Category: Lifestyle

Several years ago I was searching for festivities that would replace Christmas parties so mom could celebrate the season in style, while staying home. I came upon the idea of an all-girls’ Christmas Movie Night. My daughter and granddaughter are local. My sister and her daughter live a little more than three hours away.  So we made it a weekend – celebrating the first annual Christmas season kickoff for mom’s benefit several years ago.

My sister and I love a good theme to direct our gatherings and the Annual Girls’ Christmas Movie Weekend is no exception. The first year was “Let it Snow” – everyone received a Christmas or winter-theme throw as a favor. Our goodies included snowflake cookies, along with other yummy snacks. Glitter was everywhere. And we watched White Christmas.

Another year’s theme was Slumber Party. Each lady received pajamas. One year was Breakfast at Tiffany’s and the favors became robes, sleeping masks, lip gloss and fake jewelry.   There were a few others up until last year when we went full-on Grinch! Green everywhere, including the punch. And of course we watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas. My sister got mom an animated Grinch doll. Mom laughed every time it danced across the floor. She showed every hospice visitor and anyone else who stopped in to say hello.

Sadly, mom will not be with us this year. To continue the tradition but in an attempt to lighten our spirits, the weekend has been moved to my sister’s home. My daughter, granddaughter, and I will travel on a Friday morning, arriving in time for lunch and some Christmas shopping.  Afterwards we will build gingerbread houses (from kits!) and watch a movie.  You may guess our theme is Gingerbread this year.

My favors will be glass “cans” with metal reusable straws from 1Canoe2 which are adorned with gingerbread houses. Staying in that vein, I have included gingerbread shaped and flavored marshmallow from Walmart (the only place I could find them!); gingerbread men hot cocoa bombs from Target; gingerbread themed cupcake papers; and a gingerbread figure ornament.  Items fit neatly into cute gingerbread house bags I found at Hallmark. Gift tags are miniature gingerbread ornaments on which I wrote each person’s name.

Each of us bring some kind of favor – a small gift that accompanies the theme. How fun it is to discover our creativity in selecting our respective favors.

Of course the best part is to have some girl time with sisters, daughters, nieces, aunts.  Sorry, guys. You are on your own for the weekend. My grandson will house sit and my son-in-law will keep their fur babies company. Admittedly, I leave a special little “something” for them, too. And we will raise a glass – of gingerbread cocoa – to our mom who is now an angel, looking down on us and laughing.

I have always believed it takes 40 days to make or break a habit. That’s why I found 75 Hard to be an interesting approach to achieving a desired lifestyle.

Andy Frisella is a “best selling author, highly sought after consultant and public speaker.” Many enthusiasts know of the challenge he put forward in 2019 called 75 Hard. His book 75 Hard: A Tactical Guide to Winning the War with Yourself is said to help a person gain mental toughness and achieve one’s real potential. 75 Hard became an internet sensation.

When I first heard about it more than a year ago, I knew I would not be successful in completing the 75 Hard Challenge.  The challenge is extreme goal setting, with predefined rules.  To say you have achieved the goal, you must complete five specified tasks every day for 75 days without fail. No cheat days. No days off. In fact, if you miss one of the tasks on any given day, you must start over to honestly say you completed the 75 Hard Challenge.

The daily rules that must be followed for 75 consecutive days are

1. Follow a structured diet without deviations, alcohol, nor cheat meals.
2. Two 45-minute workouts per day, one of which must be outside regardless of the weather.
3. Drink a gallon of water.
4. Read at least ten non-fiction, educational pages geared toward improving your life
5. Take a progress picture.

The idea behind the challenge is to build confidence, self-esteem, fortitude and discipline – all great attributes to have.

Much has been written and reported about the value, or lack thereof, of following this program. Some question its extreme rules suggesting it could trigger individuals into making unhealthy decisions. For me, this pointed to the problem the author was trying to address – people need to think for themselves and act accordingly.

I liked the concept if not the actual challenge. Much as a New Year’s resolution or a health and fitness goal, the 75 Hard Challenge is a guideline for a healthy lifestyle focusing on mental, physical, and emotional improvement.  So, I built a personal challenge* and set a time-line of 40 days. Additionally, I allowed one cheat day per week. A day off, if you will. A day of rest for my mind and body. I found that day was the hardest! I learned through the process that taking a “me day” was my biggest challenge.

Ultimately, my take-away is this. Evaluate your own needs periodically. Ask yourself what you need, to be the person you wish to be. Then set your own guidelines as goals and work towards achieving those changes in lifestyle. You will come out on the other end proud of your achievement, knowing you did it for yourself.

*My Daily Personal Challenge included riding my exercise bike for at least 30 minutes, drinking a glass of water every 90 minutes, going to bed at approximately the same time every night, and writing a minimum of 1,000 words. I also eliminated take-out food during that 40-day period. Taking a daily picture did NOT make my list!

Mary Ann

People over the centuries have named their homes.  There is Mt. Vernon or Monticello. Palaces and estates have names like Buckingham and Versailles.  We want to make our homes unique so giving them names make our domiciles very special.  It may be a way for the rich and famous to keep their different homes straight in their minds. 

I have given my townhouse a special name, but in truth the house named itself. When I bought my townhouse, the former owner had a wreath on the front door.  At closing, I got my keys and was so excited to be going home!  Well, I got there, and a house finch had set up housekeeping in the wreath.  We could not use the front door until mama bird fledged her babies.  For six weeks we used the garage to enter the house.  Finally, a For Rent sign appeared on the nest, and we could use the front door. 

For the next 18 months, the house was renovated and shortly afterward, I retired and moved my life to the new house.  My apartment furnishings arrived shortly after my final day at work, and when the movers were moving me in, one of them said, “You have a friend.”  We went outside and right near the front door a female mallard had built a nest in the middle of the pachysandra.  I am sure mama duck thought she had found a quiet place to raise her family.  No one was living in the house.  My townhouse is across the street from a pond.  It was location, location, location. The duck real estate agent did a bait and switch not revealing to Mama Duck that she had a human neighbor.  So once again we avoided using the first door.  However, you could look at her as she was incubating her eggs.  She was so still that I am sure she didn’t think we could see her. 

Fast forward, mama duck did her duty until one day about a month later, the ducklings hatched.  This little brood of ducks moved in a tight formation together around my front porch and driveway.  Mama duck was nowhere to be found.  I called the wildlife center to see if mother ducks left their babies alone.  They told me that they never leave their babies, and that I needed to bring them in for care.   Something happened to mama duck.  I gave it until the next morning in case their mama did come back. 

My nine baby duck guests were still huddled together on the porch the next morning.  My brother and I began catching them and putting them in a box to take them to the wildlife center. Baby ducks are so soft and so cute.  I put a pan of water in the box.  By the time we got to the center, the babies were all in the water.  They just knew what to do.

At the wildlife center, the ducklings were given a chance to safely grow up.  I was given a code to call and check on their progress.  All nine babies made it to adulthood and were released.  In the wild, it would be good if half of them made it.  Mama duck was a good mother and probably gave her life to save her babies.  We got them to the right people so they could grow up.  I did keep the broken light green eggs in a jar, and they are on my shelf of nature artifacts. Sweet reminder!

Since then, I have had nests in planters and gutters and nearby trees.  I am sure you know what I named my house – The Nest!  You probably knew from the title of the blog.   I look forward to seeing where the next nest will appear and am thankful Mother Nature has trusted me enough for birds to make their home at my home.   

Mary Ann

I like to take something and give it a new purpose. I have made tables out of wicker animals or wrought iron planters.  Just add a piece of glass and voila, you have a table.  Sometimes I create these things out of necessity. I can’t find the right thing, so I figure out how to use something else to accomplish what I need.

Case in point, I needed a hamper, waste can, and tissue box for a bathroom and just couldn’t find what I wanted so I found some white planters (Shabby Chic looking) at an import store and used them.  I added a mesh bag to the big planter for a hamper.  The small planter perfectly held a boutique tissue box, and a little footed planter became the waste can.  I suddenly had a garden.  

Then I needed some storage for the same bathroom.  I kept looking for a basket or a box for my perfumes.  Nothing seemed right.  One night I dreamt that I put my perfumes in a birdcage. The next day at Marshall’s, I found the very birdcage that was in my dream.  However, it was black rather than white, and that was easy to fix.  It was one of the few times in my life where a dream came true.  

I got other white birdcages to store bath salts and oils, sponges and loofahs, and a big one to keep toilet paper.  The birdcages fit right in with the planters for a garden feel.  It was fun to grow the idea and find the pieces to make it real.  

These ideas are probably on Pinterest, but I have never really used the platform.  I am a little scared that once I started using it, I would never surface. I would get lost in all the creative ideas.  

I encourage you to try to take something ordinary and make into something extraordinary.  It is fun to experiment and see where your creativity will take you.  Sometimes necessity is the mother of invention, and where it takes you can be an adventure!   

Mary Ann

When I was young, we visited my grandparents every weekend.  Upon entering the house, the aroma of baking bread tickled your nose, and the cacophonies of my grandfather’s clock collection ticked and chimed away to greet us. 

When you walked into the dining room, there were three large window that faced the outdoors.  Bright, filtered light flooded the room.  On each of the windows, there were several glass shelves (a forerunner of today’s floating shelves) filled with African violets.  Varying hues of pink, purple, white, and blue were scattered among the shelves.  There were about 30 little pots.  It was magical to me.  Violets always remind me of my grandmother.  

My grandparents lived in a small town away from nurseries, so her violet collection was probably generated through pass-along stems from neighbors and friends.  I am sure she shared her violets with them as well.

I have violets in my kitchens that live in front of a wall of windows with bright, indirect light -a perfect place for violets to grow!  There are three violets, two purple and one pink, that are nestled in a grapevine basket.  I have named the violets after my great-grandmothers, Millie ad Maggie, and my grandmother, Grace.  They make me happy, and I will often have a little chat with them.

In the language of flowers, violets symbolize faith, mystical awareness, inspiration, spiritual passion, profuseness, and sovereignty.  Purple violets represent love, and white violets represent innocence.   

Originally, violets came from the jungles of Tanzania and southeastern Kenya.  Violets are easy to grow – good light, watering once a week keeping the soil moist, and fertilizer when they stop blooming.  I use the same fertilizer as my grandmother – Schultz’s African Violet.  Violets can live as long as 50 years so you can have endless blooms for years to come. 

When my grandmother passed, I was living far away from the family, so I didn’t get back for the funeral. The following summer when I did come home, I took a violet to put on her grave.  It was a nice moment of closure.  My grandmother is with me always, and my violets remind me of her daily.  However, I wish I could once again smell her baking bread.

Mary Ann

Every once in a while, you have to drag out the soapbox, dust it off, step up, and shout!  That time is now. Three years ago, I put a butterfly garden in the front of my house – butterfly bushes, milkweed, coneflowers, lantana, salvia, lavender, etc.  It was a smorgasbord of yummies for butterflies, bees, and hummingbirds.  It was a pleasure to sit on my front porch watching them dance among the flowers. There was a huge variety of insects, and I felt I like I was helping the planet.  That year there were 28 monarchs.  

The following year, there was only one monarch and not as many of the bigger butterflies. However, the skipper population was thriving.   I called the county extension agency to see what was going on with the butterflies.  I was told some years are like that.  We are now in the middle of year three, and so far, this summer I have only seen one, lone monarch.  I have milkweed blooming, and nothing is eating it. Even the skippers have diminished.  My nature-loving neighbors are all saying the same thing.  We get excited and call or text one another when we see a yellow swallowtail or a hummingbird.  Now, I do have friends elsewhere that do have many hummingbirds – thank heavens! 

I do believe this is a flashing red light warning us that there is something wrong. Regardless, what some people are saying, the climate is changing, and it is affecting our lives.  If all the humans suddenly disappeared from the planet, nothing would change.  Nature would heal, and the web of life would continue getting stronger with the passing years.  If all the pollinators disappeared, it would affect all the plants and then humans.  If all the ants or earthworms disappeared, the same thing would happen. 

For a time, many years ago, I lived in Monterey, CA.  On the Monterey Peninsula, there is a little town called Pacific Grove.  It is the butterfly capital of the world.  Each winter western monarchs came by the millions to winter in the moderate climate of the region.  You would look up in the trees and think you were seeing leaves, but they were butterflies soaking up the sun. The groves were just magical.  In the last few years, they have counted about 1200 monarch in some of the groves.  Monarchs are now endangered species. 

I have seen it happen in the east in these last three years.  The monarch life cycle is a miracle, and it is sad to think it may disappear.  I am not sure what to do about it.   I have planted milkweed, and I try not to use insecticides though our HOA does but not in my gardens. I guess pray!

When I sit in my patio garden, I may see one bee flitting around the flowers or see a pair of white cabbage butterflies dancing like ghosts among the plants.  Again, I have planted a host of flowering plants for pollinators to enjoy.  They are just not there.  I can enjoy the flowers, but I miss the insect activity.  I wonder if the beginning of the end is starting.  What can I do?  What can we all do?  I fear a day will come when I will hear the last buzz. 

Mary Ann

Have you ever seen the magazine, Where Women Create? It is an exquisite collection of spaces where woman make beautiful arts and crafts, write books, and birth other creative endeavors.  The stories of these makers are told, and their homes and workspaces are shared.  As you leaf through the magazine, it is fun to daydream about having a creative space just for you.  

I have owned two homes and been lucky enough to have a creativity space in each one.  In my current home, I have a primary suite that has a room off the bedroom that is about 12’x12’.  I call it The Tinker Box.  It is where I lose myself, where I fully immerse myself in my various passions – I write, draw, make jewelry, do crafts, wrap gifts, work on my photography, and dream a lot.  It is my happy place, a place where time stands still. 

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (can you imagine learning how to spell that name in First Grade?) coined the term Flow which means to be fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity (thank you Wikipedia for the definition.)  In the zone is another way of saying it!  So having a space where you can experience what you love is a special gift that you give yourself.  

I spent a considerable amount of time designing this space.  The walls are painted white with a black fan.  There is a large window that I left plain so I can fully open it up to view the pond and wooded areas near my home.  

I painted a big kitchen table black and got a large piece of class cut to cover the top of the table.  This is my desk and workspace for projects.  I bought 4 tall, black bookcases each with 7 shelves from a cabinet company and that stores all my projects. Two bookcases are behind where I sit at the table, and they house my photography equipment, photography books, and many containers of photos.  There is a bookcase on each side of the table making a big a big T.  One is where I keep my general craft materials and the other has my writing materials.  I color coded them with containers from Big Lots and Dollar Tree – green for photography, orange for craft materials, and blue for writing. The color really stand out on the black shelves adding color to the room.  

Under the window there are low black bookcases from Wayfair. I use that to store all my ribbon and decorative items for gift wrapping.  I also store some of my teaching materials there.  On the opposite wall from the table and bookcases is a credenza where I store personal paperwork and travel info.  On top of credenza is a lamp, TV, and printer.  There is a little table next to it where I have a small refrigerator and an electric hot-water kettle. 

The walls are full of framed posters and inspirational signs.  There is a vision board reflecting my retirement aspirations.   A bulletin board is nestled between the two bookcases and above the table.  I also have a merry-go-round horse on the wall that once hung in my daughter’s nursery.  Everywhere I look is something that has meaning for me.  My puppets (that is for another blog) and knick-knacks – tchotchkes – are sprinkled around the shelves. 

I am writing this blog as I sit in my Tinker Box.  It is where I can make my dreams come true and let my creative spirit run wild.  It is where my imagination blooms, and my passions can take wing. It is where I have fun, and it is a safe place to take risks. It is where magic happens, and I  am so thankful to have this special space for creativity.

As the song, As Time Goes By, says A Kiss is Still A Kiss. Or is it? There are all kinds of kisses. The slobbery kisses of a puppy or the scratchy lick of kitty are loving gestures to their humans.  A butterfly kiss from a little child with a flutter of eyelashes to your cheek is just precious. And who can forget when you were passionately kissed by someone you love or loved, when your knees buckle, and you fall into a swoon.  All of this is true, but there are still many other kinds of kisses in the world.  

When you travel to the Galapagos Islands, you experience one of Earth’s most unique places.  It is truly the peaceable kingdom where animals and man can coexist without fear of one another.  I experienced this during my visit.  I decided to spend some quiet time on the beach and do some sketching.  I sat crisscross applesauce among 20 or so seals that were scattered around the beach taking naps and sunbathing.  They were only a few feet from me. Nowhere else on Earth could you do this.  

I happily was sketching the seals and was in the zone not paying too much attention to what was going on around me.  Then I suddenly felt something bristly encircle my knee.  I looked down and a baby seal was touching my knee with its nose.  I was being kissed by a seal.  I sat there is shock, and the little guy scooched by me and nestled in the sand a few feet away falling immediately to sleep.  Mother did not seem to be around, and the other seals paid no attention to us.  I then sketched my new friend.  When I left the beach, I took more than my sketches.  I took a priceless memory of my sweet encounter with the baby seal – I got a whisker kiss, and it made me swoon!  

There is a Giraffe Center in Nairobi, Kenya, where you can have a close encounter of the tall kind.  A staircase takes you up to a wraparound deck to meet the giraffes at their level.  Giraffe kibble was available to purchase to feed them.  I wonder if Purina made them for the giraffes as they make many kinds of animal kibble – imagine bags of giraffe kibble among cat and dog food.  

The giraffes were ready for a treat.  Luckily for me there were not many people there, so I got lots of attention from the giraffes wanting their goodies. You could feed them by hand and pet their patterned faces.  They have big, beautiful, brown eyes that are like mirrors where you can see yourself.  If you are more daring, you can place a piece of kibble between your lips, and the giraffe will take the kibble from you.  I did just that. Their big, soft, floppy lips gently touch my lips as they took the kibble. I was being kissed by a giraffe -What a sweet memory for me from Africa.

Finally, my family was on vacation at the Jersey Shore near Atlantic City.  My Father wanted to go fishing.  It was a terrible day, cold and rainy.  We went on a fishing cruise that took us to a nearby inlet to fish. Dressed in giant yellow slickers, we casted our fishing lines into the choppy water.  Hours passed, I really mean hours, and no one caught a fish.  It was a long afternoon when suddenly my Father caught a tiny shark about 6 to 8 inches long.  (As the years passed, the shark got bigger with each retelling of the tale.) It was a perfect shark in miniature.  

Since the book and later the movie, Jaws, I have always been terrified of sharks.  Intellectually, I know sharks are necessary to the ocean ecosystem, but emotionally, they can eat you.  Right before my Father tossed the shark back into the water, I asked him to give it to me.  I was going to face my fear.  In my hands I was holding a SHARK!  Its skin was like sandpaper, and it was thrashing a bit.  I am sure it was just as scared of me as I was of it.  Right then I decided to plant a big kiss on its head and send it on its way.  Off it went into the deep blue sea. Now, I am still a little afraid of sharks, but my new fear is the shark will return to kiss me.  I don’t think there is a sweet way for a shark to kiss you.  Duuuunnnn duun…

Mary Ann 

Cynthia

I love holidays! In fact, holidays are so fun that I create them, at times. Upon entering my home, one will find a small entry space that opens directly into my “front room” and dining room. My table is always set, inviting guests to join me for a meal or even just a snack, among timely décor each month.  Or they can simply delight in the décor as they pass into my home. This month, of course, is Patriotic. Red, white, and blue adorn the tablescape and spill over into the family room and kitchen.

My granddaughter, who just graduated from college, enjoys the holiday decorating. Each time I pull out another tub of goodies, she says, “Dibs on that one!”  I have collected so much décor over the years that I had to find a way to store it and to prepare for her to take it at some point in the future.

First, I ensure all related items are stored together.  For some themes I have only one box; other themes require more.  Christmas, for example, takes up almost an entire wall of shelves, since we put a theme-related tree in every room. St. Patrick’s Day only needs one tub, although admittedly it is stuffed full!

Next, each box (really, they are plastic tubs) is labeled with my own inventory-type codes. All the tubs are on shelves with the 72-point typeface facing out. Using consistent codes, it is easy to spot which tub I want to pull off the shelves.  Speaking of shelves, my two-car garage is lined with commercial grade shelves on all three walls. The sturdy shelving is safe and has four layers. If I need something out of one box, I no longer must move several tubs to get to the right one.

Finally, the content list of each box is typed and stored in a file folder on my computer.  I can look up the contents of any box quickly.  The plus is, when it is time to put things away, I can look at the list and see what goes into each tub. No guesswork and no re-inventorying.

Obviously, setting all this up took some time. But the time was well spent. Now I save time while getting out and putting away décor, making holiday decorating quick so we can just enjoy the look.

The big bonus of organizing the décor and having an inventory is more than just saving time. I have a list for insurance should I lose my treasures in a fire or other catastrophe. And remember dostadning? When it comes time for my daughter and grandchildren to have to deal with my “valuables” they can easily decide what to keep and what to sell or donate, without looking through all the “stuff.”

For now and later, organizing holiday décor is a great gift to give yourself and your loved ones.

 Mary Ann

When people used to retire, they were given a gold watch for their many years of service to their place of employment.  Many people today don’t even wear a watch anymore.  They use their phones to tell time.  In the end, a watch is not really a very good way to celebrate someone’s life’s work.  So, what is? 

We live longer now so retirement can go on for a very long time.  People see retirement as another chapter in their lives rather than an end.  What would be a better gift than a gold watch? We want to wish the retiree good health, wealth, and happiness. Now, how do you do that exactly?

My friend, Lisa, and I started a nonfiction book club when Covid started, and we explored a variety of subjects over the next four years.  We talk every Saturday about the reading assignments.  We have read over 60 books and have gained so much insight and knowledge from them.  From our reading, we have found books that focused on health, wealth, and happiness, and the following books are our all-star favorites that will give any retiree many nuggets of wisdom for their golden years.

Health – AARP has an excellent book on health called The Whole Body Reset by Stephen Perrine.  It is about living a healthy life rather than just a diet.  It is simple and a good guide to eating better in your senior years.  

Wealth – Jane Bryant Quinn’s How to Make Your Money Last, the Indispensable Retirement Guide is the bible for financial planning both before and after retirement.  Quinn has authored several books on finance and is an expert in her field.  My book is dogeared and underlined throughout.  It is a book that I constantly refer to for financial advice. I have gifted this book to both the young and old over the years, and it is always appreciated.  

Happiness – Julia Cameron is a writer who focuses on creativity. She is most famous for The Artist’s Way.  However, she has written a book for those who are retiring and how to live a more creative, fulfilling life.  It is Never too Late to Begin Again: Discovering Creativity and Meaning at Midlife and Beyond. This a book that can help a retiree to gain meaning for a happier life in retirement.

These books are so helpful, useful, and good reads.   All you need now is to wrap them up and give them to the retirees in your life.  I would tell them that each book represents good wishes for health, wealth, and happiness.  I put tags on each wrapped book explaining just that. These books are worth more in gold than any watch could ever be.  They would be a good gift to give yourself, and don’t we all want to live a life of better health, more secure wealth, and new opportunities of happiness in our own golden years.