Category: Lifestyle

Mary Ann

It is that time of year when you need to start thinking about Mother’s Day gifts. For many of us, it becomes harder and harder to think something original to give.  Our older mothers seem to have all they want or need, yet we want to remember them on their special holiday.  This idea can be used for birthday, holidays, or I am just thinking of you gift for someone who needs encouragement or get-well wishes.  It is very personal and unique to the recipient. 

The idea came to me one Christmas when I didn’t have much money to spent on gifts, and I had to get creative with something unique to give that year.  So, I got little baskets for the women decorating them in ribbons and silk flowers and little brass containers for the men keeping them plain for a masculine feel.  I called them Wonderful Yous.  Each basket or container is filled with statements about the person being honored and special quotes or Bible verses that he or she might like. Comments from other relatives can be added as well. Grandchildren’s comments can be especially meaningful with the Mother’s Day Wonderful Yous.

Here is what you do to make the Wonderful Yous.  On small pieces of paper, you write something about the person; for example, you have beautiful blue eyes, or you always have a kind word for everyone.  Then you roll them up and tie with a ribbon.   Then put all the scrolls in the basket or container. The following is a little poem, I would attach to the basket that gave instructions about what to do with it. 

                                                      Whenever you are blue, 

                                                      This little basket is full of Wonderful Yous.

                                                      Just pick one out, read, and remember 

                                                      How very special you are!

This is not a hard gift to make.  You can type on your computer using a pretty font or write the comments on white or colored sheets of paper.  It just takes some time and thinking about the person you are making the gift for.  

One of the sweetest things that my friend, Mary, did for me was making a Wonderful Yous basket in the very basket I gave her some years back.  It was so precious to me.  It always brought a smile to my heart while opening the little scrolls.  It made any day happy.  Now it is your turn to make someone happy with their very own Wonderful Yous! 

Mary Ann

I recently read an article that a good way to eat lunch was to graze by making a plate of a few vegetables, fruits, some protein, a few carbs, and a treat.  I would often do this not realizing I was grazing, so I started to think of ways of making this easy, interesting, and healthy. 

Other countries graze in their own unique ways such as smorgasbords or tapas.  In the United States, we supersize foods which end up supersizing us.  So, I set out thinking about how I could incorporate grazing into my life in an orderly fashion. It came to me that Bento Boxes might be a good direction to go.

I ordered a set of five Bento Boxes from Amazon that were dishwasher safe and made of all the safe plastic materials.  You can get boxes that have various size sections. I thought I could make the boxes up on the weekend and have lunch prepared for the next 5 days.  Of course, I would have to shop for food first and have everything ready to go on Sunday.  These are some of the ideas that I found that worked and a few lessons learned about grub that didn’t.  I am still developing menus as I go along.  

The Bento Boxes I used each have five individual sections.   I tried to use one for fruit, one for vegetables, one for proteins, one for nuts and seeds, and one for carbs. These are some of the ideas for the lunches.

Fruits– grapes, cherries, melons (fresh), apples (pre-sliced packs), clementines, kiwis, berries, and bananas (cut to fit the section; the end will turn brown, and you will need to cut it off before you eat).  You could buy a precut fruit tray that offers pineapples and melons to make the prep even easier.  Small containers can be included that might have peanut butter or cream cheese to enhance the fruits.  Another possibility is using dried fruits. 

Vegetables – carrots, celery, raw cauliflower, raw broccoli, peppers, and raw asparagus and beans, and snap peas.  Again, precut vegetable trays would cut prep time. You may have noticed that I didn’t include cucumber.  I found that they are fine early in the week but get soggy as the week progresses.  You can find small containers to put a dip in such as Ranch Dressing. 

Nuts and Seeds – cashews, almonds, pistachios, pecans, walnuts, sunflower seeds, and pumpkin seeds.  I mixed them altogether and used a quarter cup measuring cup to put into one of the sections.  I used the nuts each day.  

Proteins – One of our area groceries stores makes chicken, egg, and tuna salads in small containers that make a perfect and tasty portion for a section.  You, of course, could make your own.  This, however, makes it easy.  You could roll a piece of ham and a piece of cheese around a sweet pickle for sandwich without bread.   This is a perfect place to use a hard-boiled egg.  These can be purchased already cooked and peeled – easy!  Other  possibilities – there are little brie cheese bites from Supreme and Babybel cheese rounds that are both tasty with crackers.  

Carbs –Any seedy, whole grainy crackers (Crunchmaster or Raincoast Crisps by Lesley Stowe) or even a few chips for a treat.  The crackers are great to have with your protein.  

Once the boxes are assembled, put them in the refrigerator ready to be eaten each day of the week.  You are done fixing lunches for the week in a relatively short period of time.  If you are working, your lunch box is ready to go.  Bento Boxes easily go in the dishwasher once you are done eating.  I did find that it was almost too much food.  However, that is a good thing because you have your afternoon snack already to go.  You can graze away your day! 

I am sure you will have some great ideas of your own.  As I said, I am still learning, but as you apply the things you do learn, the easier it gets. There is always room for exploring new ideas and adding tasty items to your menus.  Bon Appetit!    

Why is it that we fail to connect with old friends and extended family members until someone passes away? I have always thought it is more important to make time for others now, than to wait.

Several years ago I randomly thought of a gentleman who served as a mentor to many of us at the university. Even though on paper I outranked him, Terry was one of those people to whom you looked up. Respected. Listened carefully to what he had to say. He had retired a year or so previously and I had not spoken to him since that time.  I was busy, I would tell myself. One day I finally contacted the leadership in his department, asking if there might be an email address or phone number I could use to reach out.  I was informed that he had died just a few days before. I was upset with myself. I would never be able to tell him how much I learned from him and the impact he made.  I vowed at that time that whenever I think of a person, regardless of how random, I stop what I am doing and reach out, right then if possible. Or at least that same day.

In that vein I have made a point to occasionally contact people who have made a difference in my life – friends and family.

After losing my mother, I continue to contact her siblings – my aunts and uncles.  One such uncle was especially fun – always laughing. He had that big booming laugh that my maternal grandfather had. Full of life and love for his family, if I hadn’t reached out to him, he would call me. He spoke for only a couple of minutes. No long, drawn-out conversations were necessary. Just a quick call. One day not long ago I was in a meeting, so my phone went to voice mail.  His message went something like this: “Hey Cynthia. This is your uncle Campbell. I just wanted to let you know I haven’t forgotten you. I hope you haven’t forgotten me. Okay. Love you. Bye.”  It was such a cheerful, cute message I saved it.

Then a few weeks ago, I received a call saying that he was in the ICU, having had a car accident. He passed away about ten days later. The youngest of the five siblings, all in their 90s, he was the second to go in a year’s time.  We all gathered in Memphis to put him to final rest.

As a military veteran, a lovely, timed-to-the-minute ceremony, was held in the rotunda of the impressive Western Tennessee Veterans Cemetery. Bagpipes played. Army personnel tended his ashes and the U.S. flag which was presented to his wife. A 21-gun salute rang through the air. It was both beautiful and touching.

Later that day, a celebration of life dinner was held at his favorite bar-be-que restaurant. Having met with family the night before at my aunt and uncle’s home, and then at the hotel where we all stayed, we deepened our connections and heard stories from his friends. I ensured I had contact information for each cousin who attended and then created a group txt so we could easily stay in touch.

The eight-hour drive home was filled with conversation and ideas. Luckily, my sister had gone with me, so we were able to chat about the weekend. We even talked about our paternal side of the family and how we had all gathered at my brother’s celebration of life a year-and-a-half ago. Now that we are the “top generation” of our family, we are more aware of the time we have left and how we will spend it.

Once again, my thoughts turn to one of my affirmations. Live each day as if it were your last. It may be.

Mary Ann 

One of my favorite sayings is “As Thy Day so Shall Thy Strength Be.”  It is a Bible verse from Deuteronomy (33:25) that I recently discovered the origin.  I should have known with the Thys and the Shall.  It has gotten me through some really challenging times.  It is like the quote, “God only gives you what you can handle.”  Life is hard, and there are always going to be tough times.  

However, everything in our lives that challenges us is not always a problem.  For the most part it is an inconvenience, not a real problem.  Real problems are like the wildfires in Los Angeles or a cancer diagnosis or a loss of a job – how are you going to pay the bills? These are real problems, real worries. 

Often, we call the daily inconveniences that we face, problems.  Traffic jams, phone calls that should be one yes or no answer that take 10 steps to get to it, the wrong order at McDonalds, and on and on.  There is a big difference between a rainy day and a hurricane.

I try to remember the difference as I go about my life.  In the past, no matter what the problem or inconvenience was in my life, my father would always say,” it is all going to be okay, and it was.  I always felt better when he said those words to me, a healing balm. 

I was recently watching Shrinking on Apple TV+.  It was episode 4 of Season 2. The show was centering on problems of the various characters.  Near the end, neighbors Derek and Liz were sitting on the patio with the other cast members.  They were talking about the very comment that my father would make.  Liz asked Derek to do The Special for Brian.  Derek sat down and told Brian to look into his eyes and then Derek said, “Whatever it is, everything is going to be okay.”  There were a few tears.  There is magic in those words just as they had been for me when my father said them to me.  I guess there are many fathers who say that to their family members. 

I try to say those words to my children, but I somehow do not have the gravitas that my father’s words held.  Maybe they mean more than I realize.  Maybe they won’t mean as much until I am gone.  Then they will have to pass it on to their friends, children, or other relatives. 

There is a magnet, card, and a pin by Quotable Magnets that says, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it is not the end.” – Unknown.  Maybe we need to all put that on the refrigerator to remind us that most problems will be resolved, and most are just inconveniences.  

My parents instilled in me the value of volunteering. Although they never really talked about the act of volunteerism nor commented on why they did it, they were always involved in some event. Mom worked frequently at her church. She donated time to the Red Cross, St. Jude’s fund raisers, her local Chamber of Commerce, and the backpack food program. Daddy was always building or making things, hauling supplies, donating and serving food, and so on.  They taught by example.

One of the most impactful actions I will never forget was the year my parents’ Sunday school class were to adopt a family at Thanksgiving … or was it for Christmas? Mom and I (at a young age) visited the mother of the family at her home. The home was very small. The lady offered us coffee and mom accepted. As we watched her from our seats in her kitchen, she took the cups from the cupboard and began washing them, prior to pouring our drinks. Later mom said she did that to show us she was clean, just poor. I asked why some people have to be poor, some rich, and others – as us – just somewhere in between. Mom said it was because the poor had not always had the same opportunities as the more fortunate.

In America, that didn’t make sense to me. Everyone should have the same opportunities, I pondered. Mom thought about it too.  The next Sunday she proposed to her Sunday school class that instead of adopting the family for the holiday, they should adopt the family for a year. They needed to get to know the family and their needs, wants, and desires.  Then, mom met again with the lady. Mom asked if she could iron. The lady said she could, but her iron was not very fancy.

Mom’s class purchased the lady an ironing board and a nice iron, some distilled water, and spray starch. Mom delivered the equipment, along with a stack of clothing to iron. The lady did a beautiful job and was paid per piece, as was the custom in those days.  She asked if she could take on more. The lady was so excited to have the extra money she enthusiastically said “yes!”

Over time, this lady made so much money ironing that she was able to buy a new car and a house. She and mom became friends. Whenever her family needed something, she would call mom and ask what she could do to obtain it. Sometimes her husband was able to work for items; sometimes they paid the cost price; and at times they items were simply donations.

The story was so inspiring to me as a young person that I learned the importance of offering a hand up. People want to maintain their dignity while needing help. Isn’t that why were are all on this earth – to be a good neighbor?  Let us remember the joy we receive when helping others, especially when we can help them with a hand up.

Mary Ann

Today, President Jimmy Carter will be honored with a state funeral in Washington, DC. He was 100 years old, and his passing marks a generational change.  The Greatest Generation is quickly coming to an end.  This group of people lived through the Depression, World War II, and help build American to its current greatness. Their hard work, values, and character shaped the following generations, but when they are gone, there will never be another group of Americans like them.  Jimmy Carter was one of them.  My father was a member as well.  They both were born in 1924. Saying goodbye to President Carter was saying goodbye to my father again.  

Jimmy Carter was known for his integrity and kindness, his principles and good deeds.  He walked his talk, and I have a story about the Carters that illustrates just that.

The summer of 1982 my ex-husband and our family was on route from Charleston, SC to Monterey, CA where he was going to go to The Naval Post Graduate School.  On our way to CA, we stopped in PA to visit family and then planned to take the northern route across the country visiting National Parks and other attractions.  While we were at my parents’ home, our nine-year-old son was playing touch football in the backyard with some older boys.  One of the boys fell into my son’s leg – totally an accident – and both the tibia and fibula were broken requiring surgery.  Well, this changed the logistics of the trip.  Luckily, we had a station wagon so we could make a bed in the back to enable our son to make the trip.  As we travelled westward, the car broke down in Cody, WY.  As the car was repaired, we had to entertain our two children, so we ended up at the Buffalo Bill Museum.  It is a beautiful museum of the Old West.

This is where the story begins.  As we wheeled my son around the museum in a wheelchair, we noticed a group of people at the end of one of the hallways.  Within moments several people were making a beeline to us.  When the people got to us, we realized it was Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter and some Secret Service guys.  Apparently, they were vacationing at one of the dude ranches that was near Cody.  They came to meet the child in the wheelchair.  They greeted both of my children.  President Carter and my ex-husband began talking about the Navy, graduate school, the Naval Academy (both were alums), and the like.   Mrs. Carter spoke to me about children, broken legs, and Navy life.  She was lovely and gracious. We were in shock that a former president and his wife would speak to us. I didn’t even ask them to sign my son’s cast – a missed piece of history.  They visited with us for 15-20 minutes when they had to leave. 

 I still marvel that they took time to meet the child in the wheelchair and then stayed to speak to all of us. There were no cameras or press around to capture them being just regular people.  What a magic moment for my family.  As the years passed, and the world got to see this kind couple change people’s lives with their good works, I was not surprised.  My family got to see firsthand what they stood for. They were walking their talk, living their values.   

Okay. I admit it. I am a nerd. I am an introvert. I enjoy my own company. Don’t get me wrong. I like people. I like being with people. I also like holidays and if you have been reading all year, you know I like a good theme party. But the one thing I don’t really care about is the too loud, crowded, drunken New Year’s Eve celebrations to which so many people do look forward.

Maybe this perspective began 25 years ago when I was single and had my first grandbaby (who is now 6’4”!) and I volunteered to keep him so my daughter and her husband could have a proper date night celebration. Or maybe that was an excuse. Regardless, I enjoy a quiet evening at home.

New Year’s Eve is a time of reflection. I revel in my thoughts as another year winds down and the possibility presents itself to begin anew. I realize the timing is somewhat arbitrary. Maybe I could have the same sense of completion and renewal another time – for instance, a birthday.  But there is just something peaceful about curling up on a cool winter evening with a cup of fragrant hot tea, sitting in comfy loungers with a blankie over my body and simply relaxing.

New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to look over the passing year’s goals and task lists to celebrate the accomplishments – large and small. I perpend the whys of those items left undone and revel in the satisfaction of completing the others. Looking over the list is a fascinating reminder of what was important a year ago compared to current priorities. It is humbling to see how far – or not – I have come as a person and to think about others I may have touched along the way.

Upon reflection I turn the page to the new year with renewed determination. I cogitate the direction I want my life to follow in the coming year and the milestones to achieve that vision. Knowing that much of my life is directed by me and my actions, I set intentions, define goals, and list tasks that seem perfect on this night for achieving my dreams for the new year.

While in most years when I have experienced the rarity of time alone, I realize goals are modified, intentions are solidified, tasks are worked (or not). I develop a thoughtful plan on which to build in the next 365 days. I speak of goals rather than resolutions. New Year’s resolutions conjur a negative connotation of unfulfilled dreams. Developing goals gives me an opportunity to stretch myself. Having an evening dedicated to being alone with my thoughts sets the stage for a healthy and productive year to come.

You may have a different perspective of how to spend New Year’s Eve. I trust you will determine what best serves you to usher Father Time out and welcome the New Year’s baby in. Please celebrate in a way that best serves your soul.

Now as 2024 comes to a close, Mary Ann and I wish you and yours Peace, Love, and Light. And a wonderful 2025.