Category: Taking Care of Business

One of the most efficient “tools” I learned while making my way through coaching school was the act of dealing with Tolerations.  Admit it. There are some things that we just “put up with.” Most of the time those things are minute – they would not take much effort if we would just take the time to deal with them. Yet, we prefer to let them sit while we do other things that are more interesting, more enjoyable, or that we consider more pressing.

The challenge with Tolerations is that the longer we ignore them, the worse they become. Mary Ann once gave me a magnet that simply states “A year from now, what will you wish you had done today?”  While the probable thought behind this statement is goal setting, I interpret it as dealing with the little things, too.

Tolerations can be anything that sits in the back of your mind. It may be a stack of papers on your desk, a letter that needs to be written, a closet that needs to have clothes weeded out, a plant with dying leaves, a picture waiting to be hung, a phone call yet to be made, a spot on the carpet, a ….

You get the idea.

Take a moment to think about a few things that silently urge you to attend to them. You know you have some! What are they?  And how do you move forward? Let me share a few of my strategies.

Make a game of it. Do you remember the 1950s television show “Beat the Clock?” Contestants were challenged to complete a task within a specified time frame to win prizes. The show actually began as a radio show in 1948 and was called Time’s A-Wastin’.  Isn’t that what we are doing by procrastinating? Estimate the amount of time it will take to complete the task at hand; figure out some kind of reward for yourself if you complete the task within your given time; and begin. You may find challenging yourself to compete with the clock is a fun way to deal with your Toleration.

Solicit help. Sometimes it is more fun to work alongside a friend or family member. Talk to someone about what you need to accomplish. Ask the person if s/he has a task that s/he is putting off. Agree to help each other complete the respective tasks. In this way you are somewhat holding each other accountable while enjoying each other’s company AND completing your tasks.

List it. Personally, I am a list maker. Yep!  Sometimes I enjoy checking things off my list so much, that I will add the task to my list if it doesn’t appear there, just so I can check it off! Crazy, I know. But often when I tell people I do this, they nod and admit they do it too! Check.

Deadlines – real or created. Nothing is more motivating for me to deal with things around the house than when I am hosting a dinner or event. Sometimes things must be completed before a certain date (taxes, for instance. Ugh). At other times you may just give yourself a deadline – get the car serviced before winter kicks in; or vacuum the baseboards before the pest control people come to spray.

Given these suggestions, you may have other strategies for motivating yourself to deal with those things that are eating at you. Regardless of the method you use, I would bet completing those tasks and eliminating your tolerations will give you a feeling of accomplishment and relief. Now, I have to go deal with a few things …

Why do people make charitable contributions in December?  To lessen the tax burden, the time of year makes no difference. If your cash donations are significant enough to count as an income tax deduction, they are reported for the year, thus January through December.  Still, Nonprofit Source reports that one-third of all cash contributions to non-profit organizations are received in December. Ten percent of all giving comes in the last three days of the year. According to Bloomerang, nearly half of not-for-profit revenue arrives from October through December.

One reason people wait may be due to a heightened awareness of need as the days become shorter (at least in terms of daylight) and the weather is cooler. Holidays lighten our spirits, and we become more thoughtful of the needs of others. We reflect on the bounties we enjoyed during the year and want to “give back.”  And for high-income earners, their net pay may be higher due to caps on annual federal payments or year-end bonuses.

Many people who make charitable contributions have specific organizations they like to support. If you wonder how the not-for-profit uses your donation, several organizations monitor nonprofit organizations and their financial well-being.  I have used GuideStar to review nonprofits’ financial health and other data.  GuideStar houses data for almost three million nonprofits. Doing your research gives you peace of mind, knowing how charities rank based on effectiveness or efficiency.
They review donors, volunteers, and administration of these organizations.  In most cases, the nonprofit organizations self-report but in some cases the reviewing organization does its own research. GuideStar, Charity Navigator, Givewell, and Great Nonprofits are a few.

Remember local charities, also. There are groups to which I donate lightly used items throughout the year, but often forget they also need cash to support their missions.

Importantly, one should know about the health, status, and focus of the organization to which you are donating.  Don’t go strictly by the name of the organization, assuming their work focuses only on the needs in their name. Personify WildApricot states that two-thirds of donors do not do their research!

I have recently joined a nonprofit organization whose sole purpose is to donate large sums to other nonprofits.  The idea is that I can make a donation which of course is appreciated; however, when several of us pool our money, we can make larger donations ($100,000) to a few nonprofits.  With that kind of money, their agendas are better supported, and their dreams get a huge kick start. The impact of each large donation makes a huge difference in our community. Of course a nonprofit must apply for the grant and rise to the top of a well-designed vetting and evaluation process.

People and organizations are stretched thin financially. As we consider our hard-earned dollars going to help others, we want to feel confident that the money truly helps make a difference. With a little research and a big heart, even a few dollars will make a difference. So large or small, carefully give as you are moved to do so, knowing your contribution is sincerely appreciated.

Last May, Mary Ann posted about dostadning – the Swedish art of death cleaning. The idea is to free oneself from clutter – to let go. It’s a way to take control of one’s surroundings, freeing future generations for having to deal with one’s “treasures.”

Having cared for my mother for more than six years, I appreciated her lack of sentimentality. She had no clutter in her home. Still, when I had to sell her house, it took some effort to distribute her belongings among siblings (hers and mine), donations, and garbage.  From that point forward I thought of what my poor daughter would have to deal with if I suddenly dropped dead!

My goodies are organized, as I have mentioned before. Still, the inventory of the labeled storage tubs, the multiple sets of dishes, the outrageously full closet of office supplies, and all the collectibles and art will be overwhelming with which to deal.

I enjoy my “stuff”! And I use it. However, lately I have begun to be able to part with things.  I remember a conversation with my executive coach several years ago. I had decorated my dining room and formal living room with female art. My comment to him was that it seemed I didn’t allow space for a man in my life. His reflection was this: “when the time is right, you will make room.”  I have not forgotten because this simple observation was meaningful to me.  And guess what. The time is now right.

Not for a man in my life, but for letting go.  Without trying I have come to the conclusion that I don’t need … or even want … all the stuff. All of the sudden I am ready to relinquish my hold on items that were dear to me in the past.  Frankly, it is a relief!

I know at some point I will want to live in a senior village and will not be able to take a houseful and a lifetime of trinkets, décor, and entertainment pieces. I am finding it satisfying to find people who want my things or organizations who can sell it to support their cause.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I have more than enough to keep me busy for a few years of cleaning, boxing, organizing, and distributing.  Yet I feel lighter already knowing that things my younger self enjoyed no longer have a hold on me.  The time is right. Rest assured, you will be able to let go, too … when you are Ready. Set. You’ll Let Go!

We all have heard it before. We watch in awe as the nightly new reports on yet another person falling for a financial scam. We think how can people be so stupid? How can people be so unware?! Well, it’s easy to be a victim of scams these days.

Scammers are becoming more and more sophisticated at their jobs.  Yes, their jobs. These people have perfected their craft. They are trained to the most minute detail in the art of building trust with the victim before cleaning them out. And the real kicker, is they are not exactly doing anything illegal. Certainly the perpetrators are unethical. But in the eyes of the financial industry, you are complicit. Therefore, banks will not help you recover your funds – money you “willingly” gave to a stranger.

Most of us get text messages and/or emails from our banks when a potentially unauthorized charge or withdrawal comes from our bank accounts or credit cards. Scammers use this fact to prey on people’s concern.  A scammer’s text usually comes from a legitimate-looking phone number rather than the five-digit coded number of automatic messaging. They can spoof your bank’s number.

Scammers will ask you in the text to respond Y or 1 if the charge is yours; N or 2 if it is not. Of course they know it is not your charge; they made it up. Once you unthinkingly respond, they immediately call, saying they are from the fraud department of your bank and that someone is trying to get into your account. They may say they are already working with the FBI. They may say someone at the bank is suspected to be in cahoots with the illegal activity.  Now, your concern is heightened and you want to work with the person who is being helpful and trying to protect your interests. They have you!

They will tell you – for your protection – that they have created a new account for you. They ask you to load the account number on your phone’s wallet.  Then withdraw cash from your bank account or credit card and deposit the money at an ATM just outside the bank. Next you are instructed to delete the account from your phone’s wallet as this was a temporary card and a new one has been issued, which you will receive in the mail in a few days.

If you do everything that is suggested, the bank considers this your choice.  You can file a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission and your local police department but don’t expect to see your money again.

All of this sounds incredible. However, people are being scammed every day. Some people have lost in the six figures! The scammers are becoming more and more sophisticated.  Our best defense is to remember always be present in the moment.  Answer texts only when you know the person sending.  Never engage in a conversation with an unsolicited caller. And banks and other financial institutions will never ask you to withdraw your money, especially in cash.

Awareness is the best defense.

Mary Ann

My family is a family of collectors!  We love the thrill of the “chase” for that next piece.  My brother use to say as we pulled up to a flea market, “Are you salivating yet?”  We were, so the quest began! 

There is a saying that is the ethos of my family.  If you have one of anything, it is a sample.  If you have two of something, you a sample and a backup should the sample break.  And if you have three of something, you have a collection.  We live by that saying.   

We are hunters and gathers by nature that is deep in our DNA, and I think it translates to collecting in modern times.  It is fun to wile away the hours on a weekend jaunt to a flea market or an antique mall or investigating local garage sales.  And when you find a treasure that you have been searching for, the joy is indescribable!  Whatever the price, it is cheaper than therapy and so much more fun!

When I was little, my mother would take my brother and me with her on her treasure hunting.  I hated it. I was soooooo bored.  I swore that I would not have antiques in my home, or I would never collect anything.  However, I did have a stamp collection and porcelain dog collection.  Then, of course, there was Barbie.  Around the time I turned 25, I had an epiphany – antiques are beautiful!  The collecting began, and I never looked back.  My mother started buying 3 of everything – antique rolling pins or potato mashers or whatever.  I couldn’t get enough.  My brother was far ahead of me.  He and his partner have a gigantic Fiesta Ware collection that pales anything I have

So, the house filled, and I collected doorstops, chocolate molds, napkin rings, all kinds of kitchen items, baskets, crocks, rug beaters, opera glasses, prints, post cards, sheet music, baby items, doorknobs, linens, quilts, book markers, antique jewelry and bags, old cameras, bamboo furniture, Annalee dolls, and a huge collection of Candlewick that fills two big cabinets.  I am sure I am missing some. I know I have a problem, and what is funny, I am now downsizing many of the collections in my Swedish Death Cleaning.  

My children or grandchildren will not want most of the items.  I might as well sell the collections if I can get a good price.  You must find a buyer, however. Case in point is my Barbie.  I was older when Barbie came on the scene.  I took very good care of the doll, her clothes, her furniture, and accessories.  I then carried her around the country with me for 60 plus years.  I finally decide to sell her. I got two appraisals, so I had some idea of her value.  A toy dealer is now selling her for me.  She hasn’t found a new home yet!   

Ebay and other like sites are now the new marketplace.  It is fun to peruse the various sites, and I have found items on them.  However, there is something missing when you cannot touch an item as you hunt for pieces.  Many young people are beginning to have epiphanies themselves about the beauty of antiques and the thrill of collecting.  It fits well with sustainability and is helping the earth.  Do you really need flimsy Ikea furniture when you can have solid wooden furniture with dove-tailed drawers and gorgeous patina?  Old furniture was made to last.   

Women of certain age understand this.  For many of us, we are the keepers of the family treasures.  The antiques are passed down and stop with us.  Then what? You debate to find new homes among the relatives or keep it because it is piece of your family.   I finally have concluded that I am going to enjoy my collections, my antiques as long as I can.  Whoever gets the pieces afterwards, even if they are not family, will be people who really want them.  It will be a fellow collector, and could that be any better?  

Note – There are some good collection books available that will give you ideas for collections and how to display them.  Collections Projects & Ideas from Better Homes and Garden, Collector’s Style, Decorating With the Things You Love from Better Homes and Garden, and Victoria’s The Art of Collecting, Personal Treasures That Make a Home by Melissa Lester.  There are many books on a particular collection such as Fiesta Ware.  They will give you in depth info on your collections.

Ah.  It’s the time of year that television advertisements show senior adults in “granny” gowns acting confused about medical insurance.  We are incessantly bombarded with flyers in the mail, radio advertisements, and in some cases, door-knockers.  Yes, I am talking about the Medicare Open enrollment period which runs from October 15 through December 7.

Okay. I jest, a bit. Understanding your medical insurance plans is important, especially as we continue to age. Each year, it seems, something additional goes haywire in our bodies. Recently when dining with three other female friends, we laughed as we talked about groaning when we sit or stand.  Then, we all got up from the booth in which we were sitting and sure enough – each of us made noises. Then we all laughed.

Yet, our need for the right insurance is no laughing matter. Knowing which plan is the right one for our individual needs – current and anticipated – is a challenge.  One way to begin to make sense of our options is the Medicare and You publication. It is the government’s official guide to Medicare. This handbook is created each year to inform Medicare recipients of changes in their coverage.

I received my e-handbook in September as I had signed up last year for an electronic copy, rather than having the thick pamphlet sitting on my desk for months before I finally flipped through it and then recycled the book I didn’t read from last year.  Signing up for the electronic copy is easy.  Log into your Medicare account and select My account settings.  If you don’t have an online account, you can create one.

Under the Email and document settings section, select Edit next to Medicare & You Handbook. Then under “How do you want to get your Medicare & You Handbook?”  Select Electronically.  Remember to Save Changes.  And there you go!

According to the website, Medicare & You provides information about Medicare benefits, costs, rights, and protections; Health and drug plans; and Answers to common questions. See https://www.medicare.gov/medicare-and-you . The guide is 128 pages.  It is easy to read and quite informative.

At this point you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, “Really?!”  Admittedly this is not as riveting as a favorite novel genre or catching up on stats of your favorite sports teams. We don’t always think about medical insurance coverage …. until we actually need it.  But as we continue to age, it is comforting to know that our medical insurance will help us through those times when our health isn’t as it used to be in “the good ol’ days.”

Literally!  I have become obsessed with stickers. In younger years I don’t recall using a lot of stickers but the more I learn about making my planner appealing, the more I have embraced my inner child.

Have you ever checked the sticker aisle of your local craft store? Oh my! Hobby Lobby, where I select many of my stickers, has an entire aisle designated just for stickers. An additional aisle for photo albums, planners, and calendars holds a section of stickers in pads made specifically for planners.

Bloom Planners also has great stickers. https://bloomplanners.com/collections/all-accessories Their stickers come in packets, usually by months or themes.  Several other sites sell stickers for planners, too.  I’m telling you this is a big deal!

There are stickers for every imaginable holiday and special events such as birthdays, weddings, vacations, and seasons. You can see flat stickers, glittery ones, puffy, and even three-dimensional stickers. Some are large, some are small, some are even itty bitty mini sized. Special stickers are available for food, drinks, health and wellness, budgeting, fitness, travel and transportation. Some stickers are for empowerment and encouragement. Some help with list making. The possibilities are endless!

With all of the options available, you would think I could find just the right sticker. However, I still have to use my creativity.  For example, on days when I have scheduled my workout that is targeted towards my spine, I use cute skeleton stickers. When the cleaning ladies are coming I slap on a vacuum or a feather duster.

When I can’t find exactly what I am looking for, I have to create my own stickers. I can use blank printables such as Avery brand labels which provides templates for using their various size and shapes. I bought a packet of round stickers and have printed pages of Reiki symbols, meditation scenes, and Zoom meetings so I can slap those on the scheduled day.

Obviously, using stickers is fun. It makes the page more interesting. But practically, it also signals at a glance what the requirements, meetings, and activities for the day will be. Embellished with colored pens and highlighters, looking at my daily deeds is cheerful and uplifting. And when I’m in a funk (we all have those days, now admit it!) I can add an inspirational quote as a reminder to take life a little less seriously.

Planning with stickers may not be your “thang.” Still, it can be a fun, creative activity when staring at the mundane pages of your calendar or planner. You don’t have to go crazy and have so many that they have to be categorized and filed, as I do. But if you decide to give it a whirl, just don’t be surprised if you end up finding a sticker on your arm or ankle. Happy Sticking!

In these days of e-Everything, I, as many of you, use an electronic calendar.  I can call up my appointments on my desktop computer, tablet, or phone at any time of day or night. However, I still like to use a paper planner.  For me a planner is more than just a calendar. The planner is a daily journal, an organizer, a thinking tool, and – well – a planner!

Until recently, I had planners going back more than ten years.  Begrudgingly, I finally recycled the pages after perusing the years of activity and notes. I have to admit it was hard.  As with pictures, planners serve me as memory joggers. Some notations make me smile; others are bittersweet; all provide snippets of my life for a year’s time.

Interesting, too, is how life evolves from year to year.  Engrossed in our days, weeks, and months, we may not be aware of our focus and how we navigate our lives. Yet looking back we begin to see patterns lending themselves to those things important to us at the time.

Each year I look at many planners before selecting just the right one. You might say planners are like jewelry or perfume – very personal. [grin] My current planner is an 8” x 10” spiral-bound book that includes a two-page spread for each month, two-page spread for each week, and note pages. Each month is separated by a designed cardstock page followed by an inspirational quote from a famous person.  Although I selected this year’s planner, my sister purchased it for me for my birthday last October.

During the fall I may begin making notes that occur into the next year. Hair and doctors’ appointments that are scheduled months in advance. Concerts and theater performances in which tickets are purchased ahead of time. Pre-paid travel and excursions. And birthdays to be celebrated! I even include notes of when to plant certain flowers, fauna, and foliage.

In addition to appointments, I include current daily and weekly items. Things to do.  I write down phone calls I need to make, notes to write, special checks to write or gifts to send. Being retired, it is easy to waste the day away and then think, “I should have done this today.” By jotting notes about what to accomplish that week, I am reminded and more likely to complete the task. Plus, I get the added pleasure of checking off the task!

As you can tell, I enjoy using a planner.  It may sound like a lot of work, but in reality I simply jot down the tasks, reminders, and lists and then glance at the planner once or twice a day, depending on how much I have going on. And I embellish with stickers for colorful fun. But that obsession is for another blog post.  Happy planning!

Mary Ann

Do you ever feel that you are powerless to change the world?  I did and often still do. However, there is a glimmer of hope out there that can empower you, and change is possible if only one person at a time.  This epiphany dawned on me when I retired. I realized I had a voice, and I needed to use it for good and stand up for my beliefs.

In Stephen R. Covey’s classic, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey ‘s first habit is Be Proactive.  He discusses your circle of influence and being proactive within that circle.  We all have the power to influence those close to us.  It may not be a huge difference, but it is still a difference.  You have more power than you think. 

I have had so much fun monitoring what my congressional representative and senators are doing in Washington.  Since I am retired, I have the time to follow how they vote, and I can let them know if I agree or disagree and that does make a difference. My little local paper documents our national and state representatives’ votes on various bills. If a vote is forthcoming, I will contact them to encourage them to vote a certain way.  If they vote for my position, I will write or call to say thank you for being brave for taking a stand, and I will also call if they vote against what I believe and tell them why I disagree.  I learned I could make my beliefs heard. I could express my opinion.  This is not hard to do.

Just put your congressman or congresswoman’s name or senator’s info in your search engine, and it will take you to his or her website.  On the website, contact info is provided.  You can send an email right on the site, though it is limited to the number of words you can write.  I have sent Part I and Part II to get my total view across.  You can get the address for their office should you want to write a letter, and phone numbers are also provided.  I email, but I also call.  Usually, you don’t get an answer at the senate offices, however you can leave a message.  The representative office is a different story. I usually get a young staffer (maybe a future leader), and I can tell someone directly what I think.  It makes me feel better, regardless the outcome.  Often you will get a letter or an email from the representative thanking you for your input and then telling you how they voted.  This has been my experience.

I haven’t written the president YET, but you can easily contact the White House either through text, an email, write a letter (using the famous address), and you can call.  All this info is on the website.  I need to give this a whirl!

You may ask, does any of this do any good?  Can I really make a difference?   Let me share a story with you that illustrates that you most definitely can.  I will not give specifics to avoid being political.  In my home state, one of our senators held a certain belief that was contrary to what most of his constituents believed.  A bill was coming up for a vote.  I wrote to him explaining my view that I agreed with his personal position, but in the bigger picture it was about rights for everyone which I believed. The senator changed his position truly representing his state, and the bill passed.  As much as I would like to take credit for the change, I know that I was just one of many, many letters, texts, and calls that made the difference.  

I have had fun contacting my representatives.  I am exercising my right as a citizen of the United States – Miss Bowman, my civics’ teacher,  would be proud!  I may not be making a big difference, but my voice is making a difference if only for me.  At least I feel better when I write my beliefs and share my convictions. You can do this too.  Don’t be frustrated.  Make a difference if only for yourself.  You can write your representative, you can work for a political campaign, you can financially support a candidate, and most importantly, you can vote!  You have a voice, so SPEAK UP! 

Mary Ann

When I was a little girl, I compiled a list of things I wanted to see before I died.  It was a bit serious for a child of 6 or 7.  However, I am sure that I read about some of these wonders of nature in my Weekly Reader(Remember Weekly Reader?), and I didn’t want to miss anything. My list included: a hummingbird, a falling star, a rainbow, a monarch, and finding a four-leaf clover.  This was my bucket list as a child.  It was more like a small pail than a bucket. 

Eventually, I saw everything, and my little Bible was full of four-leaf clovers. Since those early years, I continued setting goals – getting a puppy, going to college, and on and on.  I never did talk my parents into getting me a horse. I had a perfect plan for a stable by our creek.  

Fast forward to adulthood, and it was time for grown-up goals.   You can set goals, but life has a way of changing everything thus changing your goals.  Nevertheless, every New Year, I would create a list. I bet you do, too!  Then a few months go by, and the goals are forgotten until the next New Year.  It is kind of a vicious cycle.  So how do you get a handle on setting goals?

Since I have been keeping in touch with Cynthia, we have done annual goals.  No one else I know does goals as well as Cynthia.  She makes spread sheets, lists goals with sets of to-do lists and deadlines, and we set goal reviews on Zoom every few months. it all puts me to shame.  I have created all the same sheets, but I just couldn’t keep up. 

So, this year, I decided I was going to make a few big goals and keep it simple.   I created four meaningful goals that included: the Blog, my Estate Notebook, my School Materials, and Healthy Living – So far so good.  Cynthia and I got Silver Sage Sisters up and running.  I have written 24 blogs.  We do need to get better with the photos, and I promise we are working on that.  I went through my School Materials and have found homes for most it. I need to get my Estate Notebook finished to make my inevitable passing easier for my family when it comes. Finally, Healthy Living is moving along.  I really want to create menus of healthy recipes, so I can plan meals and my shopping list.  I waste too much food which makes me very guilty when I throw it out.  I also started working out on the machines at the gym, and I can tell I am stronger. Now, at the half-way point of the year, I am at a pretty good place.  All the goals’ loose ends will be finished by year’s end. This is the best I have ever been with goals at the mid-point.

Another technique that has been very helpful is working with a buddy.  It makes you accountable, and you can cheerlead one another on.  Cynthia and friend L have done this with me for health goals and financial goals.  If you do one small thing, they will add up to the one big thing you want to accomplish.  It also makes it fun to tag team with a bud.

Please know that Cynthia and I do some goals over and over.  It is funny because we don’t ever seem to get ahead. An example of this is organizing our cookbooks and recipes.  I think I could have my cookbooks suddenly disappear and nothing would change.  Again, I am constantly finding new recipes, so the pile of clippings and new cookbooks keeps growing.  In any given year, I can hardly get all my favorite meals prepared let alone new ones, yet I try.  It really isn’t that bad of a problem, and it all tastes good!

In conclusion, when goal setting, keep it simple, determine what really matters to you, and get a buddy to keep you honest.  It has worked for me this year, so it will be my goal to keep doing it.