On most days I am driven to get things done. At least I was until recently. In the evening I make a list of things I want to accomplish the next day so that once I am up and dressed, I am ready to take on the world – the retirement world, that is!
But lately I just feel tired. I’m guilty of staying up too late at night, into the wee hours of the morning. Then, getting moving in the morning is more difficult. I drag through breakfast and morning chores. By the time I sit down to read, I am ready to take a little snooze. I’ve learned I can lie back in the little recliner in my office, close my eyes, and let my body relax. I may power nap for fifteen or twenty minutes but over the past few weeks those minutes have turned into an hour.
At first, I felt guilty for not completing the tasks before me. But a few days ago, I realized, “Isn’t this what retirement is all about?” After years of working twelve-hour days, have I not earned the right to rest when I want to? I have accepted, logically, that my day is mine. Except when I have agreed to meet a friend or attend a meeting, I am in charge of me. No one is checking to see if there are a few dishes in the sink or if the drawers are organized.
Overall, I am healthy. I eat fruits, vegetables, grains, and proteins. I exercise throughout the day. So why am I so tired? Oh. Now I remember. I am seventy-something and have no real obligations. Is part of lacking energy really a lack of motivation? If I am being honest with myself, my days are not as full as they once were.
Another factor this summer is the incredible heat dome that hovers over this part of the country. Temperatures over 100 degrees, bright sunny days, and heat indexes even higher keep this former sun goddess inside. I water the flowers at 9:00 pm when temperatures drop to 90 in the impending dark of night.
Reflecting on my days and nights with concern, I finally came to the realization that not getting a list of things done every day is okay. Friends tell me I do more in a day than they accomplish in a week. Not attacking a long list of unimportant tasks is, well, not important. I let go of the need to be busy every minute and now I can savor the time I sit and read …. And should I doze off for a bit, that is fine, too. Retirement is a time to slow down and enjoy life; not worry about checking off items from the task list.
Silver Sage Sisters 