Category: Lifestyle

A Doggone City!

Mary Ann

One thing that you notice in New York City, it has gone to the dogs!  There are dogs everywhere. There is also dog do-do everywhere so watch where you step. You are supposed to curb your dog, but not everyone follows the rules.  However, it is not as bad as Paris. 

There are all kinds of dogs.  French Bulldogs are a favorite.  You are surprised with Burmese Mountain Dogs – apparently, they are excellent apartment dogs.  Just about every kind of dog you can imagine live in NYC. When you see an Irish Setter trotting down the street, you wonder how a hunting dog finds space to run. There are lots of rescues with suspect lineage. Then there are the Designer Dogs – a deliberate cross breeding of two pedigrees dogs to create a new breed.  Maltipoos, Labradoodles, Cockapoos, Pomskys, and on and on are the “new” breeds.  All are quite cute.  There are pet shops that specialize in Designer Dogs.  

On the streets of NYC, there are bowls of water in front of restaurants for furry customers. There are specialty services for dogs that include Doggie Day Care, Doggie Gyms, Pet Sitters, Shuttle Service, Groomers with salons that rivel human salons, and vets with clinics and mobile units.  Dog walkers are walking dogs all over the city with solo clients and groups of 3 or more.  The dogs all seem to get along well – it is kind of a pack mentality.  Some dogs are on a walk in a stroller.  I guess getting some fresh air.   Dog parks dot the city scape where dog people gather and friendships bloom.

We had a school dog that on Mondays had play dates in Central Park with his other dog friends.  The dog loved it, and I am sure he knew when it was Monday.  The rest of the week the dog loved being everyone’s pet at school.  Many of the little boutiques in the city have a dog that minds the shop.  It adds charm to the shopping experience.  Dogs are everyshere.

There were all kinds of Doggie Shops with normal pet shop items; however, they had a large selection of outfits accessorized with sparkly jewels.  All kinds of “shoes” were available which is not a bad idea on city sidewalks – hot cement in the summer and salt on dog pads in the winter.  It can prevent issues for the dogs.  There are colorful canine raincoats and boots that deck gray rainy city sidewalks.   There are several dog bakeries with custom dog biscuits among many other doggie treats.  (The picture below is of two Italian Greyhounds dressed in matching PJs on a cold Winter’s day. Just too cute!)

The dog subculture is everywhere now.  It is just more noticeable in New York because the population is so dense with people and dogs.  New York is also innovative with new dog services and the like.  It is fun to people watch in the city, but dog watching is more fun! You might just get a slobbery kiss while you watch.  New York City is an interesting place, but it is truly a doggone city!

“Hello. My name is [insert your name]”. This is the beginning of a conversation with a someone we are meeting for the first time. Or, when we make a phone call we say, “this is [insert your name]. I am calling to inquired about xyz”. And what do we say when we see a baby for the first time? You’ve got it! “Oh what a sweet little one. What is her/his name?” Our names identify us as unique. They give us a place in society. Some believe that a name defines a person. But I will leave that for another conversation.

My family tends to assign names to inanimate objects, especially those with which we interact often. As with many people, all of my family members assign names to their cars. My grandson’s Mustang is Natasha. My sister’s Lexus is Pearl. My new SUV is Avandra – she is so named as Avandra is the goddess of Freedom, Adventure, and Travel – so the name is fitting, of course. (Avandra and I recently completed her first road trip. We shared 2,997 miles together on this little jaunt.)

The deck on the back of my house is the Urban Oasis. Mary Ann’s backyard is Little Provence. We often text or email each other and mention we spent time in these spaces. The women in my family have an annual get-together early in December. We call ourselves the Tinsel Tribe.

When mom was taking physical therapy after the third hospital stay within a year’s time, she was learning to use her walker. She commented that she was working very hard on her PT as she wanted to walk without the aid of the walker. Her physical therapist told her “I am sorry to be the one to break the news to you, but you are going to be married to that thing for the rest of your life.”  We laughed.

I told mom, if she was going to be married to the walker, she had better give him a name. From that point forward, it became George. Then she named her transport wheelchair Rosella. The names became so commonplace that the hospice nurses and aides and the entire family just talked about George and Rosella as if they were additional people. Lily, the aide who bathed mom would say, “Get George. It’s time to take a shower.” My cousin pondered, “where is Rosella? Let’s take your mom out to the Urban Oasis.” And so it went.

To be honest, I have to take a breath occasionally when I realize other people don’t name their inanimate props the way we do. It seems impersonal. On the other hand, I guess we seem a little crazy.  But think about it.  Isn’t it just as meaningful to say, “have you seen Alex?” as it is to say “I can’t find my phone?”

Mary Ann, Cynthia, and Friends

There are endless numbers of ABC lists, many made into books.  We enjoy reading them often coming up with our own ideas for each of the letters.   Cynthia and I decided to write the ABCs for the Silver Sage Sisters, so we started compiling a list.  I had a few gatherings with other SSS, so I asked them for their ideas.  Some were aspirational and others were practical voicing concerns. Some thoughts were just funny and yet others were nuggets of wisdom.  The following list is a collective of input.  See if you agree — or did you discover other possibilities?  I am sure that you could add a few words of your own.  This list is a snapshot of growing older:

A – Adaptable, Absent-minded – where are those glasses, Acts of kindness, Staying active, Agony, Assisted Living

B – Brave, Breathe, Bedtime ritual, Beautiful journey, Bone Density Tests, Birding, Baby Boomers, Brain Freeze- what is that word?

C – Caring, Creative, Cataracts, Cruises, Crotchety, Chronic Conditions, Crepe-like skin, Curious, Compression socks, COLA

D – Decadent, Dependence on Depends, Dementia, Dancing, Diets or Not, Doctors appointments

E – Elegant, Eyesight failing, Exercise, Elder 

F – Fearless, Flexibility, Fun, Friends, Family, Faith, Sometimes the f-word just fits, Face lift, False teeth, Falling apart

G – Grace, Gray Hair, Gratitude, Genuine, Gardening, Grandchildren, Great-Grandchildren, Gravity, Giggles

H – Happy, Helpful, Hair thinning, Home, Hobbies, Holidays

I – Independence, Isolation, Intelligence, Intuition, Incontinence, Inevitable

J – Joy, Joint stiffness, Jiggle more, Jowls, 

K – Kindness matters, Bad knees, Knee replacements, Karma, A kiss is still a kiss

L – Laugher, Love, Life Review – reflection, Letting Go, Life-long Learning

M – Meditation, Memory issues– what memory, Money worries, It’s not about the money, Medicare, Medications – never so many, Mature, Memories, Movies any time of day, 

N – New normal, Nutrition, Nature, It’s not over until it’s over, NAPS, Nursing homes

O – Optimistic, Old everything, Osteoporosis, Osteoarthritis, If only….

P – Perseverance, Physical changes, Physiological decline, Prep for retirement, Pickleball, Part A, B,C,D – oh, my!

Q – Queries, Queen of everyday, Quiet time is more important, Quit working, Quality of life

R – Retirement, Radical, Reduced balance and coordination, Reserve, Readiness, Read

S – Sensitive, Spots – age and liver, Surreal, Social Circle Shrinks or expands, Safety, Sleeping Less or in front of the TV, Social Security, Self-Acceptance, Sagging Boobs, Sleeping in

T – Thankful, Travel, Words on the tip-or-your-tongue, Teamwork, Time to smell the roses, Time seems shorter and shorter

U – Unrelenting, Unknown, Unanswered questions, Universal Truths, Unbelievable time

V – Value the past, Volunteerism, Voracity, Virtues, Variety

W – Winsome, Wrinkles, Women’s Rights, No Work, Walking, Wisdom

X – Excellent Life, X-rays, X marks the spot – any spot you want

Y – Yippy – I made it this far!, Yearning, Youthful attitude, You can still change the world

Z – Zenith, Zest for Life

Did any of the concepts ring true for you?  Maybe they spurred some reflection?  It was fun gathering them from other Silver Sage Sisters like you! 

Big Apple, Big Hearts

Mary Ann

New Yorkers get a bum rap for being unfriendly or rude or cold.  They are busy people, but they are at heart kind people.  If you ever watch multiple lanes of traffic at the Holland Tunnel, you will see New Yorkers narrow several lanes of cars blending them into two lanes to exit or enter the city. I have a friend who calls it braiding. The out-of-towners are the ones breaking the lines and are not civil. New Yorkers know that none of that will make a bit of difference.  The line goes when it goes.  Patience is the answer.

When you are riding the subways and are departing or entering the station, New Yorkers will hold a door for the person behind them.  They hold until someone grabs the door.  They don’t look at you but let go when you take hold.  No one says thank you.  Then, you in turn, hold the door until you pass it on to another. 

For the most part, people will stop you on the street and help you find your way if they see you with your nose in a travel guide.  If I ever asked for directions, I was readily given assistance. You can’t ask for more. 

When I first moved to NYC to work, I had no idea what I was doing most of the time.  As I shared before, there is a very steep learning curve.  Early in the transition, I visited a few times to find a place to live and meet the people I would be working with and so on.  

I stayed in a hotel in Chelsea area of the city.  My future boss lived on the Upper West Side.  On one of the early visits, I was to take the subway uptown to meet the boss to go out for dinner.  He told me to take the C train and get off at 86^th Street. 

So, I off I went to take one of my first solo subway rides.  I came downstair to the trains and stood by the sign that gave you information about the C Train.  Along comes a train, the door open and I entered the subway car.  We are humming a long, and I notice that we were traveling out through the avenues and not moving North through the streets.  Something was wrong.  I asked someone on the train where the train going.  It was going to QUEENS!  Queens was a foreign country as far as I was concerned, and I was going in the wrong direction.  

The woman I asked where I was, kindly got off the train with me and walked me to the other track to get me going in the right direction.  There I stood where I had started at the C Train info sign.  A train came, the doors opened, and I entered.  We are moving along and suddenly we were moving out through the avenues on my way to QUEENS.  It was Groundhog Day, and I was doing exactly what I did the last round. What was I doing wrong?

I was sitting next to a Budish Monk in his saffron robes and several construction workers surrounded me. I asked for help, and they stepped up.  One of the construction guys in a plaid shirt walked me over to the transit map and explained the routes.  There are three trains – the A, C, and E – all using the same track.  I was getting on the E and not the C.  You must look on the front of the train to see which is which.  I was thinking of subways in Europe where one train is on one track.  People were chiming in giving me advice.  I said I will just up to the street and get a taxi.  No, no, you will never get a taxi on a Friday night, and it will take you forever to get uptown.  Stay on the train!   They gave me directions, and since I now knew how the trains ran, I was on my way finally.  At the time, you could not use a mobile phone in the subway, so I had no way in getting in touch with my boss.  I was just late, VERY late.

I was finally on the right train and made it to 86^th street.  I came out of the subway and called my boss as we were walking towards each other.  We greeted one another with laughter.  It was funny after I made it to him.  It wasn’t so funny at the time, yet I never felt scared or panicked because there were kind people around me who were willing to go out of their way to help me on a busy Friday night when they just wanted to get home.  So, I know firsthand the kindness of New Yorkers, and they don’t deserve the bum rap of being rude.  

If I remained on the E Train and actually went to Queens, I may have never found my way back to Manhattan. What an adventure that would have been!  However, I know that someone would have helped me,  The city may be known as the Big Apple, but it is also should be known as a city with a Big Heart! 

Mary Ann

As I shared with you in past blogs, I like to use items in different ways than their original purpose.  So, I want to share with you new ideas for a placemat.  

This all started when I was looking for accent pillows for my guest room.  I could not find exactly what I was looking for, but I did find the perfect pattern on a scalloped placement.  I bought four of them.  I paired them to create the front and the back of a pillow.  The placements were a black flowered pattern.  I made a black and white checked ruffle to surround the pillows (an easy way to make a ruffle is to sew a piece of yarn along the open edge of the material using a wide zigzag stitch. Then just pull the yarn to gather the material).  I attached the ruffle between the placements and then I sewed them all together leaving a small opening to add quilt stuffing.  Later, I hand stitched the opening.  

The pillows were just perfect in my guest room that was decorated in black, white, and pink.  The pillows accented the black and white toile bed spread and black and white checked dust ruffle and European pillow shams.  I have since used the same pillows in my bedroom that accented the black, white, and red bed linens.  Those placemat pillows are one-of-kind and have remained in excellent condition in two different bedroom settings.  This is an easy and inexpensive way to create unique décor.

Crafting unique tissue “boxes” is the second idea for placemats. The steps are simple, and the creative ideas are endless.  First, you need to buy some placemats.  At the end of each holiday season, stores such as Marshalls or HomeGoods discount the holiday placemats so for a dollar or two you can find the cutest seasonal placemats.  Then you fold the ends of each placemat to the center.  Pin the open ends at the top and the bottom of the placemat to secure it.  At this point, you can add trim such as pom poms, rick rack, or beads between the pinned ends.  Craft or fabric stores have trims available, and I did find several resources online that include Amazon, of course, but there are small companies that specialize in trims which may have more unique designs.  

After you have everything pinned together, you sew up the two ends.  You are almost done.  I then use holiday jewelry which is often on sale after the holiday as well.  If it is a pin, I put it in one of the corners.  Sometimes I use a novelty button or applique which may need to be sewed on, or I use Velcro dots or fabric glue to attach. The holiday jewelry gives a little character to the tissue “box.”  Then use Velcro dots to close the tissue top.  72 count boxes of Kleenex or other brands that are about 2 inches high fit perfectly inside with a few wiggles.  Also, you can find some soft-sided packages of tissues that fit as well.   Press the Velcro dots together pulling the tissue at the center.  Voila!  You are done. 

The tissue “box” fits almost anywhere and becomes part of my holiday decorations. I change for each one. The tissue “boxes” make nice gifts, and I always give a few extra boxes of tissues with it.  You can also make ones that go with your bedroom or wherever and are more permanent parts of your décor. 

I have had fun finding all the placemats and the accents for tissue “boxes” and pillows. As they say, “Necessity is the mother of Invention.”  It has been true for these creations.  I hope you will give this a try and use an ordinary placemat to create unique items for your home.  

Mary Ann

Throughout your life, you become members of different organizations and clubs.  It may be Girl or Boy Scouts, fraternities or sororities, church groups, Kiwanis, Rotary, VFW, book clubs, sport teams, and on and on.  All of them have influenced you in some way adding to the fabric of your life. It is our tribe or community.  It is a place where we belong. 

As I look back on my life, I belonged to many clubs, but the one organization that really influenced my life and helped me become who I am was the 4H.  I think most people think of 4H as a farmer’s club, and it does have famers.  However, it is far more than that. 

I was in 6^th grade and joined the Dog Husbandry Club that was sponsored by the Purina Company and run by our local commissioner who had a rescue center for unwanted animals.  We were lucky to have such a caring man lead us.

 My brother, Timmy, and I loved our English and Irish Setters, so this club was made for us.  We learned about grooming, feeding, training, and showing our dogs.  We learned about responsibility with charts that depicted our hours devoted to training and grooming, and we would post the amount of feed we used to care for our dogs.  We would have a local dog show in the spring and a County 4H fair dog show later in the summer.  We demonstrated our mastery of skills at those shows.

As I grew older, I would do demonstrations about canine care – Primp Up Pooch or First-Aid for Pooch.  It gave me experience in public speaking, a skill I have used my whole life.  I would later become the club’s president, so I was learning leadership skills in that role.  My role expanded with the following years.  In my senior year of high school, I became a Keystone Winner representing the state of Pennsylvania at the National 4H Conference in Chicago, IL, 

We stayed at the Conrad Hilton – a big change for a small-town girl!   What an experience to be with hundreds of 4Hers representing their states.  Big cooperations like Ford or General Motors sponsored banquets for us, Miss America spoke, and we were guests of the city at their various attractions such as the Field Museum and a night club called The Cheetah.  It was truly a life-changing experience for me – there was a big world out there that I wanted to see. 

 4H gave me opportunities and experiences that have lasted a lifetime and shaped the person I have become.  I always loved the 4H Pledge. It is a meaningful way to live one’s life, and each leave of the clover represents a different H – head, heart, hands, and health.  It has always stayed with me, and I can readily recite it.   Let me share it with you.

4H Pledge

I pledge my head to clearer thinking,

My heart to greater loyalty,

My hands to larger service, 

And my health to better living, 

For my club, my community, my country, and my world.

What a positive way to live life!  However, the 4H Motto is what has been a true North Star in my life.  It is To Make the Best Better.  Whatever I have undertaken, I have tried to make it even better. The 4H gifted a pledge and a motto that has shaped my life, and I am so thankful for those words.  

For what are you grateful today?

Today I am grateful for the ability to write what is on my mind and to share it with others whom I have never met. Today I am grateful for my health, while it isn’t at the level it was even five years ago, I am able to get up each morning and go about my daily habits. Today I am grateful that I have clean water to drink, a comfortable home in which to live, and healthy food on my table.  I could go on and on. My heart is full of gratitude today.

Pondering the concept of gratitude I realize how often we compare ourselves to others and think “why can’t I have ____ “. Recently I was reminded of how far we have come in a society based on electronics. I observe young people with their faces constantly in their phones and their mantras of “I don’t make enough money,” and “I’m not thin enough” or “my face isn’t as clear as I want it to be” and this list grows. We have learned to compare ourselves and our lives to the others, as they have posted online.

This led me to remember the COVID-19 lockdown, which was five years ago, now.  There is no denying the disease was horrible for many, many people. WHO reports an excess mortality rate of three million people, worldwide, 1.8 million deaths were reported from 2020 alone. Worldometer reported more than seven million deaths by mid-April 2024.  Reports are no longer being updated as reporting has almost stopped.  Some health care workers say the reporting was inaccurate. Still, we cannot deny the epidemic was frightening and life-threatening for many.

Why do I drop this bomb in the middle of a discussion on gratefulness? Because many people stayed healthy throughout the epidemic. I note that as devastating as the lockdown was for individuals and our economy, those of us left to complain can’t seem to let go. It occurred to me how lucky I am to live in a country that cared enough for “my” well-being, that everything they knew to do at the time was done to protect me and my family.  As good parents do for their ungrateful children, our country made decisions based on the knowledge leaders had at the time. We do not know what would have been different had we not limited our face-to-face interactions. But that is behind us now. Instead of complaining about how my life changed due to those couple of years, I am grateful to live in a country where I can voice my opinion, choose to vaccinate or not, and continue to live my life.

Today I am grateful to have intelligent, caring friends with whom I can discuss issues on which we disagree and remain respectful and appreciative of our relationships. I am grateful for the United States Postal Service that will take a card across the country to let a friend or family member know I am thinking of them.  I am grateful for Amazon, the warehouse workers and the delivery drivers who bring things right to my doorstep.

I am grateful that I can sit outside or stay in – that I have a choice. I am grateful when my grands help clear the table and clean the kitchen or carry out the garbage. I am grateful for my niece who occasionally and randomly sends me a text message just to let me know she is thinking about me.

I am grateful that I have learned not only to be grateful, but to have the ability to think about gratitude.  It lifts my spirits, even to the point of making me smile. In each of our lives every day there is something for which we can be grateful, if only we take a moment to name it.  For what are you grateful today?

Mary Ann

I had the privilege of working in New York City for the last 11 years of my career.   It was an unexpected gift in this twilight time of life.   However, coming from Columbia, SC to the Big Apple was a 180-degree change and the learning curve was straight up.   I would like to share some of my adventures working in fascinating New York City.  Maybe I should have called this blog – Sixty in the City.  It was definitely not Sex in the City.

Besides the high energy of the Big Apple, there are funny little things that seem to only happen there.  I came to work one day and noticed a big, inflated mouse in front of a neighboring building. I went into school and asked why the big mouse was outside.  I wondered if an exterminator was advertising their company.  At that moment, everyone broke out laughing.  The mouse was really a rat, and it was to let everyone know that the landlord of a particular building was a bad guy, a rat!  Well, I must say that is a clever way to let the world know.  Often you will find a rat in a pickup truck parked in front of the offending property for a quick getaway.  That way a rat can show up at any time anywhere.  There are a lot of rats in NYC both fugitively and literally!   

When someone climbs a mountain, a flag is often left to say that the person was there.  In New York City, a flag is raised on the top of a building when the construction crew has reached the summit of the structure.  It proclaims they have reached the top and are not going any further with construction.  The skyscrapers are the city’s mountains.  The construction crews are the mountain climbers. The flag says it all.

I lived in Jersey City and came to work on the PATH each day.  The PATH is a subway train that goes under the Hudson River delivering people at various stops as it goes north in Manhattan.  At times riding the PATH can be like riding a Disney World ride as it flew under the river.  You had to hang on.  Most of the time, we were packed in the cars, so you swayed as a group.  I did notice that each Christmas there was a little lighted Christmas tree about halfway between Jersey City and New York City.  People are so into their own worlds scrolling on their phones or reading or listening to music that I wondered if anyone even noticed.  I imagined some big, burly PATH worker putting up the little tree with twinkling white lights trying to spread a little Christmas cheer.  Maybe no one else noticed it, but I did.  For the month of December, it brought a little joy on my way to work and home again.  Thank you, Mr. Burly PATH Guy! 

New York is a city full of scaffolding.  Building were always getting repairs or whatever. I wished I owned the scaffolding company – big bucks!   There are cranes everywhere.  The skyline looks like a zoo of bobbing birds perched atop of the skyscrapers.  Things going up and down constantly on the cranes.  There are roads that seem to be never done.  I guess you notice it more because everything is concentrated in a small area.  

Yet all this concrete and steel is balanced out with flower stalls on most corners, fruit stands in the warmer months, and little patches of green tucked away throughout the city. There is a surprise around every corner.  You must seek and find the beauty.  I hope to share more of NYC with you in future blogs.

Have you ever heard someone say, “if you can travel with a person, you can live with them”? I suppose the adage comes from experience.  My cousin and I have traveled together for twenty years. And both of us would admit that we would not want to live with each other. We are as different as night and day.  That said, we have found traveling together mostly delightful – and when it is not, we have found ways to cope.

In thinking about our trips, both domestic and international, I wondered whether I should begin looking for someone who is more compatible.  A review of suggestions for a good travel companion yielded qualities that both of us display, for the most part. Let me share what I have learned.

Shared Interests and Open-Mindedness. When planning a trip, someone with interests similar to yours gives you peace of mind. While there may be some compromise in activities, the experience will be richer if you are able to see the sites you want to see.  You may want to be willing to try something new or a little different than you usually try, making your trip more fulfilling.

Expectations and Communication. One of the best ways to ensure you will both have a great time is to see expectations in advance. On a road trip, for example, how long will you drive each day? Do you like to get to your destination quickly or find your way organically? What criteria do you have for lodging? Are you a Motel 6 traveler or do you prefer a Hilton property? Are you a fast-food junkie or do you prefer a sit-down meal at a nicer restaurant? Have you defined a budget set for entertainment and amusement? These and other visions of the ideal trip should be discussed during planning to avoid conflict as the trip progresses. And during the trip if concerns arise, discuss them right away.

Adaptability. Even with the best laid plans, things happen. You and your companion will want to be able to adjust to unexpected changes. Be positive and select a travel partner who can roll with the punches.  A good sense of humor goes a long way to lighten the mood in difficult situations.

Avoid People Who Go To Extremes. This should be common sense.  On flitterfever.com I read an interesting and relevant suggestion. Ask your potential travel buddy their opinion on controversial issues such as the President, vaccinations, conspiracy theories, etc. If you cannot agree to disagree or avoid touchy subjects such as these, you might want to select someone else with whom to travel.

The whole point, obviously, is you want to relax and enjoy your adventure. Choosing a compatible travel companion is Step 1 in making happily memorable experiences. Enjoy!