Author: Cynthia

75 Hard / 75 Soft / Personalized

by Cynthia, posted in Lifestyle

I have always believed it takes 40 days to make or break a habit. That’s why I found 75 Hard to be an interesting approach to achieving a desired lifestyle.

Andy Frisella is a “best selling author, highly sought after consultant and public speaker.” Many enthusiasts know of the challenge he put forward in 2019 called 75 Hard. His book 75 Hard: A Tactical Guide to Winning the War with Yourself is said to help a person gain mental toughness and achieve one’s real potential. 75 Hard became an internet sensation.

When I first heard about it more than a year ago, I knew I would not be successful in completing the 75 Hard Challenge.  The challenge is extreme goal setting, with predefined rules.  To say you have achieved the goal, you must complete five specified tasks every day for 75 days without fail. No cheat days. No days off. In fact, if you miss one of the tasks on any given day, you must start over to honestly say you completed the 75 Hard Challenge.

The daily rules that must be followed for 75 consecutive days are

  1. Follow a structured diet without deviations, alcohol, nor cheat meals.
  2. Two 45-minute workouts per day, one of which must be outside regardless of the weather.
  3. Drink a gallon of water.
  4. Read at least ten non-fiction, educational pages geared toward improving your life
  5. Take a progress picture.

The idea behind the challenge is to build confidence, self-esteem, fortitude and discipline – all great attributes to have.

Much has been written and reported about the value, or lack thereof, of following this program. Some question its extreme rules suggesting it could trigger individuals into making unhealthy decisions. For me, this pointed to the problem the author was trying to address – people need to think for themselves and act accordingly.

I liked the concept if not the actual challenge. Much as a New Year’s resolution or a health and fitness goal, the 75 Hard Challenge is a guideline for a healthy lifestyle focusing on mental, physical, and emotional improvement.  So, I built a personal challenge* and set a time-line of 40 days. Additionally, I allowed one cheat day per week. A day off, if you will. A day of rest for my mind and body. I found that day was the hardest! I learned through the process that taking a “me day” was my biggest challenge.

Ultimately, my take-away is this. Evaluate your own needs periodically. Ask yourself what you need, to be the person you wish to be. Then set your own guidelines as goals and work towards achieving those changes in lifestyle. You will come out on the other end proud of your achievement, knowing you did it for yourself.

*My Daily Personal Challenge included riding my exercise bike for at least 30 minutes, drinking a glass of water every 90 minutes, going to bed at approximately the same time every night, and writing a minimum of 1,000 words. I also eliminated take-out food during that 40-day period. Taking a daily picture did NOT make my list!

Ready, Set, (Letting) Go

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

Last May, Mary Ann posted about dostadning – the Swedish art of death cleaning. The idea is to free oneself from clutter – to let go. It’s a way to take control of one’s surroundings, freeing future generations for having to deal with one’s “treasures.”

Having cared for my mother for more than six years, I appreciated her lack of sentimentality. She had no clutter in her home. Still, when I had to sell her house, it took some effort to distribute her belongings among siblings (hers and mine), donations, and garbage.  From that point forward I thought of what my poor daughter would have to deal with if I suddenly dropped dead!

My goodies are organized, as I have mentioned before. Still, the inventory of the labeled storage tubs, the multiple sets of dishes, the outrageously full closet of office supplies, and all the collectibles and art will be overwhelming with which to deal.

I enjoy my “stuff”! And I use it. However, lately I have begun to be able to part with things.  I remember a conversation with my executive coach several years ago. I had decorated my dining room and formal living room with female art. My comment to him was that it seemed I didn’t allow space for a man in my life. His reflection was this: “when the time is right, you will make room.”  I have not forgotten because this simple observation was meaningful to me.  And guess what. The time is now right.

Not for a man in my life, but for letting go.  Without trying I have come to the conclusion that I don’t need … or even want … all the stuff. All of the sudden I am ready to relinquish my hold on items that were dear to me in the past.  Frankly, it is a relief!

I know at some point I will want to live in a senior village and will not be able to take a houseful and a lifetime of trinkets, décor, and entertainment pieces. I am finding it satisfying to find people who want my things or organizations who can sell it to support their cause.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I have more than enough to keep me busy for a few years of cleaning, boxing, organizing, and distributing.  Yet I feel lighter already knowing that things my younger self enjoyed no longer have a hold on me.  The time is right. Rest assured, you will be able to let go, too … when you are Ready. Set. You’ll Let Go!

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

by Cynthia, posted in Reviews

By Betty Smith (Elisabeth Wehner, born in 1896)

This American classic falls in the Young Adult genre yet is instructive for adults of all ages. The book is an account of the life of Francis, a girl who lives in poverty early in the 1900s. Told through the eyes of Francis in the form of five books, the author shares an almost autobiographical treatise of her experiences and varying relationships. The story highlights the way she interprets each encounter — each observation through the lens of her age and situation.

I found the book to be harsh and, unfortunately, real. While the universal themes of poverty, alcoholism, and education are pervasive, the story highlights the human spirit … or lack thereof. There is, throughout, the failure of women to uplift and support each other – to find fault in others who struggle equally yet differently and separately. At the same time, the theme of tenacity runs consistently through Frances’s life.

Tales of discrimination which reminded me of how cruel people can be even today, after all we have experienced and observed. Discrimination is in the form of race, color, politics, socio-economic status, and gender.

I found the character development weak, the writing mediocre, and the plot almost non-existent. But what do I know?  This book was an immediate success and was in its second printing when it was officially published in 1943. Ms. Smith entered the book as a piece of non-fiction into a Harper and Brothers competition. At the publisher’s recommendation, she changed the title and the classification to fiction. This publication was one of the most widely mailed to service men in World War II.

Obviously, I am far from a literary genius. I wonder how some publications become “classics” while other, more meaningful works fall by the wayside. Yet, this coming of age story truly reflects life as we knew it then and know it now. From my reaction, one might think I didn’t appreciate the read.  On the contrary, I recommend it.  Sometimes a classic just needs to be read. We need to recognize the themes and the struggles of the characters. Hopefully, the exercise will help us reflect on our own lives – the way we live each day and how we treat others.  And maybe, just maybe, the world will become a better place, as we learn from our errors and strive to rise above, lifting others as we go.

Beware of Scammers!

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

We all have heard it before. We watch in awe as the nightly new reports on yet another person falling for a financial scam. We think how can people be so stupid? How can people be so unware?! Well, it’s easy to be a victim of scams these days.

Scammers are becoming more and more sophisticated at their jobs.  Yes, their jobs. These people have perfected their craft. They are trained to the most minute detail in the art of building trust with the victim before cleaning them out. And the real kicker, is they are not exactly doing anything illegal. Certainly the perpetrators are unethical. But in the eyes of the financial industry, you are complicit. Therefore, banks will not help you recover your funds – money you “willingly” gave to a stranger.

Most of us get text messages and/or emails from our banks when a potentially unauthorized charge or withdrawal comes from our bank accounts or credit cards. Scammers use this fact to prey on people’s concern.  A scammer’s text usually comes from a legitimate-looking phone number rather than the five-digit coded number of automatic messaging. They can spoof your bank’s number.

Scammers will ask you in the text to respond Y or 1 if the charge is yours; N or 2 if it is not. Of course they know it is not your charge; they made it up. Once you unthinkingly respond, they immediately call, saying they are from the fraud department of your bank and that someone is trying to get into your account. They may say they are already working with the FBI. They may say someone at the bank is suspected to be in cahoots with the illegal activity.  Now, your concern is heightened and you want to work with the person who is being helpful and trying to protect your interests. They have you!

They will tell you – for your protection – that they have created a new account for you. They ask you to load the account number on your phone’s wallet.  Then withdraw cash from your bank account or credit card and deposit the money at an ATM just outside the bank. Next you are instructed to delete the account from your phone’s wallet as this was a temporary card and a new one has been issued, which you will receive in the mail in a few days.

If you do everything that is suggested, the bank considers this your choice.  You can file a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission and your local police department but don’t expect to see your money again.

All of this sounds incredible. However, people are being scammed every day. Some people have lost in the six figures! The scammers are becoming more and more sophisticated.  Our best defense is to remember always be present in the moment.  Answer texts only when you know the person sending.  Never engage in a conversation with an unsolicited caller. And banks and other financial institutions will never ask you to withdraw your money, especially in cash.

Awareness is the best defense.

Happy Halloween

by Cynthia, posted in Wellness

Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays – if you can actually classify it as such. A holiday is “a day of festivity or recreation when no work is done” according to the Oxford Language Dictionary. In America, as in some other countries, Halloween is recognized as a fun day to adorn ourselves in costume, decorate the house and yard, and share goodies with neighbors – especially the children. And celebrating with family and friends is a great way to shed stress and build wellness.

My fourth-grade teacher – an unmarried woman who never had children – piled on the homework that year on Halloween. She thought it immoral that children would go door-to-door begging for candy.  I will never forget how angry she was when talking about Halloween. Her comments in that witchy tone of voice left a lasting impression. I thought at the time, how sad for her, not to be able to enjoy the laughter and camaraderie surrounding the day.

Fast forward to today. Several years ago in my current neighborhood I would hand out more than 250 pieces of candy. The doorbell rang so much that I finally resolved to standing at an open door awaiting the little ghosts, goblins, witches, princesses, knights, and more.

I so enjoy decorating, although I stay away from the gory, opting more for the delightful skeletons, pumpkins, and witches hats and brooms. In the past I had to make my own décor as decorating for this celebration has not yet caught on. But now! So many options!  One year I sat skeletons at a table with witches hats hanging overhead. I won Yard-of-the-Month because the neighbors enjoyed walking or driving by. Last year the skeletons were raking and planting flowers.

Interestingly, Hallowe’en has been recognized by other names. Allhalloween, All Hallows’ Eve, All Saints’ Eve. In the liturgical calendar the day is for remembering the dearly departed*. Some believe the tradition was influenced by the Gaelic / Celtic festival of Samhain. The day has long been celebrated in Ireland and Scotland, bringing the traditions to North American the 19th century.

Whatever the history, Halloween has become the beginning of the holiday season for many of us.  My brother would call this time of year ChristhanksOween. Our family celebrates a lot of October birthdays through his which was early in December. Several religions celebrate various  traditions during this time of year.

Regardless of one’ religious  beliefs, Halloween has come to be celebrated widely as a fun day for kids of all ages and stages to express themselves through costume, sharing delight with family and friends. It’s a day for letting of steam in a jovial way. So from my [haunted] house to yours, Happy Halloween!

*A Mexican holiday for which we also decorate and remember our loved ones who have passed is Dia de Los Muertos – Day of the Dead – celebrated on November 1 and 2.

Dining Alone

by Cynthia, posted in Friends and Family

Some of my friends have lamented they are finding themselves alone for dinner.  In the past, many of us refused to go to a restaurant without a friend, a date, or possibly another family member. Personally, I rarely went to a restaurant alone, even when on a business trip.  It just felt awkward. Upon reflection, I imagine it was more a lack of self-confidence.  I mean, I ate.  I ate alone. Yet, I was alone in my hotel room or at home.

Have you dined alone this year?  If so, you are in good company.  OpenTable reported that 60% of Americans have dined alone at least once in 2024.  That figure is up 29% over the previous two years. One reason for this may be because people are working remotely. Or they are marrying later and thus living alone (which is quite a conjecture, in my humble opinion). Debby Soo, CEO at OpenTable suggests enjoying one’s own company is a result of the broader movement of self-care.

Reflecting on dining alone made me think.  At our age, many of us are finding ourselves alone for the first time, having lost a spouse or a family member or a friend. It’s a hazard of aging. Another reason may be that we are more discerning about how we spend our time and with whom. We no longer feel obligated to go out with acquaintances just to be with someone, especially those we tolerate, rather than enjoy.

I have spent most of my adult life as a single, professional, woman. I recall decades ago coming to the realization that I can enjoy dining alone.  I took to heart an article I read that suggested setting a lovely table, even if it is only for myself. That must be part of the reason I began tablescaping. Over the years I have found gazing out the window, listening to music, or enjoying the flicker of a candle while eating was as satisfying as being in a restaurant.

On another note, when eating at a restaurant, I would take along a notepad or a book.  If I began to feel conspicuous, I would simply pull out the book and read or jot notes about things that needed to be done.

In other words, I learned eating alone gave me another level of independence and confidence. And, when the opportunity presents itself to share mealtime with another person, I will always enjoy the company, knowing it is a choice, rather than feeling the need to have a dining partner. Bon appetite!

Autumn Means Open Enrollment

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

Ah.  It’s the time of year that television advertisements show senior adults in “granny” gowns acting confused about medical insurance.  We are incessantly bombarded with flyers in the mail, radio advertisements, and in some cases, door-knockers.  Yes, I am talking about the Medicare Open enrollment period which runs from October 15 through December 7.

Okay. I jest, a bit. Understanding your medical insurance plans is important, especially as we continue to age. Each year, it seems, something additional goes haywire in our bodies. Recently when dining with three other female friends, we laughed as we talked about groaning when we sit or stand.  Then, we all got up from the booth in which we were sitting and sure enough – each of us made noises. Then we all laughed.

Yet, our need for the right insurance is no laughing matter. Knowing which plan is the right one for our individual needs – current and anticipated – is a challenge.  One way to begin to make sense of our options is the Medicare and You publication. It is the government’s official guide to Medicare. This handbook is created each year to inform Medicare recipients of changes in their coverage.

I received my e-handbook in September as I had signed up last year for an electronic copy, rather than having the thick pamphlet sitting on my desk for months before I finally flipped through it and then recycled the book I didn’t read from last year.  Signing up for the electronic copy is easy.  Log into your Medicare account and select My account settings.  If you don’t have an online account, you can create one.

Under the Email and document settings section, select Edit next to Medicare & You Handbook. Then under “How do you want to get your Medicare & You Handbook?”  Select Electronically.  Remember to Save Changes.  And there you go!

According to the website, Medicare & You provides information about Medicare benefits, costs, rights, and protections; Health and drug plans; and Answers to common questions. See https://www.medicare.gov/medicare-and-you . The guide is 128 pages.  It is easy to read and quite informative.

At this point you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, “Really?!”  Admittedly this is not as riveting as a favorite novel genre or catching up on stats of your favorite sports teams. We don’t always think about medical insurance coverage …. until we actually need it.  But as we continue to age, it is comforting to know that our medical insurance will help us through those times when our health isn’t as it used to be in “the good ol’ days.”

More Than Pampering

by Cynthia, posted in Wellness

I just came home from my medical massage, feeling all ooey gooey, body relaxed. My granddaughter mentioned “lines” on my face – indentations from being face down on the massage table.

My first encounter with medical massage was about three years ago. Suddenly my back seized. I was in pain. It hurt to sit, stand, lie down, and move! Unsure how to deal with this phenomenon, I went to a favorite resource: Google!

The search yielded a couple of medical massage locations near me. The first one I called couldn’t get me in for a week. The other got me in the next day.  Upon arrival I met a lovely young lady (younger than me!) who had me explain what was going on. She took notes, drawing on an outline of a body. Satisfied that she knew what needed to be done, she asked me first to sit on the table.

After a series of stretches, I was invited to lie on the table. Then she proceeded with a massage, pulling and stretching along with the regular massage rubbing.  At the end of the hour, I was upright and mobile.  Judy gave me instructions to do some unique (to me) stretching exercises. Within a day or two I was completely pain free.

That was the beginning of a happy relationship.  Since that first encounter, I have seen Judy once a month. My monthly massage visits seem to keep me supple – moving better.  Granted I realized the importance of exercise, so I began with simple stretches, core building, and eventually walking and riding my stationary bike.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not an exercise nerd and by no stretch of the imagination (pardon the pun) an athlete.  I do enough to keep my 70-something body moving with minimal pain. The best outcome has been the friendship I have developed with this lady who is my daughter’s age. We have a mutual respect for each other’s skills and perspectives.  She is fun, intelligent, adventurous, and extremely kind, not to mention quite knowledgeable about the musculoskeletal system.  While I believe I get a lot more out of the relationship than she, I still believe it has been a winning combination for us both.

For more about Judy and her services, see: https://www.edmondmedicalmassage.com/

Sticking to the Mundane

by Cynthia, posted in Taking Care of Business

Literally!  I have become obsessed with stickers. In younger years I don’t recall using a lot of stickers but the more I learn about making my planner appealing, the more I have embraced my inner child.

Have you ever checked the sticker aisle of your local craft store? Oh my! Hobby Lobby, where I select many of my stickers, has an entire aisle designated just for stickers. An additional aisle for photo albums, planners, and calendars holds a section of stickers in pads made specifically for planners.

Bloom Planners also has great stickers. https://bloomplanners.com/collections/all-accessories Their stickers come in packets, usually by months or themes.  Several other sites sell stickers for planners, too.  I’m telling you this is a big deal!

There are stickers for every imaginable holiday and special events such as birthdays, weddings, vacations, and seasons. You can see flat stickers, glittery ones, puffy, and even three-dimensional stickers. Some are large, some are small, some are even itty bitty mini sized. Special stickers are available for food, drinks, health and wellness, budgeting, fitness, travel and transportation. Some stickers are for empowerment and encouragement. Some help with list making. The possibilities are endless!

With all of the options available, you would think I could find just the right sticker. However, I still have to use my creativity.  For example, on days when I have scheduled my workout that is targeted towards my spine, I use cute skeleton stickers. When the cleaning ladies are coming I slap on a vacuum or a feather duster.

When I can’t find exactly what I am looking for, I have to create my own stickers. I can use blank printables such as Avery brand labels which provides templates for using their various size and shapes. I bought a packet of round stickers and have printed pages of Reiki symbols, meditation scenes, and Zoom meetings so I can slap those on the scheduled day.

Obviously, using stickers is fun. It makes the page more interesting. But practically, it also signals at a glance what the requirements, meetings, and activities for the day will be. Embellished with colored pens and highlighters, looking at my daily deeds is cheerful and uplifting. And when I’m in a funk (we all have those days, now admit it!) I can add an inspirational quote as a reminder to take life a little less seriously.

Planning with stickers may not be your “thang.” Still, it can be a fun, creative activity when staring at the mundane pages of your calendar or planner. You don’t have to go crazy and have so many that they have to be categorized and filed, as I do. But if you decide to give it a whirl, just don’t be surprised if you end up finding a sticker on your arm or ankle. Happy Sticking!

The Women

by Cynthia, posted in Reviews

I was excited when my book club decided to read Kristin Hannah’s book The Women.  To be honest, I didn’t know what it was about but having read some of Hannah’s books previously, I was certain it would be well-researched historical fiction.

The Women is a well written, compelling story of Frances “Frankie” McGrath who struggled as a young woman to understand hers and other females’ place in society. She starved for positive approval from her father, beyond being a pretty and intelligent socialite. Frankie wanted equal recognition from her ultra-conservative father as her brother who had enlisted to fight for his country in the Vietnam war.

Frankie followed in her brother’s path and enlisted — she in the Army Nurse Corps. She was unprepared for the horrors of war. Men who had returned early on were heroes. Women could be heroes, too. Yet what she encountered, the hardships she endured, and even worse, the treatment she received upon returning were more harrowing than she ever could imagine.

The story takes you through her experiences in Vietnam and continues through years of trauma after she returns home. It chronicles the importance of female friendships. Her courage and idealism eventually defined an era.

The Women, although set in the 1960s and years later, is relevant today.  How are women treated? Is equality possible? Can Americans come together in time of trauma? Will we ever understand the reason for engaging in military conflict and the ultimate sacrifice of those who serve? Do we even want to learn?

When I read historical fiction I ponder what I can do as an individual to avoid the same mistakes we made in our past. For those who are moved by historical fiction and who are willing to consider how history repeats itself if we fail to step up, pay attention, and make positive strides towards higher morals and values, this book is one of those must reads.

Or, if you just like a gripping story that highlights past events, you may enjoy reading The Women.