Category: Taking Care of Business

Do you have multiple health care professionals with whom you work? While I am healthy overall, I find that I am juggling physical therapy, nutrition, and various medical appointments. Of course I have a calendar, but it seems pertinent to keep track of who I have seen, when, and the resulting action.

For example, I have been experiencing increasing lower back pain. So much so that my doctor ordered an x-ray and then an MRI.  Looking back at my records, I was reminded that I had an x-ray and MRI on my back two years ago.  I was thinking it would make sense to get a comparative analysis of the two, to see if my situation has worsened or remained the same. My doctor had not recognized the history.

I have always said that you need to take control of your own health. We live in a world where we expect doctors to know our issues and take care of us. We sometimes fail to remember they have other patients – many other patients. And doctors are human. They can miss findings or simply are too busy to scan past entries in our charts.  To be honest, I don’t even remember everything I have had tested, poked, or prodded.

I started keeping a file for each “issue”.  I list the date, the attending physician or medical professional, the purpose, and the result. I have found this history helpful when reviewing treatment.

Many years ago, 1996 to be precise, congress passed the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). The primary purpose was to give patients access to their health records and allow patients to have control of who sees their health information. Standards were set for security and privacy. One provision, which has yet to be implemented by all facilities, was to develop a standard for reporting to offer better care for the patient. That is, each provider would use a system that could be available to other providers.  Some of the bigger health care systems have enabled that feature, usually through a patient portal. Yet we still have a long way to go.

Such a system would be a challenge to implement, but in my humble opinion it could advance health care significantly. Health care providers could have the “whole picture” of a patient’s health. I am hopeful that such a system will be devised in my grandchildren’s lifetime.

Meanwhile, I will keep my lists and drag them to the doctor’s office in the off-chance that I get more than ten minutes with her. 

Often you hear how women are our own worst enemies. Instead of supporting each other, we stab each other in the back. While that may have been true in the past and in many cases, I have found many examples of the opposite. Having made a commitment to myself years ago, that I would serve as an example of how to help and support other women, I am consistently delighted to witness how strong, confident women help build others. Following the old adage, “a rising tide lifts all boats” I find it satisfying when one lifts up another.

I’ve been watching The Murdoch Mysteries. Main characters in the saga include female doctors and the dilemma and challenges facing them as they attempt to navigate careers in male-dominated fields. One doctor mentored the younger doctor, always providing expert advice and support. At the same time, other women turned their backs on both doctors as they were not living “traditional lives” as wives and mothers.  Although this is not the theme of the series, as a [former] professional woman I find the stories all too familiar.

I recall a time when as a new Ph.D. in technology I encountered almost no women in my field. At conferences I would be one of three women among hundreds of men. Some men would scoff at us; others would condescendingly “help” us find our way through the jungle of men and topics.

Time passed. More women joined the professions.  Careers progressed. Or did they? Interestingly, throughout my career I found I was paid less than men, even as I progressed up the proverbial ladder. Some women accused me of “sleeping my way to the top” while others called me dragon lady and names not fit for print.  A few, however, took me under their wings and led me through meetings, supporting me along the way.  Those women, I will never forget.

One such woman is now in assisted living. She is 89 and struggling with degenerative spine issues. I visit her regularly and consistently remind her that she made a positive impact on my life. For that I am forever grateful. She was a pillar of our community, always helping, supporting, and lifting other women. She told me recently that many of her friends were dead and the ones still living do not visit her. Even the woman she practically gave her business to and who lives ten minutes from her has not visited. I find this not only sad, but disrespectful.

“Mankind should be our business” Lew Hayward (John Forsythe) tells Frank Cross (Bill Murray) in Scrooged.  I love that movie! The message, again, isn’t about women, but it *is* about the importance of helping one another. So I ask you, dear reader, to take a moment and think about those who have lifted you up over the years. A friend. A colleague. A family member. Take time to call and thank them for helping you. Let them know how they made a difference in your life.

For now, I gratefully am off to have coffee with a former co-worker who after nine years of retirement has contacted me to ask for a reference, because she said I made an impact in her life. I am shedding tears of joy.  What goes around, comes around, I suppose.

Driving down the street today I noticed a neighbor had several items sitting on the ground next to his garbage bins. I smiled to myself. Ah.  It’s the new year and people are thinking about cleaning up and weeding out items that are no longer of value.  I do that year around, although as I am putting away holiday décor, I have started a box of give-away items. And I am filling my garbage can with things no longer useful.

One of my goals for 2026 is to read 24 books. Some of you are thinking, “big deal” and others are thinking “that many!” Underlying this goal is a different motivation.  I have too many books in shelves – not only in my office but on shelves throughout my home. Some have never been read; others are waiting for a second or third reading. Regardless, it is time to begin honing the collection to those tomes that are especially important to me.

Cookbooks are my friends. For Christmas I displayed four Christmas-inspired cookbooks. When I went to put them away, the cookbook shelves had expanded into another bookcase. I needed to make room.  In doing so, I came across some old “Who’s Who” publications. Some of these have moved around the country with me and sat on bookshelves since the 1980s!  It was definitely time to part with these encyclopedias of peoples’ identities and accomplishments.

Of course I had to take one last look at my entry before tossing the [very heavy] books into the recycling bin. Imagine my dismay when I read my full name (including my maiden name), my birthdate and birth location, parents names, children’s names, and places I worked. Immediately I tore out those pages and ran them through the shredder, as if somehow that would hide these personal details.

It is naïve to think that would be the end of it. What have the hundreds or thousands of other people done with my information – and theirs?! The thought trail took me back to that time – a simpler life when we were more trusting; more open with strangers.  When one would think nothing of picking up a hitch-hiker to help them to the next destination. A time when everyone knew their neighbors as they were not hidden away behind camera doorbells and gated communities.  It was a time when we celebrated others’ accomplishments instead of trying to “one-up” them. Ah. The good ol’ days.

Maybe we can start with ourselves and one-by-one expand our private worlds to others – at least by reaching out to neighbors or people at church or the grocery store. A simple smile to a stranger goes a long way and just may instill in them a sense that life is worth living.

I’m glad to be reminded that people are important. Things are not.  I am going to reach out to some acquaintances; then resume the cleaning and organizing to begin a new year fresh and happy.

Mary Ann

Don’t we all need a White Knight who will slay our dragons or defeats a horrific troll who is under our many bridges.  My White Knight is the Apple Support Team.  I am an Apple fan.  I can’t say enough good things about their products. I have an iPhone, an iPad, and a MacBook Pro and love the fact that all their products can be synched. 

However, what I love the most about Apple is their support team.  In fact, I just used it today as I was writing blogs.  My curser froze, and I tried everything I could to undo whatever I did to cause the freeze.  I then called Apple Support.  The heavens opened and rays of light showered over me, and I was speaking to Kristen.  I explained my dilemma, and she asked me a few clarifying questions.  Then she began to guide me through the various steps to solve the problem.  Within 5 minutes, the problem was solved, and I was singing her praises and that of the whole team. They never disappoint. 

When you call, you never wait more than a few minutes, and you have a choice of music including silence to occupy you as you move quickly through the que.  Upon answering, a friendly associate, male or female, greets you, and we discuss the problem.  Regardless of the Apple device, they can help you.  They verify you are you with a code texted to your phone.  When that is done, they will come on whatever screen with a curser and begin to instruct you in correcting the problem.  This is all securely done with your approval on each step.  If you must use passwords or any other personal information, they leave the website until you are done with it.  They return afterwards to continue to next steps.  Usually, my problems only take a few minutes, but the associate will stay with you until you are satisfied.  One time I had trouble with a Microsoft renewal.  The associate stayed with me for a half hour until we got me up and running again.  That is customer service at its best. 

As a former administrator in schools, I know good teaching when I see it.  Whoever is training these associates is doing an excellent job.  It is hard to teach, but coaching people how to do things that do not come naturally is indeed special.  The Apple Associates are well-trained individuals and are remarkable teachers. They are friendly and very helpful.  

I always tell the associate how good they are.  I always remark on the Apple survey sent after the session how special this help service is and how well-done it is.  Apple Support has saved me several times.  They are my White Knights.  If you have Apple products and don’t know about this service, it is time for you to use it when you are in trouble with computer woes. (800-275-2273) If you don’t have Apple products, it might be a good time to check them out.  I know the world is divided into Apple and PC people.  However, I happen to be a happy Apple person, maybe you should be one too???  We all need White Knights to save us.  

To all our readers I want to thank you for the time you take perusing our musings each week. Mary Ann and I enjoy writing; and this blog has been a way for us to share with you our random thoughts and memories as we navigate our seventies as retired, single women.

With each passing year … dare I say day … I have come to the realization of how grateful I am for so many of life’s “little pleasures.”  As I pen this missive I look out over my front yard where a large and cheerful wooden Santa ushers a realistic reindeer through the red and white wrapped trees.

I am thankful for my health.  Sure, I have trouble getting out of bed some days as my back seizes and the vertebrae “crunch” causing varying levels of pain. Still, in the total scheme of things I can move through my day and function normally, albeit more slowly than in days gone by.

I am thankful for reflection.  I have wonderful and melancholy memories of my parents and brother who have gone before me, yet I have to smile when I look at the Christmas trees that represent each of them. My daddy collected Santas, my mom had an affinity for cardinals, and my brother loved teddy bears. My home has three Christmas trees decorated with their ornaments – a consistent reminder throughout the holiday season of the love we shared.

I am thankful for family. My sister and aunts give me way too much attention – and I revel in the intent and the fun that holiday activities with them yield. This year I was blessed with a sister trip to visit a 96-year-old aunt and 99-year-old uncle and their daughter and her husband. My 83-year-old aunt hosted a Golden Girls birthday party for me in which we all dressed as our favorite character – my uncle dressing as Blanche! The list is much too long for a Christmas day blog. My daughter and her husband and my grandchildren include me in many activities throughout the year, while maneuvering their homes and jobs. I remember how stressful those days were, trying to balance family and work and school.

I am thankful for my friends. Technology has made it possible to “have tea” with Mary Ann, even though we live half-way across the country from one another. My local friends and I enjoy a coffee or lunch date or simply a quick phone call or txt to say, “I’m thinking of you.”

How wonderful it is to be thankful for the gifts life gives. It is important, too, to let others know that the things they do and the gifts they give are also appreciated. In our hustle and bustle we often forget the value of a hand-written note that demonstrates extra effort and sincerity, care and thoughtfulness. Notes create a lasting impression cherished over time, a tangible reminder that the things you do and provide are treasured.

At the same time a physical note provides psychological benefits for the sender, often allowing for a higher level of happiness and lower levels of depression.  The note shows you invested the time in thanking them – that the time you put in selecting, purchasing, and wrapping a gift is reciprocated.

On this day of remembrance and gifts, let us be reminded of the gift of grace. And remember to let your loved ones know you appreciate, value, and treasure their part in your life.

Merry Christmas and a Happy Thank You Note Writing Week. Cheers!

Decorating for the holidays can be a bit overwhelming. Still, it is exciting to pull out treasures from years gone by, prompting memories of friends, family members, and events. Opening the tubs of decorations is almost like Christmas itself. I never tire of seeing gems that have been hidden away for a year.

One such memory comes up every year while decorating the “family” tree, which consists of ornaments from my daughter’s childhood and my daddy’s Santa ornaments. My seven-year-old participated in a gift exchange at school. (Needless to say that was more than 40 years ago!)  I sent a Barbie doll. She received a small handmade wooden mouse ornament.  Every year she tells the story about how she was “robbed” because she really wanted the Barbie. I tried to instill in her the sacrifice of the family who gifted her the ornament.  Yet, every year her children roll their eyes at her story.  Finally two years ago, I gave her a gift right after she told her story – a “professional” Barbie complete with a briefcase.  We all had a good laugh … and last year we didn’t get the story. So much for memories.  All that to say, it’s nice to store holiday décor and benefit from it year after year.

For those of you who have followed our blog for quite some time, you may recall I wrote about storing holiday items in the summer of 2024. Well, I couldn’t help myself after reading “Essential Holiday Storage Tips” by Lauren Kim in American Lifestyle Magazine.  I felt validated! Her tips mirror my practices and are worth repeating.  Following just a few storage guidelines will help preserve your favorite items and make it easier to find next year.

Designate a Location

Having a specific location for all of your holiday décor saves time and frustration. Rather than wondering where a certain item is, you can go to the place where you store all of it. Knowing where you will store items helps you determine the type of container. Mine are in the garage on commercial shelves. At my age, the attic that is access via a pull-down ladder is not practical. (Safety first!)

Consolidate Like Items

Since I have always been a “theme-girl” it is easy to gather the décor for each theme into one tub (or more if you need them). The Santa figurines are in a tub; nutcrackers in another; decorative baking molds in a third; and so on.

Packing the Container

In many cases I kept the original box. This is especially essential for collectibles as having the original box makes the item more valuable when it’s time to sell or donate. For unboxed items, I wrap them carefully in tissue paper. Heavier items go on bottom, lighter and more delicate objects on top. In some cases, an ornament storage container is handy. They are great for more than just ornaments. [I bought a three-tiered one several years ago and use it to store napkin rings.] As I remove the items from its display, I wipe them down assuming they have collected a little dust while out.

Making a List; Checking It Twice

I already have an inventory with a notation of the type of container.  But a few years ago I came upon the bright idea (a-hem) of taking a picture of the items in each box when I emptied the box. It was simple – I just unwrapped each piece and placed it on the table. When all items were out, I took a picture. I printed the picture and placed it inside the box. When it was time to put things away, I just looked at the picture and knew what would fit into that tub. So much easier! However, if you are not that ambitious, just keep a list of what you have and where it went. I code my labels. Since tubs are in my garage I figure I won’t make it easy for someone to know which box to steal if they happen to walk by when the door is open (which is not often).

All this sounds like a lot of work. Well, putting away your holiday décor *is* a chore. Yet we enjoy getting it out every year, so putting it away in an organized fashion makes next year’s access quick and painless. You will be able to spend more time enjoying your possessions.

Happy Decorating! I mean Happy Storing!

Each year, usually in August, I begin my search for the coming year’s planner. My planners serve as a mini journal, chronicling my activities, thoughts, and musings day-to-day.  It’s a very serious process.  Okay, maybe not too serious, but I do agonize over which one to purchase. After all, I will spend more than 365 days with this little compilation of printed sheets.

The first entries will be subscription renewal reminders and birthday and anniversary notations (complete with stickers, of course!). Next, I record any meetings or appointments that fall on consistent days. (Book club meetings, volunteer activities, board meetings, and so on.) I enter my new year’s goals and list tasks I hope to complete in the coming year. Finally, I can begin to make daily notations – coffee and lunch appointments, medical appointments – you get the picture.

All that to say, my planner is truly a companion. Each day I make notes, once January 1 rolls around. So my planner needs to be sturdy and logical – my kind of logical. A-hem.

Over the years I have come to enjoy a particular style, often staying with a brand for several years in a row. Too often, however, the brand ceases to exist or the calendar style I have come to depend upon is no longer available. Some years I decide I want an 8.5” x 11” and other years I want a 7” x 9”.  For the past two years I have had layouts that I’ve come to appreciate. The goals pages are a double spread, and each turn of the page reveals the week ahead, with plenty of room to write, doodle, mark, and sticker. Unfortunately, however, that particular brand is extremely proud of their work. The 2026 planner is $40. Do I really need a $40 planner?!

Proudly this year, I am turning my back on the over-priced options. Determined to find a reasonably priced calendar journal I have searched for hours at a time.  Happily, I have settled on a $10.00, 6” x 8.5”, metal spiral-bound book that I believe will serve my needs. The smaller size requires a smaller footprint on my desk and can easily be tucked into a purse or bag making it easy to accompany me on errand-running days (opposed to rewriting the ToDo list).

Yes, I was in technology for over 30 years and yes, I still use my electronic calendar. But there is something satisfying in selecting a colored ink and highlighters and adding fun icons to each entry. Using a physical planner allows me to slow down and consider my day. Filling the blank slate shows me at a glance what I value in life (that’s for another missive).

As I traverse the holiday season, I find solace in stepping back and thinking about what is in store in the coming year. Penning this missive at the end of a full week of activities, I know there will be a time when a planner will no longer be necessary. Yet for now, I can rejoice in the knowledge that I still have “things to do, places to go, and people to see” as my daddy would say.

Mary Ann

I have been working on an estate notebook for my family to help with my affairs once I leave the planet.  It is done for the most part but needs some final polishing.  It feels good to take charge of something that is rather uncontrollable.  It is a bittersweet experience!  I plan to share various aspects of the estate notebook in forthcoming blogs.

In preparation for the burial section, I explored plots, headstones, and actual burial plans.  I always planned to be cremated and even considered a green burial. However, where I would be buried was the first step in this process. 

Around the corner from my house is a Quaker cemetery.  It is surrounded by hedgerows of trees and bushes and just a stone’s throw from the Quaker Meeting House.  I pass by it several times a week.  It has been calling to me for the last few years.  I have been a bit of a gypsy living in many parts of the country never quite finding a permanent home until I retired in PA near my brother.  I feel at home now, so this is a good place for my final resting place.  

The Quaker cemetery is in the country and is a rather humble graveyard.  I felt that it would be a good place to be buried.  I would be surrounded by peaceful people, many of whom are Quakers.  The beautiful location in the country welcomes wild animals and random wildflowers grow throughout.   I would like deer or foxes walking across my grave and birds fluttering above me.  

I finally stopped while I drove by one day to find the contact information.  I called to set up an appointment to view the grounds. I later met an older gentleman who explained how it worked in a Quaker cemetery.  You buy a cremation plot (there are regular plots available for caskets) where two individuals can be buried. You don’t own a particular spot just the next available plot when you pass.   For regular burials, the headstones are only 18 inches high, and for cremations headstones are flat on the ground and only your name, birth and death dates are inscribed.  Everything is simple.  You can bring flowers, but you can’t plant them.  I was fine with all of this.  

I sent in the fee, which was very reasonable, another surprise, and was given a certificate that is in the estate notebook.  I was given information about the headstone.  This company knew exactly what the Quaker cemetery required of the stone.  Again, it was a reasonable fee for it, and I was given a rendering of headstone to approve the spelling, etc.  With my luck with my name, I wanted to make sure it was exactly as I wanted.  The company will work with the cemetery and set the headstone for another small fee.  

So, the first few steps are now in place for my final resting place.  Stay tuned for my adventure to the crematory.  A new company has just opened a satellite office right down the road from me.  

Remember when we put pictures in albums?  We would secure the photo using glue or tape thinking they would remain in perpetuity.  Over the years photo albums have changed. At first there were black pages and white “corners”.  Then albums advanced. (Or did they?) Some had self-adhesive pages. Others had a cellophane-type covering for each page. Still others had “pockets” into which pictures could be placed. Each of the options allowed us to view the pages, providing solace in knowing the pictures were preserved.

Fast forward to today. Most photographs are taken with digital cameras, stored in “the cloud” and rarely retrieved for viewing. Instead of having 20 pictures from a roll of film, we now have thousands … dare I say millions of pictures stored.

I discovered Amazon Photos. Well, actually, my son-in-law told me about it. As a Prime member I can upload unlimited numbers of photographs. In fact, within seconds of taking a picture with my mobile phone, the image is uploaded automatically.  The really cool thing about it is I can identify people in the pictures and Amazon is able to catalog them with facial recognition. Recently, I was looking for a picture of my mother. I clicked on her name and up popped 2.7K worth of pictures of her. It’s not perfect – mom’s twin shows up in a lot of those pictures. Granted, they do look uncannily alike. But I digress.

What does one do with the photo albums? They take up so much space. The pages yellow, or worse tear from becoming brittle. Plus the albums are of differing sizes and shapes making storage even more difficult.  Not to mention the full shelf of picture albums and boxes on the top shelf of my office closet, I have four shelves of albums! Many of those were my mother’s.  What to do?

During the time mom lived with me, we slowly began to review the pictures. So many pictures included people I had no clue who they were. In several instances, mom could not remember who the people were or why she had the picture. Needless to say, those were trashed.   Now that she is gone, the task is left to me to figure out what to retain. A sentimental and taxing task.

I began the chore of scanning the pictures. This is a slow process, especially considering that my scanner is an all-in-one printer and thus scans 8.5” x 11” regardless of the size of photo. So after scanning there is a lot of cropping. Again, it’s a process. But there is an endpoint.

Shutterfly is a fantastic way to recreate picture albums that take less room. It is so much easier to turn a printed page than it is to wade through photo albums in which the pages or the pictures have stuck together. Additionally, the Shutterflys can all be a uniform size, ultimately storing thousands of pictures neatly while still being accessible for others to view.

I am creating theme-based Shutterfly albums. Recently, for instance, I made one from the scrapbook of my mother’s 70^th birthday party. It was fun reminiscing of that time 26 years ago when friends and family gathered. At times I wonder if all this work is worth the effort. Then someone looks at the album and conversations ensue with “remember the time when ….”

The most special aspect of this exercise is reliving and preserving precious memories for oneself and those who follow us. Plan ahead and be certain you are not only behind the camera (phone) taking pictures, but that you are also *in* some of the pictures.