At times I think about my childhood and believe things were much simpler then. Of course if I remember correctly, my parents said the same thing. As the summer has come to a close and autumn is now upon us, so too is the autumn of our years. Let’s take a deep breath and enjoy the change of seasons as we remember, fondly, years gone by. And know that
“Age is just the number of years the world has been enjoying you.”
“Remember when” is a phrase that conjures memories. It is commonly used to think about past events, former life experiences, and activities with a certain level of fondness. “Remember when” is a way to recall past experiences, places, or times. Usually these thoughts hold positive meaning or special memories. The phrase may evoke a sense of shared history.
Do you remember when ….
… we rode in the back compartment of the station wagon or the back of a pickup truck and no one thought our parents were irresponsible?
… cereal was considered a good-for-you breakfast?
… you were your parents’ television remote? (“Johnny, change the channel”)
… you played outside until dusk? My dad would whistle shrilly, meaning it was time to go in … and all the neighborhood kids went home.
… you walked to and from school, often alone?
… your parents did not lock the house or the car?
… good manners were expected, not amazingly appreciated?
… “Beam me up, Scotty” and watches you could talk into were science fiction?
… you enjoyed the funnies in color on Sunday morning while your dad read the news and mom clipped coupons from the newspaper?
… paper bags were bad because they destroyed trees; the solution was plastic bags?
… you had to memorize the “times tables”, aka multiplication?
… when you dialed a phone number you actually turned a dial and the telephone number began with letters? FR2-2579
… the family ate together at the kitchen table and mom had cooked the food?
… the doctor made house calls?
… gay was a synonym for happy?
… kids had BB guns that would “shoot your eyes out” ?
… the family attended church and Sunday School or other religious traditions, as a family?
What do you remember about your childhood? Reminisce on days gone by, focusing on happier times when the world was your oyster. (What does that mean, anyway?!)
While we do not want to wallow in the past, sometimes nostalgia kicks in and we …
My [third] beloved 2014 Toyota Camry is reaching 120,000 miles. So far, I have had no major repairs. I faithfully have kept up with the recommended maintenance, have occasionally replaced tires and a battery or two, and consistently vacuum and wipe down the interior. These cars last forever. Still, I decided to replace the Silver Bullet, if only so I can use the trade-in as a down payment, thus avoiding significant out-of-pocket expense.
Truth be told, I want a luxury vehicle. I will admit it. After years as a single mother, caregiver, and generous grandmother, I had decided it was time to treat myself. In the past I have been perfectly satisfied with a mid-range car. I have never been one to feel a need for a new car every few years, having had my last three Camrys 11, 10, and now almost 12 years, respectively. The cars look fine (although this last one suffered a couple of door dings and a scrape). They have been safe and reliable.
I spent several weeks reviewing cars, crossovers, and SUVs online. I read reviews, looked at features, searched for ratings.
Out I went in search of a new ride. Loving a good road trip, my goals were standard: safe, reliable, and comfortable. Those features that seemed like bells and whistles in years gone by are now standard in almost every [new] vehicle for sale.
I headed first for the Toyota dealership, being familiar with the brand. As is the case in most cities now, one owner holds the license to sell multiple manufacturers’ products. The autoplex or automall is not uncommon. On the way to Toyota, I stopped to look at other manufacturers’ offerings.
Admittedly car shopping is overwhelming. I dreaded the “hard sell” – but was pleasantly surprised that I received none of that. Some places had an abundance of inventory. Toyota had very little. What I found interesting was how similar cars are and how varied the prices can be. For the day, I settled on two that I test drove – one was a smaller SUV, and one was a larger, more elegant model. The larger was, as you may guess, almost $12,000 more, but still under what I believed I would have to pay.
I came home and searched for more information. The salespeople both gave me a printout of the car I drove. The printouts included the VIN and basic information about the vehicle. I used that information to find out more on the U.S. Department of Transportation National Highway Traffic Safety Administration website. https://www.nhtsa.gov/ It has a wealth of information. You can look up safety ratings and additional information. You can enter the VIN of your car to get full information on it, which I found was invaluable.
I was hoping to take advantage of the new provision to take an income tax deduction on the loan interest. The deduction is phased out for taxpayers who have a modified adjusted gross income of over $100,000. My research yielded the following additional criteria that must be met to take the deduction (even if you do not itemize.) https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/one-big-beautiful-bill-act-tax-deductions-for-working-americans-and-seniors . To summarize the vehicle interest deduction:
The vehicle must be new and purchased in after December 31, 2024, or in 2025 – 2028.
The vehicle must be for personal use and must be secured by a loan, not a lease.
The weight of the vehicle must be less than 14,000 pounds.
The vehicle must be made in or put together in America. Use the NHTSA’s VIN decoder to discover the vehicle’s plant of manufacture. https://vpic.nhtsa.dot.gov/decoder/
The lender must report the interest paid to the IRS and provide a statement to the taxpayer, similar to a home mortgage.
I am fascinated by how much information is available, yet one must be informed to know to look for certain results. At least one thing has significantly changed in car buying. Dealers are no longer allowed (by law) to play around with extra fees, unclear interest rates, and other deceptive practices they used in the past. Once you sit down to pen the deal (supposedly) everything is open and on the table. So, off I go to finalize a purchase.
I just returned from my daily walk. I say daily because I have no set time to venture out. I just know I have to walk every day, if possible. As the temperatures continue to rise, it becomes harder to motivate myself. Wishing I had heeded the recommendations when I was much younger, I now engage in some form of exercise every day. The more aches and pains that arise, the more exercises I add. Once they become routine, they are not so bad. The exercises take over an hour-and-a-half to complete. I have to remind myself that I am retired and exercise will keep me healthier as I continue to age. It beats the alternative, I suppose.
As I stepped off my front porch and up and down the bridge-like front walk I heard the sounds of suburbia. Across the street an old fence was being loaded onto a flatbed and new panels were being unloaded from another. The voices of men instructing each other as they carried panels and installed the new fence reverberated through the neighborhood.
Continuing along my usual route I saw yard crews mowing and edging. In front of one neighbor’s house the man was visiting with a contractor about a repair that needed to be completed. A new air conditioning compressor was being installed at another home.
Rounding one of the cul-de-sacs I was deep in thought about the various flower beds and landscaping when I noticed a pair of legs, crossed, at the edge of an open garage door. As I came closer, I noticed a hand waving, although I could not see the man’s face in the shadow of the structure. I said hello and continued my turn toward the uphill slant of the street.
Later today Mosquito Militia will spray (organically) my yard and deck – my Urban Oasis – to cut down on that pesky population that I seem to attract just by stepping outside. Another indication of life in suburbia.
At last my house was in sight – a welcome abode where I would cool down and drink a whole glass of water before carrying on with my day’s objectives. I reflected on my observations, noting how grateful I am to have a comfortable home, food in the refrigerator, relatively good health, and a neighborhood where I feel safe enough to walk alone at any time of the day.
The 5 Types of Wealth: a Transformative Guide to Design Your Dream Life by Sahil Bloom is an easily readable, non-fiction treatise on the value of Time, Social, Mental, Physical, and Financial opportunities. Mr. Bloom finished writing this book as he turned 32. Yet, my observation of his ideas leads me to believe Sahil is an “old soul.” He seems wise beyond his years, quoting from many of the [business] gurus of our Baby Boomer professional lives; ancient philosophers, scientists, and mathematicians; and contemporary writers and speakers.
While much of the book focuses on building one’s life along with their career, he has wisdom to share with those of us who are retired yet still active. Thus, I share his perspectives which also serve as a catalyst to my own thinking – past and present.
In his introductory section Sahil reflects that he was in a very successful career, however a mentor he respected began asking him poignant questions. He was certain that he knew what success was but when he had reached that goal, he found happiness was elusive. His mentor suggested he visualize his ideal day at eighty years old. Through these visualizations and after several interviews with more mature people he came to “a powerful realization: We all want the same thing – and it has very little to do with money.” He determined most people’s ideal future dealt with Time, People, Purpose, Health.
Bloom provides a quiz in the beginning, offering the reader a look into his/her perception of each of these environments. Then he provides an avenue for reviewing each aspect. In the Time Wealth section he highlights the importance of spending time based on your personal goals. Of course this is a basic management concept. Yet have we stated the importance of spending time with family and friends?
As senior citizens many of us now wish we had more time to spend with other people, such as our parents, many of whom have passed on. Our friends, children, siblings, and others.
Many years ago I failed to take an extra step to locate contact information for a person whom I had respected and wished to tell him so. When I finally took the time, I learned he had just passed away. I vowed that day to make time for people – family and friends who are loved ones, along with acquaintances I admired. I have since made a point to reach out with a quick note – handwritten, emailed, or txtd – just to let them know someone remembers them.
Recently I invited a couple of friends to join me for coffee with a woman who had been a local leader. Ruth was always encouraging and supportive of women, yet now at 89 and in an assisted living retirement community, no one visits her. People who were “best of friends” have not reached out. While I would not have said we were good friends, I always visited with her at various meetings, occasionally enjoying a dinner out with her. I now make it a point to see her at least once a month.
As Bloom points out, it is important to understand that our time is finite. It is impermanent. In our winter years, we know this all too well. Still, are we making the effort to take advantage of the time we have? Are we allowing ourselves the freedom to choose how we want to spend each minute of each day? Are we tending to and focusing on the things that leave a legacy and that matter most to us? Bloom asks his big question: “How many moments do you have remaining with your loved ones?”
It is never too late to take control of the time we have. Time marches on. Let’s step in line and make the most of the time we have.
Do you have this dilemma? I have plenty of clothes. My closet is full. Yet when it comes time to get dressed, I cannot find anything to wear. I even shop for outfits; that is, when I am deciding what to purchase, I make a point to find two or three tops for a pair of pants, shorts, or a skirt. I think I am being organized, and travel packing is easier. Still …. well, you get the picture.
So summer is in full swing and still I have not repositioned my clothes for easier access. Of course I have the added challenge of having moved my linens from another closet to make room for my grandchildren’s clothes. (One lives with me full time; the other when she is in the mood. Both have their own rooms at my house. But that is another story.)
I have boxes and boxes of shoes that likely will not be worn again, but I can’t bring myself to get rid of them. I have several tops that are nice but that have not been worn for a couple of years. There are dresses that I “may” need one day. And, oh, those jackets, ponchos, and pullovers for winter that were useful once upon a time. All this in addition to the fact that I donated my professional clothes – suits, blouses, slacks, jackets – to Suited for Success soon after I retired eight years ago!
Last year I got the bright idea to put a tag on each hanger. When I wore an item, I removed the tag and the item stays in the closet. At the end of the season, those items with tags still on their hangers were to be donated. It was a brilliant idea! And it worked – sort of.
I’m disgustingly organized, too. One rack has long-sleeved blouses, sorted by color; another short-sleeved and sleeveless, also sorted by color. The pant rack is divided with hanging labels (yes, I made labels!) for shorts, capris, summer slacks, winter slacks, summer sweats, winter sweats, jeans, and athletic pants. Dresses, nightgowns, and robes are in the taller space. Shelves hold shoes in their original boxes, labels facing out to remind me what is in each. Still, my closet feels messy and I can’t find something to wear! It’s time to pull everything out and start again!
So how do I attack this project? Wendy Rose Gould in Real Simple suggests first, set a goal – how much do I want to clean out? Deciding on an amount ahead of the project may seem too confining. However, with an amount in mind it takes some of the emotion out of clearing. Next, gather boxes and trash bags to immediately place pieces for donations, resell, repair, and trash.
As I look at each item, I can ask myself: Do I enjoy wearing this? Does it make me feel comfortable and attractive? When will I wear the item? With what will I wear it. Would I love to wear this if I have something to complement it? Kaitlyn Yarborough wrote in Southern Living that she uses the Rule of 3. If she can’t visualize wearing the item in at least three different ways, it’s out. In this way I suppose you are setting an intention for donning the item in the coming weeks. As for those clothes that are too big or too small, get rid of them. I once bought a dress I adored but I needed to lose about an inch in the waste for it to fit properly. That dress hung in my closet for several years before I finally concluded it was never going to fit. It would fit someone – just not me.
Another challenge is “Why am I holding on to this item that I haven’t worn?” Was it a gift, thus I feel guilty about ridding myself of it, even though I have not enjoyed wearing it? Is it an item I wore for a special occasion or on a memorable trip? By identifying the nostalgic reason opposed to the practical I will wear this when …. I can more easily put it in the donation pile. I can take a picture of it, if I don’t already have one, and thus remember the item without leaving it unused and taking up space. Kaitlyn suggests an “Outbox” much as email uses. Put sentimental clothes that are those you are not sure of into a temporary storage box and put it away. If you don’t go to it in a month or two, it is time to donate the items.
And then there is the item you love but it has to be dry cleaned or it must be treated carefully in the laundry, so you put off wearing it for days you are out and about. Especially now that I am at home several days of the week, I don’t wear high-maintenance clothes for cooking, cleaning, reading, writing, and gardening. I even find myself wondering if it is worth “dirtying” the outfit for a one-and-a-half hour meeting. In this case I really have to decide if I want to keep the item … and wear it!
Now, there are those items I love to wear but really, really need to go – and probably not into the donate pile, if you know what I mean. How many pants and shirts do I need to pull weeds, paint, or just lazy around?
Finally, just do it! Looking at the messy closet, overthinking and procrastinating do nothing to help move the project along. The clothes are washed and ironed, so I need to pull things out of my closet, instead of telling you how to approach this task. Wish me luck!
Many people find themselves at retirement without a clue as to what comes next. Most people believe they have planned for retirement. Money has been socked away. Investments made. Assets inventoried and in a lot of cases homes are debt free. Retirement planning often has singularly focused on the financial wellness of our expected work-free life.
We may even have had random thoughts about “when I retire I will …” travel, spend more time with family and friends, read more, garden, and so on. Yet, how often did we truly think about how we would spend each day? More importantly, how many people thought about their purpose in life. Has one’s purpose changed as we no longer have the role as a professional.
Personally, I never defined myself by my job. Still, leading a team as a university executive gave me some level of purpose. I knew what I would be doing Monday through Friday, and frankly all week. I knew for several hours each day others depended on me to show up, make decisions, support and encourage, and lead. I was visible in the community, sitting on numerous non-profit boards, volunteering, and fund-raising.
Admittedly, as I reached my 60s, I was tired. I was ready to slow down, to step aside and let the younger people take the responsibility. I planned a two-week vacation, leaving two days after my last day of work, knowing that on Monday morning I may wonder “what shall I do today?” Still, it didn’t occur to me that after a few weeks of not being required to be somewhere, for someone day in and day out, that I might need some direction in my life.
Twenty years ago I bought – or was given — The Second Half of Life by Angeles Arrien. The assumption is that once we reach age 50 it is time to begin to reflect on our lives – what has been and what will be. At 50, I was still extremely active, healthy, and out to conquer the world. The book was placed on the bookshelf and left unopened until recently. Now, glancing through it I find a reflective, spiritual orientation to what to do with my life as I journey toward and through the final transition. The golden gate. But I digress.
Dr. Robert Butler, the first director of the National Institute on Aging, led a study on the correlation of life expectancy with individuals who had a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives. He and his collaborators found that people lived longer and were healthier when they felt their sense of purpose. Since that 2014 study, numerous additional studies have been conducted that validate these results.
Richard Leider, who is reputed to be one of the leading executive coaches in America, has created a questionnaire that offers an individual insight into his or her sense of purpose. If you are interested in exploring this approach, you can find the survey at this link:
Your purpose need not be grandiose. Your purpose in life is a part of who you are – your values, morals, interests. It is found within you. Living as your authentic self, spending your time and energy on those things that “put you in your happy place” leads to a happier you. Whatever you enjoy and engage in, living your purpose will give your life meaning.
Here we are. Half-way through the “new” year, already! It seems like quite some time ago we were ringing in 2025 and resolving to reach goals. How are your goals coming along?
I know. Life gets in the way of achieving our goals, objectives, and ToDo Lists. At times, we even forget we defined goals six months ago. Consider this is a gentle reminder to check in. What did you resolve in January to accomplish this year? Did you set timelines or were your items open ended?
For me, goal setting is as much about planning as it is achieving something dramatic. I even attended a planning workshop in January to learn more about setting and achieving my objectives. Yet it seems the more time I have on my hands, the less I am able to accomplish. Isn’t it easy to say, “I have plenty of time. I can do that tomorrow.”?
My system is simple. At the front of my paper planner (to which I refer daily), are two pages dedicated to listing goals. I have labeled each section by month, allowing me to “chunk” my huge list. Chunking simply is the act of separating tasks into doable and achievable portions. Looking at each month’s smaller list is not so overwhelming as looking at a long list for the year. In my mind, that doesn’t mean I necessarily have to complete those items in the month in which it is written, but it is easier to take on a project when it looks smaller.
Upon completion of an item on my list, I place a checkmark to it’s left. When the entire chunk (in this case a month’s worth) is complete, a “good-for-me” sticker is added. A quick glance at the spread points me to the next task to accomplish.
Another tool that helps is telling someone what I intend to attain. Both acts of writing down the goals and of telling another person provide a small level of accountability.
If you made New Year’s Resolutions, half-way through the year is a great time to revisit them. Adjust if necessary. Sometimes, what we thought was important in January is no longer relevant. By the same token, new needs may have arisen. Now is the perfect time to pat yourself on the back for what you have completed. And, rather than beating yourself up for not working towards the other items on your list, start anew towards those things that you still want to realize.
I was given a Bullet Journal by a friend, and if you haven’t heard about them, the Bujos are an interesting way to organize your life or at least part of your life. I don’t know about you, but I am forever collecting pieces of papers with information that I might need. It can be a tear sheet, a Post-it note, a flier, or a booklet about a kitchen gadget. My phone photos are full of screen shots, my electronic version of my ever-increasing stash of info. A Bullet Journal seemed to be the answer to get a handle on the paper.
Bullet Journals are quite simple to do. You can buy beautiful Bujos online, several with starter kits. However, all you really need is a notebook and pen. There are instructional video if you need more help. Just Google it. After you get the notebook, you will make an index of the topics you wish to include with page numbers where the information is found in the journal, and the rest of the journal are the numbered pages of information. I started with a pile of paper and began organizing them into topics. I listed the subjects and began a section in the book about that topic. I numbered the pages leaving a few extra pages for future entries. The page numbers are then listed by the topic in the index.
There are advanced uses of Bulletin Journals. I have not graduated to them yet. Bujos can be logs for future planning and goals or a reflection log of past work, brain dumps capturing your ideas, habit tracking, and pretty much whatever you want it to be. I looked at several posts online about Bujos, and they pretty much said the same thing. (Pinterest has many examples.) They all use signifiers which are symbols to categorize the info. It is as simple as a bullet point or a dash. You can make the signifiers whatever you want.
Get creative and use stickers to highlight different sections or colored pencils to differentiate the topics. Cynthia is the queen of stickers and colored pencils, pens, and markers. She has organized all her stickers and highlights her planners and calendars with them. They are works of art. Sometimes, I glue a clipping or clothing tag in the Bojo. However, I try not to make the book bulky.
At first, I was pretty good at putting materials in the Bullet Journal. Then, I became lazy resulting in a paper log jam. I did put all the papers in a small box, so it is ready to go. I just need to add the new info while I am watching TV or whatever. This is not hard. Then I can make confetti gleefully tearing up all the odds and ends of paper. Of course, I will recycle. I will then have a go-to place when I am trying to find the name of that wonderful plumber everyone raving about.
I would suggest keeping on top of all the paper, so it doesn’t become a landslide. Bulletin Journals are an excellent answer to organizing information. You can use Bujos for several purposes, so the sky is the limit for your ideas. You just need to begin!
I am on another kick. Juicing. My medical massage therapist shared a beet and lime juice she made and I was immediately hooked. And the timing was right. The previous week my grandson reminded me that we made apple juice and orange juice when he was young. I was surprised that he remembered that from so long ago, when we would have sleepovers at Oohma’s while his mom and dad had an evening off.
Having spent quite a lot of time researching juicers, I settled on an inexpensive, cold press version. I decided that I would buy a less pricey one to ensure I would actually use it. In one of the videos I watched about “which kind of juicer is the best” the author suggested the best one is the one you will use. Ah! Common sense.
I had forgotten the vast amount of fruit and vegetables it takes to make a glass of juice. I made an approximately 6-8 ounce glass of citrus juice using two very large oranges, three large lemons, and about an inch of fresh ginger. It was delicious. Refreshing. And a lot of work for a single glass of 100 percent juice. For citrus, you have to remove the outer “shell”, although it is okay to leave the pith as it is separated during the pressing process.
I made a beet and carrot juice with ginger which used three beets, two carrots, and an inch of ginger. I think I got about four ounces of juice!
The apple juice was easier. I still had to cut the four apples into small enough wedges to fit through the hole in the top. One of my criteria for selecting a juicer was a large hole, but I failed to ensure the final selection had one. Mine did not. Sigh.
Another criteria was ease of clean up. Mine is relatively easy to clean. The only challenge is getting all of the “waste” out of the rubber-sealed extractor. The juicer comes with a tool which is necessary to clean that orifice. All-in-all, it is not too hard. It’s the price I have to pay to ensure I am getting a healthy juice – one that I know exactly what ingredients are included.
So I am thinking I’m doing something great for myself. I started researching Mediterranean diet (for real, not the Americanized version) and learned juice is not part of that cuisine. Other than olive oil, which is the juice from olives. But this discussion is for another time.
If you are willing to take the time and you enjoy juice, I recommend making the juice yourself. Less sugar, no additives, and big flavors. Cheers!
Sometimes when I watch those TV commercials about garden hoses or miraculous skin creams, I begin to believe that there is a fountain of youth, and the garden hose will shrink to fit in the palm of my hand. Sometimes I buy the product. I have become my parents and believe everything I see on TV. That is a little scary! Somethings are duds, and somethings are small miracles for three easy payments of $29.95.
I like to see new, innovative products so how do you know that it is more than just snake oil? You can follow influencers. Read reviews. It seems anymore that everyone has an opinion on everything. I also follow Buzz Feed lists which you will find on your phone news.
Buzz Feeds posts are lists of everything. The articles can be 40 Great Dog Breeds for Seniors or 29 Things That’ll Compensate for Your Tendency to Overpack and on and on. There is more information that you ever needed to know about a subject. However, it can be mindless fun to scroll away your valuable time and find products that you didn’t know you needed.
Though, I must say that I love the Buzz Feeds that gives you gift ideas for certain people for certain holidays or a list of the newest kitchen gadgets. I find myself scrolling through them and taking screen shots. The screen shots give me a little time to decide if I really need to have the newest garlic press. I just delete if I really don’t want or need something. I am being glib about the garlic press, because I have found the most remarkable products from Buzz Feed’s suggestions. Who knew that I needed them? It has saved me a lot of time searching for a particular item. It also has given me great ideas for gifts.
In preparing this blog, I explored the BuzzFeed.com website. They have several categories that include Quizzes, Shopping, Arcades, Celebrity, and Trending News (that had good reviews on accuracy.) The shopping sections has all those articles on the best of whatever you might want to buy. This makes finding the right gift so much easier. Then, of course, you go to Amazon to buy it – most of what is featured can be purchased on the big A.
I find myself going down the rabbit hole on all the lists, but it is a safe and fun way to explore a bit of the Internet. There probably is a Buzz Feed list of 40 things to explore on the Internet. I think I need to go find it.
Silver Sage Sisters 