I Am Old but Not Dead

The Court of Thorns and Roses

Mary Ann 

At the end of each year, the powers that be make lists of the best – Movies, TV Shows, Books, and the like.  I always take screen shots or make list of the books that I would like to read. I am either going to make another pile of yet-to-read books or add them to my Kindle.

 At the end of 2023, a book kept appearing on various lists, The Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas.  The synopsis always proclaimed it was about a fantasyland where humans and magical, immortal fairies live. It was filled with romance and adventure.  So as the winter of 2024 was approaching, I thought this was a good time to escape.  I loaded up the Kindle and began to read the first story in the series.  I was enchanted, reading all 5 books that took me many, many hours and thousands of pages to finish.  

The story takes place on the island continent of Prythian where seven kingdoms are ruled by High Fae Lords. The rulers have exceptional magical powers such as transformation from human to animal or winnowing that is like “Beam me up, Scottie “from Star Trek, or flying. The 5 volumes center around three human sisters Feyre, Elain, and Nesta Archeron and a cast of gorgeous, hunky fairies – Rhysand, Cassian, Tamlin, Azriel, and Lucien.  The women are all beautiful, brave, and powerful – no shrinking violets here.  The men are unearthly handsome and mighty warriors. If you combined Lord of the Rings and Bridgerton, you would have The Court of Thorns and Roses – lots of battles, monsters, male and female heroes, and lots of descriptive, lusty, lovemaking.  

If I were reading any of the books in the series, and I were riding the NYC subways, I would have missed my stop repeatedly.  The stories are so absorbing and so passionate that I was blushing in my living room as I read along.  There is passion in every part of the stories, so it was appropriate that lovemaking would be too.   This is why I entitled this blog – I am old but not dead!  It got my attention!

I am so happy to have found Sarah J. Maas’s books.  She is a masterful storyteller and has help to create the literary genre, Romantasy – a little bit of romance and a little bit of fantasy.  Maas describes people and places in incredible detail so you can envision her imaginary world.  She has a bit of Harry Potter in her with creative and clever ideas such as Memory Bottles or mental communication.  She engages the reader from the first page to the very last word on the last page.  Even though it takes a fair of amount of time to read a series, you miss the characters when you finish. Luckily, she has several other series to discover, and a sixth volume forThe Court of Thorns and Roses is on the horizon.  There were questions at the end of book 5 that needed answers, and they are on the way! Thank you, Sarah J. Maas, for sharing your remarkable talent with us.  

Notes:

There were a few things that I did notice that really do not affect the stories in any way but are noticeable. I read the books one after another rather than waiting a year between them so that may be why I did notice.  My friends who have read the stories a year or so apart did not notice

First, the names and places are exotic, and you don’t know how to pronounce them.  How exactly do you pronounce Amarntha or the Prythian?  Is the C a hard or soft C?  Where is the accent?   I give it a shot when I first meet the character and keep calling them whatever I come up with for them.  

Second, for fairies who can heal a broken bone in a few hours, they all have calloused hands.  I know it is because they are welding swords and such, but you would think their hands would heal quickly and be smooth to the touch.  

Third, anytime anyone gets upset, they throw up. Really, this is the go-to!  It got a little funny as I read it each time.  I would have thought some editor would have noticed.  

None of this takes away from the engaging stories.  Enjoy!

Sunflowers

Rarely does a novel engage me from page one, but such was the case when I picked up The Secret Life of Sunflowers by Marta Molnar.  The story parallels the lives of two strong, determined women who seem at first glance to be somewhat reserved.

Johanna Bonger was in love, she thought, with a man who would never be true to her. She was also courted by her brother’s friend Theo Van Gogh. She attempted to deny him her affection by saying “You will grow tired of me,” to which Theo responded: “Sunflowers will tire of the sun before I tire of you, Johanna Bonger.” That encounter turned her heart. Eventually, she married Theo, who was completely and totally dedicated to her, and also to his brother, Vincent.

Skipping to current times, Emsley Wilson enters the scene. She adores her flamboyant grandmother who passes away before Emsley is ready. During this time Emsley was facing the challenge of what to do about her struggling auction business. A friend of her grandmother Violet, gave Emsley sunflower earrings, indicating Violet had ordered them for her.  Emsley recalled her grandmother’s words: “Sunflowers are adaptable. You plant them somewhere, and they’ll figure out how to grow. They’ll come up in the rich loam of rivers as easily as in arid, poor dirt. The worse the soil, the bigger they flower. They’re scrappy as hell.

The chapters alternate between Emsley’s life in current times, and Johanna’s life in the 1800s. Throughout the story, both women are determined to achieve their objectives. Theo quoted Vincent: “If you hear a voice within say you cannot do something, then by all means do that thing, and that voice will be silenced.” Vincent’s words become the underlying theme for both women.

Molnar’s novel is an engaging story from start to finish. Yet something even more important is revealed. At least it was for me. I had no idea that Vincent Van Gogh’s sister-in-law worked intensely to promote him and his work, after his death. Without Johanna, the world may never have known about The Starry Night, The Vase with Fifteen Sunflowers, or any one of the more than 2000 pieces of art by one of the most famous and influential figures in post-impressionist Western art.

The Secret Life of Sunflowers is a must read for those who enjoy historical fiction or for those who appreciate tenacity and resolve in a woman’s journey. Or, if you just want to enjoy a lovely story.

The Little Silver Bell

Mary Ann

My mother loved jewelry.  Anything shiny and sparkly, and it was a special treat when I got to explore her jewelry box.  I would try on the rings and bracelets pretending I was a princess.  However, there was a little silver bell that nestled in one of the compartments on the top tray of the jewelry box.   I was fascinated by that bell.  It had a little goat on one side and some words that I didn’t know, and when you jiggled the bell, it had the sweetest sound like fairies laughing.  

I coveted that bell and would beg my mother for it throughout the years, and she would always say it is not time.  I am sure she knew if she gave it to me when I was too young, I would lose it.  She was much wiser than I.  Years passed and sometime in my 40s she gave me the bell.  I guess it was time.  It was also when I found out the meaning of the bell.

My father had gotten the bell on the Isle of Capri when he was on R and R during WWII.  The little silver bells were made by the monks of St. Michelle and represented good fortune and protection.  Pilots like my father and paratroopers bought them and often pinned them inside their uniforms.  Most of the bells had four leaf clovers (one leaf is for fame, one for wealth, one for a faithful lover, and the fourth for health) or other good luck symbols.  My father’s had a goat on it.  I am sure he picked it because he loved animals and was from a farm family.  Under the goat is the word Capri and on the back is the inscription La Campanella Della Fortuna which means bell of good luck.  

The legend behind the bells is the story of a young, poor shepherd boy who lost his only sheep and followed the sound of a bell to find it. Saint Michael then appeared to the boy at the edge of a cliff saving him from falling, and Saint Michael gave the bell to him for protection. The bells today are a symbol of Capri bringing joy and good fortune, a little bit of heaven, to whoever wears them.  They can also stand for peace.  At the end of World War II, Capris gave a replica of the bells to President Roosevelt, and it exhibited at the Roosevelt Presidential Library and Museum in New York.

After I was given the bell, I put it on a chain and wore it often.  It always made my father happy when I did.  He always commented on it.  If I wore it around my grandchildren or my students at school, they would always ask me to bend down so they could ring the bell.  They could hear the fairies laughing.  

When my father passed, I began to wear the bell all the time.  It keeps me close to him.  It brings me peace, joy, and a bit of luck just as St. Michael had wanted. It kept my father safe during WWII.  It is my most valuable piece of jewelry, truly priceless.  And I am thankful that my mother made me wait until it was time for me to appreciate its meaning.  

Will You See Your Shadow?!

February is quickly approaching … and you know what means! Several opportunities to celebrate during the cold winter month. Once such celebration is Groundhog Day!

This year, Punxsutawney Phil will emerge from hibernation on Sunday, February 2, at 7:20 am. According to legend, if the furry marmot sees his shadow on a sunny day, he will retreat, meaning six more weeks of winter. If on the other hand he does not see his shadow, spring is just around the corner.  On a cloudy day, he takes it as a sign of spring and stays above ground. It’s always been a bit counterintuitive to me … sunny day – more winter. Hmmm.  If I were Phil, I would stay in my cozy burrow with my partner Phyllis and my two young kits Shadow and Sunny.

 “Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators, and Weather-Prophet Extraordinary” is the most famous groundhog according to the Farmer’s Almanac.  The first recorded Groundhog Day celebration was in 1886 in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, making it the oldest of such celebrations. Likely, due to the 1993 movie Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray and Andie McDowell, the day has been elevated to pop culture status. Now, several Groundhog Day celebrations are held throughout the United States and Canada.

Digging into historical traditions, some say Groundhog Day has morphed from the pagan holiday Imbolc and the Feast of Candlemas. A Scottish prophecy indicated that a sunny day on Candlemas meant a long winter.

For me, I was always looking for ways to entertain my mom for whom I was caring.  She began to look forward to Groundhog Day, as one of many “holidays” we celebrated. Arriving just prior to Valentine’s Day, Groundhog Day was a one-day event, so it was low-key. Still, we had fun.  I found a recipe for Groundhog cupcakes which became an annual tradition. They were fun to make, yummy to eat, and for mom, she had bragging rights – something unique she could tell her sisters.

I even ordered mugs, t-shirts, and chocolates from the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club Store. Admittedly, I get a little crazy at times. But hey. We were making memories.

If you are looking for a way to brighten your winter and fight the doldrums, tune in to the Groundhog Day celebration, live streamed for those of us who can’t or don’t want to be in the cold morning air at Gobbler’s Knob. 

Tolerations

One of the most efficient “tools” I learned while making my way through coaching school was the act of dealing with Tolerations.  Admit it. There are some things that we just “put up with.” Most of the time those things are minute – they would not take much effort if we would just take the time to deal with them. Yet, we prefer to let them sit while we do other things that are more interesting, more enjoyable, or that we consider more pressing.

The challenge with Tolerations is that the longer we ignore them, the worse they become. Mary Ann once gave me a magnet that simply states “A year from now, what will you wish you had done today?”  While the probable thought behind this statement is goal setting, I interpret it as dealing with the little things, too.

Tolerations can be anything that sits in the back of your mind. It may be a stack of papers on your desk, a letter that needs to be written, a closet that needs to have clothes weeded out, a plant with dying leaves, a picture waiting to be hung, a phone call yet to be made, a spot on the carpet, a ….

You get the idea.

Take a moment to think about a few things that silently urge you to attend to them. You know you have some! What are they?  And how do you move forward? Let me share a few of my strategies.

Make a game of it. Do you remember the 1950s television show “Beat the Clock?” Contestants were challenged to complete a task within a specified time frame to win prizes. The show actually began as a radio show in 1948 and was called Time’s A-Wastin’.  Isn’t that what we are doing by procrastinating? Estimate the amount of time it will take to complete the task at hand; figure out some kind of reward for yourself if you complete the task within your given time; and begin. You may find challenging yourself to compete with the clock is a fun way to deal with your Toleration.

Solicit help. Sometimes it is more fun to work alongside a friend or family member. Talk to someone about what you need to accomplish. Ask the person if s/he has a task that s/he is putting off. Agree to help each other complete the respective tasks. In this way you are somewhat holding each other accountable while enjoying each other’s company AND completing your tasks.

List it. Personally, I am a list maker. Yep!  Sometimes I enjoy checking things off my list so much, that I will add the task to my list if it doesn’t appear there, just so I can check it off! Crazy, I know. But often when I tell people I do this, they nod and admit they do it too! Check.

Deadlines – real or created. Nothing is more motivating for me to deal with things around the house than when I am hosting a dinner or event. Sometimes things must be completed before a certain date (taxes, for instance. Ugh). At other times you may just give yourself a deadline – get the car serviced before winter kicks in; or vacuum the baseboards before the pest control people come to spray.

Given these suggestions, you may have other strategies for motivating yourself to deal with those things that are eating at you. Regardless of the method you use, I would bet completing those tasks and eliminating your tolerations will give you a feeling of accomplishment and relief. Now, I have to go deal with a few things …

Birds, Wolves, and Seeds, Oh My!

Mary Ann

When I bought the book Migration, I thought it was a book about the migration of the Arctic Terns, a nature book.  I like nature books, so I thought it would be right up my alley.  Well, about three pages into the book, I realized this was a fictional story about Arctic Terns and as it turns out, it was just the best mistake! 

Migration by Charlotte McConaghy is an international best-selling book about a young, flawed, and complicated woman named Franny Stone, who follows the migration of the Arctic Tern. It is the longest migration on earth from the Arctic to Antarctica and then back. This may be the last migration on the planet. The Earth is in terrible shape with nearly all animal populations on the verge of extinction.  Franny is on her own type of migration, an internal journey.  She too is on the verge of extinction, and the terns are her lifeline.  Travel with Franny on both of her journeys.  This is one of the few books that at the end of it I cried for pure joy!  Migration is going to be made into a movie. Claire Foy and Benedict Cumberbatch will play the leads. I am excited to see how the book will be adapted to film.

McConaghy’s second book, Once There Were Wolves, is set in the Scottish Highlands and follows scientist Inti Flynn who is trying to reintroduce wolves to Scotland.  Inti loves the wolves and is faced with challenges with the community as she follows her packs making new homes in the wilderness.  It is a story of love, sisterhood, mystery, and nature.  All elements for another best-selling book for McConaghy!  Apple TV+ is doing a limited series on Once There Were Wolves with Elizabeth Olsen as the lead. 

In March, Charlotte McConaghy’s new book, Wild Dark Shore, debuts.  It take place on an island near Antarctica that has the world’s seed bank.  I can’t wait to download it on my Kindle.  McConaghy’s books are full of complex, damaged characters in engaging stories that incorporates nature, wild places, and redemption and hope. She is an adept storyteller weaving character and place into unique stories that stay with you long after you are done reading, and isn’t that what makes a great book? 

A Volunteering Spirit; a Hand Up

My parents instilled in me the value of volunteering. Although they never really talked about the act of volunteerism nor commented on why they did it, they were always involved in some event. Mom worked frequently at her church. She donated time to the Red Cross, St. Jude’s fund raisers, her local Chamber of Commerce, and the backpack food program. Daddy was always building or making things, hauling supplies, donating and serving food, and so on.  They taught by example.

One of the most impactful actions I will never forget was the year my parents’ Sunday school class were to adopt a family at Thanksgiving … or was it for Christmas? Mom and I (at a young age) visited the mother of the family at her home. The home was very small. The lady offered us coffee and mom accepted. As we watched her from our seats in her kitchen, she took the cups from the cupboard and began washing them, prior to pouring our drinks. Later mom said she did that to show us she was clean, just poor. I asked why some people have to be poor, some rich, and others – as us – just somewhere in between. Mom said it was because the poor had not always had the same opportunities as the more fortunate.

In America, that didn’t make sense to me. Everyone should have the same opportunities, I pondered. Mom thought about it too.  The next Sunday she proposed to her Sunday school class that instead of adopting the family for the holiday, they should adopt the family for a year. They needed to get to know the family and their needs, wants, and desires.  Then, mom met again with the lady. Mom asked if she could iron. The lady said she could, but her iron was not very fancy.

Mom’s class purchased the lady an ironing board and a nice iron, some distilled water, and spray starch. Mom delivered the equipment, along with a stack of clothing to iron. The lady did a beautiful job and was paid per piece, as was the custom in those days.  She asked if she could take on more. The lady was so excited to have the extra money she enthusiastically said “yes!”

Over time, this lady made so much money ironing that she was able to buy a new car and a house. She and mom became friends. Whenever her family needed something, she would call mom and ask what she could do to obtain it. Sometimes her husband was able to work for items; sometimes they paid the cost price; and at times they items were simply donations.

The story was so inspiring to me as a young person that I learned the importance of offering a hand up. People want to maintain their dignity while needing help. Isn’t that why were are all on this earth – to be a good neighbor?  Let us remember the joy we receive when helping others, especially when we can help them with a hand up.

Monsters in Your Closet

Last October, my sister invited me to spend the day delving into the Monsters in my Closet at her small, local church.  The conference was designed and presented by the women’s group of which she is a member. I was impressed to witness the camaraderie of women spanning young to mature and the way each and every lady in attendance supported and interacted with the others. This is a testament to the caring spirit of their character. The entire day (and the day before while setting up and decorating) demonstrated that women can and do support each other surrounding a common goal.

One of the organizers carried the theme through her creative and vibrant decorations, pulling together the colorful cute monsters from table decorations to wall décor, to serving table and beyond. My sister’s paper clip ornaments were perfect favors, and one lady’s ice breaker gave us an opportunity to “meet and greet” a variety of participants, setting the stage for an interactive retreat.

The chairwoman’s overall retreat leadership was evidenced in both her comments and the consistency of speakers and their handouts. Planning and executing such an event are tasks not for the faint of heart. Well done!

Each presenter gave us food for thought –on Pride, on Anger, on Selfishness, and on Jealousy. The presentations were informative, interesting, and fun. Another lady energized the group with her after-lunch game, offering an opportunity to re-engage minds and bodies for the afternoon.

They chose a charity to support – Refuge for Women – whose director served as a keynote speaker. Her talk was eye-opening and the support of the organization in bringing items needed and financial support was admirable.  I found it fascinating to learn of an organization that shepherds lost souls back to mainstream life, if such an opportunity truly exists for victims of sex trafficking. So sad to have these types of monsters in closets.  I was saddened to learn of the slavery that exists in 2024 and that family members are most of the perpetrators. The speaker gave us an awareness – a wakeup call, if you will.

To lighten spirits after the heartbreaking stories, a craft provided participants with a creative, hands-on outlet to carry us through the afternoon. The woman coordinating the craft had components already gathered making the exercise efficient and satisfying.

Discussion group leaders encouraged deep reflection on the ideas from earlier in the day. And the food! Oh my, these ladies were wonderful cooks and bakers! Everything was (or looked) delicious!

All-in-all the ladies – individually and collectively made an impact on everyone who attended.  I congratulate them on a successful event.  Conferences are not easy to pull off. A lot of planning before execution is required, as is strong and trustworthy leadership.

At our age we can lead, to mentor, and/or to participate in meetings and conferences. Hopefully, we will be reminded of the time and effort required by the planners and speakers and remember to compliment and thank them for a job well done.

Jimmy Carter

Mary Ann

Today, President Jimmy Carter will be honored with a state funeral in Washington, DC. He was 100 years old, and his passing marks a generational change.  The Greatest Generation is quickly coming to an end.  This group of people lived through the Depression, World War II, and help build American to its current greatness. Their hard work, values, and character shaped the following generations, but when they are gone, there will never be another group of Americans like them.  Jimmy Carter was one of them.  My father was a member as well.  They both were born in 1924. Saying goodbye to President Carter was saying goodbye to my father again.  

Jimmy Carter was known for his integrity and kindness, his principles and good deeds.  He walked his talk, and I have a story about the Carters that illustrates just that.

The summer of 1982 my ex-husband and our family was on route from Charleston, SC to Monterey, CA where he was going to go to The Naval Post Graduate School.  On our way to CA, we stopped in PA to visit family and then planned to take the northern route across the country visiting National Parks and other attractions.  While we were at my parents’ home, our nine-year-old son was playing touch football in the backyard with some older boys.  One of the boys fell into my son’s leg – totally an accident – and both the tibia and fibula were broken requiring surgery.  Well, this changed the logistics of the trip.  Luckily, we had a station wagon so we could make a bed in the back to enable our son to make the trip.  As we travelled westward, the car broke down in Cody, WY.  As the car was repaired, we had to entertain our two children, so we ended up at the Buffalo Bill Museum.  It is a beautiful museum of the Old West.

This is where the story begins.  As we wheeled my son around the museum in a wheelchair, we noticed a group of people at the end of one of the hallways.  Within moments several people were making a beeline to us.  When the people got to us, we realized it was Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter and some Secret Service guys.  Apparently, they were vacationing at one of the dude ranches that was near Cody.  They came to meet the child in the wheelchair.  They greeted both of my children.  President Carter and my ex-husband began talking about the Navy, graduate school, the Naval Academy (both were alums), and the like.   Mrs. Carter spoke to me about children, broken legs, and Navy life.  She was lovely and gracious. We were in shock that a former president and his wife would speak to us. I didn’t even ask them to sign my son’s cast – a missed piece of history.  They visited with us for 15-20 minutes when they had to leave. 

 I still marvel that they took time to meet the child in the wheelchair and then stayed to speak to all of us. There were no cameras or press around to capture them being just regular people.  What a magic moment for my family.  As the years passed, and the world got to see this kind couple change people’s lives with their good works, I was not surprised.  My family got to see firsthand what they stood for. They were walking their talk, living their values.   

These Are a Few of Our Favorite Things (2025 edition – part 2)

Last Thursday, Mary Ann shared some of her favorite products. Today, Cynthia is sharing some of hers.

Gel Pens – Not just any gel pens.  My favorites are Jotter gel pens. Usually sold separately, Jotter pens have a rubber-like soft touch barrel that is easy to hold and doesn’t slip. The barrel color matches the fine point ink color so there is never a question when reaching for a writing utensil. These pens are well worth the price as they write smoothly. And let’s face it, colored ink makes us happy!

For an extra fine point writing, I reach for the Le Pen which as with Jotter pens, sports a barrel color that matches the ink color. Le Pens are very thin and “slick” so for me, with mild arthritis, they are a bit hard to hold for long periods of writing.

Chic Wrap – Game changer! If you ever watch cooking shows you will see Chic Wrap in use. These are brilliant little cardboard dispensers designed for plastic wrap, foil, and parchment paper. They come in a couple of sizes. What’s so great, you ask?  Using the dispenser and built-in cutter is a no mess, no fuss way to cover dishes, line baking sheets, etc. I buy mine online at chicwrap.com; however, I am beginning to see them in upscale kitchen stores. The high-quality refills are available, but you can use the rolls you have been buying at your local stores.

Keurig – Okay. I know you are thinking this is a little old school. Yet, Keurig is the way to go unless you are die-hard coffee drinker. Why? Because everyone wants something a little different. I auto ship from the company to ensure I don’t run out of the flavors I use most often. My beverage bar has a drawer full of various teas and another drawer full of various coffees. As the weather cools, I add three types of hot chocolate K-cups. My pantry has an entire shelf devoted to open boxes of items so refilling the bar drawers is easy. When friends and family show up, they know to help themselves to whatever drink they fancy.  Some even go for cold drinks such as Snapple or sweet iced tea. No more pots of regular, decaf, and hot water lined up. Each person simply picks his or her favorite.

Chukar Cherries – Mary Ann actually got me started with Chukar Cherries out of Washington. They are expensive, but the health benefits (so I am told) make the cost worth the expenditure. For fun you can order chocolate covered cherries, but for me I lean towards to cherry and nut combinations.  The energy packs are individually wrapped so I can throw one or two in my purse or bag and take them with me. If I need a quick pick-me-up I have a healthy snack at hand. Of course you can purchase tins in a variety of combinations and gift items are always available. Dried cherries seemingly have antioxidant properties and nuts are full of protein, so these no-sugar added bites are a great go to. You can order these at chukar.com .

Ecos Plant Powered Laundry Sheets – No more challenges with lifting heavy containers of laundry soap. No more worries about spilling. Just grab a sheet, throw it in the washing machine, start the load and know your clothes are getting as clean as they can. The cardboard box the sheets come in is recyclable with your paper. My clothes seem brighter with much less effort and I feel good about helping out the planet.

doTerra – For people who enjoy trying alternative methods before popping pills, this essential oil company may have the answer for you. I especially love the Breathe products. I keep the Breathe drops in my car and in a candy dish in the kitchen. At the first sign of a scratchy throat, stuffy nose, or cough, we just pop one of these lozenges in our mouths, knowing that it is soothing without harsh chemicals. And the Breathe roller ball delivers the blend wherever you like to use it will no measuring and no spills. Having arthritis I also use the Deep Blue rub on my wrist, neck, and back when discomfort arises. Finally, I keep a spray bottle on hand (pardon the pun) of OnGuard Sanitizing Mist. The bottles are in most rooms in my home and in my car for a quick pump and a huge peace of mind.

Mary Ann – Okay. Maybe I am cheating a little here. Mary Ann isn’t a product, but she is one of my favorite “things.” Mary Ann inspires me to be a better person. She is my biggest cheerleader. Mary Ann is creative and caring, always thinking of ways to make others’ lives richer. So here’s to our favorite things … and to my co-blogger, Mary Ann!

So there you have it! Twelve products we enjoy using. And who knows? Maybe this blog will become an annual event.  It is always fun to discover new and interesting products, and it is fun to share them with you.  Give some of them a try!