Giving Spirit: Charitable Donations

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

Why do people make charitable contributions in December?  To lessen the tax burden, the time of year makes no difference. If your cash donations are significant enough to count as an income tax deduction, they are reported for the year, thus January through December.  Still, Nonprofit Source reports that one-third of all cash contributions to non-profit organizations are received in December. Ten percent of all giving comes in the last three days of the year. According to Bloomerang, nearly half of not-for-profit revenue arrives from October through December.

One reason people wait may be due to a heightened awareness of need as the days become shorter (at least in terms of daylight) and the weather is cooler. Holidays lighten our spirits, and we become more thoughtful of the needs of others. We reflect on the bounties we enjoyed during the year and want to “give back.”  And for high-income earners, their net pay may be higher due to caps on annual federal payments or year-end bonuses.

Many people who make charitable contributions have specific organizations they like to support. If you wonder how the not-for-profit uses your donation, several organizations monitor nonprofit organizations and their financial well-being.  I have used GuideStar to review nonprofits’ financial health and other data.  GuideStar houses data for almost three million nonprofits. Doing your research gives you peace of mind, knowing how charities rank based on effectiveness or efficiency.
They review donors, volunteers, and administration of these organizations.  In most cases, the nonprofit organizations self-report but in some cases the reviewing organization does its own research. GuideStar, Charity Navigator, Givewell, and Great Nonprofits are a few.

Remember local charities, also. There are groups to which I donate lightly used items throughout the year, but often forget they also need cash to support their missions.

Importantly, one should know about the health, status, and focus of the organization to which you are donating.  Don’t go strictly by the name of the organization, assuming their work focuses only on the needs in their name. Personify WildApricot states that two-thirds of donors do not do their research!

I have recently joined a nonprofit organization whose sole purpose is to donate large sums to other nonprofits.  The idea is that I can make a donation which of course is appreciated; however, when several of us pool our money, we can make larger donations ($100,000) to a few nonprofits.  With that kind of money, their agendas are better supported, and their dreams get a huge kick start. The impact of each large donation makes a huge difference in our community. Of course a nonprofit must apply for the grant and rise to the top of a well-designed vetting and evaluation process.

People and organizations are stretched thin financially. As we consider our hard-earned dollars going to help others, we want to feel confident that the money truly helps make a difference. With a little research and a big heart, even a few dollars will make a difference. So large or small, carefully give as you are moved to do so, knowing your contribution is sincerely appreciated.

Finding Christmas Cheer

by Cynthia, posted in Reviews

One of the most popular storytellers of current times is James Patterson. My aunt loves to read his novels about the Women’s Murder Club, Alex Cross, Maximum Ride and others. Several people enjoy his biographies – stories about well-known figures in politics, entertainment, and even military, police and medical service heroes. Why would I write about violent mysteries smack dab in the middle of holidays season. [Yes, lots of traditions celebrate various holidays this time of year.]

Mr. Patterson has collaborated with writers such as Michael Crichton, Dolly Parton, and even Bill Clinton.  Recently, Mr. Patterson has paired with Tad Safran who writes for TV, film, podcasts, newspapers and books.

This season the gentlemen have produced a timely fantasy centered on the traditional carol of gifts for one’s true love. Many parodies are based on this 1780s song and this story may be considered one such parody, although …. Well, I don’t want to spoil the punch line. Or the story line for that matter. Suffice it to say, the 276-page paperback The Twelve Topsy-Turvy, Very Messy Days of Christmas is a delightful and easy read. It’s just what we need this time of year.

Take a break from decorating, grab a cup of hot tea, cocoa, or coffee with rich cream from the cows in your back yard, put your feet up (if you can find a place to sit) and enjoy the story of Henry, the professorial father who has lost Christmas after the passing of his beloved wife, and Will and Ella, their disappointed children who wish for happiness, good food, and laughter – and Christmas – in their home once again.

Enjoy the antics resulting in gifts from Ms. TrueLove as observed by Dean Grumpf, Dr. Fringe, and Marianna, not to mention the neighbors. If the finale doesn’t delight you, beware.  I may just send you gifts for twelve days.

Annual All Girls’ Movie Night

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

Several years ago I was searching for festivities that would replace Christmas parties so mom could celebrate the season in style, while staying home. I came upon the idea of an all-girls’ Christmas Movie Night. My daughter and granddaughter are local. My sister and her daughter live a little more than three hours away.  So we made it a weekend – celebrating the first annual Christmas season kickoff for mom’s benefit several years ago.

My sister and I love a good theme to direct our gatherings and the Annual Girls’ Christmas Movie Weekend is no exception. The first year was “Let it Snow” – everyone received a Christmas or winter-theme throw as a favor. Our goodies included snowflake cookies, along with other yummy snacks. Glitter was everywhere. And we watched White Christmas.

Another year’s theme was Slumber Party. Each lady received pajamas. One year was Breakfast at Tiffany’s and the favors became robes, sleeping masks, lip gloss and fake jewelry.   There were a few others up until last year when we went full-on Grinch! Green everywhere, including the punch. And of course we watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas. My sister got mom an animated Grinch doll. Mom laughed every time it danced across the floor. She showed every hospice visitor and anyone else who stopped in to say hello.

Sadly, mom will not be with us this year. To continue the tradition but in an attempt to lighten our spirits, the weekend has been moved to my sister’s home. My daughter, granddaughter, and I will travel on a Friday morning, arriving in time for lunch and some Christmas shopping.  Afterwards we will build gingerbread houses (from kits!) and watch a movie.  You may guess our theme is Gingerbread this year.

My favors will be glass “cans” with metal reusable straws from 1Canoe2 which are adorned with gingerbread houses. Staying in that vein, I have included gingerbread shaped and flavored marshmallow from Walmart (the only place I could find them!); gingerbread men hot cocoa bombs from Target; gingerbread themed cupcake papers; and a gingerbread figure ornament.  Items fit neatly into cute gingerbread house bags I found at Hallmark. Gift tags are miniature gingerbread ornaments on which I wrote each person’s name.

Each of us bring some kind of favor – a small gift that accompanies the theme. How fun it is to discover our creativity in selecting our respective favors.

Of course the best part is to have some girl time with sisters, daughters, nieces, aunts.  Sorry, guys. You are on your own for the weekend. My grandson will house sit and my son-in-law will keep their fur babies company. Admittedly, I leave a special little “something” for them, too. And we will raise a glass – of gingerbread cocoa – to our mom who is now an angel, looking down on us and laughing.

The 12 Days of Christmas

by sssmahh303, posted in Friends and Family

Mary Ann

The 12 Days of Christmas starts on Christmas Day and ends on January 5th, the day before Epiphany. In our family, my grandson’s birthday is January 5th. I decided that I was going to celebrate these 12 days in a special way for my grandchildren.  I wasn’t going to get them calling birds or a partridge in a pear tree or leaping lords.  I was going to do something unique for them starting on Christmas and ending with my grandson’s birthday.  

The first year, I went overboard and bought expensive gifts as all grandparents do.  I wrapped them all up and presented the grandchildren a box of 12 gifts each, and this was after opening all their Christmas presents. The whole idea was that they would open one gift a day until my grandson’s birthday thus celebrating the 12 Days of Christmas.  

As all children would do, they opened all the gifts at once.  My bad.  Their parents weren’t happy that I added more stuff to already too much stuff from Christmas.  My bad!  The concept was good, the execution was not.  I was going to have to rethink the whole idea.  

So, the following Christmas I got sets of 12 mini stockings that were about 4 inches tall for each grandchild and paired down the gifts to things that would fit in the little stockings.  I got the stockings at Big Lots, but Amazon, of course, offers a variety of stocking sizes and prices. I filled them with candy, a match box car, a small game, a bookmarker, money, lip gloss, and whatever action figure was the “it” toy that year.  I put the little stockings in a holiday bag and told the grandchildren that they could only open one stocking a day.  Part of the fun was reaching in the bag to pick a random stocking.  The toy or whatever occupied them for the day for the most part.  I collected the stocking after the 12 days finished to use them again the next year. And so, the tradition began.

When I suggested that I was going to stop the stockings since they were now older, there was a rebellion.  They didn’t want to stop. When they got older, I got them gift cards for iTunes or stores, movies passes, jewelry, makeup and hair adornments, and on and on.  It was good to see them still excited about Christmas and that the 12 Days of Christmas was our unique family tradition.

It was always fun for me to “shop” all year for the stockings.  I was always searching for something special for the grandchildren.  I hope this tradition will be a nice Christmas memory for them, and maybe they will do this for their children and grandchildren.  This can be a special tradition to adopt for any family. It is a fun way to celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas!  

75 Hard / 75 Soft / Personalized

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

I have always believed it takes 40 days to make or break a habit. That’s why I found 75 Hard to be an interesting approach to achieving a desired lifestyle.

Andy Frisella is a “best selling author, highly sought after consultant and public speaker.” Many enthusiasts know of the challenge he put forward in 2019 called 75 Hard. His book 75 Hard: A Tactical Guide to Winning the War with Yourself is said to help a person gain mental toughness and achieve one’s real potential. 75 Hard became an internet sensation.

When I first heard about it more than a year ago, I knew I would not be successful in completing the 75 Hard Challenge.  The challenge is extreme goal setting, with predefined rules.  To say you have achieved the goal, you must complete five specified tasks every day for 75 days without fail. No cheat days. No days off. In fact, if you miss one of the tasks on any given day, you must start over to honestly say you completed the 75 Hard Challenge.

The daily rules that must be followed for 75 consecutive days are

  1. Follow a structured diet without deviations, alcohol, nor cheat meals.
  2. Two 45-minute workouts per day, one of which must be outside regardless of the weather.
  3. Drink a gallon of water.
  4. Read at least ten non-fiction, educational pages geared toward improving your life
  5. Take a progress picture.

The idea behind the challenge is to build confidence, self-esteem, fortitude and discipline – all great attributes to have.

Much has been written and reported about the value, or lack thereof, of following this program. Some question its extreme rules suggesting it could trigger individuals into making unhealthy decisions. For me, this pointed to the problem the author was trying to address – people need to think for themselves and act accordingly.

I liked the concept if not the actual challenge. Much as a New Year’s resolution or a health and fitness goal, the 75 Hard Challenge is a guideline for a healthy lifestyle focusing on mental, physical, and emotional improvement.  So, I built a personal challenge* and set a time-line of 40 days. Additionally, I allowed one cheat day per week. A day off, if you will. A day of rest for my mind and body. I found that day was the hardest! I learned through the process that taking a “me day” was my biggest challenge.

Ultimately, my take-away is this. Evaluate your own needs periodically. Ask yourself what you need, to be the person you wish to be. Then set your own guidelines as goals and work towards achieving those changes in lifestyle. You will come out on the other end proud of your achievement, knowing you did it for yourself.

*My Daily Personal Challenge included riding my exercise bike for at least 30 minutes, drinking a glass of water every 90 minutes, going to bed at approximately the same time every night, and writing a minimum of 1,000 words. I also eliminated take-out food during that 40-day period. Taking a daily picture did NOT make my list!

Ready, Set, (Letting) Go

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

Last May, Mary Ann posted about dostadning – the Swedish art of death cleaning. The idea is to free oneself from clutter – to let go. It’s a way to take control of one’s surroundings, freeing future generations for having to deal with one’s “treasures.”

Having cared for my mother for more than six years, I appreciated her lack of sentimentality. She had no clutter in her home. Still, when I had to sell her house, it took some effort to distribute her belongings among siblings (hers and mine), donations, and garbage.  From that point forward I thought of what my poor daughter would have to deal with if I suddenly dropped dead!

My goodies are organized, as I have mentioned before. Still, the inventory of the labeled storage tubs, the multiple sets of dishes, the outrageously full closet of office supplies, and all the collectibles and art will be overwhelming with which to deal.

I enjoy my “stuff”! And I use it. However, lately I have begun to be able to part with things.  I remember a conversation with my executive coach several years ago. I had decorated my dining room and formal living room with female art. My comment to him was that it seemed I didn’t allow space for a man in my life. His reflection was this: “when the time is right, you will make room.”  I have not forgotten because this simple observation was meaningful to me.  And guess what. The time is now right.

Not for a man in my life, but for letting go.  Without trying I have come to the conclusion that I don’t need … or even want … all the stuff. All of the sudden I am ready to relinquish my hold on items that were dear to me in the past.  Frankly, it is a relief!

I know at some point I will want to live in a senior village and will not be able to take a houseful and a lifetime of trinkets, décor, and entertainment pieces. I am finding it satisfying to find people who want my things or organizations who can sell it to support their cause.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I have more than enough to keep me busy for a few years of cleaning, boxing, organizing, and distributing.  Yet I feel lighter already knowing that things my younger self enjoyed no longer have a hold on me.  The time is right. Rest assured, you will be able to let go, too … when you are Ready. Set. You’ll Let Go!

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

by Cynthia, posted in Reviews

By Betty Smith (Elisabeth Wehner, born in 1896)

This American classic falls in the Young Adult genre yet is instructive for adults of all ages. The book is an account of the life of Francis, a girl who lives in poverty early in the 1900s. Told through the eyes of Francis in the form of five books, the author shares an almost autobiographical treatise of her experiences and varying relationships. The story highlights the way she interprets each encounter — each observation through the lens of her age and situation.

I found the book to be harsh and, unfortunately, real. While the universal themes of poverty, alcoholism, and education are pervasive, the story highlights the human spirit … or lack thereof. There is, throughout, the failure of women to uplift and support each other – to find fault in others who struggle equally yet differently and separately. At the same time, the theme of tenacity runs consistently through Frances’s life.

Tales of discrimination which reminded me of how cruel people can be even today, after all we have experienced and observed. Discrimination is in the form of race, color, politics, socio-economic status, and gender.

I found the character development weak, the writing mediocre, and the plot almost non-existent. But what do I know?  This book was an immediate success and was in its second printing when it was officially published in 1943. Ms. Smith entered the book as a piece of non-fiction into a Harper and Brothers competition. At the publisher’s recommendation, she changed the title and the classification to fiction. This publication was one of the most widely mailed to service men in World War II.

Obviously, I am far from a literary genius. I wonder how some publications become “classics” while other, more meaningful works fall by the wayside. Yet, this coming of age story truly reflects life as we knew it then and know it now. From my reaction, one might think I didn’t appreciate the read.  On the contrary, I recommend it.  Sometimes a classic just needs to be read. We need to recognize the themes and the struggles of the characters. Hopefully, the exercise will help us reflect on our own lives – the way we live each day and how we treat others.  And maybe, just maybe, the world will become a better place, as we learn from our errors and strive to rise above, lifting others as we go.

The Nest

by sssmahh303, posted in Lifestyle

Mary Ann

People over the centuries have named their homes.  There is Mt. Vernon or Monticello. Palaces and estates have names like Buckingham and Versailles.  We want to make our homes unique so giving them names make our domiciles very special.  It may be a way for the rich and famous to keep their different homes straight in their minds. 

I have given my townhouse a special name, but in truth the house named itself. When I bought my townhouse, the former owner had a wreath on the front door.  At closing, I got my keys and was so excited to be going home!  Well, I got there, and a house finch had set up housekeeping in the wreath.  We could not use the front door until mama bird fledged her babies.  For six weeks we used the garage to enter the house.  Finally, a For Rent sign appeared on the nest, and we could use the front door. 

For the next 18 months, the house was renovated and shortly afterward, I retired and moved my life to the new house.  My apartment furnishings arrived shortly after my final day at work, and when the movers were moving me in, one of them said, “You have a friend.”  We went outside and right near the front door a female mallard had built a nest in the middle of the pachysandra.  I am sure mama duck thought she had found a quiet place to raise her family.  No one was living in the house.  My townhouse is across the street from a pond.  It was location, location, location. The duck real estate agent did a bait and switch not revealing to Mama Duck that she had a human neighbor.  So once again we avoided using the first door.  However, you could look at her as she was incubating her eggs.  She was so still that I am sure she didn’t think we could see her. 

Fast forward, mama duck did her duty until one day about a month later, the ducklings hatched.  This little brood of ducks moved in a tight formation together around my front porch and driveway.  Mama duck was nowhere to be found.  I called the wildlife center to see if mother ducks left their babies alone.  They told me that they never leave their babies, and that I needed to bring them in for care.   Something happened to mama duck.  I gave it until the next morning in case their mama did come back. 

My nine baby duck guests were still huddled together on the porch the next morning.  My brother and I began catching them and putting them in a box to take them to the wildlife center. Baby ducks are so soft and so cute.  I put a pan of water in the box.  By the time we got to the center, the babies were all in the water.  They just knew what to do.

At the wildlife center, the ducklings were given a chance to safely grow up.  I was given a code to call and check on their progress.  All nine babies made it to adulthood and were released.  In the wild, it would be good if half of them made it.  Mama duck was a good mother and probably gave her life to save her babies.  We got them to the right people so they could grow up.  I did keep the broken light green eggs in a jar, and they are on my shelf of nature artifacts. Sweet reminder!

Since then, I have had nests in planters and gutters and nearby trees.  I am sure you know what I named my house – The Nest!  You probably knew from the title of the blog.   I look forward to seeing where the next nest will appear and am thankful Mother Nature has trusted me enough for birds to make their home at my home.   

Thank a Teacher!

by sssmahh303, posted in Friends and Family

Mary Ann

When the leaves begin to change and Thanksgiving nears, it is a good time to reflect on what we are thankful for – family, friends, health, pets, peace, freedom, safety, etc.  I think we can all look back on our schooling and remember a teacher or teachers who made a difference in our lives.  If you are reading this, that is a gift that a teacher gave to you. 

I have had a lifetime of excellent teachers.  At times, I did not always know how really good that they were.  Often, you take them for granted.  Not until later in life do you realize how lucky you were to experience that special person.

Mrs. Graham was my fourth-grade teacher, and she opened the world to her students over the years.  She would read to us right before dismissal every day.  We all loved Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn and couldn’t wait to hear of their next adventure.  She had full collections of the Old Mother West Wind series, the Bobbsey Twins, Nancy Drew, and the Hardy Boys, and for a budding reader, it was pure treasure.  I read them all.  Mrs. Graham also introduced us to the countries of the world.  She would bring in Gouda cheese and Swiss Chocolates for us to sample.  I think she ignited my desire to travel.  I wanted to eat Gouda in the Netherlands!

Mrs. Driscoll was my fifth-grade teacher, and she had our class always working on projects. She would put up a blank bulletin board and let us create.  She would give us a theme about Christmas or Native Americans and just let us draw whatever we wanted and somehow it morphed into beautiful murals.  I modeled my own teaching on how she taught.  She made learning exciting. 

My brother and I had a unique experience in having our father teach us biology.  We were in a small school district, so everyone had my father for biology.  One year, my brother had regular biology, and I took advanced biology.  He had us both that year.  We rarely talked about his class keeping school and home separate.  We were expected to do exactly what everyone else did for biology – no breaks for us.  I am sure it was hard for him, and yet he never skipped a beat.  My brother and I love nature.   My father instilled that love in us.  He was our favorite teacher on so many levels.

When I began teaching, I wrote Mrs. Graham and Mrs. Driscoll and thanked them for all they did for me.  What I shared with you, I shared with them.  They called my mother crying.  They wanted my address and did write me back. 

 At this time of year when we remember what we are thankful for, it is a good time to thank that teacher who influenced your life.  It will make their day, maybe their year.  I occasionally get a thank you from a former student.  Those letters warmed my heart and touched my soul. 

A Cup Of Tea

by sssmahh303, posted in Wellness

Mary Ann

When I would come home from school and was upset on the newest playground kerfuffle, my mother would say, “go make a cup a tea.”  I would go in the kitchen, heat a kettle of water, wait for it to boil, find a tea bag, and get the milk and sugar ready to make the perfect cup of tea.    It wasn’t that the tea held a magic potion to solve my problems.  It was the process of making of the tea that slowed everything down, and it would give me time to settle my ire and just breath.  The first sip of the tea immediately relaxed my body, and my attention then focused on enjoying the tea rather than my problems. 

There must have been a whole branch of English on our family tree, because we all were tea drinkers rather than traditional America coffee drinkers. We always had Lipton tea with milk adding a little of sugar to sweeten it.  Often, we would have tea and toast for breakfast.  Tea was a constant in my family’s life. 

Growing up, I was not a fancy tea drinker, but as I matured, I became a tea connoisseur.  It is such a treat to try different blends of tea, and there are endless varieties on the market today.  My favorite tea is Paris by Harney & Sons. It is a family run New York City company.  They offer 300 teas to sample.  Paris is fruity (currents) black tea that features vanilla and caramel flavors with a hint of bergamot.  The loose-leaf tea comes in silk sachets. To get the best taste use hot water, not boiled, and seep for 4 to 5 minutes.  I do less time, but the tea must have a rich brown color.  The Harney & Sons website is full of information about all their teas with instructions for a perfect cup.  You can purchase the tea there, or of course, you can get it on Amazon and can use their subscription service to have tea delivered regularly to your home. 

Last Christmas, a friend gave me a tin of Harney & Sons Hot Cinnamon Spice tea.  This is their most popular tea world-wide.  It is perfect for a cold, winter’s day – a great cup of tea to imbibe by the fire.  Another new discovery is Provence that has captured the region with apricot, lavender, and lemon.  I like this tea all by itself – no cream, no sugar.  It has a wonderful aroma. There are so many yummy teas from Harney & Sons that I have years of possibilities.  Though, I tend to keep enjoying my favorites.

I also love to go to a tea shop and enjoy a high tea with all the little sandwiches and pastries.  A fond memory was having tea at the Brown’s Hotel in London.  The room was filled with chintz sofas and chairs nestled around fireplaces.  The tea is slowly paced so you can enjoy every morsel and savor the delicious tea.  We should all start doing afternoon tea – a special way to end the day! 

However, the best cup of tea I ever had was on the same trip.  I had it a non-descript restaurant on the way to see Stonehenge.  It was not a fancy place, but the cream they used was clotted cream which turned the tea into a masterpiece. I have tried to recreate the cup of tea but to no avail.  It is close, but it is not that magical cup.  I would probably never find the little restaurant again. It is just a lovely memory.

I still make a cup of tea when I am troubled. The ritual is calming and by the time I finish drinking it, I gain a new perspective on life.  Maybe I need to learn how to read tea leaves to determine the outcome of my worries or just make another cup! 

Note: The English have a tea ritual called Cream Tea that is tea served with scones, jam, and clotted cream.  The order you put the jam and clotted cream on the scone determine if is Devon or Devonshire Cream (cream first then jam) or if is Cornish Cream (jam first then cream). Read more about Cream Tea on the Internet!  Who knew?