Author: Cynthia

The Martha’s Vineyard Beach and Book Club

by Cynthia, posted in Reviews

By Martha Hall Kelly

When my book club selected this book for our June discussion, I was delighted to know we would be reading a … well … “beach read.”  You know the genre. Easy, light-hearted. The kind of book you just enjoy reading without thinking too much.  I should have known it would be more than that, since Ms. Kelly also wrote *Lilac Girls*, a historical novel set in World War II.

The Martha’s Vineyard Beach and Book Club also is set in World War II.  The story centers around two sisters – Briar and Cadence Smith – who create a book club to cope with the war and with their station in life.

The girls become entangled with romance and espionage, with community and family issues, all while living on Martha’s Vineyard. Cadence is hopeful she can break free of the island and make her way in New York City. Briar, on the other hand, longs for the past and a simpler time.

Martha’s Vineyard Beach and Book Club is a story drawn from Ms. Kelly’s family history and uses little known information about Martha’s Vineyard’s part in World War II.  Themes focus on family, female friendships, the power of literature, and ways to find a sense of “normal” during wartime.

I read the book in two days; thus it *was* an easy read. I was struck by the reference to so many other books that I began to jot down the titles when I ran across them — 39 if I got them all! Most of the titles or authors I recognized, but a few sent me searching for more information. Always on the lookout for books to read, I was intrigued by the extensive list, which did not detract from the story line.

As with many books of late, the author includes a bit of modern intrigue with a little twist at the end. Although I anticipated the outcome, Kelly included an unanticipated detail, making for a happy ending.

The book was enjoyable while informative. Historical fiction is my favorite genre. I like to learn about aspects of the past that may be applied to today. It is said that history repeats itself. Hopefully we can use historical facts to inform decisions today.  If not, at least we can enjoy a good story.

Why do I Write?

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that Mary Ann sent me a book written by her friend Mark McNease. The book, Blank Page to Bookshelf, is about writing fiction, developing characters, and self-publishing. I fall naturally into the self-publishing space. Several years have passed since I attended a weekend writers’ workshop sponsored by a publishing house. I enjoyed the weekend learning about others’ projects and hearing well-known authors talk about their craft. Yet, the thing that most stuck with me was when the head of the publishing house said – and I paraphrase here – there are so many people who want to write a book that it is virtually impossible to get the attention of an editor. One’s best bet is to self-publish.

Once you have sold 100,000 copies, the publishing houses are more likely to pick you up. The interesting thing about that concept is this: if I can sell 100,000 copies myself, why would I then give my publication to an organization who is now going to take 60% or more of my sales? That set the stage for me … and I self-published two books which I then used at workshops. Now all these years later, self-publishing is quite acceptable.

Woman writing in a journal at a desk with computer and books

Although I work more in the non-fiction space, McNease’s book sparked some thoughts for me to ponder. One such question he posed is “why do you write?”  Honestly, I had never thought about why I write.  I just do.  I sit at my keyboard, and words trickle out through my fingers and onto the screen. Is it important to know why I write? I don’t know.

When I was approaching my 30th birthday an astrologer told me I was a writer. This skill somehow showed up in several houses on my birth chart. (Is that even a thing?) I found the idea fascinating as I never had considered the possibility. Yet for some unknown reason I have always remembered Brenda telling me so. I had barely begun my career in higher education, having earned my first doctorate not long before. At the time my biggest concern was that I must “publish or perish” as they say in the industry.

I recall struggling to put words on the page – not because I had nothing to say, but I wasn’t certain I knew how to say things eloquently enough. Still, when I would reread articles, reports, research papers, and monographs months after completing the writings, I thought they were not half bad – some even pretty good. *smile*  And that has held true throughout my career.

When Mary Ann suggested (for three years before we finally got down to business) that we start publishing a blog, I figured it would be easy to write. The hard part, in all honesty, was setting up the site, learning the platform, and developing a schedule. The two of us over-planned, until finally we said, “it doesn’t have to be perfect.” We will learn as we go. When we were able to let go of perfection, we could do what we enjoyed. Write.

So why do I write?  I guess I just find it relaxing to record my thoughts. Not everyone enjoys writing but we all have outlets. What do you do that releases your creative juices?

A Pain in the Back

by Cynthia, posted in Wellness

I have mentioned before that I’m having some back issues. I join approximately 75.8 million adult Americans who experience low back pain, and 28% of those have chronic pain. It seems back pain is one of the most common and disabling health conditions globally. At least I am in good company.

I have had x-rays and MRIs and several different doctors have reviewed the films. I have had Dexa scans and echo-light scans to determine the density in my skeleton. All those fun things our doctors order because that’s the thing to do.  The process has been interesting to say the least.

Recently I met with a neurosurgeon. His staff was attentive, asking me to turn my legs this way and that and to twist and bend to the best of my ability. When the doctor came into the examination room, he pulled up the MRS and told me I had mild-to-moderate arthritis which probably caused some scoliosis. He recommended physical therapy and pain management. Surgery was not currently necessary, thankfully.

Woman standing on street holding lower back in pain

I had just finished six weeks of physical therapy and continued to do as many of the exercises at home as I could. Next, I met with the pain management doctor.

Once again, the pain management doctor reviewed with the MRI. He, however, painted a much gloomier picture. After setting out a plan of action, heavily influenced by health insurance, he started out of the room. On his way out he commented, “You are doing great! Looking at your MRI, I expected to see you in a wheelchair.”  What?! How did I go from “mild-to-moderate” to needing a wheelchair?! Which doctor was closer to being correct?

The experiences reminded me that the most important person in one’s health regiment is oneself. Each of us must decide which recommendation to take. In the case of back pain, there are a few things you can do to prevent or to lessen the pain as you get older. The CDC and others recommend tips to help. Following are some that have helped me.

Maintain a healthy diet and weight (for everything, not just your back!)

Remain as active as possible, under your doctor’s supervision

Avoid prolonged inactivity or bed rest; movement lubricates the joints

Warm up or stretch before exercising

Maintain proper posture

Always listen to your doctor. Ask questions. Discuss solutions.  If your doctor is not open to having conversations with you about your health, you may wish to seek out a professional who will. You are in control of the solutions you ultimately use. No one knows you, better than you.

*This post is the opinion of the author and should not be construed as medical advice!

Secure Online Accounts

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

For many years we have heard how to create a strong defense against cybercriminals. We have been told to change passwords every three months, at least. Never use the same password for two or more sites or accounts. Don’t tell anyone your password. Use a combination of lower case, upper case, and numbers … and maybe even special characters. As the guidelines change, so do the cybercriminals and their tools – or is it the other way around?

While I do change my passwords frequently for well-used accounts, I have random accounts that don’t get updated quite as often as they should. You know those accounts that you are forced to create when you want to order food or items online. Those annoying restaurants and stores that really just want to spam you with unnecessary coupons, advertisements, and enticements to try to get you hooked on their products.

Person creating a secure password with tips like mixed characters, numbers, symbols, and long length
A person learning how to create a strong, secure password at their computer

Going through those accounts and attempting to close them or at least to change passwords and email addresses can be a chore! Still, wading through the barrage can be somewhat satisfying, knowing that your online footprint will be a bit smaller.  Some accounts are more difficult than others. There is no clear way to close the account and have your data expunged. It takes much more time and effort.

One thing I have noticed, however, is that many of the accounts automatically add the multifactor authorization (MFA). And on those that do not, it is a good idea to add it yourself. MFA is the requirement to use more than just a password to get into the account. It may use a passkey, a code sent to the phone, or even an authentication application.

The National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) publishes new warnings and guidelines periodically. One of their recommendations is to move beyond passwords, stating passwords are not as secure as other methodologies. Hackers steal passwords through data breaches and through phishing attempts.

NIST suggests that if you do use passwords, make them at least 15 characters long. They also recommend to use a password manager, so you your long password will not have to be remembered; and always use MFA.

With over 3,000 data breaches in 2024, it goes without saying that some of your data has already been compromised.  Yet, if you are vigilant, you are less likely to have your data taken by those evil people who prefer to lie and steal for a living. (She said with a smile). Seriously, in this world of “everything online” do your best to protect your information. And keep smiling!

Blowing in the Wind

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

Remember the Peter, Paul, and Mary song “Blowin’ in the Wind”? Well, I don’t know if the answer is blowing in the wind, but I do know there is a lovely way to know the wind is coming through.

I can’t remember when I first fell in love with the sound of wind chimes but for as long as I can remember I have enjoyed hearing the melodious … and sometimes tinkling … sounds as the breeze hits the paddles on the chimes. The wind finds its way through the hanging structures and tickles the components designed to strike one another.  Today as I sit with nothing particular to do or place to be, I can enjoy the music of the many wind chimes hung along my deck.

Usually, I just subtly enjoy the sounds emanating from the chimes but today I am focused on the joy of these little additions to my urban oasis. Often, I have wondered how the neighbors react to my chimes. My deck faces the side of one neighbor’s home and the gentleman who lives there is the nicest of people. He recently married. I was delighted when his beautiful wife added a chime to their front yard, joining mine in chorus.

I am reminded of a fun city – Casey, Illinois – where their tag line is “Big Things, Small Town.” Jim Bolin owned a pipeline business. On a family vacation his daughter fell in love with a tea shop in Colorado and asked her parents if they could start a tea shop in their small town. Jim felt they needed a way to draw people off the interstate to their tea shop. One day when he was listening to his wind chime, he wondered “what is the world’s largest wind chime?” Using pipes from his business it took two years to create just that. And the town caught on. This little town is full of “world’s largest” items. While some of their items may not be the world’s largest, all are still amazingly huge. The town is creative, innovative, and just plain fun. They love their visitors who stay, shop, and eat there … and who of course, take lots of pictures!  I even bought a couple of wind chimes at the tea shop to take home as gifts along with the story of the town.

When selecting wind chimes, I admit I am a bit picky. Okay. I am very picky. I want chimes that have a lovely, tonal quality.  Some chimes are pretty, festive, or cute but they have that shrill tinny sound that is more distracting than calming. Wind chimes don’t have to be large to produce soothing sounds. In fact, some of my lovely chimes are so heavy they only ring when the wind is blowing really hard. Those I enjoy just watching them sway while the others take on the responsibility of creating music.

Do you have a wind chime? Next time you have your door open or sit outside, take time to allow yourself to be enveloped by the sounds emanating from your chime. And then smile as you remember this is one way nature calls to you.

Honk Honk from the Porch

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

The idea of porch geese became an outdoor décor frenzy during the 1980s. Recently they have made a comeback. The fascinating thing is that it’s not just us old timers! TikTok and Instagram videos have gone viral, attracting Millennials and Gen Z-ers to the “sport” of displaying their goose in relevant holiday style. Yes, minimalism is out, at least when it comes to one’s porch goose. What makes them fun and unique is they are adorned with a variety of outfits.  It reminds me of playing Barbie when I inherited my great-grandmother’s hatbox which became my Barbie clothes and accessories suitcase.

Porch geese can be created from any number of materials: concrete, ceramic, and plastic are the most common. These “dolls” are not cheap. Concrete ones cost around $150.00.

There are even Porch Geese clubs! One such club is The Porch Goose Club of America which offers “holiday contests, laughs, and most of all a safe place to be silly with friends from all around the world.” There is a Facebook group for Porch geese aficionados. These people are serious collectors – in a fun and light-hearted manner!

To be honest, I don’t remember porch geese or the garden goose as a trend in the 1980s. Of course, I was finishing graduate school and building my career while rearing my daughter as a single parent. Having a porch goose would have been unnecessary even if I had known about them. I do remember my sister having Gooseberry cookbooks. I wonder if those were popular because of porch geese.

Recently I learned about the porch goose craze because my 84-year aunt, whom I adore and hang out with frequently, had one on her porch. It was dressed to the nines! The goose and several outfits had been given to her by her granddaughter. Lucy (Goosey), as she calls the little darling changes clothes frequently. She was so much fun, I decided to get one for my sister for her birthday.

Lisa loves to decorate for every holiday imaginable (not sure where she gets that – ahem) and she lives somewhat in the country, so I knew she would enjoy a fun little addition to her front porch. Her goose is Flo(rence). I sent Flo to her along with outfits for gardening, birthday, and Independence Day.

On May Day I usually give flowers or plants to people, but I failed to plan ahead this year. I went out to lunch and when I returned home, I noticed something flowery was on my deck. I assumed it was my aunt (rightly so) who left me a plant. But when I went to the deck, I found Daisy Ganderella in a ruffled dress, holding a small straw basket that contained a fresh Gerbera daisy (hence her name, you see).  So, I have officially joined the porch goose craze.

I can’t help but smile when I see Daisy G. on the deck. I wonder what the squirrels think of her.

Finding A Little Slice of Happy

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

Last week was mind-numbing. Without going into too much detail, I experienced a scary situation which filled me with anxiety. My mind was constantly racing with random thoughts of what to do. I felt violated, frustrated, and distraught.  At first I could not sleep.  While I forced myself to put something healthy into my mouth, I just was not hungry – which is quite unusual for me!  I even had to tell Mary Ann I would be unable to post a blog on Thursday. She, of course, came to the rescue. I spent the week dealing with the issue.

As the fog lifted I agreed to have coffee with a dear friend locally. My daughter invited me to a mother-daughter time at the nail salon – her treat – for Mother’s Day. The weekend would be for self-care.

Friday, a special surprise was in my mailbox.  Mary Ann had sent two books to inspire my writing.  One, *Blank Page to Bookshelf*, was written by her friend Mark McNease. I read the introductory pages of *The Joy of Writing Journal* by Lisa Tener and was – well you may have guessed – inspired! I was reminded that I have always wanted to create my own planner layout. So that project may be on the horizon. Who knows?

Saturday, I got up and started moving early.  I was just about to jump into the shower having eaten some breakfast, downed the morning supplements, and read my Bible chapters for the day, when I received a txt message from my beautiful, sweet granddaughter. She wanted to stop by on her way to work. I waited in my robe for her to arrive. She brought me a lovely nighty from my favorite lingerie store as a Mother’s Day gift. So unexpected!

Then, I met my friend Karen at a new coffee shoppe. It was spacious, light, and had the most delightful Yemini pastries. She selected a pistachio baklava, and I opted for a cinnamon chip muffin to go with our lattes. After we had visited for a couple of hours (yes, hours!) she pulled out a package. She had run across a lovely stained-glass dragonfly whose body was crafted from a silver spoon at the local art festival the previous weekend. It has found its way to a window in my office, allowing the light to shine through its amber wings.

As I was leaving the coffee shoppe I received a call from one of our local UPS stores.  A package I had sent to the wrong address had been returned! Unbelievable! So, I made my way to the store, updated the address, and sent the package on its way, once again. Of course I had to pay the shipping fee again, but for some odd reason, it was less expensive this time. Hmmm.

After working at my desk for a while, I took a call from my aunt and then my grandson called to say he was coming for a short visit. Such a delight! When he left I began readying the house for night and a potential thunderstorm. I was about to close the curtains in my office when I noticed my rose bush had suddenly bloomed! Just when you think people are horrible and life is harder than it should be, others find ways to brighten your days. It’s easy to become sad or lonely or unsure as you navigate your senior years. Yet if you allow yourself to be thrilled and amazed at life’s little pleasures, you will find happiness and maybe even joy!  Just the act of smiling, even when you feel like frowning, can lift your spirits. For the mothers who are reading – happy [belated] Mother’s Day!

Revisiting the Estate

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

I have always thought of an estate as a grand residence and wealth held by a person or family over time. When I bought my home soon after a divorce, I named it The Queendom – a woman’s home is her castle, you know. Other than the home I worked for years to pay off, along with the furniture, and other personal belongings, and the car, I do not have much. Interestingly however, what little I own is my estate.

Several months ago my 94-year-old aunt was angry at her daughter when my cousin suggested she needed to start downsizing. She needed to designate the things she would like to give to children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and other family. She had made no plans for her estate upon her passing. Admittedly, I was somewhat surprised. I guess she thought she would live forever.

My mother, gratefully, had all her documents in place. She had designated me as power of attorney, she had a will drawn up, and I held with her the title of her home and bank accounts. My sister was listed as beneficiary of a life insurance policy. She had an advanced directive. All these documents were in place when she had a stroke, and I had to move her in with me. Immediately, I was able to help her take care of health challenges and finances. She had given me a wonderful gift.

Attorney discussing legal documents with client in office

I granted my daughter power of attorney several years ago and signed an advanced directive while I was caring for my mother. But my attorney had suggested that since I have only one daughter, everything goes to her automatically (in my state), so I did not need to waste money on a will. For a while that sufficed. Yet as I navigate these seventies, I realized I want to make things easier for my daughter, and I want to leave something for my two grandchildren.

An estate attorney and I now have the ball rolling. The fee, which is quite reasonable, gives me a peace of mind that is well-worth the time and effort. Of course there is more to planning for a disabling medical condition or passing away. I have a small document that tells her my current financial status, where to find things, and who to contact and how to contact friends and family. All these instructions and legal documents are scanned to a flash drive and printed in a notebook for my family’s use.

The documents will need to be updated periodically, but having the baseline set is a purposeful message for the next generations. Hopefully, it will make an emotional time just a bit easier.

Just as “death cleaning” (which Mary Ann wrote about earlier in our blog life) is a gift to one’s children, so is estate planning. Laws and practices vary from state to state, so it is important to consult experts where you live. But be kind to those who may have to deal with things once you need help or when you are no longer with us. Take time to document your wishes. They will love you even more for it.

This Book Made Me Think of You

by Cynthia, posted in Reviews

It’s been a while since I read a book that I could not wait to read. This Book Made Me Think of You by Libby Page is one of those books.  If it were a movie – and I hope it becomes one – it would be in the “chic flick” genre.  It is a “feel good” book about love, loss, resilience, and adventure.

The book appears on several of the book list feeds I receive weekly. It sounded like something my sister might enjoy, so when perusing Square Books, a small, local book store during a visit in Oxford, Mississippi, I ran across this one, I suggested she try it.  I picked up a copy, also, as we live in different states. Frankly, I needed something easy-to-read that would be entertaining and positive.

The story tells about a woman who fell deeply in love with a man, only to learn a few months after their marriage that he was dying from cancer. Previously, she was a voracious reader and an energetic, creative woman. Throughout his treatments and after his passing, she became a shell of herself.  Then, on her birthday she received a seemingly random phone call from a local book shop keeper.

That call changed the trajectory of her life going forward. She embarked on adventures she never would have imagined taking. She met people who supported her along the way. She tried new things and stepped out of her comfort zone. I wondered as I read each section whether I would be brave enough to try some of the things she did.

At the beginning of each section, the “book seller” lists four books that are indicative of the section’s theme, so to speak.  Several of the books listed I have read and others I recognize as books I want to read. Those lists provided an added bonus, in my humble opinion.

In fact, my sister and I both exclaimed reading this book inspired us!  Without giving away too much, my sister has selected this book for her May book club. She is including an activity by purchasing a set of books (all different), wrapping each of them in brown paper and tying a colorful ribbon around the package. She will offer each of her book club members to select a package. What a fun and creative idea!

As for me, I am stepping outside of my comfort zone to visit a few places on my own. I will start with some museums that I haven’t seen for a while, perusing the collections without worrying how a companion might be enjoying the time spent.

This is one book I may read again, which I rarely do. The missive reminds us that grief has its place yet the living must continue not only to live but to thrive. Are you in need of a light-hearted book to take to the beach? Would you like just a little inspiration? This Book Made Me Think of You may be just the jolt you need to cheer you up and to give you a renewed outlook on life.

Gifts

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

What constitutes a gift? I guess I have never really thought about it.  I love giving people items I think they would enjoy. I enjoy doing things for others. Some would say my gifting is my Love Language. Lately, I have begun to rethink gifting.

My grands, nieces, and nephews, are all adults now in their twenties and thirties and some even older. Most of them have good jobs and are independent. They can purchase the things they want or need.  I find it challenging to select something they will want, appreciate, and use.  Anymore, when I ask them they reply “you don’t need to get me anything.”  While that is very sweet, they fail to understand that it makes me happy to give them something on their birthdays or other special occasions.

My granddaughter will turn 25 this month. I appreciate that she tells me what she would like – much of the time.  This year she told me – “money.”  She has recently moved out of her parents’ home, so money is tighter than before. She is learning that adulting is hard.  My sweet little girl no longer wants pink and frilly things. She wants to build up her savings account, so she won’t worry about having enough to pay her bills.  I appreciate her resolve.

Gucci credit cards, $100 bill stacks, gold coins, and Tiffany & Co. checks on white satin.

I have resorted to gift cards for non-gift-giving holidays. Target gift cards for St. Patrick’s Day, grocery store gift cards for Easter, gasoline gift cards for Independence Day, etc.  Basically, things that help with day-to-day expenses.

Money just doesn’t seem like a very good gift. I need to rethink my position on gift giving. As I recall, my maternal grandmother always sent me a check for $5 with a greeting card signed Maureen. In fact, it wasn’t until later years that she started signing cards Grandmother Maureen. I loved her dearly and held her in the highest regard, even though it was hard for her to be a grandmother. She was more of a mentor to me. We got along wonderfully (opposed to most of my cousins!). Thinking about the cards and the checks, I suppose I enjoyed getting money from my grandmother. Mostly I appreciated that she thought about me on my birthday.

I sent checks to my nieces for a while, but it seems they would not cash the checks. I found that odd since it is easy to deposit a check with one’s smart phone – I’ve done it for years, so I imagined the younger people have done it longer. Each year I would ask them if they got the check because I noted it had not cleared my account.  Now, they get Amazon e-gift cards. Interestingly, they apparently appreciate those more than cash. (We truly are becoming a cashless society, are we not?).

All-in-all, I suppose giving a gift rests more in intent than in substance. So I will go to the ATM, or write checks, or send e-gift cards. Easy for me; beneficial for the recipients.  After all, it is the thought that counts!