Category: Wellness

Mary Ann

When I was in seventh grade, I got braces.  I was one of the few kids in the school to have them.  And on top of that, I wore glasses.  Four eyes became metal mouth. In those days, you wore metal band around the whole tooth, and you wore little rubber bands to pull the teeth in the right direction.  I can remember that each time I went to get them tightened, I was in pain before we hit the elevator. It was a very long two years to get my teeth straight.  Then it was retainers for years. Did any of you have those experiences in your junior high years? 

Today, kiddos have a much different experience.  Most children are wearing braces today. You are really not different from anyone else at school.  It starts much earlier with pallet spreaders, retainers before and after, and the development of Invisalign – the invisible retainers that gradually move your teeth. You must wear those retainers for 23 hours a day and that can be difficult for young people to do.  However, you can’t really see them, so you “quietly” make the changes to your smile. 

Initially what started my brace journey was a little girl jumping on my back when I was three and I hit the refrigerator, and my front tooth blacken and died.  I lost the tooth way too early so when the permanent teeth came in, my one front tooth crossed the other front tooth.  The braces fixed the tooth and my bite, so I was gifted with a great smile.  

In my 50s my teeth began to shift. The cross over tooth was crossing over again and the other tooth was drifting back so I had a shadow when I smile.   It would show up especially in photos.  My dentist in NYC suggested I try Invisalign to fix my teeth again.  So, in my sixties, I began to wear braces, the new improved version, but nevertheless it was still braces. I was one of the orthodontist’s oldest patients.  At my age, I oversaw my own procedures.  I would check in every 6-8 weeks.  I was given the trays, and I was very disciplined wearing them for the required 23 hours.  Occasionally I would take a few  extra hours off.  I was able to complete the procedures in 15 months.  The Orthodontist corrected the shifting tooth, but he also realigned my bite, so my bottom teeth did not touch my top teeth making them better for old age.  The final trays become your retainers, and they prevent you from grinding your teeth and wearing them down. 

I was happy that I decided to wear braces twice.  Once is enough for most people.   However, if you are not happy with your teeth or your smile or having problems with your bite causing problems with your teeth, Invisalign is something to consider.  It cost me $5000 for the procedure and some of it was covered by my dental insurance from work and I had money in my HSA.  Today, it would cost you up to $9,500.  To me it was worth every cent.  I am very good at wearing my retainers each night.  On my first round of braces, you were weaned off retainers – every day to three times a week to once a week then done.  Really, you are never really done with retainers because teeth shift.   So, if you want to keep that beautiful smile, it will need constant attention. If you ever considered doing Invisalign, it is easy and not too much discomfort.  Remember, you are never too old to begin again whether it is your first or second time with braces! 

Mary Ann 

I have worked with children for over 40 years, and during that time, they have taught me a few things that I would like to share.  I am also a mother and grandmother, and the family, too, have all taught me life lessons as well. So, I compiled a list of what I think are the most important gifts, the most valuable gifts, you can give children.  These are not American Dolls or video games or a new Smartphone. These gifts are from the heart and soul and will outlast any toy.  Originally, I wrote this for a school newsletter, and one of the parents who was a publisher of a city magazine also ran it in her magazine – a sweet gesture to me.  

1. The Gift of Love – We need to give our children unconditional love.  They need to know that there is a safe harbor from life’s storms.
2. The Gift of Time – We need to make time for each of our children each day.  The time you have children in your home will go very quickly, and it is the minutes of a day that you make the biggest difference.  Take time to read, time to talk, time to snuggle, and time to be with them.
3. The Gift of Acceptance – God gives each child treasures to bring into the world. Each child has different abilities.  We need to be happy with the treasure and not dwell on the things that may not be a strength.  Perfection is a hard burden for a child to carry. 
4. The Gift of Language – We need to be talking to our children and helping them to learn words. We need to give them lots of experience so they can talk about them.  We need to read to children, say nursery rhymes, and “play” with words.  This is not the job of the television.
5. The Gift of Example – We need to walk our talk.  If we expect our children to be honest, we must be honest in our own daily lives.  Your actions speak louder than your words.  Children are watching.
6. The Gift of Consequences – We need to let children learn that their choices have good and bad consequences.  We cannot create a perfect world for them. That is an injustice to children who live in an imperfect world.  They need to know how to cope with mistakes and disappointments.
7. The Gift of No – Children need to have boundaries and to know their limitations.  We can say “no” to a child, and he or she will still love us.  Children are not in charge of families.  
8. The Gift of Curiosity – Children naturally love to learn, and we need to keep them ever curious about the world. We need to develop lifelong learners so they will keep growing. Your interest in the world will plant those seeds.  

As parents and grandparents, we have the awesome responsibility to shepherd our children and grandchildren through life.  Hoping these gift ideas will help be a north star to what is truly important to our children.  

It has been a few years since I originally wrote this article.  I don’t think I would change anything that I proposed.  If anything, I think I would add something about kindness, especially in the times we are living.  Be Kind is just too important to be ignored today.  We need to talk about it and live it each day.  It fits with most of the other gifts.

Hoping this blog with help you and the families in your life in the coming school year.  Learning is more than reading, writing, and arithmetic.  It is also growing a loving and kind heart, and you can be the most influential teacher with these gifts to the children in your life.   

Mary Ann

When I was a little girl, my mother would always say that when I did a kindness, I was earning my wings.  I had no ideas what she was talking about until one day I realized I was earning my angel wings, a place in heaven.  Boy, was that an epiphany! 

We are living in a world where kindness is a vanishing commodity.  There are still very kind people who go out of their way to help you.  However, there is a lot of cruelty in the world and just plain meanness.  They are not earning their wings.  

We need to have grace with one another.  It makes life a bit easier when we do.  Etienne de Grellet famous quote summarizes this way of living.  “I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being: let me do it now.  Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”  Imagine if we all lived by that advice.  No Hunger, No War, No Poverty, No Hate, No Bullying, No Hurt….

I have been blessed with kind people in my life, and I try hard to be kind to those in my orbit.  As they say in the south, my life has been “an embarrassment of riches!”  If, I ever win the lottery, I would have such great joy giving most of it away to help the world.  Wouldn’t that be fun to make that happen?

 When I look back on my life, there is an incident that showed me what real kindness is.  I was perusing an antique shop, and my eyes landed on a cherry dresser that had 7 mirrors on it, and it was instantly love at first sight.  What beautiful lady stood before this gorgeous piece of furniture when it was newly made?  Well, I asked the shop owner how much it was.  He said $1600.  It might as well be $160,000.  I was just recently divorced, and I had to provide for two children.  Teaching did not pay enough to allow such a luxury.  However, the owner said that the dresser was a consignment piece, and the owner of it was picking it up later in the week. I could talk to her and see if she would sell it for less. 

So, I returned to the shop and met the lady who owned the dresser.  I asked her if she were willing to sell it for less.  She asked what I could pay.  I pulled $500 out of the air knowing the piece was worth so much more. She said if I would give her $600, the dresser was mine.  Well, $600 was also impossible for me to buy it, and I told her.  She said that if I could send her $50 a month until it was paid off, I could have the dresser.  This lady did not know me from Adam, yet she took a chance.  She was trusting a young woman who fell in love with her antique dresser. 

I came to know that she herself was a former teacher, divorced, and raised her children by herself. She had walked in my shoes and knew it was like to not to have much money.  She wanted someone who loved the dresser to have it.  That was me!  For the following year, I sent a check each month and at the end of the year, the dresser was mine.  I still have that beloved antique and forty years later, I have never forgotten the kindness that was extended to me.  It may be just a piece of furniture, yet it actually was so much more.  It was one person touching the heart of another, a lesson to remember for a lifetime.  I have tried to pass this particular kindness on by giving most of the antiques that I no longer needed or wanted to someone who would love them. They are gifts! 

So when you hear someone speak about passing kindness forward, remember when someone was kind to you, keep it in your heart, and earn your angel wings for a better world!!

A few days ago I reflected on the goal of having purpose in one’s life, giving meaning.   I guess I have entered a reflective period as today I am thinking of the philosophy of balance and achieving a harmonious life.  In Japanese culture, this concept is nagomi.

Kevin Dickinson on Big Think describes nagomi as “blending seemingly disparate elements until they form a unified, harmonious whole.”  This sounds like a delightful perspective, yet a challenging concept to implement.  How do we maintain our values and morals and achieve peace in a world that consistently throws negativity, anger, and opposition at us?

Kenichiro Mogi, has written a book describing how the Japanese have internalized a life perspective that helps achieve personal balance. It is about harmony, sustainability, and being agreeable. Ken suggests that Japanese people are “very good at being successful but at the same time keeping a low profile.”

In their food, for example, mixing elements from different origins yields delicious dishes. Mogi gives the example of Katsu curry. The cutlet is a French meat dish, the curry is Indian, and rice is Japanese.  Bringing together these disparate elements into one satisfying meal offers pleasure which in turns provides a sense of satisfaction. This example while simple is not meant to trivialize the concept of nagomi.

Mogi, a senior researcher at Sony Labs, is also a visiting professor at the University of Tokyo. In his book he presents how nagomi is manifested in nine areas of life: relationships, food, health, self, society, nature, creativity, and lifelong learning. He offers examples of nagomi in each of these areas.

I found this an interesting concept and fundamentally similar to my own Seven Wheels model for balanced living. Rather than nine focus areas, the model I developed has, well, seven. They are labeled: Physical, Emotional, Professional, Relationships, Self Expression, Intellectual, and Spiritual. Of course each area has a depth that is not fully described in the naming convention. My annual goal setting touches each of these facets to ensure I am achieving well-rounded experiences.

At times, it is easy to spend all your energy in one aspect of your life, only to discover later that something is missing. To achieve equanimity we move gently back into those areas we have neglected. Doing so brings our lives into balance. We realize that the whole is more effective than the sum of the parts. Thus, we find ourselves more balanced and our lives in harmony with our environment.

I guess it somewhat boils down to a positive and focused outlook on life.  I recall a song from childhood – you may have sung it, also. “This little light of mine. I’m going to let it shine.”

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

My first encounter with cold soup was the tomato concoction that originated in Andalusia, Spain known as gazpacho. Traditionally, as I understand it, gazpacho comprises tomatoes, bell peppers, onion, cucumber, and bread with a vinegar and oil, all blended together. Made this way, gazpacho can be eaten with a spoon or enjoyed as a smoothie-type drink.

The recipes in many of my cookbooks, however, do not blend the ingredients, rather they leave small chunks of the summer vegetables giving the soup “tooth.” This way is my preference – I want something to chew!

My brother would tease me saying, “I ordered gazpacho at a restaurant once, but it was cold when the server brought it.” ha ha.

Over the years I have delighted in making fresh gazpacho and keeping it in the refrigerator for several days. When working in the yard or just coming home from a day out in the heat, there is nothing as refreshing as a bowl full of cold veggies. And with all the yummy ingredients I can get my daily dose of vegetables in one bowl.

While I have always told my granddaughter that a recipe is a suggestion, I have always combined and followed recipes from three cookbooks to make mine. I had not been very adventurous beyond the basic ingredients. This year I thought I was very clever.

This gazpacho has tomatoes, celery, onion, garlic, parsley, red wine vinegar, olive oil, vegetable juice and a touch a cayenne. I added sweet and crunchy watermelon radishes and some chickpeas for protein. I was out of cucumbers, which usually find their way into the soup. Avocado chunks are used as garnish to complete the meal. Bread has never been in my summer soup of choice.

Being very proud of myself, I looked on-line to see what the professionals are doing with gazpacho. Authentic recipes abound yet a wealth of “best” and “most refreshing” gazpachos yielded soups that veered from the traditional.  Some people have added hot sauce, zucchini, various herbs, and even watermelon! I guess I’m not so smart after all.

However you decided to make it, fresh summer vegetables offer the most delicious concoction to cool your palate and soothe your soul when temperatures soar. Made ahead, you don’t even have to cook when you come in. And that’s another bonus!

Mary Ann

Have you ever walked into a room to do something and when you begin working on whatever it is, you see something else that needs to be done?  You stop what you are doing and begin working on that. You again see something else that needs fixing, and you stop that and go to the new project.  I do this all the time and started to call it binging.  I am kind of a pinball bouncing from task to task.  I find it relaxing, and at the end of the morning everything is all done. 

I guess it is a type of ADHD or maybe I am just a super multi-tasker.  I have asked other friends if they do this – binging!  Some do and some do not.  It may have to do with our thinking styles.  People are either global thinkers who see the big picture and the interconnectedness, or they are analytical thinker who break down information to smaller bits for understanding. Global thinkers see everything from many directions. Where analytical thinkers are sequential.  There is no right or wrong.  It is your style.  Guess what?  I am a global thinker.  I see the whole shebang, and I want to get it all done at once.  

For me, this is not just an indoor exercise.  When I am gardening, I am all over the yard, binging my heart out. I am planting flowers then I am trimming bushes.  I am watering and digging holes then it is back to planting the flowers and watering.  However, by the end of the day, I have accomplished all my garden chores. In the end, the journey may not be as important as the destination – a clean house, a tidy garden.  

I didn’t seem to do this at work or at least I didn’t think I did.  I had to be discipline and get things done in an orderly fashion.  This took more energy to accomplish.  Where binging gave me energy, again I found it relaxing.

When discussing this with a friend, she called me a Pinball Wizard.  I guess that is what I am.  My style is my superpower even if it only for me.  If you identify with me, maybe you are also a Pinball Wizard.  We may have to create an association or at least a support group!  I bet we would discuss a variety of subjects from all over the place but in the end, we would have it all done, tied up with a bow!  Pinball Wizards Unite!!

Several months ago I began working with a dietitian. My goal was not to lose weight, as it is for most people.  I feel pretty good about my weight, although I wouldn’t mind losing some “rolls” around the middle!  One would think as a vegetarian I have a healthy diet.  Yet, being diagnosed with high cholesterol (for the past 30 years!) and high triglycerides, and not feeling good about the pharmaceuticals to “control” those numbers, I began to look more closely at what I eat. I have always believed the old saying “you are what you eat.”

My dietician prepared a plan for me that, had I known, I could have done on my own. Granted, she has a lot of great tips, which I appreciate.  She gives me a lot to think about.  Being highly motivated, I don’t need her as a crutch or coach, but it is nice to check in once a month and ask questions.

It turns out, the plan she put together is free online from the Food and Nutrition Service of the U.S. Department of Agriculture.  Click the link https://www.myplate.gov/myplate-plan to get started. Answering just a few questions will yield a MyPlate Plan for your needs.

The MyPlate Plan makes it easy to follow a healthy diet for yourself by giving easy-to-follow guidelines for “measuring” food and intake.  Unlike dieting plans that expect you to weigh and measure food, this plan gives you equivalents.  For example, my plan includes five-ounce equivalents of protein each day.  One ounce of protein could be seafood, lean meats, poultry; or one egg; or one tablespoon of peanut butter; or ¼ cup cooked beans, peas, or lentils; or ½ ounce unsalted nuts or seeds.

The other categories are equally easy to follow: fruits, vegetables, grains, and dairy. The website includes information about each food group, and it provides recipes for various cuisines. As for the dairy, while I enjoy cheese, it is high in cholesterol, and I have never been a milk drinker.  My dairy can be fortified soy milk, non-fat Greek yogurt, and some hard cheese (usually white, as the white cheeses generally use vegetable enzymes rather than rennet).

The plan also helps me limit my sugar, saturated fat, and sodium by listing how much is allowed each day. I print out the colorful charts, one for each day, and post them on the side of my refrigerator which reminds me to record what I put into my mouth.

Reading this, you may say, “Wow. That is a lot of work!” It’s not as bad as you would think. My experience is that this method makes following a healthy diet extra easy.  I don’t have to count calories. I don’t have to measure food (you can estimate what constitutes a ½ cup or a ¼ cup). And when I jot down what I have eaten and have met the recommended amount of a category for the day, I get to check off “Yes. I reached my target.”

The best part for me, though, is when I think about a snack, I can check my plan and see what is missing for the day. Instead of sugary candy and cookies, I might reach for the peanut butter and a chopped apple on a rice cake. It’s filling, satisfying, tasty, and healthy. Then I can pat myself on the back. I’ve made every bite count!

Mary Ann

Ever since Covid, my friend Lisa and I have done a non-fiction book club. I have mentioned this in the past.  It has been a wonderful experience reading challenging books and then discussing them.  Some books have been exceptional, and others were duds.  However, we found certain themes immerging, and then came up with our own theory about how to cope with aging.  

As one ages, there is a decline.  Every day you wake up to a new ache or pain that wasn’t there yesterday.  You know you are older, yet it is still a surprise.   Sometimes you just want to hide under the covers and stay in bed all day.  However, you get up, take a deep breath and face the world.  You must decide how you are going to handle the new challenge.

We all know that you need to get a good night’s sleep, eat nutritional meals, exercise, be social, and keep your mind active.  This is something that we can control.  See you doctor for checkups and get your various tests and shots.  Again, you have control here, but much of your health is not in your control.  

Lisa and I gleaned from our readings that accepting and adapting may be a two-step plan to handle many of our aging challenges.  This is not really anything new, but we are using it to help us make sense about growing older.  With acceptance, you may have to give yourself time to mourn the way things used to be.  It is not easy giving up the ability to do something.  It is a loss.  Take your time to heal.  Then you must figure out how to adapt to your new reality.  For example, you may have developed a mobility issue and can’t travel or at least like you used to travel. It is hard to give up something you love to do. This is the time you speak up for yourself and research a condition or aliment and partner with your doctor. It may be getting a prescription for physical therapy to gain strength.  However, you must put in the work to improve.  Then you may have to adapt by using a wheelchair at the airport or use a cane or walker to get around places. Sometimes you must swallow your pride to make things happen.  Tons of people are traveling with all kinds of conditions and do so with a little help. 

Gratitude for what we can still do has also helped us cope with the changes.  Sometimes we must remind one another about this when we are whining about an ailment.  We are hanging in there, and that is not bad as aging people.  That is our silver shimmering!  You need to appreciate your body and care for it during all the different stages of your life.  The change is going to happen anyway. 

This is not a perfect cure for getting older, but it has helped us manage aging.  Often, we will discuss alternatives if suddenly one of us wakes up with stiff knees. What are the steps in gaining some control again?  These two techniques have made a difference in our lives.  We hope that they may make a difference in yours.  Accept and Adapt!  Then say a little prayer of thanks! 

Mary Ann

Did you watch the TV show, Lost?  I did, and at first, I thought it was going to be an exciting show about people surviving a plane crash on an isolated unknown island somewhere in the world.  I like fictional survival shows because they challenges the human spirit asking us what we would do under similar conditions.  In 2010 when it began, I was ready. 

Lost then got lost for 6 seasons, and stupid me watched every one of the episodes waiting to find out why, and I mean, why did they survive and to what end.  In the final episode while awaiting the answer to the program existence, you still didn’t know.  You were left with more questions.  I wasted 121 hours on 121 episodes and still don’t really know the meaning of it all.  I patiently waited episode after episode for answers that never came.  I then decided I would never do this again.  

Now, I give TV shows 1 or 2 episode, 3 at a max before I let it go.  Movies get about a half an hour then I am out of there.  This hold true for books as well.  If I start a book and I am not enjoying it, it is on the way to Good Will.  I used to be a must-finish-the-book, must-finish-the-TV-series, and must-finish-a-movie person.  Now, as a recovering must-finish person, I have freed myself.  I guess I used to be a little OCD.  Now, I am using my time in better ways.  Frankly, at our age, time is priceless.  

So, I am writing this blog to free you too.  You don’t have to finish a book or a TV  show or a movie.  No one is keeping score.  You will not get a notice from somebody admonishing you for your behavior.  Imagine, if that happened.  We would get reading tickets like parking tickets, or overdue notices for not finishing a Netflix series.  By the way, I am trying to figure out how to drop my continue-watching-list on Netflix.  I am sure there is a way, so I need to You Tube it for help.  

However, I do have a confession.  I started to watch Severance on Apple+ TV, and I don’t really know what is going on.  Critics praise the show, friends loved it, and I am totally lost – again!  The second season has premiered, and I don’t think I will be watching it again.  So, all of you who are enjoying it – great.  It is not for me. I love great storytelling.  I just don’t want to get lost again.  Life is too short!! 

Typically as the new year begins our thoughts turn to our health. We resolve to eat right, exercise, read, and who knows what else? And for some of us, we actually follow through. Here we are at the beginning of the second quarter of 2025. How are we doing with our health goals?

Mary Ann mentioned once that her social life is attending doctors’ appointments, physical therapy, and wellness visits. I am now experiencing the same. Physical therapy twice a week and then every day at home. Blood tests for triglycerides and cholesterol and all the vitamins that should be floating through our bodies. Riding the stationary bike and taking walks.  Meeting with a dietician. Things we should have been doing all along now seem to be higher priority.

Younger people get it.  The Gen X-ers and younger are almost obsessed with exercise. Eating properly is important too, but doing so means driving by, not through, the fast-food restaurants.

I pondered the approach. Is it because we are getting older? Possibly. Yet I believe it is partially because now I have time to focus on me.  Being a professional and then a caregiver for so many years, I failed to take time to listen to my own body. All of the sudden I found myself somewhat alone and my body called out to me.

My philosophy includes the belief that our bodies will tell us exactly what they need. We simply need to listen. Much as we need to listen actively when others speak, we need to hear what our body has to tell us. It is wise.

Honestly, I feel better – energized – when I work out. Granted my workouts are not very strenuous, yet simply running through my lower back and upper body exercises takes about an hour out of my morning. Then, a twenty-minute walk around the neighborhood and I am set for the day. Once I developed a little routine, it became second nature.  Knowing I would feel so good upon completion, encourages me to keep moving.

Exercise is good not only for the physical body but also for the mind and spirit. Body, mind, and spirit are connected, without a doubt.  Our intricate system is an integration of seemingly disparate components. Yet all together, it embodies our presence. Thus, we need to take care of ourselves.

Someone once told me, to take care of others, we need to – no we must – take care of ourselves first. I have always known that intellectually. In fact, I have even suggested this to friends and co-workers. Only now am I internalizing this reality for myself. Now it is time to take care of me.