Beware of Scammers!

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

We all have heard it before. We watch in awe as the nightly new reports on yet another person falling for a financial scam. We think how can people be so stupid? How can people be so unware?! Well, it’s easy to be a victim of scams these days.

Scammers are becoming more and more sophisticated at their jobs.  Yes, their jobs. These people have perfected their craft. They are trained to the most minute detail in the art of building trust with the victim before cleaning them out. And the real kicker, is they are not exactly doing anything illegal. Certainly the perpetrators are unethical. But in the eyes of the financial industry, you are complicit. Therefore, banks will not help you recover your funds – money you “willingly” gave to a stranger.

Most of us get text messages and/or emails from our banks when a potentially unauthorized charge or withdrawal comes from our bank accounts or credit cards. Scammers use this fact to prey on people’s concern.  A scammer’s text usually comes from a legitimate-looking phone number rather than the five-digit coded number of automatic messaging. They can spoof your bank’s number.

Scammers will ask you in the text to respond Y or 1 if the charge is yours; N or 2 if it is not. Of course they know it is not your charge; they made it up. Once you unthinkingly respond, they immediately call, saying they are from the fraud department of your bank and that someone is trying to get into your account. They may say they are already working with the FBI. They may say someone at the bank is suspected to be in cahoots with the illegal activity.  Now, your concern is heightened and you want to work with the person who is being helpful and trying to protect your interests. They have you!

They will tell you – for your protection – that they have created a new account for you. They ask you to load the account number on your phone’s wallet.  Then withdraw cash from your bank account or credit card and deposit the money at an ATM just outside the bank. Next you are instructed to delete the account from your phone’s wallet as this was a temporary card and a new one has been issued, which you will receive in the mail in a few days.

If you do everything that is suggested, the bank considers this your choice.  You can file a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission and your local police department but don’t expect to see your money again.

All of this sounds incredible. However, people are being scammed every day. Some people have lost in the six figures! The scammers are becoming more and more sophisticated.  Our best defense is to remember always be present in the moment.  Answer texts only when you know the person sending.  Never engage in a conversation with an unsolicited caller. And banks and other financial institutions will never ask you to withdraw your money, especially in cash.

Awareness is the best defense.

A Wing and A Prayer

by sssmahh303, posted in Friends and Family

Mary Ann

This is my family’s Veteran’s Day story – 

During WWII, my father was a P51 Mustang fighter pilot with the 15th Air Force, 51st Fighter Wing, Group 325, and Squadron 319 in the European Theater that included Africa, Europe, and the Middle East.  He was a member of the Checkerboard Clan – that is the tail patterns that identified the different squadrons.  Being a P51 Mustang fighter pilot in WWII was like being an X-Wing Starfighter pilot in Star War Movies – brave warriors.  He flew 51 missions. 

He was that all-American boy from small town America who was doing his duty for his country.  He was the best of the Greatest Generation. 

This is the public story, but I would like to share his own Greatest Generation Story that he shared in recent years with friends and family.  

As the Germans were leaving Greece at the end of the WWII, my father was on a mission to attack them in the former Yugoslavia.  When his group left in the morning, the weather was bad and grew worse as the day progressed.   During the mission, his plane was hit with shrapnel, and the instruments ceased to function.  Upon leaving the area, he was separated from the group.  Now lost, he was surrounded by white clouds and could not see anything.  He did not know where he was – the compass was broken.  He knew if he would fly higher, he would need oxygen, but the oxygen was not working so at that height, he would pass out and crash.  If he flew low, he could possibly run into a mountain or run out of gas and plunge into the ocean.  He had few options.   

At that moment, he said a prayer asking God for help, and the surrounding white opened with a patch of blue.  He flew through it, and he was over a river that he followed to the sea.  He was saved.  

However, it did not end there.  My father’s plane was nearly out of gas, so he had to land.  There was an island, Vis, off the coast of the former Yugoslavia that was used as a base to rescue downed pilots.   If you saw the second Mama Mia movie, that was the island of Vis. There was uncertainty about who would greet him upon landing.  There were both Serbs and Croatians on the island.  If the Serbs found you, they would turn you over to the Germans, and you would be a POW.  If the Croatians rescued you, they would help you.   Luckily, the Croatians found him, sheltered him, and got him fuel for his plane so he could fly back to Italy in the morning.

My father came back to the United States after he completed his 51 missions to prepare to leave for the Japanese Theater.  Then, Hiroshima happened, and the war ended.  He returned to civilian life; however, he remained in the Air Force Reserves until he retired in 1986.

My father and our family would not be here if it were not for that prayer.  I often say that we are all here because of a wing and a prayer.  Thank you for a well-built P51 and the grace of God.  My father, as a teacher and coach, has made a difference in the world touching the lives of countless young people.  Imagine if he had not.

Make the Usual Unusual!

by sssmahh303, posted in Lifestyle

Mary Ann

I like to take something and give it a new purpose. I have made tables out of wicker animals or wrought iron planters.  Just add a piece of glass and voila, you have a table.  Sometimes I create these things out of necessity. I can’t find the right thing, so I figure out how to use something else to accomplish what I need.

Case in point, I needed a hamper, waste can, and tissue box for a bathroom and just couldn’t find what I wanted so I found some white planters (Shabby Chic looking) at an import store and used them.  I added a mesh bag to the big planter for a hamper.  The small planter perfectly held a boutique tissue box, and a little footed planter became the waste can.  I suddenly had a garden.  

Then I needed some storage for the same bathroom.  I kept looking for a basket or a box for my perfumes.  Nothing seemed right.  One night I dreamt that I put my perfumes in a birdcage. The next day at Marshall’s, I found the very birdcage that was in my dream.  However, it was black rather than white, and that was easy to fix.  It was one of the few times in my life where a dream came true.  

I got other white birdcages to store bath salts and oils, sponges and loofahs, and a big one to keep toilet paper.  The birdcages fit right in with the planters for a garden feel.  It was fun to grow the idea and find the pieces to make it real.  

These ideas are probably on Pinterest, but I have never really used the platform.  I am a little scared that once I started using it, I would never surface. I would get lost in all the creative ideas.  

I encourage you to try to take something ordinary and make into something extraordinary.  It is fun to experiment and see where your creativity will take you.  Sometimes necessity is the mother of invention, and where it takes you can be an adventure!   

Surcees

by sssmahh303, posted in Friends and Family

Mary Ann

When I moved to South Carolina to take an administrative position in1994, I was introduced to a tradition that I have taken to heart and have practiced ever since. Someone gave me a small welcome gift that she called a Surcee.  I had not heard the term before, so I was curious what it was. The lady said it was a sweet remembrance.  

Since then, I have found online a complete definition of the word.  A Surcee is a small, unexpected gift given to express love and thoughtfulness.  The expression should be small, meaningful, can be festive, and focuses on thinking of you.  There are many spellings of Surcee – cercie, surcie, circi, seary, or sirces, but the meaning is all the same.  Originally, the tradition came from Scotland and Ireland, and today it is centered in the Carolinas.

This tradition was right up my alley.  I used to make small gifts for my students when I was in the classroom, and they were surcees.  I didn’t know it.  In South Carolina, I began doing yearly themes with my faculty and would give surcees throughout the year to let the teachers know I was thinking of them and to encourage and inspire them as they taught.  When I moved to New York City for another administrative position, I carried on the practice.   

Then I retired, and I still make surcees for the holidays for my friends, neighbors, doctors, and other people who help me.  It always surprises my neighbors when they open their mailboxes and find a treat of some sort! It really surprises the doctors.  I don’t think people remember their doctors in this way; however, they seem to really appreciate a small token of kindness.

 Surcees are not expensive.  I often go to The Dollar Tree and get holiday containers such as little Halloween bucket or plastic hearts and fill them with holiday candies.  I do buy foiled-wrapped chocolates at a local chocolate shop, and that is a bit pricey but so yummy!  You can buy little cellophane bags that you fill the same way then tie with pretty ribbon. You put together a little assembly line and in no time, you are done! 

I put the surcees in the mailboxes or at the front doors of neighbors.  I take surcees to a Valentine dinner, for example, as favors.  I take them to doctor’s appointments and end our time together with a surcee that I usually put in a little bag, so they aren’t carrying around a little ghost bucket.  It makes me happy to make other people happy.   It is worth all the work to make someone smile.

Why not try making surcees for the people in your life?  It can be a surprise for them, but it will be a bigger surprise for you how happy it makes you.

Happy Halloween

by Cynthia, posted in Wellness

Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays – if you can actually classify it as such. A holiday is “a day of festivity or recreation when no work is done” according to the Oxford Language Dictionary. In America, as in some other countries, Halloween is recognized as a fun day to adorn ourselves in costume, decorate the house and yard, and share goodies with neighbors – especially the children. And celebrating with family and friends is a great way to shed stress and build wellness.

My fourth-grade teacher – an unmarried woman who never had children – piled on the homework that year on Halloween. She thought it immoral that children would go door-to-door begging for candy.  I will never forget how angry she was when talking about Halloween. Her comments in that witchy tone of voice left a lasting impression. I thought at the time, how sad for her, not to be able to enjoy the laughter and camaraderie surrounding the day.

Fast forward to today. Several years ago in my current neighborhood I would hand out more than 250 pieces of candy. The doorbell rang so much that I finally resolved to standing at an open door awaiting the little ghosts, goblins, witches, princesses, knights, and more.

I so enjoy decorating, although I stay away from the gory, opting more for the delightful skeletons, pumpkins, and witches hats and brooms. In the past I had to make my own décor as decorating for this celebration has not yet caught on. But now! So many options!  One year I sat skeletons at a table with witches hats hanging overhead. I won Yard-of-the-Month because the neighbors enjoyed walking or driving by. Last year the skeletons were raking and planting flowers.

Interestingly, Hallowe’en has been recognized by other names. Allhalloween, All Hallows’ Eve, All Saints’ Eve. In the liturgical calendar the day is for remembering the dearly departed*. Some believe the tradition was influenced by the Gaelic / Celtic festival of Samhain. The day has long been celebrated in Ireland and Scotland, bringing the traditions to North American the 19th century.

Whatever the history, Halloween has become the beginning of the holiday season for many of us.  My brother would call this time of year ChristhanksOween. Our family celebrates a lot of October birthdays through his which was early in December. Several religions celebrate various  traditions during this time of year.

Regardless of one’ religious  beliefs, Halloween has come to be celebrated widely as a fun day for kids of all ages and stages to express themselves through costume, sharing delight with family and friends. It’s a day for letting of steam in a jovial way. So from my [haunted] house to yours, Happy Halloween!

*A Mexican holiday for which we also decorate and remember our loved ones who have passed is Dia de Los Muertos – Day of the Dead – celebrated on November 1 and 2.

Collections!

by sssmahh303, posted in Taking Care of Business

Mary Ann

My family is a family of collectors!  We love the thrill of the “chase” for that next piece.  My brother use to say as we pulled up to a flea market, “Are you salivating yet?”  We were, so the quest began! 

There is a saying that is the ethos of my family.  If you have one of anything, it is a sample.  If you have two of something, you a sample and a backup should the sample break.  And if you have three of something, you have a collection.  We live by that saying.   

We are hunters and gathers by nature that is deep in our DNA, and I think it translates to collecting in modern times.  It is fun to wile away the hours on a weekend jaunt to a flea market or an antique mall or investigating local garage sales.  And when you find a treasure that you have been searching for, the joy is indescribable!  Whatever the price, it is cheaper than therapy and so much more fun!

When I was little, my mother would take my brother and me with her on her treasure hunting.  I hated it. I was soooooo bored.  I swore that I would not have antiques in my home, or I would never collect anything.  However, I did have a stamp collection and porcelain dog collection.  Then, of course, there was Barbie.  Around the time I turned 25, I had an epiphany – antiques are beautiful!  The collecting began, and I never looked back.  My mother started buying 3 of everything – antique rolling pins or potato mashers or whatever.  I couldn’t get enough.  My brother was far ahead of me.  He and his partner have a gigantic Fiesta Ware collection that pales anything I have

So, the house filled, and I collected doorstops, chocolate molds, napkin rings, all kinds of kitchen items, baskets, crocks, rug beaters, opera glasses, prints, post cards, sheet music, baby items, doorknobs, linens, quilts, book markers, antique jewelry and bags, old cameras, bamboo furniture, Annalee dolls, and a huge collection of Candlewick that fills two big cabinets.  I am sure I am missing some. I know I have a problem, and what is funny, I am now downsizing many of the collections in my Swedish Death Cleaning.  

My children or grandchildren will not want most of the items.  I might as well sell the collections if I can get a good price.  You must find a buyer, however. Case in point is my Barbie.  I was older when Barbie came on the scene.  I took very good care of the doll, her clothes, her furniture, and accessories.  I then carried her around the country with me for 60 plus years.  I finally decide to sell her. I got two appraisals, so I had some idea of her value.  A toy dealer is now selling her for me.  She hasn’t found a new home yet!   

Ebay and other like sites are now the new marketplace.  It is fun to peruse the various sites, and I have found items on them.  However, there is something missing when you cannot touch an item as you hunt for pieces.  Many young people are beginning to have epiphanies themselves about the beauty of antiques and the thrill of collecting.  It fits well with sustainability and is helping the earth.  Do you really need flimsy Ikea furniture when you can have solid wooden furniture with dove-tailed drawers and gorgeous patina?  Old furniture was made to last.   

Women of certain age understand this.  For many of us, we are the keepers of the family treasures.  The antiques are passed down and stop with us.  Then what? You debate to find new homes among the relatives or keep it because it is piece of your family.   I finally have concluded that I am going to enjoy my collections, my antiques as long as I can.  Whoever gets the pieces afterwards, even if they are not family, will be people who really want them.  It will be a fellow collector, and could that be any better?  

Note – There are some good collection books available that will give you ideas for collections and how to display them.  Collections Projects & Ideas from Better Homes and Garden, Collector’s Style, Decorating With the Things You Love from Better Homes and Garden, and Victoria’s The Art of Collecting, Personal Treasures That Make a Home by Melissa Lester.  There are many books on a particular collection such as Fiesta Ware.  They will give you in depth info on your collections.

A Discovery of Witches

by sssmahh303, posted in Reviews

Mary Ann

The world has had great lovers over the years.  There was Romeo and Juliette, Rhett and Scarlett, and Kathy and Heathcliff.  Their love stories have captured our imaginations and remain in a corner of our romantic selves.  However, there is another set of lovers that you might not know but would enjoy their story – Vampire Mathew Clairmont and Witch Diana Bishop.  

Author Deborah Harkness created a world of humans, witches, vampires, and daemons in the All Souls Trilogy that includes   A Discovery of Witches, Shadow of Night and The Book of Life.  A romance between Diana and Mathew blooms as their paths cross at Oxford. This is a forbidden love among the creatures. Vampires and Witches do not get involved – no dating app for them! The books captures the beginning of their love, time travel to the past so Diana can hone her weaver spell skills, and the struggles between the creatures as the peace between them is threatened. 

My own discovery happened when I read a review about the first book, A Discovery of Witches, bought the book, and fell in love with the characters.  I could not wait for the next book to be released. The story unfolds, and you just want to know more about the creatures and their world. 

Lucky us, the story does not end with the trilogy. There are two additional volumes, Time’s Convert, and most recent, Black Bird Oracle.  Harkness is a very clever writer in the tradition of J.K. Rowling.  A Discovery of Witches is Harry Potter for grownups.  Just as Rowling created owls delivering mail or a new game like Quidditch on flying brooms.  Harkness has memories stored in memory bottles and time travel is called time walking.  All fun!

In Harkness’s last book, Black Bird Oracle, the ending left the door open for more books.  There are questions that need answers. I can’t wait for the next adventure.  

There is a bonus with these books.  AMC+ made the books come alive in their three season TV series.  The shows follow the books carefully.  There is wonderful chemistry between Vampire Mathew (Mathew Goode – you remember him from Downton Abbey) and Witch Diana (Teresa Palmer).  Recently, the series have been featured on Netflix. Unfortunately, there are no plans to produce season 4.  However, you never know.  There is nothing like the love of a good vampire.

At this witchy time of the year, both the books and TV series are a fun way to enjoy the creatures of Halloween. I have loved the books and seeing them come alive on TV has been just a cherry on top! I hope that you will find this as well.

Violets

by sssmahh303, posted in Lifestyle

Mary Ann

When I was young, we visited my grandparents every weekend.  Upon entering the house, the aroma of baking bread tickled your nose, and the cacophonies of my grandfather’s clock collection ticked and chimed away to greet us. 

When you walked into the dining room, there were three large window that faced the outdoors.  Bright, filtered light flooded the room.  On each of the windows, there were several glass shelves (a forerunner of today’s floating shelves) filled with African violets.  Varying hues of pink, purple, white, and blue were scattered among the shelves.  There were about 30 little pots.  It was magical to me.  Violets always remind me of my grandmother.  

My grandparents lived in a small town away from nurseries, so her violet collection was probably generated through pass-along stems from neighbors and friends.  I am sure she shared her violets with them as well.

I have violets in my kitchens that live in front of a wall of windows with bright, indirect light -a perfect place for violets to grow!  There are three violets, two purple and one pink, that are nestled in a grapevine basket.  I have named the violets after my great-grandmothers, Millie ad Maggie, and my grandmother, Grace.  They make me happy, and I will often have a little chat with them.

In the language of flowers, violets symbolize faith, mystical awareness, inspiration, spiritual passion, profuseness, and sovereignty.  Purple violets represent love, and white violets represent innocence.   

Originally, violets came from the jungles of Tanzania and southeastern Kenya.  Violets are easy to grow – good light, watering once a week keeping the soil moist, and fertilizer when they stop blooming.  I use the same fertilizer as my grandmother – Schultz’s African Violet.  Violets can live as long as 50 years so you can have endless blooms for years to come. 

When my grandmother passed, I was living far away from the family, so I didn’t get back for the funeral. The following summer when I did come home, I took a violet to put on her grave.  It was a nice moment of closure.  My grandmother is with me always, and my violets remind me of her daily.  However, I wish I could once again smell her baking bread.

Dining Alone

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

Some of my friends have lamented they are finding themselves alone for dinner.  In the past, many of us refused to go to a restaurant without a friend, a date, or possibly another family member. Personally, I rarely went to a restaurant alone, even when on a business trip.  It just felt awkward. Upon reflection, I imagine it was more a lack of self-confidence.  I mean, I ate.  I ate alone. Yet, I was alone in my hotel room or at home.

Have you dined alone this year?  If so, you are in good company.  OpenTable reported that 60% of Americans have dined alone at least once in 2024.  That figure is up 29% over the previous two years. One reason for this may be because people are working remotely. Or they are marrying later and thus living alone (which is quite a conjecture, in my humble opinion). Debby Soo, CEO at OpenTable suggests enjoying one’s own company is a result of the broader movement of self-care.

Reflecting on dining alone made me think.  At our age, many of us are finding ourselves alone for the first time, having lost a spouse or a family member or a friend. It’s a hazard of aging. Another reason may be that we are more discerning about how we spend our time and with whom. We no longer feel obligated to go out with acquaintances just to be with someone, especially those we tolerate, rather than enjoy.

I have spent most of my adult life as a single, professional, woman. I recall decades ago coming to the realization that I can enjoy dining alone.  I took to heart an article I read that suggested setting a lovely table, even if it is only for myself. That must be part of the reason I began tablescaping. Over the years I have found gazing out the window, listening to music, or enjoying the flicker of a candle while eating was as satisfying as being in a restaurant.

On another note, when eating at a restaurant, I would take along a notepad or a book.  If I began to feel conspicuous, I would simply pull out the book and read or jot notes about things that needed to be done.

In other words, I learned eating alone gave me another level of independence and confidence. And, when the opportunity presents itself to share mealtime with another person, I will always enjoy the company, knowing it is a choice, rather than feeling the need to have a dining partner. Bon appetite!

Little Provence

by sssmahh303, posted in Wellness

Mary Ann

I love everything French! I love the food, the wine, the country, the antiques, the museums, and the language – though I butcher it.  I am a Francophile!  

I own about 100 books both fiction and nonfiction about living in France.  I love the stories where someone leaves their lives and goes to a region of France and make a new life often restoring an old farmhouse and discovering villages full of quirky characters.  I have always yearned to do just that.  Peter Mayle’s adventures in Provence ignited that desire.  I have read every word he ever wrote. Provence seems like heaven on earth. 

So, when I did my patio garden over from an ugly, barren concrete slab, I had visions of French sugar plums dancing in my head.  This new garden was going to be French.  That meant tons of pea gravel.  Pea gravel makes everything French. The contractor delivered, and if I closed my eyes, the crunch of the pea gravel underfoot took me to Provence.

Then it was flower, flowers, flowers!  I found antique flower boxes that I hung from the garden walls and filled them full of calibrachoa that spilled over the boxes.  There was ferns, hostas, hydrangea, coleus, agapanthus, Angelonia, salvia, and moonflowers.  I scattered rusting, white wrought-iron furniture and planters around the garden.  I recently added a little frog fountain for a water feature.  I used wicker outdoor furniture with blue and white provincial fabric cushions for seating. Blue and white pots filled with colorful inpatients. nestled throughout the garden. It is a peaceful oasis in a frenzied world. 

A friend of mind called the patio garden Little Provence.  It is my outside happy place. From May to nearly November, I sit outside in the morning and enjoy my little piece of France.  I read, meditate, pray, do brain games, listen to my Merlin app – I have leaned many bird songs, and hope to see a hummingbird or a butterfly while I sip my morning tea.  I sometime hear bees buzzing as they harvested the nectar from the flowers.   The cicadas and crickets begin singing their songs as summer ends. If you were in Provence, you would be hearing the cigales, the French word for cicadas.

  

Beyond the garden fence is a hedgerow of trees.  They tower about, and you can see the birds and squirrels flitting around the branches. It has been found that trees give off terpenes that are like pheromones in animals. Each kind of tree gives off a different scent that addresses things like inflammation and mood enhancement for anxiety or depression.  It is being studied to see how the trees may help people.  The terpenes may be one reason that forest bathing is so popular today. 

My Little Provence is my peaceful retreat from the world.  All my senses (maybe the terpenes) are enhanced. I enjoy the serenity of the space, and my soul is enriched as I care for myself.  It is truly Joie de Vivre which is French for an exuberant enjoyment of life!   I wish that for you.