

Adrianna Trigiani is an author who writes about her Italian heritage from Big Stone Gap in the Appalachian Mountains of Virginia to Greenwich Village in New York City to New Jersey and Italy. The heroine of her books are often women finding themselves and are on the verge of blooming into the strong women they were meant to be.  Their journeys unfold in small towns to big cities, and Trigiani will frequently tell the stories in trilogies, so you really get to know the characters well. You kind of grow with them too.  If you know Italian families, you will appreciate the dialog and biting humor of the families. Trigiani captures it all in her novels.

Since 2000, she has written 19 books – mostly fiction but she does do some nonfiction.  Her most recent book from 2025 is The View from Lake Como, the Jersey version, not the Italian lake; however, Italy becomes a main character in this story.  Giuseppina (Jess) Capodimonte Baratta, the heroine, is a woman who is finding herself.  Jess has endured several hardships with a death of a beloved uncle, a divorce, a controlling family, an unfulfilled career, and the other ups and downs of life.  She wants more from her small life in Lake Como, so she goes to Italy to find herself and what a new life could bring.  Jess is spreading her wings, and you get to join her on the flight!   We all see ourselves in Jess’s transformation, and you may learn a little about yourself as you accompany Jess on her adventure. 

I know that once you read one of Adrianna Trigiani’s stories, you will seek out her other books to be part of her one big Italian family throughout the world.  More importantly, you will be part of her big literary family as well enjoying her tales that are full of heart and soul!   

Portfolio Diet

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

The panic on my PA’s face said it all. My cholesterol is way too high. She all but said I would die any minute if I didn’t get on a statin. I smiled and told her I was first diagnosed with high cholesterol when I was 40. Now, thirty years later, I still have high cholesterol.

Then, as now, the “doctor” tells me to avoid fried food. Cut out red meat. Eliminate carbs. Really?! I have been a vegetarian most of my life. The “avoid” list will not help me because I already “avoid” those foods. Doctors are not educated in nutrition. Their advice says what not to do without suggestions on what to do; other than take pharmaceuticals.

“A cholesterol diagnosis is not just about numbers on a lab report. It challenges how you see your body, your habits, and your future. It can quietly undermine your confidence, making you feel as though control has slipped out of your hands.” *

Every time I get the blood test results, it is the same advice. So I continue to watch YouTube videos, read articles, and research potential “cures.” Recently, I came across the Portfolio Diet, developed by Dr. David J. A. Jenkins, the nutrition scientist and physician who developed the glycemic index. Dr. Jenkins has what seems to be a “formula” for cholesterol reduction.  His approach “combines four categories of cholesterol-lowering foods into a daily ‘portfolio’, much like diversifying investments to achieve a stronger overall result.” *

Statins do not cure high cholesterol; they simply inhibit the liver from creating it. I wonder what makes my liver create so much? Hmmm.

The Portfolio approach combines four cholesterol-lowering components. They are viscous fiber, plant sterols, plant protein, and nuts. Each of these components work with LDL in different ways. They block absorption, increase excretion, and help clear cholesterol from the blood.

Interestingly, this diet was first published about 25 years ago. Why am I just now hearing about it? When I went in search of spread with plant sterols added, the manager at Natural Grocers had never heard of the diet, either.

For my approach to living, the protein (legumes, beans), fiber (grains, vegetables), and nuts are easy.  Plant sterols are in fruits and vegetables but according to Dr. Jenkins, one needs 2 grams per day – more than one could get just through eating.  So, I will continue to research.

Meanwhile, I will eat my almost vegan diet and hope the next blood test turns out a little better. At the least, it is fun to have a research quest to fill the days of snow and cold, all while knowing I am doing the best I can for my internal health. Stay tuned!

*Quote is from *The Portfolio Diet dr. David Jenkins* by David J. Martins RDN. Printed in Coppel, Texas, January, 2026.

Small Towns

by sssmahh303, posted in Friends and Family

Mary Ann

My father grew up in Benton, a little town in Northeastern Pennsylvania.  That little town produced some very exceptional individuals who changed the world.  One was my uncle, Samuel B. McHenry.  He was an inventor with 43 patents that included brooms and brushes that paid the bills, but he also patented several alternative energy inventions like a wave machine and using stream currents to generate electricity – a man ahead of his time. At one point in his career, he got in trouble with a society lady in Chicago.  My Great-Grandfather, his brother Abram, had to go get him and bring him home to Benton.  He was “madly” in love with a young woman he never met – there is a thin line between genius and insanity.  

I included a photo of his memorial at the cemetery where he is buried.  It was a representation of a craftsmen’s chest where tools were kept with the word Inventor engraved on it.  I always thought it was a treasure chest.  On top of the block of granite is a gizmo that Samuel invented called an Astronomical Demonstrating Device.  According to my father the top sphere represented the sun, and the bottom sphere was the Earth.  The device rested on a figure-eight base that had the months of the year engraved.  As the earth revolved around the sun, the device would move settling on the current month of the year.   Every time I visited the cemetery, the earth sphere was in the correct month of the year – almost like magic.  Apparently, the tilt of the Earth as it moved through space initiated the movement of the device to the correct month. 

The second person was Dr. Frank Laubach.  He was a missionary and travelled the world using the Bible to teach reading.  The premise was that “each one, teach one.”  I would teach you to read then you would teach someone else to read and so on.   His work was Nobel Prize worthy.  However, he was honored in 1984 with a stamp commemoration. The Laubach Literacy Program and the Laubach Method, developed with his son, Dr. Robert Laubach, is still helping illiterate people learn to read. Today, the programs have merged with ProLiteracy Worldwide and have touched people in 103 countries.  

 When I was little, my grandmother took me to the Laubach house in Benton to meet Dr. Laubach when he was home from his travels.  It was a rare moment.  I remember seeing him from afar as I was too shy to greet him.  I had no idea who he was.  He seemed to glow. Maybe his gentle soul was shining through.  I never forgot that encounter. 

Finally, the third person was Winton Laubach.  He was a childhood friend of my father’s.  Winston was legally blind and had to count the streetlights to find his way home after a day of play.  He studied math at Penn State and Columbia University and later taught the subject at Penn State and the Colorado School of Mines.  His book A Mathematical Medley illustrates his love for numbers. 

I once asked my father how a small town in the mountains of Pennsylvania could produce such noteworthy individuals.  He said that they were all trying to get out!  I am not sure that is true.  However, it was a close-knit community where everyone knew everyone.  When you went out to play, wherever you were at lunch time, you had lunch there. The community collectively raised all the children.  Their grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins all lived in the same little town.  These extended families always supported the children, and they knew they were supported.  They all had long childhoods which allowed their imaginations to grow.  

The world is so different today with families far flung across the country and more recently around the world.  Families must work hard to develop such communities of the past.  I am thankful that my family roots run deep in this little community of Benton.  It has helped to create the person I have become.  America should have more small towns like Benton to help shape the future of the world in a positive way.

Exercise Snacks

by sssmahh303, posted in Wellness

Mary Ann

I recently came across an article on Exercise Snacks.  Now, the definition of a snack is a small amount of food eaten between meals. Exercise snacks reflect the same philosophy with activity, as snacks do to food. Exercise Snacks are doing a small amount of movement from 30 seconds to 5 to 10 minutes of activities. It can be as simple as climbing the stairs to walking around the house to dancing to a favorite song.  It can also be gardening or housework – all activity counts!  

Dr. Howard Hartley, a cardiology, in 2007 coined the term Exercise Snacks.  These little burst of exercise or movement help elderly people to mitigate physical decline as they age.  The small amount of movement can have an impact on chronic conditions like heart disease, high blood sugar, and even dementia.  Every little bit of activity can make a difference in your overall health. 

Exercise Snacks can be done by all of us of a certain age.  We can take the stairs a time or two more a day.  We can walk around the neighborhood or around your house.  You can hop on a stationary bike for a five-minute ride and if that is too much than do it for two minutes.  Start out with baby steps and work your way up to longer sessions.  These small changes have big rewards and can support behavioral changes that develop habits.  It is hard to get started and to keep going when exercising. 

I have been kind of doing Exercise Snacks without knowing what it was called.  You probably have too.  However, since reading the article, I have been more conscientious regarding every movement I am making and that they will add up to better results if I keep doing them.  The bottom line is not to be sedentary.  Every household chore that I do adds up to more movement.  

Of course, it takes me a week to get my Christmas decorations up and then down rather than a weekend as in the past.  I am slowing down, but I am still moving.  That movement is making me healthier physically and mentally.  I need to celebrate that, and the little victory dance that I am doing now is yet another kind of movement.  If I miss a day because I have low energy, there is always tomorrow.  You can always begin again.  Piggyback on regular daily activity by adding a little exercise – an example, while washing dishes, do some heel raises.  When watching TV, do chair exercises.  Sitting is passive so adding some movement changes everything making you more active and being active makes you healthier.  It is time to begin Exercise Snacking  – Bon Appetite for better living!