I have always thought of an estate as a grand residence and wealth held by a person or family over time. When I bought my home soon after a divorce, I named it The Queendom – a woman’s home is her castle, you know. Other than the home I worked for years to pay off, along with the furniture, and other personal belongings, and the car, I do not have much. Interestingly however, what little I own is my estate.
Several months ago my 94-year-old aunt was angry at her daughter when my cousin suggested she needed to start downsizing. She needed to designate the things she would like to give to children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and other family. She had made no plans for her estate upon her passing. Admittedly, I was somewhat surprised. I guess she thought she would live forever.
My mother, gratefully, had all her documents in place. She had designated me as power of attorney, she had a will drawn up, and I held with her the title of her home and bank accounts. My sister was listed as beneficiary of a life insurance policy. She had an advanced directive. All these documents were in place when she had a stroke, and I had to move her in with me. Immediately, I was able to help her take care of health challenges and finances. She had given me a wonderful gift.
I granted my daughter power of attorney several years ago and signed an advanced directive while I was caring for my mother. But my attorney had suggested that since I have only one daughter, everything goes to her automatically (in my state), so I did not need to waste money on a will. For a while that sufficed. Yet as I navigate these seventies, I realized I want to make things easier for my daughter, and I want to leave something for my two grandchildren.
An estate attorney and I now have the ball rolling. The fee, which is quite reasonable, gives me a peace of mind that is well-worth the time and effort. Of course there is more to planning for a disabling medical condition or passing away. I have a small document that tells her my current financial status, where to find things, and who to contact and how to contact friends and family. All these instructions and legal documents are scanned to a flash drive and printed in a notebook for my family’s use.
The documents will need to be updated periodically, but having the baseline set is a purposeful message for the next generations. Hopefully, it will make an emotional time just a bit easier.
Just as “death cleaning” (which Mary Ann wrote about earlier in our blog life) is a gift to one’s children, so is estate planning. Laws and practices vary from state to state, so it is important to consult experts where you live. But be kind to those who may have to deal with things once you need help or when you are no longer with us. Take time to document your wishes. They will love you even more for it.
Silver Sage Sisters 