New York, New York – Part 3

by sssmahh303, posted in Lifestyle

A Doggone City!

Mary Ann

One thing that you notice in New York City, it has gone to the dogs!  There are dogs everywhere. There is also dog do-do everywhere so watch where you step. You are supposed to curb your dog, but not everyone follows the rules.  However, it is not as bad as Paris. 

There are all kinds of dogs.  French Bulldogs are a favorite.  You are surprised with Burmese Mountain Dogs – apparently, they are excellent apartment dogs.  Just about every kind of dog you can imagine live in NYC. When you see an Irish Setter trotting down the street, you wonder how a hunting dog finds space to run. There are lots of rescues with suspect lineage. Then there are the Designer Dogs – a deliberate cross breeding of two pedigrees dogs to create a new breed.  Maltipoos, Labradoodles, Cockapoos, Pomskys, and on and on are the “new” breeds.  All are quite cute.  There are pet shops that specialize in Designer Dogs.  

On the streets of NYC, there are bowls of water in front of restaurants for furry customers. There are specialty services for dogs that include Doggie Day Care, Doggie Gyms, Pet Sitters, Shuttle Service, Groomers with salons that rivel human salons, and vets with clinics and mobile units.  Dog walkers are walking dogs all over the city with solo clients and groups of 3 or more.  The dogs all seem to get along well – it is kind of a pack mentality.  Some dogs are on a walk in a stroller.  I guess getting some fresh air.   Dog parks dot the city scape where dog people gather and friendships bloom.

We had a school dog that on Mondays had play dates in Central Park with his other dog friends.  The dog loved it, and I am sure he knew when it was Monday.  The rest of the week the dog loved being everyone’s pet at school.  Many of the little boutiques in the city have a dog that minds the shop.  It adds charm to the shopping experience.  Dogs are everyshere.

There were all kinds of Doggie Shops with normal pet shop items; however, they had a large selection of outfits accessorized with sparkly jewels.  All kinds of “shoes” were available which is not a bad idea on city sidewalks – hot cement in the summer and salt on dog pads in the winter.  It can prevent issues for the dogs.  There are colorful canine raincoats and boots that deck gray rainy city sidewalks.   There are several dog bakeries with custom dog biscuits among many other doggie treats.  (The picture below is of two Italian Greyhounds dressed in matching PJs on a cold Winter’s day. Just too cute!)

The dog subculture is everywhere now.  It is just more noticeable in New York because the population is so dense with people and dogs.  New York is also innovative with new dog services and the like.  It is fun to people watch in the city, but dog watching is more fun! You might just get a slobbery kiss while you watch.  New York City is an interesting place, but it is truly a doggone city!

Neighborhood

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

I have lived on a corner lot for over 27 years. Admittedly, I do not know my neighbors. Until I retired I generally left the house by 7:00 am and arrived home some time after 8:00 pm – often later.

The front of my house is somewhat obscured from the street as it sports two large berms, separated by a sidewalk that comprises steps up and then down before emptying onto my front porch.  In the back I have a 750 sq ft deck below which is my back yard – if you can call it that. From the retaining wall under the deck to the stockade fence separating that neighbor’s home is only 20-30 ft. including a dry brook and an 89 ft long garden. On the north side of the house is what one would call the back yard as it is the largest area that is flat where children might play. On the garage side of the house which faces the side street is a yard peppered with trees that are much older than my home. All of this is to say – I don’t have ready access to visit with the people to whom I live the nearest.

Lately, however, I have been walking the neighborhood. I have my paths figured out which allow me to walk a little more than a mile in one pass. Occasionally I will wave at a drive passing by but seldom do I see other people.

Today I was later getting out. By the time I rounded the cul-de-sac and started the home loop, I observed a line of vehicles along the street where I had planned to walk.  Checking my watch I realized it was time for the little people to emerge from their school day.  A shaded sidewalk connects our neighborhood to the edge of an elementary school ground. Daily, parents walk or drive to meet their children.  It was as if a sleeping giant had come to life, with cars, SUVs, trucks, and even walkers converged on this one area of our neighborhood.

How nice it was to wave and to say hello to passersby – as I passed by.  I was struck by the number of fathers as well as mothers who took the time to greet their children on this lovely autumn afternoon.

Back at home and pulling a few weeds along the sidewalk in front of the berms, one new neighbor commented that he and his children were enjoying my yard decorations from skeletons in October to pumpkins and leaf structures this month.  Soon nutcrackers will adorn the yard for this year’s Tinsel Tribe theme.  But that is for another story.

Today, it is satisfying to see men and women and children as they go about their days. My heart is joyful and grateful for the ability to live in a safe and friendly neighborhood. I wish everyone could have similar experiences.

Rereads

by sssmahh303, posted in Wellness

Mary Ann

There are so many books to read.  I read a lot, yet I never seem to be caught up.  There is always another new book on the horizon.  So why would anyone reread a book from their past.  However, many of those old book friends still call us. 

There were several books over the years that have beckon me to visit them again.  Some of them were read when I was in high school, and somehow, we were expected at 16 years old to have a deep range of life experiences to relate to them.  I don’t think so.

I reread a few books when I was teaching those novels to students.  I can remember reading The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings and crying at the end of the story when Jody was no longer interested in playing with the water wheel he had

built at the beginning of the story.  He was no longer a boy.  I was reading it to my 4thgrade class of girls.  They probably thought I was nuts.  I read Animal Farm by George Orwell in a reading class that I was teaching.  It was fun watching young minds trying figure out if it was about communism or whatever. I think I will reread it again with the state of the world.  It is probably coming true on many levels. 

I decided to reread The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne.  At 16 what did I know of love, of adultery.  Hawthorn writes such beautiful prose, and a tear or two fell down my cheek about Hester’s plight.  When in 11th Grade, I was just trying to get through the assignments not really relating.  With a little life under my belt, I could empathize with Hester’s life. You understood her emotions.  I am so glad I carved out time for this reread.

Then I reread To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.  I loved it and it was so clear with a second reading what a good man Atticus was – doing the right thing despite his personal feelings.  You learn universal lessons.  Plus, it was a hoot reading Scout’s impressions of school.  I remember that I read them to my faculty for a different point of view of education.  

Another favorite from my youth was The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger.  As a teenager, I thought Holden had nailed life as he navigated coming of age.  However, on the second read as an adult, I thought he was just a whiny kid – so disappointing for me.  I think that is why I didn’t like The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt– whiny teenagers.

 

There are few more books that I will give another whirl through the pages. I always reread Anne Lamott’s book.  I find some little nugget of wisdom in each of the essays – always worth a reread.  I am currently reading The Count of Monte Christo by Alexandre Dumas that gave me the idea for the Reread Blog. I loved that book!  I am so glad that it is 1500 plus pages. I don’t want it to end, and yet, I know the ending. It is so well-written with rich vocabulary.  Remember the SAT practice list?  It is that kind of rich vocabulary. 

I am debating rereading Moby Dick by Herman Melville, but I think it is truly my white whale.  I am sure you have some books that you might want to reread.  Some will probably be duds, others true gems.  Visit your old friends – they will welcome you back! 

Burial Plot

by sssmahh303, posted in Taking Care of Business

Mary Ann

I have been working on an estate notebook for my family to help with my affairs once I leave the planet.  It is done for the most part but needs some final polishing.  It feels good to take charge of something that is rather uncontrollable.  It is a bittersweet experience!  I plan to share various aspects of the estate notebook in forthcoming blogs.

In preparation for the burial section, I explored plots, headstones, and actual burial plans.  I always planned to be cremated and even considered a green burial. However, where I would be buried was the first step in this process. 

Around the corner from my house is a Quaker cemetery.  It is surrounded by hedgerows of trees and bushes and just a stone’s throw from the Quaker Meeting House.  I pass by it several times a week.  It has been calling to me for the last few years.  I have been a bit of a gypsy living in many parts of the country never quite finding a permanent home until I retired in PA near my brother.  I feel at home now, so this is a good place for my final resting place.  

The Quaker cemetery is in the country and is a rather humble graveyard.  I felt that it would be a good place to be buried.  I would be surrounded by peaceful people, many of whom are Quakers.  The beautiful location in the country welcomes wild animals and random wildflowers grow throughout.   I would like deer or foxes walking across my grave and birds fluttering above me.  

I finally stopped while I drove by one day to find the contact information.  I called to set up an appointment to view the grounds. I later met an older gentleman who explained how it worked in a Quaker cemetery.  You buy a cremation plot (there are regular plots available for caskets) where two individuals can be buried. You don’t own a particular spot just the next available plot when you pass.   For regular burials, the headstones are only 18 inches high, and for cremations headstones are flat on the ground and only your name, birth and death dates are inscribed.  Everything is simple.  You can bring flowers, but you can’t plant them.  I was fine with all of this.  

I sent in the fee, which was very reasonable, another surprise, and was given a certificate that is in the estate notebook.  I was given information about the headstone.  This company knew exactly what the Quaker cemetery required of the stone.  Again, it was a reasonable fee for it, and I was given a rendering of headstone to approve the spelling, etc.  With my luck with my name, I wanted to make sure it was exactly as I wanted.  The company will work with the cemetery and set the headstone for another small fee.  

So, the first few steps are now in place for my final resting place.  Stay tuned for my adventure to the crematory.  A new company has just opened a satellite office right down the road from me.  

Theo of Golden

by sssmahh303, posted in Reviews

Mary Ann

I have several good friends that send book recommendations to me.  I share recommendations with them as well.  By far these are the very best books.  In recent weeks I have had those people contact me about Theo of Golden by Allen Levi.  A new friend recommended it saying it was one of her favorite books and had reread it a few times already – that is quite a book!

Since I have been exploring Winter, Theo of Golden came at the right time.  It is a story of Winter and a great example of how to live it.  When the story begins, an elderly gentleman, Theo, comes to fictional Golden, Georgia to live for a year or so.  He had business to do in the town.  While he was getting coffee, he found a wall of pencil sketches of the town’s people.  He becomes enchanted by the renderings and befriends the artist.  Theo decides to purchase them and gift them to the featured individual.  The story unfolds from there.  

Each of the people had a story, and for most, they were willing to share them with Theo.  The wisdom he earned from living many years helped to forge many new friendships.  This quiet, gentle man was becoming a part of the community and making a difference in the lives of the people of Golden. 

The story weaves many loose threads into a tapestry of the town ‘s and Theo’s life.  The threads may seem unconnected but eventually it all comes together in the end.  As the reader, you can explore Winter as Theo lives it.  You witness his kindness and generosity that change people’s lives.  

Theo of Golden is Allen Levi’s first book.  He self-published.  The author is a gift writer, and I hope he will continue writing and sharing his gifts with the world.  He has such insight into the human condition showing all of us how small acts of kindness can make a difference in the world.  What an example!

I always hope for a movie or an episodic TV series to follow a great book so I can see the words come to life on the big or small screen.  At this moment, there are no plans for this to happen.  Come on Hollywood – Reese, Apple, Netflix – this is too good of a story not to tell.   The word is quickly spreading about this little gem.  The story needs a visual platform to share its message – a message that the world needs now more than ever.

What’s In a Name?

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

“Hello. My name is [insert your name]”. This is the beginning of a conversation with a someone we are meeting for the first time. Or, when we make a phone call we say, “this is [insert your name]. I am calling to inquired about xyz”. And what do we say when we see a baby for the first time? You’ve got it! “Oh what a sweet little one. What is her/his name?” Our names identify us as unique. They give us a place in society. Some believe that a name defines a person. But I will leave that for another conversation.

My family tends to assign names to inanimate objects, especially those with which we interact often. As with many people, all of my family members assign names to their cars. My grandson’s Mustang is Natasha. My sister’s Lexus is Pearl. My new SUV is Avandra – she is so named as Avandra is the goddess of Freedom, Adventure, and Travel – so the name is fitting, of course. (Avandra and I recently completed her first road trip. We shared 2,997 miles together on this little jaunt.)

The deck on the back of my house is the Urban Oasis. Mary Ann’s backyard is Little Provence. We often text or email each other and mention we spent time in these spaces. The women in my family have an annual get-together early in December. We call ourselves the Tinsel Tribe.

When mom was taking physical therapy after the third hospital stay within a year’s time, she was learning to use her walker. She commented that she was working very hard on her PT as she wanted to walk without the aid of the walker. Her physical therapist told her “I am sorry to be the one to break the news to you, but you are going to be married to that thing for the rest of your life.”  We laughed.

I told mom, if she was going to be married to the walker, she had better give him a name. From that point forward, it became George. Then she named her transport wheelchair Rosella. The names became so commonplace that the hospice nurses and aides and the entire family just talked about George and Rosella as if they were additional people. Lily, the aide who bathed mom would say, “Get George. It’s time to take a shower.” My cousin pondered, “where is Rosella? Let’s take your mom out to the Urban Oasis.” And so it went.

To be honest, I have to take a breath occasionally when I realize other people don’t name their inanimate props the way we do. It seems impersonal. On the other hand, I guess we seem a little crazy.  But think about it.  Isn’t it just as meaningful to say, “have you seen Alex?” as it is to say “I can’t find my phone?”

The Big Bad Wolf

by sssmahh303, posted in Friends and Family

Mary Ann

At this spooky time of year with Halloween just around the corner, I was trying to find a family Halloween tale.  Of course, we have a Timmy story where I was the victim, and it scared me to death.

When I was young, I feared wolves.  I guess it was one too many fairytales. You know, Little Red Riding Hood kind of genre.  Timmy knew this and took every opportunity to scare me about them.  So, one Halloween Timmy took my mother’s wig and fur coat.  We had a rubber wolf mask that may be the root of my fears, so Timmy included the mask as part of his makeshift wolf costume.  He dressed up and hid under my bed. 

Night came.  I innocently went to my bedroom and crawled under the covers turning off the light as I snuggled in. The room was dark and out from under the bed came this creature, all brown, all hairy, and loudly growling!  There was a wolf in my bedroom, and it looked like it was going to eat me for its dinner.  I was shaking and screaming.  Nightmares were coming true!  And then the giggles began.  It wasn’t a wolf.  It was Timmy!   

Our parents came running and they too had to laugh at the costume – it was clever!  It is now funny, but that night I was terrified.  I was reassured that there were no wolves under my bed.  I can’t remember if Timmy got in trouble, but he was in trouble all the time anyway.  Timmy does not remember this incident at all.  I, however, have never forgotten that the big, bad wolf was under my bed.  For a long time, I hesitated as I walked into a dark room, and I always looked under my bed before going to sleep. I sort of still do….

Winter

by sssmahh303, posted in Wellness

Mary Ann

If you divide your life up into seasons, you are in the winter of your life after the age of 70.  Each season has its bearuty and its own challenges.  Who wants to go through puberty again or menopause?  Once is enough!  However, if you live long enough, you will pass through all the seasons and will arrive in Winter where you will have lived more years than you will live in the future. It is a rather jarring fact.  

Erik Erikson developed a psychosocial theory in the late 20th century that identified eight stages that a healthy individual passes through from infancy to late adulthood (65 years until death).  In each stage there are two conflcting traits that can be developed such as trust vs. mistrust in infancy or generativity vs. stagnation in middle age.  Living through the conflict is what helps individual develop competency, and a virtue is gained from the experience. 

When you are in the Winter of your life, you are in the final stage of integrity vs. despair.  It is a time when individual reflect on their lives with a sense of acceptance and fulfillment or face feelings of regret and despair.   During this reflective time of life, older individuals gain wisdom as the ultimate virtue of their lifetime.  Just Goggle Erikson to learn more about theses developmental stages.

I must say that this ending stage of life has been a real challenge for me.  When I look back on my life, I am satisfied for the most part about my contributions to the world.  I have helped lots of children, parents, and teachers over my 40 years in education.  I raised two children mostly by myself who are kind and good people for the world.   I used my creativity to make beauty in world. I have tried to be kind to everyone I encountered.  I have peace with all of this. 

What has caused me regret and despair has been actual retirement.  When I retired, I faced several big life challenges all in a matter of months.  I retired, I moved, my beloved Father died, and then Covid hit.  During Covid, I develop a drop foot which gave me mobility problems, and basically, I couldn’t seek medical help until after the pandemic. 

My plans for retirement were halted and had to be changed.  I wasn’t going to be able to travel or join a hiking club or take tap dancing lessons, and pickleball looked like a lot of fun. I was and have been in despair regarding all of this.  I think God was teaching me a lesson with my hubris about how my retirement would look. 

In an earlier blog, I shared with you the lessons learned from the nonfiction book club that my friend, Lisa and I have participated in for the last 5 years.  The basic premise for most of the books is accept and adapt.  I think I have been dealing with acceptance going through the various stages of grief and loss and not putting as much emphasis on adapt.  I knew this in my head, but not in my heart.  I needed time to grieve my loss. I am now trying to work hard on adapting and making the necessary adjustments to give me a life that I want.

After the age of 70, medical challenges begin to appear.  You must deal with them; you have no choice.  I have done a lot of physical therapy and acupuncture.  It is not curing me, but it is keeping me going.  I try new treatments.  For the most part, I must exercise in some way every day.  

Lisa and I are currently reading an excellent book about the second half of life called Joyspan, The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half by Kerry Burnight that address many issues of elderhood.  Burnight is trained in geriatrics.  Her key points are to grow, adapt, connect, and give.  Adapting was my weakest point, Burnight gives great suggestions how to work through the various tenants.  Little questionnaires help you pinpoint where you might need to focus your attention.  My attention is on how to adapt my life to be able to live life like I wanted.  Maybe not as I have imagined but still a possibility.  I needed to take a leap of faith.  It is a change in attitude which I control.  I still get discouraged, but I recover much quicker, and then I problem solve how I might meet the challenge.  I need to plan more.  I need to ask for help when I need it.  Secretly, I still hope for a miracle, but I am learning to appreciate what I can do and not regret what I can’t.  

I am right in the middle of Winter.  I love the crisp, clean smell of falling snow so I am trying to enjoy the beauty of this season of life.  It is a slowing down of time.  I am putting energy into me that I was not able to in other seasons. That is a good thing.  I would not have been able to go to doctor’s appointments and treatments in other seasons, so I guess it is good we get these challenges when we age.  Being in winter is getting me ready for the final goodbye, and I am hoping it will be a transition into another spring, an eternal spring with adventures yet to begin. 

You Ought to be in Pictures

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

Remember when we put pictures in albums?  We would secure the photo using glue or tape thinking they would remain in perpetuity.  Over the years photo albums have changed. At first there were black pages and white “corners”.  Then albums advanced. (Or did they?) Some had self-adhesive pages. Others had a cellophane-type covering for each page. Still others had “pockets” into which pictures could be placed. Each of the options allowed us to view the pages, providing solace in knowing the pictures were preserved.

Fast forward to today. Most photographs are taken with digital cameras, stored in “the cloud” and rarely retrieved for viewing. Instead of having 20 pictures from a roll of film, we now have thousands … dare I say millions of pictures stored.

I discovered Amazon Photos. Well, actually, my son-in-law told me about it. As a Prime member I can upload unlimited numbers of photographs. In fact, within seconds of taking a picture with my mobile phone, the image is uploaded automatically.  The really cool thing about it is I can identify people in the pictures and Amazon is able to catalog them with facial recognition. Recently, I was looking for a picture of my mother. I clicked on her name and up popped 2.7K worth of pictures of her. It’s not perfect – mom’s twin shows up in a lot of those pictures. Granted, they do look uncannily alike. But I digress.

What does one do with the photo albums? They take up so much space. The pages yellow, or worse tear from becoming brittle. Plus the albums are of differing sizes and shapes making storage even more difficult.  Not to mention the full shelf of picture albums and boxes on the top shelf of my office closet, I have four shelves of albums! Many of those were my mother’s.  What to do?

During the time mom lived with me, we slowly began to review the pictures. So many pictures included people I had no clue who they were. In several instances, mom could not remember who the people were or why she had the picture. Needless to say, those were trashed.   Now that she is gone, the task is left to me to figure out what to retain. A sentimental and taxing task.

I began the chore of scanning the pictures. This is a slow process, especially considering that my scanner is an all-in-one printer and thus scans 8.5” x 11” regardless of the size of photo. So after scanning there is a lot of cropping. Again, it’s a process. But there is an endpoint.

Shutterfly is a fantastic way to recreate picture albums that take less room. It is so much easier to turn a printed page than it is to wade through photo albums in which the pages or the pictures have stuck together. Additionally, the Shutterflys can all be a uniform size, ultimately storing thousands of pictures neatly while still being accessible for others to view.

I am creating theme-based Shutterfly albums. Recently, for instance, I made one from the scrapbook of my mother’s 70th birthday party. It was fun reminiscing of that time 26 years ago when friends and family gathered. At times I wonder if all this work is worth the effort. Then someone looks at the album and conversations ensue with “remember the time when ….”

The most special aspect of this exercise is reliving and preserving precious memories for oneself and those who follow us. Plan ahead and be certain you are not only behind the camera (phone) taking pictures, but that you are also *in* some of the pictures.

Amy Tan’s The Backyard Bird Chronicles

by sssmahh303, posted in Reviews

Mary Ann

You probably know Amy Tan from her international best seller, The Joy Luck Club, and other novels such as The Bonesetter’s Daughter.  She is a talented and engaging storyteller introducing the country and world to her Chinese heritage through vivid tales with universal themes that can be identified by everyone. 

So, it has been interesting to see her writing a book about birds, just birds!  The Backyard Bird Chronicles is her personal journey into nature journaling documenting avian activity in her own backyard, and you discovered this gifted writer is an extraordinary artist as well.   The chronicles begins on September 16, 2017, until December 15, 2022, during much of the Covid Pandemic.  Many people during the Covid shutdown became birders – the birds were freer to move around than we were.  

Tan did her nature journal training with John Muir Laws who is kind of the guru of this art form.  Natural journaling is at a crossroads where the sciences and the arts come together.  You sketch what you observe and document the behaviors you see among the animals or whatever.  The chronicles follow her five years of observations and her comments about what she saw.  She was leaning about the birds she encountered – what they ate, their nests, their bird songs, their eggs, and myriads of other details.   Her sketching is charming, and her writing clearly capture the nature of the birds.  However, the cherry on top of this book are the bird portraits that she does.  Tan draws feather as if they could flutter off the pages.  The artwork is a gift to the eye. 

I love nature journaling and teach classes in it for children and adults.  I have been doing it for over 20 years.  If you love animals and nature, this is a wonderful hobby to adopt.  It is peaceful and nurturing to your soul.  I have seen very active children calm down and become engrossed in nature and sketching while getting lost in time.  Just reading The Backyard Bird Chronicles may spur you on to try it and will incent you to enjoy some quiet time with nature, and you can do it right in your own backyard.  All you need is a blank tablet or book, a pencil, and colored pencils.  No one is going to judge your artwork.  You could draw stick figures – it is more the process than the product.  

There are online free tutorials presented by John Muir Laws (JohnMuirLaws.com) that instruct nature journaling fundamentals.  At the end of The Backyard Bird Chronicles, Tan list bird resource books that can introduce you to our feathered friends. 

I love hummingbirds, and Tan taught me a few things about them that I did not know.  One of these days I will try a hand feeder.  The hummers need to trust me more, yet when you hear the thrum of their wings near your ear, you can have your own trust issues.  They do have little swords for beaks!

The Backyard Bird Chronicles is a joyful read and Tan’s artwork is just lovely adding so much to the text.  It is almost as if you were right there with Tan and seeing the birds as she does.  As I look back on the book, I am still astonished that she spent thousands of dollars on meal worms.  The birds were her babies, and they ate well.  I hope she will follow up with another chronicle again sharing her gift of words and her artistic talents! One unknown author has said, “The greatest gift of birds is their ability to bring a sense of wonder and joy into our lives.”  Amy Tan discovered this.  I hope you will as well.