Tag: Friends and Family

Cynthia

A friend sent me the most delightful recipe.  It was an easy but elegant appetizer designed for the winter holiday season but could easily be offered all year around. I was struck by not only the fact that she would take the time to mail something to me, but that she was aware of my delight in cooking.

This gesture reminded me of my early-married days. People would start chain letters with various reasons to participate. One such chain was the Recipe Share. I received a recipe in the mail, along with the letter that encouraged me to send one of my favorite recipes to the top five people on the list. I was to add my name to the bottom of the list, and if memory serves me, to send the “new” letter to five or ten of my friends. The idea was that eventually I would receive hundreds of recipes from people I may or may not know. The idea was fun. Yet, I never received additional recipes.

Those days of sharing recipes, clipping coupons, and taking cookies to the park to share with children of other mothers who were needing adult companionship have long since gone. Women entered the workforce, eliminating the ability to have “friend time” during the day. Fewer people cooked at home. Children attended day care or joined after school programs. Email replaced letters and cards.

Yet, now in my retirement, I find I delight in receiving a recipe in the mail. And I have time to whip it up and share with a friend. After all these years, women still enjoy sharing their love through their recipes.

Cynthia

Several years ago I realized I spent most of my time working and did not have friends I could call upon in my “off” time. I had always heard, “to have friends, you have to be a friend.” As is customary, I took up the charge.

I made a list of women whom I had met at chamber of Commerce meetings, Rotary, and other such organizations and sent invitations to twenty women, asking if they would be willing to spend one evening a month with me and a group of others for one year. Ten responded.  I set a theme and a date and launched my goddess group.

The night before the first gathering I became nervous. Many of these women had beautiful homes, husbands, were visible in the community, and were involved in a lot of activities.  Was I an equal? Self-doubt kicked in. Yet, it was too late to back out.  The evening arrived. I welcomed the ladies with heavy hor d’oeuvres, wine, and a non-alcoholic option. We played a game I found at the Bullseye Boutique (Target) called Go Goddess! The game, as many others, encourages each player to answer questions, allowing the group to get to know one another. The night was a huge success!

Everyone gone, I was wound up and very excited, pleased that evening went so well. Beyond that I was extremely grateful that these women came and each said she looked forward to the next month.  I sat down and wrote each woman a personal note, indicating why I had invited her, what I admired about her, and thanking her for joining the group of girlfriends.

Fast forward several year. Last week I had coffee with one of those lovely ladies. Well into her seventies, she is still a practicing attorney.  She mentioned how delightful “the goddess group” was and suggested I pull together the group for a reunion. She said she never knew how much she needed female friends. She shared the note I had written was especially meaningful to her and she had carried it in her purse for years.

We simply never know the impact we make on others – both positive and negative. Yet one thing is certain. If we want to have friends, we must make the effort to be a friend.