Author: Cynthia

A Taxing Time

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business, Uncategorized

I never worried much about paying taxes when I was working – the payroll department took care of the deductions from my salary before I saw the net. Now that I am retired, I find that my social security income puts me into a “next” tax bracket, thus requiring me to pay quarterly taxes. Still, the time has come to “pony up” as they say, and I still have to write a check to Uncle Sam. Even with the working senior tax break, it seems I don’t qualify.  Interestingly, I make less than when I was working, but seem to pay higher taxes. It’s frustrating.

Contributing to a tax system is often viewed as a burden, but it can be reframed as a profound expression of social membership and a “subscription fee” for a functional civilization. When we pay taxes, we are essentially investing in the collective stability and infrastructure that allow individual success to flourish in the first place. From the roads that connect our commerce to the legal systems that protect our property and rights, taxes represent our shared stake in a society that is larger and more resilient than any one person could maintain alone.

Stressed person reviewing tax forms and receipts using a calculator at a kitchen table.

Furthermore, the ability to pay taxes is often a direct reflection of personal economic agency and the privilege of opportunity. In a well-structured society, the obligation to contribute typically rises with one’s level of financial security, meaning that a tax bill is frequently a byproduct of having accessed a thriving market, a quality education, or a safe environment. Recognizing this link transforms the act of filing from a chore into an acknowledgment of the structural advantages—such as public safety, research and development, and stable governance—that provided the ladder for one’s own achievements.

Ultimately, taxes serve as the primary mechanism for fostering the “common good” and ensuring a baseline of dignity for all citizens. They fund the schools that educate the next generation, the parks that provide communal beauty, and the social safety nets that catch the vulnerable during times of crisis. To pay into this system is to participate in a silent, cross-generational pact: we benefit from the investments made by those who came before us, and in turn, our contributions build the foundation for those who will follow. In this light, paying taxes is less about what is being taken away and more about what we are choosing to build together.

We all like to grumble periodically about the voluntary taxes we pay. (Voluntary has always seemed a misnomer to me – but that is for another time). Admittedly, when I drive from state-to-state, or see our military men and women, or visit a National Park, my heart swells with pride.  I am proud to be an American – a Native American, at that. So I am grateful for the opportunity to pay my fair share to support the greater good.

Happy Easter

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

Growing up, my family attended a Disciples of Christ, First Christian Church. As with many Christian churches, the Holy Week was a time of deep reflection and spiritual renewal – fitting as the religious holiday falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal (Spring) equinox, i.e. first day of Spring. This determination was established by the Council of Nicaea in 325 AD. The date of Easter fluctuates but will fall on a Sunday between March 22 and April 25.

The formula was designed so that Easter usually falls after the holiday of Passover.  The Lenten season begins with Ash Wednesday which is calculated by counting back 46 days from Easter, allowing for the traditional 40 days of fasting and six Sundays. Interestingly, the word Easter appears only in one verse in Acts in the King James version of the New Testament and is considered by Biblical scholars as a mistranslation of the Hebrew word for Passover. Early Christians celebrated Jewish holidays, albeit with a new determination.

Still, Easter has come to be a remembrance of the birth and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Some argue that the name Easter is derived from the pagan celebration of the goddess of rebirth, Eostre, around the spring equinox. Our use of eggs and bunnies reflect this theme of spring and birth. Regardless of its origins, Christians have for centuries adopted Easter as a significant milestone in their spiritual calendar.

Although my religious upbringing did not emphasize Lent as do other traditions, we did spend a lot of time at church during Holy Week, beginning with Palm Sunday. I recall the children marching down the aisles waving palm branches and singing hosanna. Even today, the memory stirs something deep in my soul. It brings to life the difference a week can make – from the throngs following Jesus and cheering to the brutal assassination five days later.

I recall how various church members faithfully prayed around the clock, each person taking their turn to keep prayer going from the Maundy Thursday service through Good Friday, sunrise services, and the “official” Easter morning service.  It was a time of “coming together” for the greater good.

These memories seem to be flooding my mind this year.  Maybe because of one of my 2026 goals – to read the entire Bible in a year. Yes, I have read the Bible before, but I’ve never made a concerted effort to read it within a year’s timeframe. Maybe it is because as I grow older and my family is off living their own lives, I am calling upon other forms of solace. Maybe I am looking for a level of calm and integrity. Maybe it is simply a full circle moment.  Regardless, I wish for you a lovely spring, peace, and deviled eggs and chocolate bunnies.

Author’s Note: While I share my religious memories here, please know that this reflection is just that – thoughts of my study and my upbringing. I have studied several other religions and respect both the teachings of each and the individual’s choice to follow another … or none at all.

Saying Goodbye to The Greatest Generation

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

I have been extremely fortunate to enjoy a close-knit family. Special relationships with aunts and uncles and cousins have enhanced the quality of my life. As I age, so do they, until unfortunately, their lives on this earth come to an end. Maybe it is the longevity in my family that makes it all the more difficult. I have come to expect they will be there when I call – that the card I sent will be read.

This month would have marked the 100th birthday of my Uncle Bob. He served in the Navy during World War II. He was on the SS Yorktown. After the war he owned a flower shop and a department store in a small town in mid-America. Then he and his wife, my mother’s twin sister, moved to the city where my parents lived. When I visited my parents, I would also visit my aunt and uncle.  Upon retirement, my cousin moved from California to North Carolina – and took her parents with her.

My sister and I visited last September and were overjoyed to be able to spend time with them. Uncle Bob was especially thrilled to see us. We laughed and talked and met his new friends in the retirement village where they lived. When we left, Uncle Bob followed us all the way around the building on his scooter, just so he could say goodbye one more time. The reunion was delightful and filled our souls.

On the occasion of his birthday, there was no question that we would attend a celebration of his 100 years. However, he passed away peacefully just two weeks short of that birthday. The party we attended turned out to be a Celebration of Life after a funeral service that rightly honored a remarkable man.

He found joy in so many areas of his life.  Steve Hartman of CBS Sunday Morning even did an expose’ on him and two young boys who learned of his time on the Yorktown. They began corresponding with Mr. Harding and eventually the three of them were able to meet in person. That began a friendship that lasted twelve years. The young people last visited him soon after my sister and I left North Carolina. Another blessing for his long and prosperous life.

No, he was not wealthy – at least not in the way we often define wealth. But his life was rich with experiences and full of love. He loved God, his country, and his family and friends. He smiled easily, laughed heartily, and spread happiness everywhere he went.

At 96, my aunt mourns his passing. Yet she is doing well, knowing he is in “a better place” and no longer struggling as he did the final two months.  She knows when the time comes, she will rejoin her husband of 77 years.

While I am quite sad at the loss of my loved-ones’ lives, I am grateful for the tremendous love I have enjoyed over the years.

Keeping Track

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

Do you have multiple health care professionals with whom you work? While I am healthy overall, I find that I am juggling physical therapy, nutrition, and various medical appointments. Of course I have a calendar, but it seems pertinent to keep track of who I have seen, when, and the resulting action.

For example, I have been experiencing increasing lower back pain. So much so that my doctor ordered an x-ray and then an MRI.  Looking back at my records, I was reminded that I had an x-ray and MRI on my back two years ago.  I was thinking it would make sense to get a comparative analysis of the two, to see if my situation has worsened or remained the same. My doctor had not recognized the history.

I have always said that you need to take control of your own health. We live in a world where we expect doctors to know our issues and take care of us. We sometimes fail to remember they have other patients – many other patients. And doctors are human. They can miss findings or simply are too busy to scan past entries in our charts.  To be honest, I don’t even remember everything I have had tested, poked, or prodded.

I started keeping a file for each “issue”.  I list the date, the attending physician or medical professional, the purpose, and the result. I have found this history helpful when reviewing treatment.

Many years ago, 1996 to be precise, congress passed the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). The primary purpose was to give patients access to their health records and allow patients to have control of who sees their health information. Standards were set for security and privacy. One provision, which has yet to be implemented by all facilities, was to develop a standard for reporting to offer better care for the patient. That is, each provider would use a system that could be available to other providers.  Some of the bigger health care systems have enabled that feature, usually through a patient portal. Yet we still have a long way to go.

Such a system would be a challenge to implement, but in my humble opinion it could advance health care significantly. Health care providers could have the “whole picture” of a patient’s health. I am hopeful that such a system will be devised in my grandchildren’s lifetime.

Meanwhile, I will keep my lists and drag them to the doctor’s office in the off-chance that I get more than ten minutes with her. 

Finding the Good in the Bad

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

I was scheduled to attend the 100th birthday party of a dear uncle. Planning the road trip for a 19-hour drive was exciting. Riding along would be my sister, cousin, and another aunt who is 94-years old. What a celebration it would be.  But then my aunt – my mother’s 96-year-old twin sister called to say my uncle had passed away. Only a few weeks before turning 100.  I was sad. He was a special man.

The birthday party is now a Celebration of Life. This event, and other things happening in the world caused me to wonder: “Can a person find joy when suffering a loss?” “Is bad necessary for good to have meaning?”

Finding the “silver lining” can often feel like a cliché—especially when you’re in the middle of a storm. However, finding goodness during difficult times isn’t about pretending the bad doesn’t exist; it’s about expanding your perspective to see what else is present.

I pondered how to navigate the darkness without losing sight of the light. Here are some insights that may help when the “bad” things happen, whether loss of a loved one, a war, a fire, or some other occurrence that is somewhat negative.

The first step to finding goodness is facing reality. The internal “this shouldn’t be happening” often creates more suffering than the event itself. Try practicing radical acceptance and stop pouring energy into the “why”. Start focusing on “what now?” Acceptance creates the mental space necessary to notice the small, positive details you might otherwise miss.

Fred Rogers famously advised: “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” When bad things happen, they often trigger a wave of human connection. Look for the friend who checks in, the stranger who offers a hand, or the professional who provides clarity. The goodness is often found in the collective empathy that a crisis ignites.

When the big picture is bleak, shrink your world. You don’t need to find a grand purpose in your pain immediately. Instead, look for micro-joys:

  • The warmth of a cup of coffee.
  • A moment of quiet in a chaotic day.
  • A bird landing outside your window.
  • The fact that you handled a difficult hour with grace.

These aren’t distractions; they are evidence that life is still functioning and capable of providing comfort.

Language shapes our reality. When we say, “I’m happy, but this bad thing happened,” we negate the happiness. If you switch to “and,” you allow both truths to exist simultaneously: “I am grieving, (scared, depressed, etc.) and I am grateful for the support I have.” This allows you to honor your pain without letting it erase the goodness that remains.

Bad experiences are often the most fertile ground for personal evolution. Ask yourself:

  • What strength am I discovering that I didn’t know I had?
  • How is this shifting my priorities for the better?
  • What am I learning from my reaction to this situation?

The “goodness” isn’t in the bad event itself, but in the resilience you build because of it.

Finding goodness isn’t a destination; it’s a muscle. The more you look for it, the more your brain becomes wired to find it. You aren’t ignoring the “bad”—you are simply refusing to let it be the only thing you see.

No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell._ ~Carl Jung

Women Helping Others

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

Often you hear how women are our own worst enemies. Instead of supporting each other, we stab each other in the back. While that may have been true in the past and in many cases, I have found many examples of the opposite. Having made a commitment to myself years ago, that I would serve as an example of how to help and support other women, I am consistently delighted to witness how strong, confident women help build others. Following the old adage, “a rising tide lifts all boats” I find it satisfying when one lifts up another.

I’ve been watching The Murdoch Mysteries. Main characters in the saga include female doctors and the dilemma and challenges facing them as they attempt to navigate careers in male-dominated fields. One doctor mentored the younger doctor, always providing expert advice and support. At the same time, other women turned their backs on both doctors as they were not living “traditional lives” as wives and mothers.  Although this is not the theme of the series, as a [former] professional woman I find the stories all too familiar.

I recall a time when as a new Ph.D. in technology I encountered almost no women in my field. At conferences I would be one of three women among hundreds of men. Some men would scoff at us; others would condescendingly “help” us find our way through the jungle of men and topics.

Time passed. More women joined the professions.  Careers progressed. Or did they? Interestingly, throughout my career I found I was paid less than men, even as I progressed up the proverbial ladder. Some women accused me of “sleeping my way to the top” while others called me dragon lady and names not fit for print.  A few, however, took me under their wings and led me through meetings, supporting me along the way.  Those women, I will never forget.

One such woman is now in assisted living. She is 89 and struggling with degenerative spine issues. I visit her regularly and consistently remind her that she made a positive impact on my life. For that I am forever grateful. She was a pillar of our community, always helping, supporting, and lifting other women. She told me recently that many of her friends were dead and the ones still living do not visit her. Even the woman she practically gave her business to and who lives ten minutes from her has not visited. I find this not only sad, but disrespectful.

“Mankind should be our business” Lew Hayward (John Forsythe) tells Frank Cross (Bill Murray) in Scrooged.  I love that movie! The message, again, isn’t about women, but it *is* about the importance of helping one another. So I ask you, dear reader, to take a moment and think about those who have lifted you up over the years. A friend. A colleague. A family member. Take time to call and thank them for helping you. Let them know how they made a difference in your life.

For now, I gratefully am off to have coffee with a former co-worker who after nine years of retirement has contacted me to ask for a reference, because she said I made an impact in her life. I am shedding tears of joy.  What goes around, comes around, I suppose.

Laughter – A Best Medicine

by Cynthia, posted in Reviews

In the past I was always trying new things.  I took classes, seminars, and lots of certifications, many of which were not at all closely related to my profession.  One such certification was Laughter Yoga.  I had so much fun learning about the value of laughing.

Your body does not know the difference between contrived laughs and laughs generated from humor. The physiological mechanisms such as inhaling, exhaling, and muscle movement are the same. So creating laughter is easy and anyone can do it.  Laughter yoga is particularly effective for people who might not feel like laughing. People who struggle with depression, cancer patients, etc. can be taught to simulate laughter.

Dr. Michael Miller, a cardiologist and medical professor at the University of Pennsylvania posits a hearty laugh is good for your heart, immune system, and additional health benefits. Even from the time of ancient Greeks to the present people have studied the use of laughter. Gelotology, the modern study of laughter, began emerging in the 1960s when many of us were mere children, who laughed spontaneously. Why as adults did we lose the ability to laugh easily? Jenny Rosendhal, a senior researcher of medical psychology at Jena University in Germany found that laughter-inducing therapies decreased glucose levels, as well as cortisol and chronic pain. Now that’s something for us to consider as we begin experiencing the aches and pains of aging!

While it feels a bit awkward at first, you will find that when you start with saying “hee hee ho ho ha ha ha” repeatedly your mouth begins to turn up and before you know it you are in a full belly laugh. (I know you are trying it right now as you read this post!).

One way to laugh more is to get with another person. Look into each other’s eyes and repeatedly say “ha ha” for at least a minute. Before you know it, you will laugh aloud. Of course there are additional techniques that stem from laughter yoga classes. Yet the decision to laugh is contagious, even if it is just for yourself. Look into a mirror and make faces while making laughing sounds.  If those don’t work, try calling a friend.  Tell “dad” jokes. Agree to laugh.

Make laughter a part of your daily routine. The more you laugh, the lighter you will feel. And with that big smile across your face, people will wonder what you are up to!

Reflection

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

Several years ago I vowed to keep in touch with friends. When I thought of someone I would reach out within 24 hours. Technology makes it easier than ever before. We can make phone calls, send an email, craft a text message, or even use direct messaging on social media platforms. There is no excuse for not staying in touch with people.

Sometimes, though, people whom you respect are not close friends.  Mary Ann told me she read that most people have five truly close friends and about 150 acquaintances. At the time I thought, “I don’t have that many.” I resolved this year to add one friend to my repertoire of five.  In our senior years, developing friendships is even more difficult than when we were younger – and it was hard enough “back then.”

All that to say, sometimes there are people in your life that slip through your fingers. One of my acquaintances with whom I sometimes have lunch has been on my mind a lot of late. Each day I thought I would reach out to her by some means other than email as she had not responded to my messages for some time.  Still, I didn’t stop and take the time.  Then a few days ago, another friend sent me a text message with a link to an obituary.  Her husband had passed away unexpectedly a week before.

Immediately I picked up the phone and called.  She answered by saying, “Hello, Cynthia.” I expressed my condolences and offered to call the next week to schedule a time we could get together. I attended her husband’s (Don’s) funeral two days later.

Funerals are designed to be times to remember and honor the person who passed. They are for meeting with the family for a short moment in time, lending support and caring. Don’s funeral was well attended. Many of the people there were men and women with whom I had worked for years, all coming together in a common thread.  The service was full of remembrances and somewhat traditional.

Honestly, I cannot remember attending a traditional funeral for quite some time. Most of the services I have attended were more in the category of “Celebration of Life” opposed to a funeral with scripture and hymns. Yet, Don and his wife, my friend, are devout Christians, thus a fitting tribute to his life.

We are now at the age that we have begun to lose family members and friends. Life on earth is not eternal. These occurrences remind us to live each day fully, to love deeply, to be peaceful, and to shine light on whatever we are doing.

As I reflect on my life and those of my family, friends and acquaintances, I am reminded of the importance of connection …. Before it is too late. I hope to be remembered as a person who cared about others, who lifted them up, who spread happiness as often as possible.  How would you like to be remembered?

I wish for you, dear readers, Peace, Love, and Light.

Revive (Create?) Your Love for Reading

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

Throughout my career I read constantly. I read professional and industry journals and publications. I read books about leadership, business, and education. I reviewed websites and online articles. You get the picture.  My guess is you also read information necessary to keep you informed and successful.  Once I retired, I believed I would read all those books in my wall of bookshelves that I never had time to sit with.

My excitement for reading waned as I faced the reality of retirement. After a few months, however, I realized that I missed not only reading but people to “unpack” what I had just read.  So, I attempted to start of book club. After a few false starts, I ended up with some fellow readers. Some really just wanted the comradery; others wanted an intellectual outlet. Over time, I settled into a group who decided to meet for coffee and discussion.

Often, I am asked: “how does your book club select the books to read?”  This is one of my favorite features of the book club I am in.  Every six months, we bring potential titles to a discussion. Rather than limiting ourselves to a particular genre, anything is an option. We discuss the books based on their authors, reviews, and lists on which they appear. As such, we have read historical fiction, memoirs, non-fiction, and even a “beach read” here and there. We have enjoyed Pulitzer Prize and other winning titles and self-published tomes. Many of the books I would otherwise not have read if not for sharing the love of reading and discussion with others.

Reading can open your eyes and heart to ideas and worlds you have never visited. Unfortunately, the percent of people who read for pleasure during an average day has dropped 12% since 2004. That figures reflects not only books but also audiobooks, e-books, and magazines. Those interviewed find they spend time scrolling social media or watching television.  If you find yourself among those who would like to read more but struggle to get started, here are a few tips.

Start with the Right Book. Don’t start with War and Peace or some other doorstop. Rather select something that may bring your joy. Look for a variety of places to find titles that may be of interest. I subscribe to several book list recommendations or follow the link when someone points me to another list. You can get recommendations from friends, your local librarian, and online communities (there are a lot!). One free list I receive regularly is “Readworthy by BookBub.”

Set a reading routine. Schedule a certain time of day that you believe you would enjoy “taking a break.” Plan to read a set number of pages, a chapter, or a specified amount of time. Start small. Determine a particular place that you will also read. This special location signals that it is time to read. Leave the phone in another room or put it on silent for your reading period.

Experiment with formats. E-books or audio books offer an alternative to traditional paper books. Many libraries offer electronic versions at no charge.  Audio books allow you to listen to a book while doing household chores or taking a walk (although for safety purposes I would avoid having earbuds in while walking.)

Set a reading goal. If you are a goal-oriented person, attempting to reach a certain number of books may be just the motivation you need! However, you may want to use social media or a reading tracker to encourage you to keep at it. This year one of my reading goals is to read the entire Bible in a year. I found a tracker (The Bible Recap) that suggests what to read each day and includes a short video reviewing what I read. Additionally, I set a goal to read 24 books.

Give yourself permission to skip a read. This one is the hardest for me! But reading should not feel like a burden.  If you find you are not enjoying a book, you are not obligated to finish it. A male friend of mine once told me he thought women seemed to feel they owe the author to finish a book.  Maybe he is right. I’m working on that!

All-in-all, reading offers me a chance to expand my creative thinking, introduces me to perspectives I may not have considered, and allows me to slow down and relax for a few minutes. Maybe it will do the same for you. Grab a cup of tea, a lightweight throw, and a book.  You may find you are a reader after all.

Portfolio Diet

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

The panic on my PA’s face said it all. My cholesterol is way too high. She all but said I would die any minute if I didn’t get on a statin. I smiled and told her I was first diagnosed with high cholesterol when I was 40. Now, thirty years later, I still have high cholesterol.

Then, as now, the “doctor” tells me to avoid fried food. Cut out red meat. Eliminate carbs. Really?! I have been a vegetarian most of my life. The “avoid” list will not help me because I already “avoid” those foods. Doctors are not educated in nutrition. Their advice says what not to do without suggestions on what to do; other than take pharmaceuticals.

“A cholesterol diagnosis is not just about numbers on a lab report. It challenges how you see your body, your habits, and your future. It can quietly undermine your confidence, making you feel as though control has slipped out of your hands.” *

Every time I get the blood test results, it is the same advice. So I continue to watch YouTube videos, read articles, and research potential “cures.” Recently, I came across the Portfolio Diet, developed by Dr. David J. A. Jenkins, the nutrition scientist and physician who developed the glycemic index. Dr. Jenkins has what seems to be a “formula” for cholesterol reduction.  His approach “combines four categories of cholesterol-lowering foods into a daily ‘portfolio’, much like diversifying investments to achieve a stronger overall result.” *

Statins do not cure high cholesterol; they simply inhibit the liver from creating it. I wonder what makes my liver create so much? Hmmm.

The Portfolio approach combines four cholesterol-lowering components. They are viscous fiber, plant sterols, plant protein, and nuts. Each of these components work with LDL in different ways. They block absorption, increase excretion, and help clear cholesterol from the blood.

Interestingly, this diet was first published about 25 years ago. Why am I just now hearing about it? When I went in search of spread with plant sterols added, the manager at Natural Grocers had never heard of the diet, either.

For my approach to living, the protein (legumes, beans), fiber (grains, vegetables), and nuts are easy.  Plant sterols are in fruits and vegetables but according to Dr. Jenkins, one needs 2 grams per day – more than one could get just through eating.  So, I will continue to research.

Meanwhile, I will eat my almost vegan diet and hope the next blood test turns out a little better. At the least, it is fun to have a research quest to fill the days of snow and cold, all while knowing I am doing the best I can for my internal health. Stay tuned!

*Quote is from *The Portfolio Diet dr. David Jenkins* by David J. Martins RDN. Printed in Coppel, Texas, January, 2026.