Invisible 

Mary Ann

Most women at one point or another in their lives become invisible.  As we age, we begin to fade, not just our looks, but who we are.  At times it feels like we have disappeared.  It may be at a meeting when your suggestion is just ignored and then the idea becomes one of the other men’s ideas a day later, or a man is given a position even though the woman was more qualified.  You see it, and you feel it.  It is not your imagination.  

This became apparently clear to me while I was working in NYC.  I was in Starbucks in a long line awaiting to place my Chai Latte order.  As we moved forward, I noticed a very pretty, young lady behind me. The line moved, and I was up next. The male barista didn’t take my order.  He completely ignored me and began to take the pretty girl’s order who was behind me.  I stood there with my mouth opened – in shock – and finally said, “I was next.  She is pretty, but I was next.”  He then took my order without an apology.  He did not see me!  I realized at that moment that I was experiencing what many women have experienced – invisibility! 

Every person, man or woman, should be treated with respect.  As we get older, we should be honored as the elders in the society.  However, we are not.  No wonder women chase the fountain of youth. Have you ever seen those postings on phone news where they show a picture of a former famous actress as an old lady.  Most recently it was Cybil Shepherd. Really, her only fault is she just grew old.  We all do.  However, is it necessary to stalk these older women to get those pictures?  It is done with men as well, but women dominate these pictures. It is sad.

Caroline Criado Perez’s book, Invisible Women, explores the data bias in a world designed for men.  She is British but uses data from all around the world.  Whether it is medical research or the workplace or even transportation, the male perspective is the default in a world that is 50% women.  In many ways you are invisible just for being a woman, and it intensifies as you age.  Invisible Women is academically based, but it is quite readable.  You will identify with much of the book should you want to explore this topic even further. 

 A lot must change for there to be equality, and this won’t suddenly happen. I once read in USA Today that it would take 1000 years for the world to be equal for both men and women.  There would be equal numbers of women and men in Congress or half of the CEO would be women and the like.  It is getting better, but it is at a snail’s pace.  When that happens, women may no longer be invisible.  However, a thousand years is a long time to become visible, and we have no choice but to move forward.