Goals

by sssmahh303, posted in Taking Care of Business

Mary Ann

When I was a little girl, I compiled a list of things I wanted to see before I died.  It was a bit serious for a child of 6 or 7.  However, I am sure that I read about some of these wonders of nature in my Weekly Reader(Remember Weekly Reader?), and I didn’t want to miss anything. My list included: a hummingbird, a falling star, a rainbow, a monarch, and finding a four-leaf clover.  This was my bucket list as a child.  It was more like a small pail than a bucket. 

Eventually, I saw everything, and my little Bible was full of four-leaf clovers. Since those early years, I continued setting goals – getting a puppy, going to college, and on and on.  I never did talk my parents into getting me a horse. I had a perfect plan for a stable by our creek.  

Fast forward to adulthood, and it was time for grown-up goals.   You can set goals, but life has a way of changing everything thus changing your goals.  Nevertheless, every New Year, I would create a list. I bet you do, too!  Then a few months go by, and the goals are forgotten until the next New Year.  It is kind of a vicious cycle.  So how do you get a handle on setting goals?

Since I have been keeping in touch with Cynthia, we have done annual goals.  No one else I know does goals as well as Cynthia.  She makes spread sheets, lists goals with sets of to-do lists and deadlines, and we set goal reviews on Zoom every few months. it all puts me to shame.  I have created all the same sheets, but I just couldn’t keep up. 

So, this year, I decided I was going to make a few big goals and keep it simple.   I created four meaningful goals that included: the Blog, my Estate Notebook, my School Materials, and Healthy Living – So far so good.  Cynthia and I got Silver Sage Sisters up and running.  I have written 24 blogs.  We do need to get better with the photos, and I promise we are working on that.  I went through my School Materials and have found homes for most it. I need to get my Estate Notebook finished to make my inevitable passing easier for my family when it comes. Finally, Healthy Living is moving along.  I really want to create menus of healthy recipes, so I can plan meals and my shopping list.  I waste too much food which makes me very guilty when I throw it out.  I also started working out on the machines at the gym, and I can tell I am stronger. Now, at the half-way point of the year, I am at a pretty good place.  All the goals’ loose ends will be finished by year’s end. This is the best I have ever been with goals at the mid-point.

Another technique that has been very helpful is working with a buddy.  It makes you accountable, and you can cheerlead one another on.  Cynthia and friend L have done this with me for health goals and financial goals.  If you do one small thing, they will add up to the one big thing you want to accomplish.  It also makes it fun to tag team with a bud.

Please know that Cynthia and I do some goals over and over.  It is funny because we don’t ever seem to get ahead. An example of this is organizing our cookbooks and recipes.  I think I could have my cookbooks suddenly disappear and nothing would change.  Again, I am constantly finding new recipes, so the pile of clippings and new cookbooks keeps growing.  In any given year, I can hardly get all my favorite meals prepared let alone new ones, yet I try.  It really isn’t that bad of a problem, and it all tastes good!

In conclusion, when goal setting, keep it simple, determine what really matters to you, and get a buddy to keep you honest.  It has worked for me this year, so it will be my goal to keep doing it.   

The Idea of You

by Cynthia, posted in Reviews

Mom and I recently watched a a romantic comedy starring Ann Hathaway, Nicholas Galitzine, and Ella Rubin, among others. Based on a novel by Robinne Lee, the film was a delightful flick about a 40-year-old single mother who, through a series of unexpected events, becomes involved with a 24-year-old boy band star. Her daughter is 16.

On a basic level, the movie was sweet, sometimes sad, sometimes funny. Refreshingly, there were few curse words and sexual innuendoes were suggested and limited. The film was a nice reprieve from the many dark movies now on the market. Finding a movie that can be understood and enjoyed by a 95-year-old with mild dementia and a 70-year-old who is trying to fill an evening while confined to quarters is a challenge. Especially when almost every night a movie is entertainment.

The story weaves the lives of a divorced mother of a teenager whose father (and his girlfriend) is still in the picture, the coming-of-age girl, and the challenges of a hot rock star. It highlights the various tribulations caused by living a modern life — the indignant father who himself had cheated on his wife, the daughter who is supportive until her friends at school begin making snide remarks, and the rock star who has trouble trusting someone’s intentions.

A disappointing twist (not from the picture but from the way people react) was highlighted when all kinds of people expressed their judgmental opinions as to the morals of the mother.  Why do we in society find acceptable a man who dates or marries at woman 20 years younger yet when a woman dates a man sixteen years younger, she is labeled with various negative descriptors? The idea highlights continued gender and age-related injustices. Personally, I appreciated the film broaching this issue. I believe each of us has our own challenges in life and we are not aware of anyone else’s situation. Therefore, let us not judge others.

All-in-all I thoroughly enjoyed viewing the film for the social issues raised, yet more importantly for the sheer pleasure of the story line. The Idea of You is available on Prime Video. Enjoy!

Cynthia

A Kiss Is Still A Kiss

by sssmahh303, posted in Lifestyle

As the song, As Time Goes By, says A Kiss is Still A Kiss. Or is it? There are all kinds of kisses. The slobbery kisses of a puppy or the scratchy lick of kitty are loving gestures to their humans.  A butterfly kiss from a little child with a flutter of eyelashes to your cheek is just precious. And who can forget when you were passionately kissed by someone you love or loved, when your knees buckle, and you fall into a swoon.  All of this is true, but there are still many other kinds of kisses in the world.  

When you travel to the Galapagos Islands, you experience one of Earth’s most unique places.  It is truly the peaceable kingdom where animals and man can coexist without fear of one another.  I experienced this during my visit.  I decided to spend some quiet time on the beach and do some sketching.  I sat crisscross applesauce among 20 or so seals that were scattered around the beach taking naps and sunbathing.  They were only a few feet from me. Nowhere else on Earth could you do this.  

I happily was sketching the seals and was in the zone not paying too much attention to what was going on around me.  Then I suddenly felt something bristly encircle my knee.  I looked down and a baby seal was touching my knee with its nose.  I was being kissed by a seal.  I sat there is shock, and the little guy scooched by me and nestled in the sand a few feet away falling immediately to sleep.  Mother did not seem to be around, and the other seals paid no attention to us.  I then sketched my new friend.  When I left the beach, I took more than my sketches.  I took a priceless memory of my sweet encounter with the baby seal – I got a whisker kiss, and it made me swoon!  

There is a Giraffe Center in Nairobi, Kenya, where you can have a close encounter of the tall kind.  A staircase takes you up to a wraparound deck to meet the giraffes at their level.  Giraffe kibble was available to purchase to feed them.  I wonder if Purina made them for the giraffes as they make many kinds of animal kibble – imagine bags of giraffe kibble among cat and dog food.  

The giraffes were ready for a treat.  Luckily for me there were not many people there, so I got lots of attention from the giraffes wanting their goodies. You could feed them by hand and pet their patterned faces.  They have big, beautiful, brown eyes that are like mirrors where you can see yourself.  If you are more daring, you can place a piece of kibble between your lips, and the giraffe will take the kibble from you.  I did just that. Their big, soft, floppy lips gently touch my lips as they took the kibble. I was being kissed by a giraffe -What a sweet memory for me from Africa.

Finally, my family was on vacation at the Jersey Shore near Atlantic City.  My Father wanted to go fishing.  It was a terrible day, cold and rainy.  We went on a fishing cruise that took us to a nearby inlet to fish. Dressed in giant yellow slickers, we casted our fishing lines into the choppy water.  Hours passed, I really mean hours, and no one caught a fish.  It was a long afternoon when suddenly my Father caught a tiny shark about 6 to 8 inches long.  (As the years passed, the shark got bigger with each retelling of the tale.) It was a perfect shark in miniature.  

Since the book and later the movie, Jaws, I have always been terrified of sharks.  Intellectually, I know sharks are necessary to the ocean ecosystem, but emotionally, they can eat you.  Right before my Father tossed the shark back into the water, I asked him to give it to me.  I was going to face my fear.  In my hands I was holding a SHARK!  Its skin was like sandpaper, and it was thrashing a bit.  I am sure it was just as scared of me as I was of it.  Right then I decided to plant a big kiss on its head and send it on its way.  Off it went into the deep blue sea. Now, I am still a little afraid of sharks, but my new fear is the shark will return to kiss me.  I don’t think there is a sweet way for a shark to kiss you.  Duuuunnnn duun…

Mary Ann 

When Life Gives You Lemons ….

by Cynthia, posted in Uncategorized

One of my favorite aunts has a birthday two days before Independence Day. Naturally, people like to give her patriotic-themed gifts. This year I decided to branch out, so to speak. I wanted to do something special for her that wasn’t red, white, and blue.  Don’t get me wrong. I love America, Old Glory, Red/White/Blue, and patriotic décor. Yet it seems everyone gives her July 4th types of gifts.

Aunt Kathy is always going the extra mile for her friends and family. She works tirelessly at hosting dinners and parties, always presenting perfectly designed food and tablescapes. Nothing I do can match her expertise. Still, I wanted to select a theme that was timely and befitting such an elegant woman.

My cousin’s wife who helped with the party suggested spaghetti and marinara for the menu. I began thinking “Italian.”  Gift shopping at a favorite local interior design store, I came across a cookbook entitled “Lemon, Love, and Olive Oil” by Mina Stone. Next to the book was displayed lemon-infused olive oil.  I was reminded of my visit to the Amalfi Coast and a lemon farm. Perfect! The theme would be lemons! Bright yellow as the summer sun, sweet as lemonade, and cheery for a hot summer evening.

I curated a basket with the cookbook, olive oil, and a few lemon-related items — Lemon pepper, a zester tool with a juicer on the other end, a pour spout for the oil, lemon motif tea towel, and some additional lemon/kitchen items. I dotted the items with artificial lemons and spruced up the basket with yellow silk flowers.  The basket became part of the dining room décor until after dinner when she opened gifts.


Antipasto platters are amazing for appetizers and to complement pasta. Pickled vegetables, a variety of both hard and soft cheeses, sliced figs, grapes, marcona almonds, prosciutto and salami served with crostini made for yummy munching.

Dinner consisted of a pasta bar, fruit tray, and antipasto platter which also served as the appetizer while guests enjoyed iced tea or lemonade. (This crew does not imbibe so wine was not served, but a crisp sauvignon blanc or chianti would go perfectly.) Pasta bars can be elaborate, but for only eight people I kept it simple – bucatini (instead of spaghetti), farfalle, and a gluten-free penne could be topped with meatballs, sautéed vegetables, and homemade marinara or alfredo sauces. Soft, warm, garlic bread sticks rounded out the main course.

For the fruit tray I made watermelon and cantaloupe balls sprinkled with blueberries served in the small watermelon shell at the corner of a large square tray, accompanied by sliced nectarines, avocados, strawberries, apricots, apples, and sprigs of green and red grapes.

Of course dessert had to include lemon bars. My cousin’s wife brought Bundtinis in lemon, and three additional flavors. I had planned to make gelato but ran out of time. No one seemed to miss the ice cream.

Most of the food could be made the day before, so only the pasta was cooked an hour before guests were to arrive. Usually I would not slather pasta with olive oil, but I read several sources that suggested a high-grade olive oil would keep the pasta from drying out while keeping it warm. It worked fine. The key was to enjoy the guests upon arrival.

The evening was hot outside, the feeling inside warm and inviting. Family members talked and laughed or as the saying goes, ate, drank, and made merry.  Although the theme was lemons, the evening was sweet, befitting for one of my favorite people.

Just the Right Book

by sssmahh303, posted in Wellness

Have you ever had the experience where you were plagued by a problem or were facing a challenging time in life, and suddenly you find just the right book or the right article to help you find the answers to your dilemma?  It has happened to me so many times that I have lost count.  I think it is divine intervention.  It may be that I am open to finding direction and then the universe provides.    Regardless of how it happens, I am thankful.

Books have been known for a long time to have power to change a life.  Bibliotherapy is the term for this.  It sometimes is called Book Therapy.  It is a creative arts therapy that uses specific reading texts to help with various issues. You may not be in therapy, but books can really help make a difference in your life.

The books can be fiction or nonfiction.  The Little Paris Bookshop by French author, Nina George, is a charming tale about Monsieur Perdu who is the proprietor of a bookstore that is housed in a barge on the Seine.  He sees himself as a “literary apothecary” because he intuits the exact book a customer needs; he “prescribes” novels for the hardships of life. It seems that finding the right book is universal. For the remainder of the book, Perdu sets out to find his long-lost love as he navigates his bookstore barge down the French rivers dispensing books and wisdom along the way. This work of fiction is a delightful French adventure that denotes the power of books.  

My friend, L, and I started a nonfiction book club at the beginning of the Covid Pandemic. I shared this with you in the past.  It is still going strong because it has been so powerful in our lives.  The topics have educated us in health, wealth, and happiness. Not all the books have been great, yet there are always nuggets of wisdom in each book. However, there are some books, just the right books, that have been life changing for each of us or both of us.  In Martha Beck’s The Way of Integrity, Finding the Path to Your True Self, Ms. Beck claims that books are teachers, soul guides. She states on page 42, “Reading is the way I’ve met most of my life teachers, and clients often tell me that just when they felt most confused, the perfect book seems to ‘throw itself off the shelf’ and into their attention.”  Again, the power of just the right book signifies their importance in our lives.  

The Way of Integrity has been a meaningful book for us.  A Life in the Light, Meditations on Impermanence by Mary Pipher is another. Silver Sage Sisters, you will identify with her memoir because you too have walked the same path as she in years’ past.  My copy of The Comfort Book by Matt Haig is dog-eared throughout. The collection of essays offers comfort in every way, plain and simple.  Untamed by Glennon Doyle is a book about living fully and authentically.  Her truth was different from my life, yet I understand that for many of us, we created a life that others wanted for us rather than the one we would have chosen for ourselves if given the opportunity.  We are currently reading Brené Brown’s Rising Strong.  We love Brene Brown, and of course, she has written her books just for us. 

All the forementioned books are great reads for both education and for enjoyment.  Books are friends, helpful friends that lead us to see the world with different perspectives.   Special books can indeed change our lives.  

A Boodle

by sssmahh303, posted in Taking Care of Business

My dear friend, Patty, would often talk about having a boodle.  Her mother told her that every woman needed a boodle, a stash of her own money, often secret.  I had never heard of it before Patty used it.  I thought it was a Yiddish word, but it’s not. I thought it was a family word. It was not.  However, boodle is a real word. A boodle means a large quantity of something, often ill-gotten money. It is from the Dutch word boedel from the 1600s.  A few of our politician have boodles that get them into a lot of trouble. We are going to talk about the good kind of boodle.

When I was a young woman, we really didn’t think about having our own money. You might save your babysitting money or what you made as a waitress or another job.  You used it to buy clothes or to have a good time. We weren’t taught how to invest or build your credit score.  We hardly knew how to balance our check books if you had one. Then we married and often our husbands took over the finances. I imagine many women had their own boodles from pennies pinched here and there that was stashed away somewhere in the pantry.

 I was a military wife, so I had to do the bills since often my husband was deployed. That was a blessing in disguise for me.  When my husband left me, my eyes opened, not how to pay a bill, but how economics worked.  I had no credit since my credit was tied to my husband’s.  Yet, I was responsibility for caring for two children. 

 I had a good, stable job which was lifesaving for my family.  I was able to get a place to live since I had the money for deposits. The car was a whole other ball game.  With no credit, it was hard to get a loan for a car.  A very nice salesman at the Renault dealership worked very hard to get me a lease so I had a car.  That kind man was a guardian angel.  Angels come in different forms. 

As time passed, and I slowly began building a credit history by paying the rent and the car lease payments, I bravely applied for a Shell gas card.  When I got approved for it, I was walking on air.  I had a credit card. I had a new beginning to take care of myself and my family. Then, the big whammy hit.  My ex did not pay the bills that had my name on it, so what little credit I had built was now in danger. I was back in the hole again. I ended up slowing paying off the loans and credit cards of the joint accounts.  You need to be careful what you sign – if your name is on the account, you are responsible regardless the circumstances. 

I wish I had a boodle.  I could have taken better care of myself if the “stash” was available. I could have eased the challenges I faced.  However, I may not have learned the money lessons I needed to learn. Obviously, I did thrive on my own and grew my credit history.  It was not easy, but it can be done. I am living proof. 

When I became a principal, I would always tell my young female teachers to build their own credit, grow their savings, invest in their retirement, and create a boodle which today is an emergency fund.  It is easier today for women to build credit and manage money but not necessarily easy.  I would also give this advice to older women for many of them still don’t know how to manage their finances.  Life can change so quickly from the passing of a spouse to an unexpected divorce.  It is always better to be prepared.  If you don’t know where to begin, I suggest reading Jane Bryant Quinn’s How to Make Your Money Last or Get Good with Money by Tiffnay Aliche.  Both finance books can help you to self-educate.  You can do it! 

Mary Ann

Merlin

by sssmahh303, posted in Reviews

Have you ever been sitting on your deck or walking in the woods and hear a bird singing its heart out and have no idea what kind of bird is serenading you?  It happens to me all the time.  Then I found the Merlin app and pure magic entered my life – abracadabra!

Merlin Bird ID is a nature app from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology (Study of Birds so you know for a future Jeopardy game.) It is free and once you start using it, you will use it every day or at least I have. All you do is open the app and tap the green sound button. The app then begins to record the bird sounds that you are hearing and some you do not hear.  As different birds sings, they are identified, and a little picture appears of the bird. Each time that bird sings the bird’s name is highlighted in yellow. If you touch the bird picture, a small paragraph appears with info about the bird. You can also play the bird song of a particular bird and learn to identify the bird yourself. I didn’t realize that I was surrounded by birds. I don’t see them, but they are there.  So far this summer, the app has identified 20ish species. 

Cornell Lab has a wealth of information about birds at their website cornellbirds@cornell.edu.  They offer great classes such as The Wonderful World of Hummingbirds to art classes to everything you ever wanted to know about birding – all at reasonable fees.  They have bird cams to view baby birds hatch and grow up.  There are bird counts that you can participate in with people from all over the country and the world.  I am always finding one more bit of information on everything bird, science, and conservation on the site.

If you join the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, you will receive their eBulletin and their wonderful bi-annual magazine, Living Bird which has exquisite photographs and excellent articles on birds.  Supporter level is $39.00, and a family subscription is $60.00.  It provides a lot of bang for the buck. 

Nature gives us so many gifts, and the choir of our feather friends is so often taken for granted in our daily lives.  If you stop and take a moment, you can hear their greatest hits and feel the magic!  

Mary Ann

Organizing Holiday Décor

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

Cynthia

I love holidays! In fact, holidays are so fun that I create them, at times. Upon entering my home, one will find a small entry space that opens directly into my “front room” and dining room. My table is always set, inviting guests to join me for a meal or even just a snack, among timely décor each month.  Or they can simply delight in the décor as they pass into my home. This month, of course, is Patriotic. Red, white, and blue adorn the tablescape and spill over into the family room and kitchen.

My granddaughter, who just graduated from college, enjoys the holiday decorating. Each time I pull out another tub of goodies, she says, “Dibs on that one!”  I have collected so much décor over the years that I had to find a way to store it and to prepare for her to take it at some point in the future.

First, I ensure all related items are stored together.  For some themes I have only one box; other themes require more.  Christmas, for example, takes up almost an entire wall of shelves, since we put a theme-related tree in every room. St. Patrick’s Day only needs one tub, although admittedly it is stuffed full!

Next, each box (really, they are plastic tubs) is labeled with my own inventory-type codes. All the tubs are on shelves with the 72-point typeface facing out. Using consistent codes, it is easy to spot which tub I want to pull off the shelves.  Speaking of shelves, my two-car garage is lined with commercial grade shelves on all three walls. The sturdy shelving is safe and has four layers. If I need something out of one box, I no longer must move several tubs to get to the right one.

Finally, the content list of each box is typed and stored in a file folder on my computer.  I can look up the contents of any box quickly.  The plus is, when it is time to put things away, I can look at the list and see what goes into each tub. No guesswork and no re-inventorying.

Obviously, setting all this up took some time. But the time was well spent. Now I save time while getting out and putting away décor, making holiday decorating quick so we can just enjoy the look.

The big bonus of organizing the décor and having an inventory is more than just saving time. I have a list for insurance should I lose my treasures in a fire or other catastrophe. And remember dostadning? When it comes time for my daughter and grandchildren to have to deal with my “valuables” they can easily decide what to keep and what to sell or donate, without looking through all the “stuff.”

For now and later, organizing holiday décor is a great gift to give yourself and your loved ones.

Proud to be an American

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

Fourth of July. Independence Day. Whatever you call it, today is a day to celebrate America.  Although the forefathers declared independence on July 2nd, the Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4, 1776.  Or so the story goes.

For Americans, the national holiday occurs as the temperatures are warming  … or should I say, heating up. The day is filled with parades, cookouts, and fireworks viewed with family and friends.   Children drip popsicles on their sneakers and dads smear barbeque sauce on sizzling meats.

It is a day to honor our country with its official colors – Red, White, and Blue.

“The Star Spangled Banner”, “Proud to be an American”, “Stars and Stripes Forever”, and countless other patriotic songs fill the air. People are friendlier as if celebrating Christmas in July.

For me, it is a day … or a week … to remember my sweet brother who was a proud American. Having served in the Army when the military still had a draft, my brother was always patriotic. Maybe it was fitting that he was passing during last year’s celebration. At 74 his body finally gave out the morning after.

I remember just days before hospice brought a hospital bed for his last days on earth, how important it was to him to ensure a fresh, untattered flag was flying in front of his home. As he struggled to changed out flags and attach the new one to the pole, I ran to the garage in an effort to find better string. I found fishing wire, which worked perfectly.  Once secured, he put the flag pole over his shoulder, stepped up to his walker, and shuffled across the long porch. He struggled to maneuver down three steps making his way to the driveway and the location of the bracket.

He wanted to hang the flag himself. When it didn’t sit quite right, I asked if I could help him lift the pole to the next level of the bracket.  Seated properly, he stared reverently at Old Glory – the Red and White stripes and the White stars on the blue background waving in the breeze, a nod to his love for his Country. Then he turned and made his way back up the steps, across the porch, and into the house, where he immediately sat down and repositioned the oxygen feed to his face. The struggle was real.

At that time, and now – a year later, I am reminded how freedom is not free. Hundreds of thousands of men and women have made the ultimate mental and physical sacrifices for us to be able to celebrate this day. My wish for today is that each person who lives on American soil will take at least a brief moment to reflect. Sure, America has challenges. Yet, we are still lucky to live in this country. To enjoy freedom and independence. Yes, I am proud to be an American. Happy 4th!

Cynthia

Reiki Healing

by Cynthia, posted in Wellness

Reiki (pronounced ray-key) is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing, according to William Lee Rand in his book Reiki: The Healing Touch. It is primarily a hands-on transfer of energy from an attuned individual to another person, animal, or object. Reiki has become more popular in the West over the past few decades.

All my life I have had an interest in what some would term the esoteric. As a young person I understood the colors of energy and the importance of putting positivity into a room. I was uncomfortable in crowds as the energy from many different people was overwhelming. Of course I was much older and had studied a lot before I really began to understand what I was feeling.

I met a lovely woman who shared with me she was an alcoholic. She said she frequently heard voices and drank to numb her mind and make the voices cease. Eventually, she learned to accept she had a gift and began to embrace the voices. She stopped drinking.  While my experiences were different, sharing this information helped me accept my own level of understanding.  I knew when the time was right, an answer would appear.

When I first learned about Reiki, I could not pinpoint. Yet I do know that two different opportunities arose for me to become familiar with the protocols.  I worked my way through the first and second degrees of Reiki and then was invited to be attuned at both the third degree and the “master” degree, which allowed me then to pass on the tradition.

An acquaintance, many years ago, rejected me because of my use of Reiki, saying it was sacrilegious.  She professed to be a Christian, yet I found her to be quite judgmental without attempting to understand my perspective or to recognizing the many references to people as healers in the Bible. Reiki is not a religion. It is, however, a way of life for those who practice seriously.

For the most part, I use Reiki as a guidepost to daily living.  Dr. Mikao Usui Reiki ideals are a guidepost for living positively. I begin each day citing aloud a translated and abbreviated version. This prayer gives me peace and wellness throughout the day.

Just for today, I will let go of worry.

Just for today, I will let go of anger.

Today, I will count my many blessings.

Today, I will work hard on my spirituality.

Today, I will be kind to all living things.

~Cynthia