Double Names

Mary Ann

When I was born mid-century, now an antique, double names were in vogue – Debbie Sue or Barbara Ann.  I was named after my grandmother, Mary, and there was a great, great grandmother who was named Mary Ann. I did not have a middle name.  However, the entire world for my entire life has tried to make me a Mary and Ann as my middle name.  I have never felt like a Mary.  I am Mary Ann.

For the most part I could correct my name by raising my hand or changing my name on the back of a document sent to me – you know, put corrections on the back. I tried using my maiden name as a middle name and the Ann was still dropped.  

I lived like this for most of my life until Social Security suddenly began to call me Mary.  For years, they used Mary Ann.  I guess with a new computer system or whatever, they dropped the Ann.   It is interesting to be in a Social Security office and have they tell you your name is Mary and you tell them no, it is not.  Sorry, that is how your state has registered your birth so we must use that. Oh, NO!!

Social Security then sent me to the courts to change my name.  The judge looked at my birth certificate and said you can’t change your name to your name.  Then he sent me on my way.  This was a bit frustrating.  I went to see my Congressional Representative.  Of course, I didn’t see him, but I got a staffer who was most helpful.   They told me to bring my parents to the local office, and they could verify what my name was.  My ninety-year-old parents went with me to the office.  They told the staff that I was a Mary Ann with no middle name.  The paperwork was completed, and my name was submitted as MaryAnn, no space.  A month or so later, I received a new birth certificate.  I then submitted it to Social Security, and they finally accepted it using my correct name. 

Thankfully, my parents were alive to help me correct my name.  I am not sure what I would have had to do if they were not.  I guess I would have had to hire a lawyer and go back to court.  For the most part, things have been better now since I have done the change.  When I get mail now, those who address me as Mary do not know me, and I pay no attention to the correspondence.  

Naming your child is one of the biggest responsibilities a parent has.  There are so many things to consider.  Does the name have more than one spelling?  Is it easy to pronounce?    Do the initials spell something weird?  Are you going to give an extremely long name to your child?  Think of a first grader learning to spell his or her name. It will take them forever to do this.  Sometimes a baby name doesn’t age well, and conversely, an adult name can be a heavy thing for little shoulders to carry.  Be mindful if you give a double name to your child.  Make it one word if you can such as Annamarie or Marianne. You can also add a hyphen – this is called a double barrel name and is common in many countries such as the UK.  Just know if you don’t, you are giving your child a lifetime of hoops to jump through.  I am living proof!

Some countries in the world actually have restrictions on naming children.  However, the United States is known as the naming wild west – anything goes. Elon Musk has used digits to name one of his children – XAEA-12.   According to the Social Security records, Olivia and Liam are the top USA names for this past year – easy in every way! 

I have just purchased my headstone, and I made sure that my name was correctly spelled as I want it.  I don’t want to go into eternity with the wrong name planted above me!  It has been a bit of hell on earth for me fighting constantly to correct my name.  I would like to rest in peace!!