Caring Expressions

Cynthia

A few months ago my brother, my soulmate, passed away.  I was devastated. I could not imagine life without my big brother, to whom I looked up. Over the months before his passing I took my turn at caring for him to give his wife a break. He became frustrated and agitated at the loss of his independence. The days and nights ran together for him, his wife and for me. At the same time I was caring for my mother who also was a hospice patient and my granddaughter who had multiple issues and eventually surgery the week before my brother passed.  During this time sleep evaded me. My energy dropped. Yet, as we women often do, I pressed on.

Throughout the months of caregiving and the days after he passed, friends checked in to see how I was coping. Often just a quick phone call or a short text of “thinking of you” with a heart emoji was just what I needed to know my heart was enfolded in their love.

My brother was very spiritual and patriotic, but not religious. In planning for my brother’s Celebration of Life my nieces, sister, sister-in-love, and I decided to serve foods he enjoyed. Because I frequently made pies for him, I volunteered to make 200 mini blueberry pies for the “party.”

Friends and family gathered one Saturday morning to help. How comforting to be surrounded by friends and family during this time of intense grief. I had an opportunity to share some memories of my dear brother.

Having always valued my friendships, I have an even greater appreciation for the “little things” one can do to support a friend in grief. A card, a note, a smile, an ear. Never think your small expression of caring goes unnoticed.  It means the world, even if the recipient cannot respond at the time.