Category: Lifestyle

Mary Ann

I had the privilege of working in New York City for the last 11 years of my career.   It was an unexpected gift in this twilight time of life.   However, coming from Columbia, SC to the Big Apple was a 180-degree change and the learning curve was straight up.   I would like to share some of my adventures working in fascinating New York City.  Maybe I should have called this blog – Sixty in the City.  It was definitely not Sex in the City.

Besides the high energy of the Big Apple, there are funny little things that seem to only happen there.  I came to work one day and noticed a big, inflated mouse in front of a neighboring building. I went into school and asked why the big mouse was outside.  I wondered if an exterminator was advertising their company.  At that moment, everyone broke out laughing.  The mouse was really a rat, and it was to let everyone know that the landlord of a particular building was a bad guy, a rat!  Well, I must say that is a clever way to let the world know.  Often you will find a rat in a pickup truck parked in front of the offending property for a quick getaway.  That way a rat can show up at any time anywhere.  There are a lot of rats in NYC both fugitively and literally!   

When someone climbs a mountain, a flag is often left to say that the person was there.  In New York City, a flag is raised on the top of a building when the construction crew has reached the summit of the structure.  It proclaims they have reached the top and are not going any further with construction.  The skyscrapers are the city’s mountains.  The construction crews are the mountain climbers. The flag says it all.

I lived in Jersey City and came to work on the PATH each day.  The PATH is a subway train that goes under the Hudson River delivering people at various stops as it goes north in Manhattan.  At times riding the PATH can be like riding a Disney World ride as it flew under the river.  You had to hang on.  Most of the time, we were packed in the cars, so you swayed as a group.  I did notice that each Christmas there was a little lighted Christmas tree about halfway between Jersey City and New York City.  People are so into their own worlds scrolling on their phones or reading or listening to music that I wondered if anyone even noticed.  I imagined some big, burly PATH worker putting up the little tree with twinkling white lights trying to spread a little Christmas cheer.  Maybe no one else noticed it, but I did.  For the month of December, it brought a little joy on my way to work and home again.  Thank you, Mr. Burly PATH Guy! 

New York is a city full of scaffolding.  Building were always getting repairs or whatever. I wished I owned the scaffolding company – big bucks!   There are cranes everywhere.  The skyline looks like a zoo of bobbing birds perched atop of the skyscrapers.  Things going up and down constantly on the cranes.  There are roads that seem to be never done.  I guess you notice it more because everything is concentrated in a small area.  

Yet all this concrete and steel is balanced out with flower stalls on most corners, fruit stands in the warmer months, and little patches of green tucked away throughout the city. There is a surprise around every corner.  You must seek and find the beauty.  I hope to share more of NYC with you in future blogs.

Have you ever heard someone say, “if you can travel with a person, you can live with them”? I suppose the adage comes from experience.  My cousin and I have traveled together for twenty years. And both of us would admit that we would not want to live with each other. We are as different as night and day.  That said, we have found traveling together mostly delightful – and when it is not, we have found ways to cope.

In thinking about our trips, both domestic and international, I wondered whether I should begin looking for someone who is more compatible.  A review of suggestions for a good travel companion yielded qualities that both of us display, for the most part. Let me share what I have learned.

Shared Interests and Open-Mindedness. When planning a trip, someone with interests similar to yours gives you peace of mind. While there may be some compromise in activities, the experience will be richer if you are able to see the sites you want to see.  You may want to be willing to try something new or a little different than you usually try, making your trip more fulfilling.

Expectations and Communication. One of the best ways to ensure you will both have a great time is to see expectations in advance. On a road trip, for example, how long will you drive each day? Do you like to get to your destination quickly or find your way organically? What criteria do you have for lodging? Are you a Motel 6 traveler or do you prefer a Hilton property? Are you a fast-food junkie or do you prefer a sit-down meal at a nicer restaurant? Have you defined a budget set for entertainment and amusement? These and other visions of the ideal trip should be discussed during planning to avoid conflict as the trip progresses. And during the trip if concerns arise, discuss them right away.

Adaptability. Even with the best laid plans, things happen. You and your companion will want to be able to adjust to unexpected changes. Be positive and select a travel partner who can roll with the punches.  A good sense of humor goes a long way to lighten the mood in difficult situations.

Avoid People Who Go To Extremes. This should be common sense.  On flitterfever.com I read an interesting and relevant suggestion. Ask your potential travel buddy their opinion on controversial issues such as the President, vaccinations, conspiracy theories, etc. If you cannot agree to disagree or avoid touchy subjects such as these, you might want to select someone else with whom to travel.

The whole point, obviously, is you want to relax and enjoy your adventure. Choosing a compatible travel companion is Step 1 in making happily memorable experiences. Enjoy!

Mary Ann

It is that time of year when you must begin thinking about graduation gifts or wedding gifts!  I have a simple and meaningful gift that I have given on numerous times over the years.  It just takes some thought about the person you are giving the gift to for whatever the occasion.  I called the gift – Treasures I Wish for You!

It all started one Christmas when I was looking for favors to grace the Christmas table.  I happened to be in Pier 1– remember Pier 1?  What a great store to escape and see all the pretty things and great ideas for holiday decorating.  I wish the stores would come back. Another victim of Covid.  I digress. 

 I found little brightly colored satin boxes that were shaped like treasure chests and others were star shaped.  I ended up buying several of each and thought I would fill that them with representational things that I wished for the recipient.  For example, I would use a penny to wish them wealth, an apple for health, a happy face button for happiness, and so on.   Everyone enjoyed their treasures. 

I then began to make Treasure Boxes for graduations, birthdays, and weddings.  It is a personal expression of love.  I would buy little boxes when I found them.  Sometimes I bought unfinished boxes at Michaels and stained them. Other times, I would buy bone, metal, or finished wooden boxes to give. What is funny is the boys loved these little treasures and what they represented just as much as the girls did – a surprise! 

Now, you may wonder where you get the treasures.  It can be as simple as a penny, or you can search for just the right the items at stores or online.  Stores like Michaels or other craft stores have miniatures sections, scrapbook materials, and doll house accessories. Look at novelty buttons – lots of cute treasures.  Dollar Tree also offer tiny items that be in their craft sections or wedding materials.  You can go on the Internet to find treasures.  Ganz has adorable miniature items to represent a large range of interests. If you want to upscale the gift, the Ganz charms and special boxes can create a classy gift, truly unique! 

I am providing you with a list of what the treasures represent, and you can mix and match for your needs.  I type a list and start the list off with – Treasures I Wish For You, _Name_. Then I list the treasures, and I end with – Dream, imagine, and believe in yourself! Live each day to the fullest. Life is a treasure!  Keeping adding to your box with the passing years.  Fill it to the brim! Once you make a list and fill the treasure box, roll the list up and tie it with a ribbon placing it in the box.

-Ideas for your Treasure Boxes-

A Heart – I wish you love.  Love your family, your friends, your country, your life, yourself

A Penny – I wish you wealth. If given much, share it.

An Apple – I wish you health. Eat right, exercise, and drink lots of water!

A Pocket Angel – to protect you

A Dove – There is always HOPE!

A Snowflake – You are unique, one of a kind!  Be yourself.

A Cross – Trust the Lord with all your heart (Proverbs 3:5) or have faith in something larger than you.

A Little Book – I wish you knowledge. Be a life-long learner.

A Little Gift – Be a gift to the world.

A GEM – Always Go the Extra Mile!

A Mirror – Take time to reflect. It is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.

A Suitcase, Passport, or other travel items– Travel! The world is BIG and there for you to explore.

A Butterfly – Change is Good.  It makes you grow.

A Shamrock – Good Luck! When opportunity crosses preparation, it is luck.  Be prepared.

A Die – Risk! Take a chance! You won’t know unless your try.

A Shoe (for a young lady) – Be Sassy and wear Stilettos!!

A Basketball, a Football, Baseball, etc. – Always be a team player

A Star – Let your light shine through – Sparkle!

A Ballet Slipper – Stay on your toes. Twirl in endless wonder of the world. Leap for joy!

A Dog or Cat – Keep animals and nature in your life – they restore your soul.

A cupcake, golf ball, or other items that represent a hobby – Do things you love.

A phone – Stay in touch with friends and family.  Call your Mom!!

A Flag – Love your country

Magnifying Glass – Keep exploring and creating.

For Weddings – write treasures to both. An example – Snowflake – appreciate the uniqueness of each other.

A Wine Bottle (adults) – Remember to celebrate the big and little joys of life.

Ideas for the Treasure Boxes are endless.  Your own  creativity is your only limit.  Make a memorable, unique gift for your upcoming graduations, birthdays, and weddings.  It will be a treasured gift for years to come.

Mary Ann

It is that time of year when you need to start thinking about Mother’s Day gifts. For many of us, it becomes harder and harder to think something original to give.  Our older mothers seem to have all they want or need, yet we want to remember them on their special holiday.  This idea can be used for birthday, holidays, or I am just thinking of you gift for someone who needs encouragement or get-well wishes.  It is very personal and unique to the recipient. 

The idea came to me one Christmas when I didn’t have much money to spent on gifts, and I had to get creative with something unique to give that year.  So, I got little baskets for the women decorating them in ribbons and silk flowers and little brass containers for the men keeping them plain for a masculine feel.  I called them Wonderful Yous.  Each basket or container is filled with statements about the person being honored and special quotes or Bible verses that he or she might like. Comments from other relatives can be added as well. Grandchildren’s comments can be especially meaningful with the Mother’s Day Wonderful Yous.

Here is what you do to make the Wonderful Yous.  On small pieces of paper, you write something about the person; for example, you have beautiful blue eyes, or you always have a kind word for everyone.  Then you roll them up and tie with a ribbon.   Then put all the scrolls in the basket or container. The following is a little poem, I would attach to the basket that gave instructions about what to do with it. 

                                                      Whenever you are blue, 

                                                      This little basket is full of Wonderful Yous.

                                                      Just pick one out, read, and remember 

                                                      How very special you are!

This is not a hard gift to make.  You can type on your computer using a pretty font or write the comments on white or colored sheets of paper.  It just takes some time and thinking about the person you are making the gift for.  

One of the sweetest things that my friend, Mary, did for me was making a Wonderful Yous basket in the very basket I gave her some years back.  It was so precious to me.  It always brought a smile to my heart while opening the little scrolls.  It made any day happy.  Now it is your turn to make someone happy with their very own Wonderful Yous! 

Mary Ann

I recently read an article that a good way to eat lunch was to graze by making a plate of a few vegetables, fruits, some protein, a few carbs, and a treat.  I would often do this not realizing I was grazing, so I started to think of ways of making this easy, interesting, and healthy. 

Other countries graze in their own unique ways such as smorgasbords or tapas.  In the United States, we supersize foods which end up supersizing us.  So, I set out thinking about how I could incorporate grazing into my life in an orderly fashion. It came to me that Bento Boxes might be a good direction to go.

I ordered a set of five Bento Boxes from Amazon that were dishwasher safe and made of all the safe plastic materials.  You can get boxes that have various size sections. I thought I could make the boxes up on the weekend and have lunch prepared for the next 5 days.  Of course, I would have to shop for food first and have everything ready to go on Sunday.  These are some of the ideas that I found that worked and a few lessons learned about grub that didn’t.  I am still developing menus as I go along.  

The Bento Boxes I used each have five individual sections.   I tried to use one for fruit, one for vegetables, one for proteins, one for nuts and seeds, and one for carbs. These are some of the ideas for the lunches.

Fruits– grapes, cherries, melons (fresh), apples (pre-sliced packs), clementines, kiwis, berries, and bananas (cut to fit the section; the end will turn brown, and you will need to cut it off before you eat).  You could buy a precut fruit tray that offers pineapples and melons to make the prep even easier.  Small containers can be included that might have peanut butter or cream cheese to enhance the fruits.  Another possibility is using dried fruits. 

Vegetables – carrots, celery, raw cauliflower, raw broccoli, peppers, and raw asparagus and beans, and snap peas.  Again, precut vegetable trays would cut prep time. You may have noticed that I didn’t include cucumber.  I found that they are fine early in the week but get soggy as the week progresses.  You can find small containers to put a dip in such as Ranch Dressing. 

Nuts and Seeds – cashews, almonds, pistachios, pecans, walnuts, sunflower seeds, and pumpkin seeds.  I mixed them altogether and used a quarter cup measuring cup to put into one of the sections.  I used the nuts each day.  

Proteins – One of our area groceries stores makes chicken, egg, and tuna salads in small containers that make a perfect and tasty portion for a section.  You, of course, could make your own.  This, however, makes it easy.  You could roll a piece of ham and a piece of cheese around a sweet pickle for sandwich without bread.   This is a perfect place to use a hard-boiled egg.  These can be purchased already cooked and peeled – easy!  Other  possibilities – there are little brie cheese bites from Supreme and Babybel cheese rounds that are both tasty with crackers.  

Carbs –Any seedy, whole grainy crackers (Crunchmaster or Raincoast Crisps by Lesley Stowe) or even a few chips for a treat.  The crackers are great to have with your protein.  

Once the boxes are assembled, put them in the refrigerator ready to be eaten each day of the week.  You are done fixing lunches for the week in a relatively short period of time.  If you are working, your lunch box is ready to go.  Bento Boxes easily go in the dishwasher once you are done eating.  I did find that it was almost too much food.  However, that is a good thing because you have your afternoon snack already to go.  You can graze away your day! 

I am sure you will have some great ideas of your own.  As I said, I am still learning, but as you apply the things you do learn, the easier it gets. There is always room for exploring new ideas and adding tasty items to your menus.  Bon Appetit!    

Why is it that we fail to connect with old friends and extended family members until someone passes away? I have always thought it is more important to make time for others now, than to wait.

Several years ago I randomly thought of a gentleman who served as a mentor to many of us at the university. Even though on paper I outranked him, Terry was one of those people to whom you looked up. Respected. Listened carefully to what he had to say. He had retired a year or so previously and I had not spoken to him since that time.  I was busy, I would tell myself. One day I finally contacted the leadership in his department, asking if there might be an email address or phone number I could use to reach out.  I was informed that he had died just a few days before. I was upset with myself. I would never be able to tell him how much I learned from him and the impact he made.  I vowed at that time that whenever I think of a person, regardless of how random, I stop what I am doing and reach out, right then if possible. Or at least that same day.

In that vein I have made a point to occasionally contact people who have made a difference in my life – friends and family.

After losing my mother, I continue to contact her siblings – my aunts and uncles.  One such uncle was especially fun – always laughing. He had that big booming laugh that my maternal grandfather had. Full of life and love for his family, if I hadn’t reached out to him, he would call me. He spoke for only a couple of minutes. No long, drawn-out conversations were necessary. Just a quick call. One day not long ago I was in a meeting, so my phone went to voice mail.  His message went something like this: “Hey Cynthia. This is your uncle Campbell. I just wanted to let you know I haven’t forgotten you. I hope you haven’t forgotten me. Okay. Love you. Bye.”  It was such a cheerful, cute message I saved it.

Then a few weeks ago, I received a call saying that he was in the ICU, having had a car accident. He passed away about ten days later. The youngest of the five siblings, all in their 90s, he was the second to go in a year’s time.  We all gathered in Memphis to put him to final rest.

As a military veteran, a lovely, timed-to-the-minute ceremony, was held in the rotunda of the impressive Western Tennessee Veterans Cemetery. Bagpipes played. Army personnel tended his ashes and the U.S. flag which was presented to his wife. A 21-gun salute rang through the air. It was both beautiful and touching.

Later that day, a celebration of life dinner was held at his favorite bar-be-que restaurant. Having met with family the night before at my aunt and uncle’s home, and then at the hotel where we all stayed, we deepened our connections and heard stories from his friends. I ensured I had contact information for each cousin who attended and then created a group txt so we could easily stay in touch.

The eight-hour drive home was filled with conversation and ideas. Luckily, my sister had gone with me, so we were able to chat about the weekend. We even talked about our paternal side of the family and how we had all gathered at my brother’s celebration of life a year-and-a-half ago. Now that we are the “top generation” of our family, we are more aware of the time we have left and how we will spend it.

Once again, my thoughts turn to one of my affirmations. Live each day as if it were your last. It may be.

Mary Ann 

One of my favorite sayings is “As Thy Day so Shall Thy Strength Be.”  It is a Bible verse from Deuteronomy (33:25) that I recently discovered the origin.  I should have known with the Thys and the Shall.  It has gotten me through some really challenging times.  It is like the quote, “God only gives you what you can handle.”  Life is hard, and there are always going to be tough times.  

However, everything in our lives that challenges us is not always a problem.  For the most part it is an inconvenience, not a real problem.  Real problems are like the wildfires in Los Angeles or a cancer diagnosis or a loss of a job – how are you going to pay the bills? These are real problems, real worries. 

Often, we call the daily inconveniences that we face, problems.  Traffic jams, phone calls that should be one yes or no answer that take 10 steps to get to it, the wrong order at McDonalds, and on and on.  There is a big difference between a rainy day and a hurricane.

I try to remember the difference as I go about my life.  In the past, no matter what the problem or inconvenience was in my life, my father would always say,” it is all going to be okay, and it was.  I always felt better when he said those words to me, a healing balm. 

I was recently watching Shrinking on Apple TV+.  It was episode 4 of Season 2. The show was centering on problems of the various characters.  Near the end, neighbors Derek and Liz were sitting on the patio with the other cast members.  They were talking about the very comment that my father would make.  Liz asked Derek to do The Special for Brian.  Derek sat down and told Brian to look into his eyes and then Derek said, “Whatever it is, everything is going to be okay.”  There were a few tears.  There is magic in those words just as they had been for me when my father said them to me.  I guess there are many fathers who say that to their family members. 

I try to say those words to my children, but I somehow do not have the gravitas that my father’s words held.  Maybe they mean more than I realize.  Maybe they won’t mean as much until I am gone.  Then they will have to pass it on to their friends, children, or other relatives. 

There is a magnet, card, and a pin by Quotable Magnets that says, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it is not the end.” – Unknown.  Maybe we need to all put that on the refrigerator to remind us that most problems will be resolved, and most are just inconveniences.  

My parents instilled in me the value of volunteering. Although they never really talked about the act of volunteerism nor commented on why they did it, they were always involved in some event. Mom worked frequently at her church. She donated time to the Red Cross, St. Jude’s fund raisers, her local Chamber of Commerce, and the backpack food program. Daddy was always building or making things, hauling supplies, donating and serving food, and so on.  They taught by example.

One of the most impactful actions I will never forget was the year my parents’ Sunday school class were to adopt a family at Thanksgiving … or was it for Christmas? Mom and I (at a young age) visited the mother of the family at her home. The home was very small. The lady offered us coffee and mom accepted. As we watched her from our seats in her kitchen, she took the cups from the cupboard and began washing them, prior to pouring our drinks. Later mom said she did that to show us she was clean, just poor. I asked why some people have to be poor, some rich, and others – as us – just somewhere in between. Mom said it was because the poor had not always had the same opportunities as the more fortunate.

In America, that didn’t make sense to me. Everyone should have the same opportunities, I pondered. Mom thought about it too.  The next Sunday she proposed to her Sunday school class that instead of adopting the family for the holiday, they should adopt the family for a year. They needed to get to know the family and their needs, wants, and desires.  Then, mom met again with the lady. Mom asked if she could iron. The lady said she could, but her iron was not very fancy.

Mom’s class purchased the lady an ironing board and a nice iron, some distilled water, and spray starch. Mom delivered the equipment, along with a stack of clothing to iron. The lady did a beautiful job and was paid per piece, as was the custom in those days.  She asked if she could take on more. The lady was so excited to have the extra money she enthusiastically said “yes!”

Over time, this lady made so much money ironing that she was able to buy a new car and a house. She and mom became friends. Whenever her family needed something, she would call mom and ask what she could do to obtain it. Sometimes her husband was able to work for items; sometimes they paid the cost price; and at times they items were simply donations.

The story was so inspiring to me as a young person that I learned the importance of offering a hand up. People want to maintain their dignity while needing help. Isn’t that why were are all on this earth – to be a good neighbor?  Let us remember the joy we receive when helping others, especially when we can help them with a hand up.